Hi. My name is Amber. I recently got married to a Igbo man. I love my husband very much but I feel like he is hiding some things from me. I have been honest with him about the good bad and ugly with myself but I just can't shake this feeling of hidden things. I am now starting to question weather he loves me for me or if he would just like a green card. Should I go searching for information or just let it be?

What sort of info are you looking for?

AmberDelRio: Hi. My name is Amber. I recently got married to a Igbo man. I love my husband very much but I feel like he is hiding some things from me. I have been honest with him about the good bad and ugly with myself but I just can't shake this feeling of hidden things. I am now starting to question weather he loves me for me or if he would just like a green card. Should I go searching for information or just let it be?

How well do you even know him. I mean if you know you hubby from home, you will have most of the informations you need.

I assume you are non-Nigerian so its okay to be a little suspicious about your husband's true intentions.
However,I think your questioning them is a bit late since you are already married to him but if searching for information would make you feel good, by all means do. Just be prepared to handle whatever you may find.

AmberDelRio: Hi. My name is Amber. I recently got married to a Igbo man. I love my husband very much but I feel like he is hiding some things from me. I have been honest with him about the good bad and ugly with myself but I just can't shake this feeling of hidden things. I am now starting to question weather he loves me for me or if he would just like a green card. Should I go searching for information or just let it be?

You have told us little about why you suspect him however, your research will be a little too late. I will encourage you to do the research if you are not sure who he really is and what he really wants. But I will say tell us why you dont trust him!

What exactly r u suspecting,
Is it that he may be married b4 you without telling u,
If u want to search for info there must atleast be a specific thing on ur mind that u r looking for
I know what curiosity can do hweva, so my advice is whatever u r looking for dont let him find out u r digging some things until u've got enof evidences to proof u were right in ur gut feeling else he will think u dont trust him.

Op, why did you not do all the necessary research before marriage? Why wait till now. What if what you find is heart breaking? Most times, we ladies are the causes of problems in marriages.

Since this is when you feel you should carry out research on your hubby, if that is what will give you happiness, please, do and dig very well but at the same time, be prepared to move on, paradventure your digging brings about heart breaking result.
Life is too short.

However, I must be sincere with you...... It seems it is too late.
May God help you.

Poster, your quest to me is a joke.

You did not do your due diligence before getting married to him and you are now on the suspicion hunting adventures. What is making you feel suspicious of nothing about him? Have you ever taken time to discuss your feelings with him?

If you have no reason to suspect him, why bother your paranoid feelings about what is not. Are you one of those people that believe there is no good man anywhere, hence your insecure feelings.

Though its too late since you are married but better late than never. Get on the next bus for a fact finding mission and uncover all the secrets he never told you. Meanwhile before you start, make sure you have something near you that can help in case of heart attack.

What you have written above is not in anyway putting your marriage in trouble. Please do not invite trouble into your home with your tongue and paranoid feelings.

AmberDelRio: Hi. My name is Amber. I recently got married to a Igbo man. I love my husband very much but I feel like he is hiding some things from me. I have been honest with him about the good bad and ugly with myself but I just can't shake this feeling of hidden things. I am now starting to question weather he loves me for me or if he would just like a green card. Should I go searching for information or just let it be?

You've left yourself with few options and not much hope here.

It's either there is nothing to this or there is.

If there is not, you may search not find anything and be satisfied. Or you may not find anything and still not be satisfied as the seed of suspicion continues to gnaw.

If there is, you may inquire, find something and be faced with hard choices. Or you may not find anything and in due course whatever it is rears its head. You will then be faced with those same choices, but with more water under the bridge, they may be that much harder and more complicated.

For your peace of mind and long term best interest the obvious thing to do would be to "go search" as you put it. That alone could put a great strain on the relationship.

Brace yourself.

I wish you all the best

TV

_{WannaWeds please take note!}

AmberDelRio: Hi. My name is Amber. I recently got married to a Igbo man. I love my husband very much but I feel like he is hiding some things from me. I have been honest with him about the good bad and ugly with myself but I just can't shake this feeling of hidden things. I am now starting to question weather he loves me for me or if he would just like a green card. Should I go searching for information or just let it be?

Where is the trouble

Signs should have been apparent before you married him. Did he ever take you to his home town? Meet his family? Know his siblings and communicate with them regularly? Does he talk about the future with you? Does he use the word "I" or "me" more than "we" and "us".

If your gut is telling you something try and follow it up.

AmberDelRio: Hi. My name is Amber. I recently got married to a Igbo man. I love my husband very much but I feel like he is hiding some things from me. I have been honest with him about the good bad and ugly with myself but I just can't shake this feeling of hidden things. I am now starting to question weather he loves me for me or if he would just like a green card. Should I go searching for information or just let it be?

Give us more information so we can help if not you have wasted time.

I am from America. I have never been to Nigeria before. I would like to go someday. I have talked to some of his family members and friends on line and on the phone. I have met a few of the friends he has here in America. I have found birthday, Christmas, valentines, easter cards from different women. He chats regularly with women from Nigeria and America. He says they are just friends but when I encountered one conversation between he and another woman in America she was saying how much she loves and misses him. he has comments on another woman from Nigerias facebook telling her he loves her. I havent told him yet but I am pregnant so I aam unsure what all of this will mean for our child.

Why didn't you check everything before you got married?

AmberDelRio: I am from America. I have never been to Nigeria before. I would like to go someday. I have talked to some of his family members and friends on line and on the phone. I have met a few of the friends he has here in America. I have found birthday, Christmas, valentines, easter cards from different women. He chats regularly with women from Nigeria and America. He says they are just friends but when I encountered one conversation between he and another woman in America she was saying how much she loves and misses him. he has comments on another woman from Nigerias facebook telling her he loves her. I havent told him yet but I am pregnant so I aam unsure what all of this will mean for our child.

So what do you want us to tell you now? That he is honest and loves you?
He obviously is NOT honest with you. He is telling other women he loves them.

I guess since he can not be honest and I can not trust him. I guess I should divorce him. I will be the first person in my entire family to get divorced. Maybe I should just stay with him and do to him what he has done to me and see how that makes him feel.

AmberDelRio: I guess since he can not be honest and I can not trust him. I guess I should divorce him. I will be the first person in my entire family to get divorced. Maybe I should just stay with him and do to him what he has done to me and see how that makes him feel.

It was YOUR choice to marry him. Why did you marry someone you don't / can't trust??

I thought that I could trust him. A lot of this information I didn't find out until after the marriage took place.

AmberDelRio: I thought that I could trust him. A lot of this information I didn't find out until after the marriage took place.

How long have you been dating before you married?

Hmmm. I am willing to bet you met him online right?

Hmmmmm.....

Seems it naija bashing day

How do we know this post is geniune

Its not only naijas that do marriage fraud

So you were gullible and did not do background checks?!

So divorce and dont tar naijans with brush of crap

This is super story...... ;DThis is super story......

Yes. you are correct, I met him online on a dating website. We talked off and on for a year or two while he was still in Nigeria. He came to America May 2012. I live in New York and He lives in Chicago. We still talked throught this time. He came to New York and stayed with me for a spell and I did the same in Chicago. On one of my trips to Chicago we talked about how much we love each other and how he didnt want someone to take me away from him so we got married at the courthouse. I am not trying to bash anybody. And now that there ia a child in the mix, i don't know what to do. My impulsive nature has gotten the best of me.

AmberDelRio: Yes. you are correct, I met him online on a dating website. We talked off and on for a year or two while he was still in Nigeria. He came to America May 2012. I live in New York and He lives in Chicago. We still talked throught this time. He came to New York and stayed with me for a spell and I did the same in Chicago. On one of my trips to Chicago we talked about how much we love each other and how he didnt want someone to take me away from him so we got married at the courthouse. I am not trying to bash anybody. And now that there ia a child in the mix, i don't know what to do. My impulsive nature has gotten the best of me.

Since you didn't do your home work very well before you married him, I will like to advise you to relax and put your mind at rest, stop traumatising yourself, it's not even good for your present condition.
Confront him with all those things you mentioned above, and if he deny, believe him until you have a concrete evidence and proof to back your suspicion, which you can later decide to stay or leave depending on what you can live with or without.
Leaving now without confronting him and a concrete proof that he cheats is like when you don't really believe in the marriage from the beginning.
It is well with you and your home.

If u dont mind me asking

Whats your age range

Under 20
20-25
26-34
Over 35

Are you a college grad

Thanks

I am 25 and i am currently in college. I will be finished with all my degree credit hours in december.

The problem with you 'foreign sistahs' wanting to go back to the MOTHER AFRICA!
You blindly MARRY dudes without ever STEPPING INTO NIGERIA TO SEE THEIR PARENTS!
Next time. . . don't marry a 'foreign' dude. . .if you can't handle one!
Instead of sitting down on NL and whining about the GREEN card. . .try to make some money out of him!
Let him buy you a house and a car for starters. . .before you proceed with the 'GREEN CARD'!
Simple!

Or you can trap him with CHILD SUPPORT for the next 18 years ONLY IF HE IS A MEDICAL DOCTOR! Not a CAB-DRIVER!

You use me. . . I use you, GOD NOR GO VEX!
We can discuss 'love' later!
Shikena!

AFRICAN WOMAN NA WOMAN. . . NOT LADY! My H-Agnostic God bless FELA. . .R.I.P!

Should I go searching for information or just let it be?

You should have done that before 'FALLING IN LOVE' and 'GETTING MARRIED'!
What was the rush in getting married(to a foreign dude) before you graduated from college? Foolish move! IMHO!
Pele o!

DELAY THE GREEN CARD FILING. . .AND WATCH HIS ACTIONS!
Hopefully, he does not kill ya arzzze and file 'WIDOWER'S' PETITION ON YOUR CORPSE!

I hope you are not a NURSE O! Igbo men and 'nurses' in AMERICA do not mix well! Mu ha ha ha ha ha

mgbeketoto: The problem with you 'foreign sistahs' wanting to go back to the MOTHER AFRICA!
You blindly MARRY dudes without ever STEPPING INTO NIGERIA TO SEE THEIR PARENTS!
Next time. . . don't marry a 'foreign' dude. . .if you can't handle one!
Instead of sitting down on NL and whining about the GREEN card. . .try to make some money out of him!
Let him buy you a house and a car for starters. . .before you proceed with the 'GREEN CARD'!
Simple!

Or you can trap him with CHILD SUPPORT for the next 18 years ONLY IF HE IS A MEDICAL DOCTOR! Not a CAB-DRIVER!

You use me. . . I use you, GOD NOR GO VEX!
We can discuss 'love' later!
Shikena!

AFRICAN WOMAN NA WOMAN. . . NOT LADY! My H-Agnostic God bless FELA. . .R.I.P!



You should have done that before 'FALLING IN LOVE' and 'GETTING MARRIED'!
What was the rush in getting married(to a foreign dude) before you graduated from college? Foolish move! IMHO!
Pele o!

DELAY THE GREEN CARD FILING. . .AND WATCH HIS ACTIONS!
Hopefully, he does not kill ya arzzze and file 'WIDOWER'S' PETITION ON YOUR CORPSE!

I hope you are not a NURSE O! Igbo men and 'nurses' in AMERICA do not mix well! Mu ha ha ha ha ha

why are you always wickedly sarcastic

AmberDelRio: I am 25 and i am currently in college. I will be finished with all my degree credit hours in december.

I assume you are genuine
ok.. well as Calotti the Harloti has said, it is obvious you did not complete or perform any due dilligence on your hubby
Aside from marriage, you are pregant..Double jeopardy..

It is best you do not file for him at this present time
See and observe and watch

The next step is up to you

Lets assume he is married and has a family and you find out now,

Will you annul the marriage under false pretenses and,

will you keep the pregnancy or not

You have to assume the worst now...