Plz fellow forumites...there's dis lady I met in my PPA where I serve...we've been working together for some months now...we fund of each other,I like her so much and I fink she likes me too...even @ work she's always talking to me,hold my hands and stuffs like dat...@ break time we always together and pple fink we already dating...I told her abt my ex how she broke my heart and she encouraged me to move on wit my life...she also gave me indications dat she's single though she said she's dating a guy she never said yes to for abt 7 yrs but she don't love him and she's broken up wit d guy several times and dis guy keeps coming to beg her and they always fix fins up and all...I realise my feelins for dis girl become stronger day by day and one day I took a bold step to ask her out on BB cuz I couldn't even face her to tell her cuz of d unknowns....but her response was shocking...she said she's surprised am asking her out cuz she wasn't xpecting it from me and all...she said she only want to take me as a friend,a very gud one she can confide in,a best friend and all...I was so disappointed in myself....I really really like dis girl and she told me she likes me too but she doesn't want to date me even if she's not into any committed relationship....after all said and done she still won't stop talking to me,looking into my eyes,calling me on fone,come to my house,cuddle me up wit hugs and all....she said she doesn't want to break my heart dat she can't just opt out of d relationship she's into cuz d guy hasn't done anyfin wrong to her even if she doesn't really like d guy....plz I need ur advice...is she hiding her feelings for me or she just want us to be friends....cuz I fink my relationship wit her @ d moment is more than just friends....do u fink she will agree to date me wit time if I cool down or should I just forget abt her and don't remind her of my proposal?plz I await ur response....its urgent...fanx alot

alright. Would give my advise before nightfall.

why must you chase one pusssy for long...try other pusssys..distance yourself from her alittle...blv me,she will be the one asking you out####goodluck

Op I think you should appreciate her as a friend and remain just friends.

Arosa: Op I think you should appreciate her as a friend and remain just friends.

fanx arosa...but d prob here is dat our friendship is more than been friends...or how do u want to define a friendship dat allows pecking,cuddling wit hugs and looking straight into each other's eyes....a friendship dat could lead to somfin else when both of us are alone which we both know as well...I guess dats why she refused to go out on a date wit me cuz she knows somfin silly could happen....arosa u can easily tell when someone deeply likes u...

EneGodd: why must you chase one pusssy for long...try other pusssys..distance yourself from her alittle...blv me,she will be the one asking you out####goodluck

fanx for ur response....remember she's got a guy who she said she doesn't really love but she can't leave him now cuz he hasn't done anyfin to hurt her so she's playing it cool wit him....even when I asked her if she really love dat guy but she said no dat she doesn't love him but dat she likes him cuz he's been very very good to her and no guy has ever done wat d guy has done for her and she knows d guy loves her so much...she even adviced me to try some other ladies out and all but I told her its she I want and no one else.....I guess she just told me dat to see if I will quit so easily...Yet d likeness she has for me keeps getting stronger dat am left confused....

idnoble135: alright. Would give my advise before nightfall.

aiit...fanx alot...I waite ur advice...

She takes u as juz a friend, try and accept dat. There are so many fishes in d sea

daisyella: She takes u as juz a friend, try and accept dat. There are so many fishes in d sea

fanx alot daisyella...uve just told me d bitter truth...but how can I just take her as a friend when I still have feelings for her?....let's just assume ave agreed to take her as a friend,don't u fink am still gonna be feeling intimate wit her?

like daisyella said, she takes you as a friend. And thats it.
You have a platonic relationship. You are her friend. You should have made your intentions known earlier to her.
And i dont know why, most ladies prefer not to date their friends. Very few argue and believe that, their friend can step up to become their date. Obvious that she is in the first category.
So brace up man. There are a thousand fishes in the river. And its better to have an unreturned love than to love and get cheated on or jilted.

@ op
d girl is trying to eat her cake and have,she might not be trying to deliberately bt dats d end point, i can reason from ur post dat u r in d same ppa, dats probably d first strike u av against u*proximity*, she mite feel if thinz crash ,it wont make for a good work environment,and secondly d moment u guys go official, colleagues will really start speculating about ur relatnship,some ppl cant stand that,thirdshe mite av a bf elsewhere(some women av to a have a bf(handbag)everywhere dey go) and still want u, but if she goes official wit u ,u will become more demanding and it mite leak to her bf.
Or finally, she mite just be playing hard to get.

If u r not d type to dwell on tinz, i suggest u give her sometime, a week or two, den request to speak to her, just come out and say, "babe i really dig u (and if see urselves longterm u mite add that(or lie)), but i amnot getting any younger and if u say no today, i will accept it as ur final word and move on ".
U can also tell her or know in ur own mind dat all dose PDAs, illegal visiting and cuddling will stop because she is indirectly cock-blocking u, no other gal around will take u serzly if u guyz continue dat way, i know i wuldnt.
There are two tinz involved she will either shape up and say yes/lemme think or a final no. But at least u'll stop teasing u.

#end of d epistle..lol#

Friend zone is where you are
Why do you guys always come here talking about your feelings for another mans woman? She said no when you asked right? What more do you want?
She hugs you and you peck her cheeks and look in each others eyes... So what?
You thought you had a chance and she shut you down now get some dignity and find another woman for yourself. I know shutting off your feelings for her will be tough but just be her friend and don't make it weird

if I were in ur shoes I wld try to make her jealous,maybe get really close to another lady dat she knows of,i bet u are reaction wld change

didicold: @ op
d girl is trying to eat her cake and have,she might not be trying to deliberately bt dats d end point, i can reason from ur post dat u r in d same ppa, dats probably d first strike u av against u*proximity*, she mite feel if thinz crash ,it wont make for a good work environment,and secondly d moment u guys go official, colleagues will really start speculating about ur relatnship,some ppl cant stand that,thirdshe mite av a bf elsewhere(some women av to a have a bf(handbag)everywhere dey go) and still want u, but if she goes official wit u ,u will become more demanding and it mite leak to her bf.
Or finally, she mite just be playing hard to get.

If u r not d type to dwell on tinz, i suggest u give her sometime, a week or two, den request to speak to her, just come out and say, "babe i really dig u (and if see urselves longterm u mite add that(or lie)), but i amnot getting any younger and if u say no today, i will accept it as ur final word and move on ".
U can also tell her or know in ur own mind dat all dose PDAs, illegal visiting and cuddling will stop because she is indirectly cock-blocking u, no other gal around will take u serzly if u guyz continue dat way, i know i wuldnt.
There are two tinz involved she will either shape up and say yes/lemme think or a final no. But at least u'll stop teasing u.

#end of d epistle..lol#

fanx for d deep insight didicold...honestly u really did speak my mind...most of d pple I told said she's trying to eat her cake and have it,dat she's trying to make me play a second fiddle to her boy friend just incase somfin happens....we talked abt it and @ one point she told me I should give her time to fink abt it...but @ a point I started getting jealous cuz she uses dis guy's pix as dp on her BB and we talked abt it and she said dats d reason why she said she can't date me cuz she noticed am d jealous type and I can't just xpect her to leave dat guy all of a sudden and morover d other has started suspecting a change in her behaviour and demanded she come visit him,so she said dat was d main reason why she used dat guy's pix as dp just to please him and all...infact she got angry @ me dat am trying to be too authoritative despite d fact dat we've not started dating...I pleaded wit her and we made fins up...so rite now we've decided to suspend d issue of dating cuz she said it would be discussed @ a later date.....am just taking my time as to wat decision to take Next dat is why am asking for advice cuz I fink in dis situation xperience counts alot and I know guyz would be more than willing to share it wit me...

haitto99: if I were in ur shoes I wld try to make her jealous,maybe get really close to another lady dat she knows of,i bet u are reaction wld change

fanx alot bro...don't u fink making her jealous would be childish on my path cuz she will definitely know am doing dat on purpose...though ave got pretty ladies around me who I know are even much interested in me but I really don't like their personality....

25omega: Friend zone is where you are
Why do you guys always come here talking about your feelings for another mans woman? She said no when you asked right? What more do you want?
She hugs you and you peck her cheeks and look in each others eyes... So what?
You thought you had a chance and she shut you down now get some dignity and find another woman for yourself. I know shutting off your feelings for her will be tough but just be her friend and don't make it weird

fanx alot omega...when u ask a lady out is she going to tell u yes @ d first instance?how long do u fink a lady will torture u b4 she finally accept u,no woman want to fall so cheap for a guy even if they give u sign they are more into u....but in dis case I'm not sure of her feelings for me though she shows sign she's interested in me...moreover she didn't reveal d identity of dis guy to me in d first place...anytime I ask she will tell me he's just a friend to her...so as a guy wat impression would u have if a girl doesn't reveal d true identity of her guy to u?if she doesn't want to have anyfin to do wit u do u fink she will lie abt her bf?just as a guy will lie to her new girl abt his gf...dat is why I seek for advice just to know wat step to take....so now I guess u should know am not trying to steal anoda man's girl...

idnoble135: like daisyella said, she takes you as a friend. And thats it.
You have a platonic relationship. You are her friend. You should have made your intentions known earlier to her.
And i dont know why, most ladies prefer not to date their friends. Very few argue and believe that, their friend can step up to become their date. Obvious that she is in the first category.
So brace up man. There are a thousand fishes in the river. And its better to have an unreturned love than to love and get cheated on or jilted.

fanx alot idnoble....I know there lots of fishes in d sea...am just trying to waite maybe I could just hold on to dis one cuz she's someone I really really like....she didn't reveal d true identity of her bf to me not until I made effort to know deep down and after confirming d true identity of d guy(she told me herself though)she said she doenst love dis guy dat is why I decided to give it a try....and now she doesn't want to date me...is she trying to play hard to get or she just want to take me as a friend for real?

well....what can i say,my brother,u are now IN THE ZONE OF FRIENDS ,she views you as a complete non-sexual entity.....sorta like a sheep

Friend zone hmmm such a terrible place to end

Op,she is taking advantage of you,she might soon tell to forget about dating completely that she can't double date and you won't wana force her.

My advice,though aint gona be easy, before the transfer maket closeS try and be warming up another decent lady and prepare youR mind for anytn ahead.

tunamost: fanx alot bro...don't u fink making her jealous would be childish on my path cuz she will definitely know am doing dat on purpose...though ave got pretty ladies around me who I know are even much interested in me but I really don't like their personality....

she is feeling too comfortable shake her up a lil bit

tunamost: Plz fellow forumites...there's dis lady I met in my PPA where I serve...we've been working together for some months now...we fund of each other,I like her so much and I fink she likes me too...even @ work she's always talking to me,hold my hands and stuffs like dat...@ break time we always together and pple fink we already dating...I told her abt my ex how she broke my heart and she encouraged me to move on wit my life...she also gave me indications dat she's single though she said she's dating a guy she never said yes to for abt 7 yrs but she don't love him and she's broken up wit d guy several times and dis guy keeps coming to beg her and they always fix fins up and all...I realise my feelins for dis girl become stronger day by day and one day I took a bold step to ask her out on BB cuz I couldn't even face her to tell her cuz of d unknowns....but her response was shocking...she said she's surprised am asking her out cuz she wasn't xpecting it from me and all...she said she only want to take me as a friend,a very gud one she can confide in,a best friend and all...I was so disappointed in myself....I really really like dis girl and she told me she likes me too but she doesn't want to date me even if she's not into any committed relationship....after all said and done she still won't stop talking to me,looking into my eyes,calling me on fone,come to my house,cuddle me up wit hugs and all....she said she doesn't want to break my heart dat she can't just opt out of d relationship she's into cuz d guy hasn't done anyfin wrong to her even if she doesn't really like d guy....plz I need ur advice...is she hiding her feelings for me or she just want us to be friends....cuz I fink my relationship wit her @ d moment is more than just friends....do u fink she will agree to date me wit time if I cool down or should I just forget abt her and don't remind her of my proposal?plz I await ur response....its urgent...fanx alot

1. Never ask a girl through the phone or internet do directly like a man, i did that even though i got nos.
2. She's dating a dude for 7 years that shows indecisiveness what makes you think you would be an exception ?
3. They make up, meaning she still has something for this guy or still attached to him to keep coming back
4. Dating in the same working environment that's a No No

also all the bolded parts are hints that it's doomed already just be friends :x sorry bro

pc guru:
1. Never ask a girl through the phone or internet do directly like a man, i did that even though i got nos.
2. She's dating a dude for 7 years that shows indecisiveness what makes you think you would be an exception ?
3. They make up, meaning she still has something for this guy or still attached to him to keep coming back
4. Dating in the same working environment that's a No No

also all the bolded parts are hints that it's doomed already just be friends :x sorry bro

fanx alot pc guru....hmmm!..I appreciate ur comment...well I fink asking her out physically wouldn't ave made any diff in dis situation but fanx for d correction am gonna adjust in dat area cuz of next time....hmmm!it appears ave got no chance in dis game @ all...ave got no choice than to be friend wit her...fanx all u who ave taken time to advice me on dis issue...really appreciate..would still entertain more comments if u wana...

haitto99: she is feeling too comfortable shake her up a lil bit

aiit...I will...would try all d tactics and see how it ends...fanx once again..

Eeja Nla01: Friend zone hmmm such a terrible place to end

Op,she is taking advantage of you,she might soon tell to forget about dating completely that she can't double date and you won't wana force her.

My advice,though aint gona be easy, before the transfer maket closeS try and be warming up another decent lady and prepare youR mind for anytn ahead.

fanx alot eja nla...funny u..transfer window...anyway I get all dat u said...am gonna work on it...just dat sometimes if I decide to keep to myself and not talk to her in a day,she will call me and start complaining dat I didn't ask of her...and I don't want it to look as if am ignoring her just bcuz she didn't accept to date me...will work on ur advice anyway...fanx alot..

Ojisik: well....what can i say,my brother,u are now IN THE ZONE OF FRIENDS ,she views you as a complete non-sexual entity.....sorta like a sheep

hmmmm!I broda..dats exactly wat makes me feel sad...after all dat I feel for her she just want me to be her friend and nofin more...well I guess dat is life..we love someone dat doesn't really want us...

tunamost: fanx alot omega...when u ask a lady out is she going to tell u yes @ d first instance?how long do u fink a lady will torture u b4 she finally accept u,no woman want to fall so cheap for a guy even if they give u sign they are more into u....but in dis case I'm not sure of her feelings for me though she shows sign she's interested in me...moreover she didn't reveal d identity of dis guy to me in d first place...anytime I ask she will tell me he's just a friend to her...so as a guy wat impression would u have if a girl doesn't reveal d true identity of her guy to u?if she doesn't want to have anyfin to do wit u do u fink she will lie abt her bf?just as a guy will lie to her new girl abt his gf...dat is why I seek for advice just to know wat step to take....so now I guess u should know am not trying to steal anoda man's girl...

Dont take this the wrong way but please stop using f in the place th, It is actually quite annoying to me

ok i guess playing hard to get is how they do it in Nigeria so i can say i really dont know what im talking about then. one thing i want you to consider is the fact that she has told you she has someone but you are still carrying a torch for her. if she were to ever agree to date you, would you be worried that someone who might be richer or a smooth talker can take her from you? would you expect her to be able to tell a man no i have someone and expect that person to respect that fact?
my experience so has been i meet a girl and i get to know her if i ask her out if she says yes then fine and if she says no then i cut my loses and move on. i dont have time for games

The best thing to do is make her feel jealous and let her know that you worth more than her, by getting a girl you can be very close with and act as if you guys are dating.. She is gonna feel she is losing something.. 've used that a lot.. Despite been a teenage youngman still know all those tricks..

25omega: Dont take this the wrong way but please stop using f in the place th, It is actually quite annoying to me

ok i guess playing hard to get is how they do it in Nigeria so i can say i really dont know what im talking about then. one thing i want you to consider is the fact that she has told you she has someone but you are still carrying a torch for her. if she were to ever agree to date you, would you be worried that someone who might be richer or a smooth talker can take her from you? would you expect her to be able to tell a man no i have someone and expect that person to respect that fact?
my experience so has been i meet a girl and i get to know her if i ask her out if she says yes then fine and if she says no then i cut my loses and move on. i dont have time for games

fanx alot bro...I simply agree to all dat uve said....am gonna do as uve suggested...such is life...I appreciate.

Codedrock: The best thing to do is make her feel jealous and let her know that you worth more than her, by getting a girl you can be very close with and act as if you guys are dating.. She is gonna feel she is losing something.. 've used that a lot.. Despite been a teenage youngman still know all those tricks..

fanx codedrock...would apply dat as well...nice one.

you guys can still be friends but keep ur fingers crossed. if she eventually breaks up with her guy, you may be the NEXT to occupy the space

tunamost: fanx for d deep insight didicold...honestly u really did speak my mind...most of d pple I told said she's trying to eat her cake and have it,dat she's trying to make me play a second fiddle to her boy friend just incase somfin happens....we talked abt it and @ one point she told me I should give her time to fink abt it...but @ a point I started getting jealous cuz she uses dis guy's pix as dp on her BB and we talked abt it and she said dats d reason why she said she can't date me cuz she noticed am d jealous type and I can't just xpect her to leave dat guy all of a sudden and morover d other has started suspecting a change in her behaviour and demanded she come visit him,so she said dat was d main reason why she used dat guy's pix as dp just to please him and all...infact she got angry @ me dat am trying to be too authoritative despite d fact dat we've not started dating...I pleaded wit her and we made fins up...so rite now we've decided to suspend d issue of dating cuz she said it would be discussed @ a later date.....am just taking my time as to wat decision to take Next dat is why am asking for advice cuz I fink in dis situation xperience counts alot and I know guyz would be more than willing to share it wit me...

u were probably too nice n lovely, always available to render one form of help or the other... babes lyk kipin such friends n teasing u z a vry gud way of sendin u to d undateable friendzone... go fynd a sexy babe to Bleep off all d confusion in ur head... wen ur head z fild wif d activity from d oda gal, u may not knw wen she has stopd teasing u.... u r lonely n u nid to get laid..... URGENTLY!!!

[quote author=lexi-b]
u were probably too nice n lovely, always available to render one form of help or the other... babes lyk kipin such friends n teasing u z a vry gud way of sendin u to d undateable friendzone... go fynd a sexy babe to bang off all d confusion in ur head... wen ur head z fild wif d activity from d oda gal, u may not knw wen she has stopd teasing u.... u r lonely n u nid to get laid..... URGENTLY!!! den u forget d babe jor, she doin all dat cos she has seen dat u r a hopeless romantic... flee from her b4 she kills u... service go soon end o! other fyn corpers dey o! no dull ursef guy... I don talk finish...