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Reasons Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time - Romance - Nairaland

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Reasons Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time by Stegomiah: 11:57am On Jul 10, 2013
You may be married or you may be dating, but the restless confusions feel just the same when you’re drifting apart from each other. You may not know the reasons or even when the drift started, but you can sense it from the unhappiness you feel in love. Below are 12 reasons why couples drift apart over time

#1 Non-communication.
Communication is by far the single biggest aspect that holds lovers together or tears them apart. Do you still talk to your lover the same way you once did at the start of the relationship?

People change with time, and you may assume you know everything about your lover, but chances are, they’ve changed and they’re not the same person you once met several years ago. When you start to take communication for granted in a relationship, it’s only a matter of time before the inevitable drift takes control of the relationship.

#2 Suppressed emotions.
Does your partner ever tell you to dream big, or quit your job and find something better, or anything else that makes you feel small and weak? How do you react to it? Do you communicate with your partner and express just how you feel about their ideas, or do you subtly grind your teeth, roll your eyes and just nod your head to get away from a discussion?

Many couples drift apart, not because they don’t love each other, but because they suppress just how they truly feel about the things their partner says. Your partner would assume they’re communicating with you. And you, on the other hand, would tell yourself that your partner can never understand you. Can a relationship ever work when such confusions play out every single day?

#3 Incompatibility.
This could happen over the years, or immediately after the infatuation period. If you start to believe that both of you have nothing in common, you’ll only feel worse over time. And what starts off as a nagging worry may end up leading both of you away in opposite directions.

If you want a relationship to work, it’s always best to test your compatibility at the very beginning of the relationship, instead of trying to trying to sculpt your lover into your idea of the perfect mate over time.


#4 Swollen egos.
When both of you fight or have a discussion, do both of you give in now and then for the sake of the partner’s happiness? In a few relationships, ego plays a bigger part than the relationship itself.

If you’d rather give your partner the silent treatment or avoid them instead of trying to make up with them, chances are, your ego is the reason why both of you are drifting apart. Arguments are good for a relationship, but only if they’re used the right way!

#5 Emotional affairs.
You spend a lot of time at work. But somewhere along the way, have you started getting really close to a colleague or an old friend of yours *of the opposite sex*? Sometimes, you may never even realize it, but you may be confiding more to a friend than your own spouse or lover.

It may not seem like much now, but there’s a thin between friendship and emotional affairs. And if you’re in an emotional affair, you’re setting your relationship up for doom.

#6 Initiative.
In a successful relationship, both partners have to take an active interest in pleasing each other and making the other person happy. When you don’t take initiative in love, both of you may start to take each other for granted, and the relationship would start to stagnate.

Go out on vacations, plan crazy dates, tease each other and have fun. And most importantly, try to create memories every day. It’s the easiest way to take the initiative and show just how much you care.

#7 Life directions.
As time goes by, both of you may pursue different interests in life. One of you may want something, while the other lover may want something completely different. For a while, the relationship may still seem happy and perfect.

If you believe your relationship is perfect, even if both of you don’t go out or do anything new, while your partner believes they’re stuck in a suffocating rut, these are differences that can make both of you drift away to the point of no return.

#8 Confrontations.
Do you avoid confrontations? Many lovers avoid all kinds of confrontations all the time. They just put up with anything their partner says, and sulk about it behind their partner’s back. If you’re tired of fighting it or discussing anything sensitive with your partner, you’re probably tired of the relationship or have given up on its success already.

#9 intimate intimacy.
Sex is a very important part of romance and love. If you’re not having enough sex, or not trying hard enough to keep the intimate excitement on a high, you’d find yourself bored with your relationship in no time. You may think you’re content with the lack of intimate intimacy, but in reality, that’s because both of you are turning into siblings instead of a romantic couple!

#10 Emotional intimacy.
Do you still connect with your partner emotionally? Is your partner the first person you want to share good news with? Do you feel happy just talking to your lover or telling them about your day?

These are little things that don’t seem like much, but they play a big part in holding a relationship together. The lack of emotional intimacy in romance will force one or both of you into an emotional affair or at times, a intimate affair too.

#11 Lack of time for each other.
We work really hard these days. And at times, we don’t have more than an hour or two to spend with our lover, what with work and all the hanging out with friends. At first, both of you may miss each other.

But as the months pass by, both of you will learn to live without each other. And before either of you know it, both of you as individuals would be completely capable of leading your own lives without having the other person in it. And once neither of you have the need for the other person, it’s inevitable that both of you will drift away from each other.

#12 Buildup of resentments.
Do you ever feel like your partner’s not good enough for you? Disappointments that aren’t discussed always lead to resentments, and over time, these resentments accumulate and convince you that you’re unhappy in the relationship.

These resentments may be small and at times, even too silly to ever mention out loud, but they’d gnaw at you from the inside, and however hard your partner tries, you’d always feel like you’re stuck in a meaningless relationship when you could be so much happier with someone else. Learn to communicate with your lover, and talk about these resentments even if it seems awkward. After all, building these resentments will only force you to drift away from your lover even if they’re crazy about you.

http://www.lovepanky.com/love-couch/broken-heart/reasons-why-couples-drift-apart-over-time

25 Likes

Re: Reasons Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time by effisyman: 4:49pm On Jul 10, 2013
13. Naija economic situation....no money, no food.

7 Likes

Re: Reasons Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time by Nobody: 4:49pm On Jul 10, 2013
YEAH RELATIONSHIP WAHALA. I HAVE ONE GOOD REASON >>> CHANGING BODY SHAPES. THE GUYS 6 PACK TURNS TO TUPAC. AND THE WOMANS CURVY YANSH TURNS TO A SACK OF POTATOES grin grin

13 Likes

Re: Reasons Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time by badoist(f): 4:51pm On Jul 10, 2013
Nos 1, 2, 3, 4 and 7 so on point
Re: Reasons Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time by Willgates: 4:51pm On Jul 10, 2013
#13; expanded punny due to child birth lipsrsealed

2 Likes

Re: Reasons Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time by Demainman1: 4:51pm On Jul 10, 2013
Source pls? embarassed
Re: Reasons Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time by AdaNri1(f): 4:53pm On Jul 10, 2013
Willgates: Time constraint visa vis expanded punny due to child birth lipsrsealed
onuku.
Re: Reasons Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time by badoist(f): 4:53pm On Jul 10, 2013
Demain_man: Source pls? embarassed

Are you blind?

3 Likes

Re: Reasons Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time by Chillisauce: 4:54pm On Jul 10, 2013
Stegomiah: You may be married or you may be dating, but the restless confusions feel just the same when you’re drifting apart from each other. You may not know the reasons or even when the drift started, but you can sense it from the unhappiness you feel in love. Below are 12 reasons why couples drift apart over time

#1 Non-communication.
Communication is by far the single biggest aspect that holds lovers together or tears them apart. Do you still talk to your lover the same way you once did at the start of the relationship?

People change with time, and you may assume you know everything about your lover, but chances are, they’ve changed and they’re not the same person you once met several years ago. When you start to take communication for granted in a relationship, it’s only a matter of time before the inevitable drift takes control of the relationship.

#2 Suppressed emotions.
Does your partner ever tell you to dream big, or quit your job and find something better, or anything else that makes you feel small and weak? How do you react to it? Do you communicate with your partner and express just how you feel about their ideas, or do you subtly grind your teeth, roll your eyes and just nod your head to get away from a discussion?

Many couples drift apart, not because they don’t love each other, but because they suppress just how they truly feel about the things their partner says. Your partner would assume they’re communicating with you. And you, on the other hand, would tell yourself that your partner can never understand you. Can a relationship ever work when such confusions play out every single day?

#3 Incompatibility.
This could happen over the years, or immediately after the infatuation period. If you start to believe that both of you have nothing in common, you’ll only feel worse over time. And what starts off as a nagging worry may end up leading both of you away in opposite directions.

If you want a relationship to work, it’s always best to test your compatibility at the very beginning of the relationship, instead of trying to trying to sculpt your lover into your idea of the perfect mate over time.


#4 Swollen egos.
When both of you fight or have a discussion, do both of you give in now and then for the sake of the partner’s happiness? In a few relationships, ego plays a bigger part than the relationship itself.

If you’d rather give your partner the silent treatment or avoid them instead of trying to make up with them, chances are, your ego is the reason why both of you are drifting apart. Arguments are good for a relationship, but only if they’re used the right way!

#5 Emotional affairs.
You spend a lot of time at work. But somewhere along the way, have you started getting really close to a colleague or an old friend of yours *of the opposite sex*? Sometimes, you may never even realize it, but you may be confiding more to a friend than your own spouse or lover.

It may not seem like much now, but there’s a thin between friendship and emotional affairs. And if you’re in an emotional affair, you’re setting your relationship up for doom.

#6 Initiative.
In a successful relationship, both partners have to take an active interest in pleasing each other and making the other person happy. When you don’t take initiative in love, both of you may start to take each other for granted, and the relationship would start to stagnate.

Go out on vacations, plan crazy dates, tease each other and have fun. And most importantly, try to create memories every day. It’s the easiest way to take the initiative and show just how much you care.

#7 Life directions.
As time goes by, both of you may pursue different interests in life. One of you may want something, while the other lover may want something completely different. For a while, the relationship may still seem happy and perfect.

If you believe your relationship is perfect, even if both of you don’t go out or do anything new, while your partner believes they’re stuck in a suffocating rut, these are differences that can make both of you drift away to the point of no return.

#8 Confrontations.
Do you avoid confrontations? Many lovers avoid all kinds of confrontations all the time. They just put up with anything their partner says, and sulk about it behind their partner’s back. If you’re tired of fighting it or discussing anything sensitive with your partner, you’re probably tired of the relationship or have given up on its success already.

#9 intimate intimacy.
Sex is a very important part of romance and love. If you’re not having enough sex, or not trying hard enough to keep the intimate excitement on a high, you’d find yourself bored with your relationship in no time. You may think you’re content with the lack of intimate intimacy, but in reality, that’s because both of you are turning into siblings instead of a romantic couple!

#10 Emotional intimacy.
Do you still connect with your partner emotionally? Is your partner the first person you want to share good news with? Do you feel happy just talking to your lover or telling them about your day?

These are little things that don’t seem like much, but they play a big part in holding a relationship together. The lack of emotional intimacy in romance will force one or both of you into an emotional affair or at times, a intimate affair too.

#11 Lack of time for each other.
We work really hard these days. And at times, we don’t have more than an hour or two to spend with our lover, what with work and all the hanging out with friends. At first, both of you may miss each other.

But as the months pass by, both of you will learn to live without each other. And before either of you know it, both of you as individuals would be completely capable of leading your own lives without having the other person in it. And once neither of you have the need for the other person, it’s inevitable that both of you will drift away from each other.

#12 Buildup of resentments.
Do you ever feel like your partner’s not good enough for you? Disappointments that aren’t discussed always lead to resentments, and over time, these resentments accumulate and convince you that you’re unhappy in the relationship.

These resentments may be small and at times, even too silly to ever mention out loud, but they’d gnaw at you from the inside, and however hard your partner tries, you’d always feel like you’re stuck in a meaningless relationship when you could be so much happier with someone else. Learn to communicate with your lover, and talk about these resentments even if it seems awkward. After all, building these resentments will only force you to drift away from your lover even if they’re crazy about you.

http://www.lovepanky.com/love-couch/broken-heart/reasons-why-couples-drift-apart-over-time

1 Like

Re: Reasons Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time by Nobody: 4:56pm On Jul 10, 2013
*rolling eyes*
Re: Reasons Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time by taiyesoul: 4:56pm On Jul 10, 2013
Demain_man: Source pls? embarassed


Ask Google tongue

1 Like

Re: Reasons Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time by rhazur(m): 4:59pm On Jul 10, 2013
Nyc thread ops....2,11 and 12 finished my 2yrs relationship
Re: Reasons Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time by DailyNews(m): 4:59pm On Jul 10, 2013
effisyman: 13. Naija economic situation....no money, no food.
OMG!!!gringrin
Re: Reasons Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time by DailyNews(m): 5:01pm On Jul 10, 2013
obadiah777: YEAH RELATIONSHIP WAHALA. I HAVE ONE GOOD REASON >>> CHANGING BODY SHAPES. THE GUYS 6 PACK TURNS TO TUPAC. AND THE WOMANS CURVY YANSH TURNS TO A SACK OF POTATOES grin grin
My stomach ogringringringrin

2 Likes

Re: Reasons Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time by Nobody: 5:02pm On Jul 10, 2013
Ok. Will take note of all these in my next relationshipgrin
Re: Reasons Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time by Eneze1(f): 5:02pm On Jul 10, 2013
this is so on point
Re: Reasons Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time by alexy147(m): 5:02pm On Jul 10, 2013
#13. Lies and Fake lifestyle
Re: Reasons Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time by k2039(m): 5:06pm On Jul 10, 2013
Chillisauce:

You are a certified friend for quoting the whole post.

17 Likes

Re: Reasons Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time by xynerise(m): 5:06pm On Jul 10, 2013
Brea'st implant busted
Re: Reasons Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time by PStacks: 5:07pm On Jul 10, 2013
This is what one of the greatest men that ever stepped planet earth had to say about marriage..

“Marriage is but slavery made to appear civilized.”

—Albert Einstein --- Quoted by K. Wachsmann in M. Grüning, Ein Haus für Albert Einstein, 159


Every Slaves ultimate fight is fight for Freedom.


I don't know if I agree with Albert on this one tho, but most'a times I just love to reason with him with my own objections and reservations.

3 Likes

Re: Reasons Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time by Gombs(m): 5:10pm On Jul 10, 2013
#14
Amebo, Long throat and ...em...em....em
...too much nagging


...Relationships sha
Re: Reasons Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time by PStacks: 5:10pm On Jul 10, 2013
k2039:
You are a certified friend for quoting the whole post.
grin grin
Oh my god! grin abeg take am easy nao.. U and d guy get beef B4. I'm thinking the same thing u're thinking just b say I never hear d word 'friend' B4 grin

5 Likes

 
Re: Reasons Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time by Willgates: 5:10pm On Jul 10, 2013
Ada Nri1: onuku.

unam ikot
Re: Reasons Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time by kreamidiva(f): 5:13pm On Jul 10, 2013
I'm soo loving this! @ OP, Big ups to u
Re: Reasons Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time by PStacks: 5:13pm On Jul 10, 2013
obadiah777: YEAH RELATIONSHIP WAHALA. I HAVE ONE GOOD REASON >>> CHANGING BODY SHAPES. THE GUYS 6 PACK TURNS TO TUPAC. AND THE WOMANS CURVY YANSH TURNS TO A SACK OF POTATOES grin grin

grin grin at least Tupac even better, some people own na Amusement pack. grin grin

4 Likes

Re: Reasons Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time by AnOlAd: 5:14pm On Jul 10, 2013
Hmmmm Help us Lord..
Re: Reasons Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time by Goldie20: 5:19pm On Jul 10, 2013
distribute inc.:
so true...for real news updates,life tips and useful info on real estate and more visit www.distributenaija.blogspot.com


grin

2 Likes

Re: Reasons Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time by dabrake(m): 5:26pm On Jul 10, 2013
(13)when gold to dig don finish. romance without finance is a nuisance.

1 Like

Re: Reasons Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time by powerblaze(m): 5:27pm On Jul 10, 2013
THEY think the LOVE is great, just because the sexx was great... NOW they're used to the sexX, and they're stuck with wats left of him or her...
'I cant believe this is the man I married!'. IT was him all along dear.. U were just too lovestoned to see clearly.
'I should have married amaka. NKECHI has ruined my lifetime!' SAME girl you callED sweetheart, promised heaven n earth, displayed her with pride to your friends...

SEXX before marriage kills the desire n morale very quickly. SOME are even tired before they say I do! ...

IF your man loves you for who you are, he'll wait.
A breakdown of the 'bed' leads to chain reaction loads of other problems..

TIRED of typing jare!

15 Likes

Re: Reasons Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time by yuzedo: 5:28pm On Jul 10, 2013
welllll, if ur coleague is a reach gentle kind shy humble romantick tall and gaddem handsum sweet-looookin 6-park muscula, god feary, 18inch badonkey (9inch long 9inch wide) and banana iceland landlord like me, ur wive may drift away from u, truss me. wink

10 Likes

Re: Reasons Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time by powerblaze(m): 5:34pm On Jul 10, 2013
P.Stacks:
This is what one of the greatest men that ever stepped planet earth had to say about marriage..

“Marriage is but slavery made to appear civilized.”

—Albert Einstein --- Quoted by K. Wachsmann in M. Grüning, Ein Haus für Albert Einstein, 159


Every Slaves ultimate fight is fight for Freedom.


I don't know if I agree with Albert on this one tho, but most'a times I just love to reason with him with my own objections and reservations.

SCIENTISTS are a complete JOKE in the bedroom! ASK their ex-wives! cheesy

2 Likes

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