naijababe:
Unless the administrators and directors of such programmes are pot-bellied chiefs with tobacoo stained teeth, which I am most certain they are not! Talk another one coogar

have you actually tried seeking for jobs in nigeria? you would cringe.

naijababe:

Same reason why a guy who's well advanced in his career can shift and come to the UK to test the waters. Some of y'all are talking as if Nigeria is Somalia, abeg! There are loads of UNESCO, ILO, UN, WHO sponsored gigs in naija that she can gets hands dirty with. Seek and ye shall surely find jo!

Tell them oh! Abi no be same unstoppable Naija we dey talk? Anyways it's levels.

coogar:

have you actually tried seeking for jobs in nigeria? you would cringe.

For the kinda gig she'd be looking for I am sure it would be very different! Like I said, she should be looking for gigs sponsored by international bodies I mentioned earlier

naijababe:
For the kinda gig she'd be looking for I am sure it would be very different! Like I said, she should be looking for gigs sponsored by international bodies I mentioned earlier

there are 7 million chics like her doing that already. she could be in naija for 8 years trying such jobs without success. nigeria is an animal kingdom when it comes to employment. written notes from the high & mighty is the currency, not CVs or work experience.

coogar:

there are 7 million chics like her doing that already. she could be in naija for 8 years trying such jobs without success. nigeria is an animal kingdom when it comes to employment. written notes from the high & mighty is the currency, not CVs or work experience.

Okay now! Shebi her hubby get correct network, she should try using that too

Efemena_xy:

That's it!

I've had enough!

I'm soooo going in my STS 133 Discovery shuttle rocket on a well deserved trip to the moon. More sanity there...

The STS 133 Discovery??!!

Whoa! You got yours already??!

I never get the good stuff before it exists.

Gah! I am soooo firing my people!

They don't do jackshite for me and I pay them by the nanosecond.

naijababe:

Okay now! Shebi her hubby get correct network, she should try using that too

That's the irony. The guy's network might not be in that direction, i.e. he might be a banker or working in another MNC, and might not have any relationships with those aid agencies/NGOs. So she might have to expand her options if she comes to Naija. Not easy, but definitely do-able.

Therein lies the challenge. Personally I don't think it is practical for a couple to assume that their career aspirations will always be compatible or complementary, all of the time. Compromises will have to be made either way, and there must be a definite exit point. But there has to be a will, and commitment on both sides. Else frustration will set in.

No one wants to see life pass them by. Please don't hold people down on some naive promises they made in the past now that they are miserable and unhappy with them. Only God can be good all the time. Word stops being your bond when the alternative is a future that seems long and depressing

It is a difficult decision but she has to be the one doing the compromising, simply because the man has done his bits for four years. Who is to say she won't love it!

The man may have gone behind her back because she may have not brooked any discussion on the issue for a while
So in his mind.. he went for broke
Either way she will not like it

Maybe he was even tired after 4 years
This may have been on since year 2


Ps .... ngo jobs are the easiest in naija
Dfid, usaid all have gigs here

Been on the road all day doing maid, driver, nanny work hen see why I wont mind packing it in for oga madam in owners corner (p.s all these are jokes but really having money in Naija sweet o)

Both got married in their 30's so both well established in their various countries of abode before getting together.I think they met through mutual friends (you know all this my friend is looking for a wife runs).He worked in BAT back in naija and I cant say for sure why he was the one who chose to relocate.But as some posters have said the only constant thing in life is change.I dont even think he wants her to just up and go back to naija.As I said madam is very very strong willed and is very vocal about her not wanting to live in Nigeria. My husband sometimes also comes out with the its not all about money line when you talk of living in Nigeria which is why I kinda understand him not telling her about the job.It was not right for him to do so but knowing
her she would have shot down the idea immediately.

I still dont agree with the fact that him going to live in Nigeria equals infidelity. I wonder why infidelity does not crop up when he applies to jobs in Holland or Dubai.

Oh well its their marriage so they are the best people to work it out.

Ujujoan: That's what worries me . . . he knew all these before agreeing to relocate.

He should have thought of this before agreeing to those terms.

He should have known jobs weren't lying around it the UK waiting for him.

He relocated maybe several years ago when jobs were much available before the recession

damiso:
I still dont agree with the fact that him going to live in Nigeria equals infidelity. I wonder why infidelity does not crop up when he applies to jobs in Holland or Dubai.

Oh well its their marriage so they are the best people to work it out.

because infidelity in dubai = prison!

biolabee: The man may have gone behind her back because she may have not brooked any discussion on the issue for a while
So in his mind.. he went for broke
Either way she will not like it

Maybe he was even tired after 4 years
This may have been on since year 2


Ps .... ngo jobs are the easiest in naija
Dfid, usaid all have gigs here

you need pat the belle of chief with tobacco stained teeth according to coogar

coogar:

because infidelity in dubai = prison!

Biggest lie ever

naijababe:
Biggest lie ever

try it & let's see where it would land you....

coogar:

because infidelity in dubai = prison!

Ok holland nko? :PAbegi a guy that will cheat willl cheat.Its even easier for a jobless guy who happens to find a sympathetic ear while his wife is out trying to save the world.

Agreed, Lagos girls no easy but you gotta learn to trust your man.Why is he not paranoid about her needing a bed warmer on those cold winter nights cos we seem to be forgetting infidelity can work both ways.

As for infidelity in Dubai, Coogar forget that thing o.Dubai is a choice destination for away matches if you know what I mean.

People should learn to put their family first, above money. In this situation, the happiness of his wife and children should come first.
If your family is happy in the UK and wifey is making enough money for the family with you bringing something to the table with the little job you do while looking for a more steady job, why jeopardize your family life?
Why can't he be stay at home dad till something comes up?
I see the joneses at work.

damiso:
Ok holland nko? :PAbegi a guy that will cheat willl cheat.Its even easier for a jobless guy who happens to find a sympathetic ear while his wife is out trying to save the world.

he's in the UK. infidelity here would make him miserable if his wife decides to take the matter up.

Agreed, Lagos girls no easy but you gotta learn to trust your man.Why is he not paranoid about her needing a bed warmer on those cold winter nights cos we seem to be forgetting infidelity can work both ways.

lagos girls use spiritual powers or juju - by the time they deal with him in naija, his eyes would clear.

As for infidelity in Dubai, Coogar forget that thing o.Dubai is a choice destination for away matches if you know what I mean.

i don't know what you mean o ..... the few times i went to dubai, i behaved myself. dubai as choice destination is for married couple o. if the hotel staff get a sniff the couple are not married, they could bring the cops in.

AjanleKoko:

It would be interesting to hear what you would have done were you in the fellow's shoes.
I mean, leaving your comfort zone, where you have all your contacts and can get stuff done, and moving to a place that you find personally challenging, and can't seem to catch a break.

Contrary to what many people think, leaving a comfortable life in the West to move back to Nigeria is an easier decision to make than the converse, i.e. relocating from Nigeria to move to the West. In the first instance, it's simply a matter of money. With the right amounts, the inconveniences and other fallouts can be reasonably-managed. Not to talk of the fact that it is your country after all.

In the other, achieving some level of personal stability and social acceptance, as well as having to grapple with a totally different value system can be extremely stressful. It would take some strong sense of purpose and personal commitment to maintain any level of motivation. Imagine someone with a very good comfortable job in Nigeria, and a relatively senior position, now having to work as a customer service person at Home Depot in Toronto. That's quite a signficant status drop.

If I was in his shoes, I'd have a clear exit plan, precisely for the reasons you've stated, and agreed upfront with madam. I know a number of people who have precisely done that, but guess what? It was always an option from the start.

No one said it was easy, and furthermore we're talking about 4 years ago - after the recession hit. If it was in the rosy days say in 2004 he could be excused, but a grown man able to build a house in Naija? No back up plans? even folk going to do Masters think through their moves better than this. Simply put, he's trying to railroad the woman into returning. That's the issue. In typical Naija man style the wife should just swallow it.

I'm not saying he shouldn't move back, but it must be a joint decision to avoid undue conflict in the marriage.

coogar:

he's in the UK. infidelity here would make him miserable if his wife decides to take the matter up.



lagos girls use spiritual powers or juju - by the time they deal with him in naija, his eyes would clear.



i don't know what you mean o ..... the few times i went to dubai, i behaved myself. dubai as choice destination is for married couple o. if the hotel staff get a sniff the couple are not married, they could bring the cops in.

Same Dubai abi another one?! Abeg leave story, Dubai is a choice destination for away games and you can take that to the bank

Anyone against the husband moving back to Naija to take this job is not a nice person.
If you've ever been jobless for a little while in your life especially as a family man,you'll understand this man's plight better. I do.
Life in Nigeria is not as bad as a lot of diasporeans think it is if the income is good and if the new job is as good as it sounds, the man should move back here and alternate as much as possible until the wife is ready to choose what matters most to her.

Fine,they had an agreement but who says those can't be broken and other compromises reached if situations are not so favourable?

biolabee:

And this is the issue, it seems to have been not thought through wella..

He has seen thre light now so should he stay out because of an agreement that is causing pain for him

No - you act like a man and discuss those issues - you don't go sneaking behind your wife's back like a timid little boy.

He has networks, roots and wants to be shuttling to london .. why is the lady against it

I know so many senior broses doing this... london near sef

Others get family for US n canada and are coping.. not ideal but coping

Because not everyone wants to 'shuttle' or live as a virtual single mum for months on end. Let's get serious here - how many of your senior broses don't have assistant madams keeping their beds warm in Naija?

And as for coping, I'm sure those living in face me I face you too are coping not so?

Relocating is a potentially life changing situation - it needs to be thought out and meet the family's needs, not just his ego. Nigeria might eventually be the best option, but it is not necessarily so.

naijababe:
Same Dubai abi another one?! Abeg leave story, Dubai is a choice destination for away games and you can take that to the bank

what is an away game?

dayokanu:

He relocated maybe several years ago when jobs were much available before the recession

Bros it was 4 years ago - recession hit in 2008!

biolabee: The man may have gone behind her back because she may have not brooked any discussion on the issue for a while
So in his mind.. he went for broke
Either way she will not like it

A man that is too scared to discuss a life decision with his wife? He should return his manhood to God and stop messing around. That is how he will marry another woman in Naija behind her back because she wont broom discussion.

debosky:

No - you act like a man and discuss those issues - you don't go sneaking behind your wife's back like a timid little boy.



Because not everyone wants to 'shuttle' or live as a virtual single mum for months on end. Let's get serious here - how many of your senior broses don't have assistant madams keeping their beds warm in Naija?

And as for coping, I'm sure those living in face me I face you too are coping not so?

Relocating is a potentially life changing situation - it needs to be thought out and meet the family's needs, not just his ego. Nigeria might eventually be the best option, but it is not necessarily so.

He may have broached this issue before but madam no gree n not pursued further as there was no job
When the runz gel... he is now ready for the matter

Hence the wahala...

Relocation is tough though

naijababe:


you need pat the belle of chief with tobacco stained teeth according to coogar

But serious there are so many ngo jobs in naija esp in fct

biolabee:

But serious there are so many ngo jobs in naija esp in fct

I know now, it is Coogar you have to convince not me

coogar:

what is an away game?

Now you are just trolling , I don't know. Ask damiso

biolabee:

He may have broached this issue before but madam no gree n not pursued further as there was no job
When the runz gel... he is now ready for the matter

Hence the wahala...

Relocation is tough though

Ol boy these are weak excuses. If you know your wife is so vocal/determined, you find ways to bring her round, not ambushing her in a way that gets her back up. You look for ways to sweeten the move back, not antagonising her. What you definitely don't do is make it appear you are keeping secrets, especially when she's worried about red-eyed Lagos girls on rampage.

debosky:

Ol boy these are weak excuses. If you know your wife is so vocal/determined, you find ways to bring her round, not ambushing her in a way that gets her back up. You look for ways to sweeten the move back, not antagonising her. What you definitely don't do is make it appear you are keeping secrets, especially when she's worried about red-eyed Lagos girls on rampage.

The sharp lag girls have even warned her here sef LOL
madam hold ur man or ...
Its not easy leaving a life you've been used to
Adaptability decreases the older u become

damiso:
Both got married in their 30's so both well established in their various countries of abode before getting together.I think they met through mutual friends (you know all this my friend is looking for a wife runs).He worked in BAT back in naija and I cant say for sure why he was the one who chose to relocate.But as some posters have said the only constant thing in life is change.I dont even think he wants her to just up and go back to naija.As I said madam is very very strong willed and is very vocal about her not wanting to live in Nigeria.

Even more painful that the guy is already around 40. At 40 a man should be established and should not be going around begging for small jobs. In another 10 years he will be nearing retirement. You need to tell the wife that either way they are not going to have a happy marriage if the guys remains in the UK without a job. If she understands that what they have right now will not lead to a happy marriage she will start to think about other options.

The best option is for the guy to go to 9ja and she remains in the UK if she hates 9ja that much. I do not see so much a big deal about infidelity. They just need to plan several trips thats it. The guys has compromised a bit, dont know why the girl must always have her way!

slimyem: Anyone against the husband moving back to Naija to take this job is not a nice person.
If you've ever been jobless for a little while in your life especially as a family man,you'll understand this man's plight better. I do.
Life in Nigeria is not as bad as a lot of diasporeans think it is if the income is good and if the new job is as good as it sounds, the man should move back here and alternate as much as possible until the wife is ready to choose what matters most to her.

Fine,they had an agreement but who says those can't be broken and other compromises reached if situations are not so favourable?

I'm forever yours,my love. Your wish is my command.

slimyem: Anyone against the husband moving back to Naija to take this job is not a nice person.
If you've ever been jobless for a little while in your life especially as a family man,you'll understand this man's plight better. I do.
Life in Nigeria is not as bad as a lot of diasporeans think it is if the income is good and if the new job is as good as it sounds, the man should move back here and alternate as much as possible until the wife is ready to choose what matters most to her.

People just like to cry over spilled milk = the broad difference between Nigerians and the westerners,

it has happened, Lets Talk about it and reach a compromise on what the next step is gonna be.

Rather than brouhaha he shoulda woulda told her yen yen yen nooosense.

Fine,they had an agreement but who says those can't be broken and other compromises reached if situations are not so favourable?

^^^ Hence people CHANGE...... his brain has been triggered , he's DONE living from hand to mouth dammit

She should get over herself ( Gosh I hope she's reading this) , it's not gonna be her way for eternity!!