As i write to you i am still shivering from the shock i encountered when i saw my child hood bully working as a Security Gate man for a cake shop.
not to make fun of him or anything, in fact i think by the time i can gather some courage to speak. i will like to offer him a better career opportunity because i just learnt from someone who studied at LASU with him that he's been on the job for 8 years now.

it Was just a fine afternoon and i was driving along the express way and right there he waved his hand to stop my vehicle in order to direct the cars leaving the shop premises, for a minute there ,i thought -it couldn't be him because he was all dressed in the security outfit with the hat and all so it took me a while to recognize him,and when i did . i had to find a way to hide my face with something - my sun glasses, the flap thing on the roof of the car.But it was no use because i figured he'd already seen me.All through the time i drove back home i was in such fear and shock (i had to pull over and calm my self down) which i can not explain.

As a child ,in my adolescent/ early teenage years, this guy bullied me so much that both parents (mine and his) in the neighbourhood had to get involved. And that was when he almost killed me ... One time he put some hair relaxer he got from his mom's salon in a cup and pretended it was ice cream and made me take it...you can imagine what happened next.My parents had to do some self medication to get me to throw up.
i can not begin to count how many of such incidents like that ,and i think that was why i was in shock when after many years i bumped in to him .

i dont know if i should feel sad,bad, or happy for him because it wasn't just me , he bullied everyone ,cursed and fought with everyone and talked ill of other neighbours and their families.Everyone said it was because his family was one of the wealthiest in the neighbourhood and he was just basically taking a pisss.

Any ways i had to come here and let off some steam and calm myself down by narrating this and finding out if this feeling is normal.

i've read a lot about Bullying to know that its really bad and why it sometimes leads to suicide even after many years. Kids dont forget such things easily ,and as such ,looking at that face can sometimes bring back horrible memories they dont ever want to remember.

Guess he finally entered the profession that suits him.
meanwhile, if you are in position to help, please do.

Wow

My case no reach this own

I say hi when I can
I give dem what I can afford

I move on

If you can help; help

Sorry ... Wow

He was a real son of a bish

My sister I wish I could see him again but unfortunately his dead...He died after completing is Law School....Is death made me really miss him cuz he had a promising career.....The brother while we were in primary school showed me pepe. But that his torture made me strong physically and mentally I thank his soul for that.

Connoisseur: Guess he finally entered the profession that suits him.
meanwhile, if you are in position to help, please do.

wow....you're right ,i never really thought it that way.

@Cholls
Sad. i hope he was a changed person before he died. Yes some times such things can have that sort of effect on the person and either make or mar you.

@biolabee
will try and see how i can help him...'cos i also learnt he lost his dad and this was after his mom left their dad and the kids and relocated to the US.

After reading all your replies,Now i feel really sad for him...

Sorry ma... i really feel u

Do you know that some people i know still suffer some trauma from their episodes in school esp secondary

Some become so agrressive, others had no self esteem up till they started working and making money, others bully others around them....

Bullying is so wrong and should not be encouraged at all in any form

biolabee: Sorry ma... i really feel u

Do you know that some people i know still suffer some trauma from their episodes in school esp secondary

Some become so agrressive, others had no self esteem up till they started working and making money, others bully others around them....

Bullying is so wrong and should not be encouraged at all in any form

You are so right....The effect it has on a child even when they are all grown up is really deadly...like i said may even lead to suicide.

As soon as i saw him, i felt my heart pacing and racing faster, my fingers were trembling on the wheel, i was shaking (never felt like that before over something like that) i didn't know what happened to me . I knew it didn't feel normal...

i didnt know if it was that fear i had for him as a child that came all over me again.Just couldn't explain it.

i spoke to another child hood friend of ours (who went to the same uni with him)abt the whole incident and after listening to what he said about the guy and what later happened to him and his family , that was when i became calm.

My God ,now i know why this makes people suicidal.

Lol i saw my secondary school bully years back when i went to school to collect my call up letter,she was standing under a tree and i wanted to park but i didnt notice her,my mind was just to park,hit the bursary,collect what i have to and zoom of.she came to knock by the window of my car andwas like shewa greet me na or are you still fighting with me.as i was about getting down,i was shocked to see her because she was the last person on my mind.i sha hugged her but the hugging was a pretentious one because it wasnt from my mind i was like seyi long time.sorry i saw you but didnt pay attention,i didnt even know it was you,while she was talking,she looked so small and fragile to me because i was way taller than her.in my mind i was like is it this rat that was bullying me in secondary school because i looked small then.i just laughed at myself and memories started comming about how she will take the miney my parents gave me and beat me on top of it.when i protest she will ask me to kneel down under the sun and carry block.i used to resent her a lot.lol.

Connoisseur: Guess he finally entered the profession that suits him.
meanwhile, if you are in position to help, please do.

biolabee: Wow

My case no reach this own

I say hi when I can
I give dem what I can afford

I move on

If you can help; help

Sorry ... Wow

He was a real son of a bish

uzoo:

wow....you're right ,i never really thought it that way.

@Cholls
Sad. i hope he was a changed person before he died. Yes some times such things can have that sort of effect on the person and either make or mar you.

@biolabee
will try and see how i can help him...'cos i also learnt he lost his dad and this was after his mom left their dad and the kids and relocated to the US.

After reading all your replies,Now i feel really sad for him...

Sorry, I don't get you folks.

Why would anyone of you, having been bullied in your early, formative years by an insecure person (bully), now decide in your adult years to help the bully out? Did the bully solicit for help from any of you? You're talking about people who terrified you at one point in your life, probably took your money off you in addition to punishing you on top of all that. Yes, that bully had a hold over you THEN. But you've moved on in life, done better for yourselves, so what makes you think you still owe these bullies anything apart from scorn, if you don't mind my saying so?

Giving out more stuff or trying to 'help' these people, even when they never asked for it, shows they've still got that mental hold over you.

My suggestion would be, when you see such people later on in life, rather than skip around the issue or pretend nothing happened (like Kulyie's done - imagine, hugging a person who terrified her during her school days??), just be forthright and ask them straight on: WHY DID YOU DO IT? WHY ME?? And then hear what he / she has got to say for themselves.

We all agree bullying or picking on someone whose weaker (physically or mentally) than you can have far reaching and even dire consequences. If you really, really want to get closure on that chapter of your life once and for all, then it's best to take the bull by the horns and deal with it face-to-face, head on. No pu.$$.y footing around by skirting / trying to avoid the person. It won't change what happened. But you can make damn sure you feel better about yourself by asking them why they did what they did and showing them that you're now stronger and better off than them. Face them like the adults you now are and put an end to the matter for good!

If after having the direct confrontation with the bully and you still decide you want to help them, then by all means do so. But not before you've confronted them.

He used to bully me in Primary school because I was all these ajebutter skinny boys and he was like 3yrs older had already repeated some classes, He was brought from a public school so he was very rugged.

I saw him around 2000, I was taller than him, he used to be taller than me then but in 2000 I was way taller. I just greeted him and was shocked to see him there.

He now told everyone around that I was the sharpest boy in school then. We just cracked a few jokes and everyone moved on. No exchange of details.

bullies come in different forms, classmates, older cousins or brodas or even uncles
You just have to move

What use is confronting when u are obviously better off than them
Why hit a grone man who is already down.....

Thats not cool

My 2

Efemena_xy:






Sorry, I don't get you folks.

Why would anyone of you, having been bullied in your early, formative years by an insecure person (bully), now decide in your adult years to help the bully out? Did the bully solicit for help from any of you? You're talking about people who terrified you at one point in your life, probably took your money off you in addition to punishing you on top of all that. Yes, that bully had a hold over you THEN. But you've moved on in life, done better for yourselves, so what makes you think you still owe these bullies anything apart from scorn, if you don't mind my saying so?

Giving out more stuff or trying to 'help' these people, even when they never asked for it, shows they've still got that mental hold over you.

My suggestion would be, when you see such people later on in life, rather than skip around the issue or pretend nothing happened (like Kulyie's done - imagine, hugging a person who terrified her during her school days??), just be forthright and ask them straight on: WHY DID YOU DO IT? WHY ME?? And then hear what he / she has got to say for themselves.

We all agree bullying or picking on someone whose weaker (physically or mentally) than you can have far reaching and even dire consequences. If you really, really want to get closure on that chapter of your life once and for all, then it's best to take the bull by the horns and deal with it face-to-face, head on. No pu.$$.y footing around by skirting / trying to avoid the person. It won't change what happened. But you can make damn sure you feel better about yourself by asking them why they did what they did and showing them that you're now stronger and better off than them. Face them like the adults you now are and put an end to the matter for good!

If after having the direct confrontation with the bully and you still decide you want to help them, then by all means do so. But not before you've confronted them.

^^ Even so, no harm in asking them why they did it, irrespective of whether they're down on their luck or high flying achievers.

I was never really bullied. I didn't give anyone the chance to cos me dey ready to fight till eternity. No parents involved, me na confirmed ajekpako. We dey fight our battles dey go jare. I always had this believe that if back down to a bully today, he/she would come again tomorrow.

I still remember how a gang of boys planned to take me out in my SSS 1 cos I was a newbie and I took the 1st position from someone who thought it was his birth right. It was crazy! And they got what they wanted, mouth full. I don't even know where the guy is now.

Well, I did beat the hell outta some guys; cousins, class mates, etc and now we are all grown and we are doing well. We still joke about it sometimes tho, nothing really serious.

OP, please don't look back. Leave him alone and don't wake up past memories.
Bullying someone by making fun is different from trying to poison someone (he tried to poison you).
You never know, he might try to hurt you again.
I know you might have that feeling of "look at me today, better off than you" deep in your subconscious.
Don't be the first to contact him.

Efemena_xy: ^^ Even so, no harm in asking them why they did it, irrespective of whether they're down on their luck or high flying achievers.

to be honest , its safer not to ask WHY HE DID ALL THAT because its even worse when you get a Nasty reply from him showing he isn't the slightest bit remorseful of his past.

As for trying to help in any way i can ,i think that should be a big message to him that i've moved on and now the ''bigger man''. Meaning that,that should make him feel apologetic and have no choice but to apologize,and who knows probably make him open up to me by explaining why he behaved badly to me those years.

Childhood bully?? Nah....had many older ones around.

Deleted

I hope she does not use the peper cane on the brickla

Oooo

Choi na wa for these arse wipes

@efexyz you sure say no be you be the erm.. Erm.. Monitor about town

OP, the guy really traumatized u. Next tiime, go with some area boys and deal with him. There is no forgiveness in this. Someone tried to kill you.

Since u are in naija, this is the best solution.

For me, i got big bros that alWays fight my war. My own is to find the trouble then i take off.

biolabee: I hope she does not use the peper cane on the brickla

Oooo

Choi na wa for these arse wipes

@efexyz you sure say no be you be the erm.. Erm.. Monitor about town

Nah, no way.

Never gave bullies the chance to get one over me because let's just say I was always the smart politician in school plus I would have given Ben Johnson a run for his money.

Not only was I the teacher's pet, I was also the very scary and strict headmaster's favoured pupil. I mean, check this out: pupils dreaded that man, but me? Ha! Loved spending my break in his office with the door to the playground wide open. This sent a very clear message to the whole primary school that I, Efe, was untouchable. Nor try my Warri sense jare.

On the few occasions that confrontation was 'inevitable', na to pick race immediately after school and head home jare. Afterall, my skin too fine for yama-yama bruises.

Nice coping skills.. astute to boot

Efemena_xy:

Nah, no way.

Never gave bullies the chance to get one over me because let's just say I was always the smart politician in school plus I would have given Ben Johnson a run for his money.

Not only was I the teacher's pet, I was also the very scary and strict headmaster's favoured pupil. I mean, check this out: pupils dreaded that man, but me? Ha! Loved spending my break in his office with the door to the playground wide open. This sent a very clear message to the whole primary school that I, Efe, was untouchable. Nor try my Warri sense jare.

On the few occasions that confrontation was 'inevitable', na to pick race immediately after school and head home jare. Afterall, my skin too fine for yama-yama bruises.