soledadd: @Bukatyne you have really shown a picture of yourself. You can be a reverend for all i care. I dont think you have an experience here. You are not into marriage to prove that you are a strong woman. But you entered because love exists between you two. It doesnt matter whether he said it before of after marriage. I started wearing trousers again because my hubby likes me in that. I was not under duress. I willingly acepted and it never made me feel belated. I am hapilly married and cannever have any regret being with my hubby. I will choose him more than a million times over. This issue is too trivial to cause a break up in marriage. A woman who wants complete love from a man will be ready to reciprocate by respecting your him .

Fhemmmy:

Ummmm . . . Just a question, you mean cos the woman loves the man and wanna keep her home together, she should just roll over and accept what the man says or vice versa? again, just a question

MostHigh:

Scoffer

soledadd: @Bukatyne you have really shown a picture of yourself. You can be a reverend for all i care. I dont think you have an experience here. You are not into marriage to prove that you are a strong woman. But you entered because love exists between you two. It doesnt matter whether he said it before of after marriage. I started wearing trousers again because my hubby likes me in that. I was not under duress. I willingly acepted and it never made me feel belated. I am hapilly married and cannever have any regret being with my hubby. I will choose him more than a million times over. This issue is too trivial to cause a break up in marriage. A woman who wants complete love from a man will be ready to reciprocate by respecting your him .

soledadd: @ bukatyne, its never your business to know why i stopped in the first place. There is an issue here you can say your mind and stop attacking people. Like you said i dont have conviction of my own, i and hubby delibrate on issues amicably and its working for us. You can as well share your own experience.

bukatyne:

The last I remembered, Marriage is built by both husband and wife. Sacrifice and compromise doesn't come from one party else there will be disappointment and bitterness. A lot of women are so bitter and caustic because all their lives they have sacrificed without getting anything in return.

Happiness is not necessarily getting what you want. Peace doesn't equate true joy either. If I were a slave, I can decide to do my master's bidding for peace to reign but I will never be truly happy

I said she doesn't have conviction because she wore trousers at her fiancée's insistence. I wonder what posters like Acidosis will say. Why did she stop in the first place?

A woman is NOT a zombie to follow her hubby brainlessly. If the hubby asked her to do something wrong, will she do it for peace to reign? Remember Ananias and Sapphira in The Bible. The first person to obey/respect is God.

My major problem is that the hubby was comfortable with it till after marriage. I dislike wicked people like that. He knows the woman is going no where and he starts saying don't do this, don't do that. What will he bring on tomorrow? And the woman keeps changing to satisfy him and when she becomes bitter, he will start complaining that she has changed.

biolabee: Interesting discourse

However I feel it's just an erroneous assumption to state that if I do something due to someone's persuasion I have no conviction

I decide to send my kid to a military school; my wife believes otherwise
The kid goes to altantic hall
Suddenly I have no conviction

If in your mind, discourse and compromise between married adults means that one party has no conviction then you can't have a realistic discussion on this issue; as to you, having an opinion and sticking obdurately to it is your test of conviction

bukatyne:

The 'no conviction' part was as regards the trousers; that is why it is a post script.

She said she stopped and later continued because the then fiancé said she should do so. She had no conviction to stop the trousers in the first place.

biolabee: That is why it is a marriage

You make compromises for strangers you meet everyday
Why not your spouse

If your point is a rejoinder that one should not lose his or her individuality that is good.
But if it's just to say making compromises is akin to lack of conviction well...

steveec122: Solution
1. Make her to grow fat
No trouser will fit her
though
she may decide to wear pant alone

filcast: hello nairalanders,.
I need to advise a friend urgently.He has been married to his wife for about 1 year and recenty requested the wife to stop wearing trouser,except for sport activitiess.His reason is that both their families belong to religious faiths that view a female wearing trouser as immoral.This request however has not gone down well with the wife as become unhappy and bitter.she faulted the husband for not raising the issue during courtship as she is already used to wearing trousers. Pls advise this young man on how to handle this to save the union some stress.Does my friend have the right to demand this of his wife.

bukatyne:

Madam, once again, this thread is not about us.

I don't do e-issues or e-fights. And with what have I been attacking people in the first place?

You and hubby deliberate on issues and another person's hubby is forcing her to stop something he knew very well she was doing and you are comparing apples and oranges.

Ok, to humor you, let me share my 'experience'

All through my university days, I was on trousers and we usually wear matching trousers to school then. After school, God told me to stop wearing trousers.

I did not say it was God's command and kept mute. I told him and had to convince him too. Initially, he didn't like it but I told him I was not going back and that we will buy nice skirts and we could still do our matching colors .

What is the point of my narrative? It would be wicked of me if I just stopped or told him for information purpose that status has changed or worse still waited until after marriage to 'spring' up the surprise since he's going 'no where'. Afteral, as a Christian, he cannot 'divorce' me because of trousers; anybody he tells will even support me since I want to drop a 'sinful' thing. This is usually the problem in marriages; during courtship, we accept the man/woman as he or she is and 'worship' the ground they walk on. After marriage, we then want to bend them to suit ourselves because 'they are no longer going anywhere'. We know they cannot divorce because our religion and society doesn't support it and we then begin to wonder why our spouse has 'changed' My fiancé liked to keep late nights or hang out with the boys and I never complained; suddenly because I am now his Mrs, I want him to come back home to me every night after work. Like seriously?

If the man received the 'revelation' after marriage, he ought to sell it in a way the wife feels loved and cherished. There could also be some things in his life that needs changing and it would be ideal he works on them first. When the wife notice the changes (either subtle or outright), she would feel convinced and try to adjust too.

bukatyne:

..... After school, God TOLD ME to stop wearing trousers.....

ONE YEAR AFTER!

Bukatyne on fire

ochallo: If she was wearing trousers when he met her and is now saying otherwise, then he is simply wicked. Your wife is not your child that you can simply lord anything or everything over, that is why marriages become bitter , because african husbands are so different from african boyfriends amd fiances. During courtship, she can do no wrong, then during marriage, you start comparing her to some other person and start bringing up selfish and self centered laws to make you look better. Let her be, if he wants her to change, he should simply pray about it and advise her , not lord it over her.


This kind of man falls among the kind of men to never marry, here is a list of others.

http://www.elijahforce..com/2013/01/8-men-you-should-never-marry.html

ayztech:

How did you hear that from God?

Is wearing trouser bad?

bukatyne:

Through a dream

ayztech:

OK. Just curious

Thanks & nice sunday