baby_123: lol, all your incoherent, mental lapses. Talking gibberish and insulting someone who gave an opinion when you had none makes you intelligent? You are alone in your planet. kai, discussing with a mad person is interesting. Very mind boggling. Where is that sholay's story again. This brings it to mind.

I've heard smarter things from a schizophrenic with Tourette's. You should try minding your damn business next time. Somebody was hurt about what happened and an insensitive being like you commented. In which i responded in like. Then you appeared with your alternate account on your own spree yet the comment was for EFe. You have issues and pls take it out on a therapist my dear. Now get over it and stop getting your panties in a twist.

totalbaby: I've heard smarter things from a schizophrenic with Tourette's. You should try minding your damn business next time. Somebody was hurt about what happened and an insensitive being like you commented. In which i responded in like. Then you appeared with your alternate account on your own spree yet the comment was for EFe. You have issues and pls take it out on a therapist my dear. Now get over it and stop getting your panties in a twist.

You are definitely living in another planet. You are mentally unsound. Cheers! No need going back and forth with a mad woman. Next time dont run into the market naked. Ask for a strait jacket and a mouth muffler. Cheers!

baby_123:

I am definitely living in another planet. I am mentally unsound. Cheers! No need going back and forth with a mad woman like me. Next time i will mind my own business and do what i do best by running into the market naked. Can i have a strait jacket and a mouth muffler. Cheers!

Am proud of you. First step is to acknowledge that you have a problem. Kudos to you

totalbaby: I've heard smarter things from a schizophrenic with Tourette's. You should try minding your damn business next time. Somebody was hurt about what happened and an insensitive being like you commented. In which i responded in like. Then you appeared with your alternate account on your own spree yet the comment was for EFe. You have issues and pls take it out on a therapist my dear. Now get over it and stop getting your panties in a twist.

Damn i did not know you had this in you. Remind me not to mess with you lol.

totalbaby: Am proud of you. First step is to acknowledge that you have a problem. Kudos to you

Good, you are learning, no matter how small. Though the previous post was quite juvenile at best. You can talk without insults and contribute without coming across like NL's resident lunatic. Be a leader not a follower. Because people are insulting doesnt mean you should. Now go back and read the whole thread with this new mental freedom.

waybaloo: didnt realise children used this forum

At least 85% of NLders are "teenagers". This is my own observation. I mean; look at all the arguments between those commenting . Someone else wahala is now their own hypertension.

peclint:

If you really want to save your marriage, you need to read the above , over and over.
No doubt, you have an immature husband, why continue with an argument when you know what the outcome is??
you would be what we call a passive aggressor.
You can't cry blue murder when u get an expected outcome , when you are the one who keeps making the mistakes.

Mistake 1 : you married someone you didn't know (Probably because he is handsome) after a long distance relationship
Mistake 2 : You know your husband knows you don't love him, why should he care, since he is going home to a lady that doesn't love him and without no doubt doesn't respect him
Mistake 3: An argument starts, you know the outcome if it escalates and you keep at it, then come back and say he has run away

Has it ever occurred to you that your husband grew up in a house with women bickering, fighting and nagging, and the best way he learnt to adapt to the situation was shutting down and staying away from these situations as much as possible, and due to this attitude displayed by women around him growing up, he would have preferred remaining single?

Now he is married, when you start doing one of these things he experienced growing up, his brain goes into flight mode and deploys the tactics he has always used since childhood

I deduce you have a bad tongue, and your posts seems to suggest you are a christian, you do know what the bible says of what a woman's tongue does to a household?

I for one can't handle arguments, so i tend to avoid them, but i certainly won't leave the house for you for days.
If a man feels comfortable in a home, he would always go back there.

If you want to make your marriage work, you have to start the process yourself, as you sound more matured than your husband.

You know the way we say a man needs to handle and manage their woman, you would need to manage your man. He has to learn that he can still sleep beside you after an argument, only you can show him that

Get your husband to the point he feels like you love him, and you support him and you guys are on the same team
this involves doing away with disrespectful words like " you are lazy"," i don't know why i married you" , instead start saying positive stuffs to him about your marriage and him.

Call sometimes, when he is out and say you and the kids miss him and put the kid on the phone to say hello daddy.
A simple sorry can solve a whole lot of mess. I do say sorry even when i know am right, when the other party strongly feels am wrong. It doesn't make me weak, it just fixes the problem, and many times after some days the other party finds out she was wrong and asks why i said sorry when i knew i was right, i just say i love you so much than to miss a moment with you because of a silly thing like that.

Many times your partner learns to say sorry too, this doesn't mean you might not come across an odd ball who would never apologize even after finding out they were wrong.

Change is not gonna happen overnight, but after a while you will start seeing changes.

Most times i see people opening up threads that are not about how to genuinely solve their issues, but to gauge how many are on their sides and support what they are doing or plan to do, they would sift through the thread and pick what affirms their actions

When something is broken, the natural way to fix it is by identifying what caused the break, what factors have been causing it to break, what are the possible solutions, you try different strategies to see if they could work, not planning an exit strategy.

As a christian, stop asking for solution to your problem from people who do not share the same christian values with you.
Read your bible, it tells you how to build your home and be a wife. Also pick up christian books on marriages.

Finally anyone reading this, forgive me for my long epistle

this is no hollywood movie. @ op,my advice to u would be to forget about the marriage because an immature man,will always be immature.this is the same thing that happened to my neighbour and @ d end of d day,she ended up taking care of 6 children while the man walked away to God knows where, only to reappear now that the children have all grown up.

iamsaved: I am extremely confused at this point as I need to plan my future and my kid(s) future.

We have been married for 4years now, blessed with a child and expecting the second. For weired and unexplained reasons, my hubby is fond of abandoning our home whenever we have mild to heavy misunderstanding. He first abandoned me 2weeks after wedding over a minor arguement, came back, 4months later after wedding, same thing for one month and finally when I was pregnant with our first child over a little misunderstanding but this time for a long time. Yes I know it sounds funny. We reconciled late last year after he came with his family to beg, my major reason of going back being cos of my child. Now am some months pregnant and he attempted to leave again last two weeks. It was his friend who stopped him from leaving. During the meeting held last, Hia friend asked him exactly the reason he keeps doing that, he said he just doesn't want wahala or stress.

This didn't start with me, he once said he ran away from home for 5years when he was in his early 20s cos his mum was telling him to o house chores.

I regret reconciling with him. If I wasn't pregnant, I know i would have walked out finally since its still the same thing happening all over again.
I am scared for my future and the future of my kids.

ARE U SURE DAT U ARE NOT THE CAUSE OF HIS RUNNING ABOUT? Are u the head of the family or he? Did u marry him or he married u? ARE U THE BREAD WINNER OR HIM? NB ..NO RESPONSIBLE MAN WILL LIKE A TROUBLE HOME AND A TROUBLE WIFE..IF U ARE THE BREAD WINNER AND CANT NT AVOID CAUSING PROBLEM TO HIM DAT MEANS HE IS NT SAFE. So ask urself questions ?

baby_123:

I see your point. No wonder she is so bitter with 50 monikers. She can relate. . Who wouldnt run from a mad woman who jumps out insulting people she doesnt know.


Please, dont paint me with a lunatics brush. Stick to the people that have been insulting someone for their opinion for over 5pages. Na wa o. power of likes. ROTFLMAO. NL local champion must be a real loser in life.

Obviously u called urself a lunatic, not me, cs i dont see anyplace in mine write-up that insulted u. Hope u have matured up

nwekesimon68: ARE U SURE DAT U ARE NOT THE CAUSE OF HIS RUNNING ABOUT? Are u the head of the family or he? Did u marry him or he married u? ARE U THE BREAD WINNER OR HIM? NB ..NO RESPONSIBLE MAN WILL LIKE A TROUBLE HOME AND A TROUBLE WIFE..IF U ARE THE BREAD WINNER AND CANT NT AVOID CAUSING PROBLEM TO HIM DAT MEANS HE IS NT SAFE. So ask urself questions ?

They married each other.

oraclefemi:

when someone comes online to ask for help , we shouldn't capitalise on it and act as if we know it all, judging instead of advising sucks to me .....she asked for advise and the first reply was to turn around and attack her..sometimes those who act or perceive their self to be wise are .....nothing but watery shyte

You too can still go for her.She is free now.Hahaha

Efemena_xy:

Stories like these make the MrBrownJays and their attitudes to pregnant women look acceptable.

@OP, why should you be having mild to heavy arguments with your spouse frequently? Sounds like you instigate them. Please explain 'heavy arguments'. Do you get violent? Throw things around? Do you have a sharp, caustic tongue that's quick to insult the hell out of the man??

You're pregnant. The least you can do is respect yourself and keep your mouth shut. Why must you have an argument with your husband? Pls don't give the excuse of being hormonal this and hormonal that! Aren't you aware of the complications that can arise from having a high bp, which can be induced from unnecessary arguments?

I'm sorry to say this, but your husband sounds like the more mature one here. Rather than entangle himself with a battle of words, he chooses to walk out of the situation till things cool down. Or what do you expect him to do? Sit down quietly while you heap insult upon insult upon his head? Do you even know what might happen if he snaps?

Or maybe, you really are one of those who has a fetish for violence and only feel loved if your husband plummets the living daylights out of you.

Sorry, but from what you've posted, I support your husband 100%. You on the other hand haven't learnt your lesson. If sitting down to discuss amicably, and keeping your mouth shut while he airs his grievances is too much for you to bear, then don't blame him the day he walks out on you for good... straight into the arms of a more accommodating missus.

Oh, and I need to ask this of you: Didn't you guys date at all before getting hitched? Didn't you study the man before tying the knot and saying "I do"?

You kidding, right..!!?? How in the hell would a man leave his wife for weeks at a time cos they had an arguement. When did running away from problem become the solution.. C'mon mehn, you've got issues, deal with it..!! As for the wife, try to find the root of your misunderstandings and resolve them and if he keeps at it abeg marriage is not a death sentence, if you've tried everything and it still doesn't work.. Leave.. Damm..!!

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