I am going to start by saying that I am a Christian who believes in the principle of "two becoming one" in marriage. But I have been asking myself of late on the necessity to be very open in a relationship and marriage. So I am asking for matured inputs and advice please.

I was raised up in a home where my parents are very open to each other. I mean 100 percent open. Same applies to my partner who reminds me so much of my dad in this regard . While it could take a lot of whining to get me to talk, he is very open. He hides nothing and I have the passwords to his email, access to his phone et al. His principle is that anything anyone does not want my wife to know, do not bother telling me because I believe in oneness (we are still engaged though).

My issue is this, there are somethings that I believe should not be revealed or in its entirety for the sake of preserving relationships. For example, before my parents gave their consent to our union, they voiced some concerns which were normal. I could not go on and tell him everything because the truth is that I know it may affect his relationship with them in the future even though from my point of view and that of my siblings, it is not easy giving out your last child without reservations. But now they have wholeheartedly accepted him.

I remember when my brother was getting married, his wife too who believes in "I must tell my husband everything" was always telling him all what her parents were saying. Even during the wedding preparations which we know always causes a percentage of friction between the two families; she told him everything eg "mummy said I should not always discuss everything with you, I should have a secret account, how can she say a thing like that" etc. Everyone was praising her in my family that the girl knows how to marry, she adores my brother and tells him everything but at the long run, I have noticed the way my brother has changed towards his inlaws unlike how it was initially. This is natural with or without his planning it. But her relationship with her parents is still intact.

The truth is that blood is thick and no matter what my mum says or does to me that is seemingly so hurting, by the next day or two, I would have forgotten but this does not apply to people who do not have a blood relationship.

This is just an example though, so I am asking, are there times when one is supposed to shut up and filter information from one’s spouse or should it be a case of 100 percent openness and honesty?

There is a reason why God gave every human a brain. It is meant to be used at all times and in all situations. Openness

does not equates to stupidity. There is a wide difference between keeping secrets and divulging unnecessary and idle

information like the one you painted. When you are confronted with situations, apply the brain to know what info to

release or not. The only info you are bound to disclose is anything that may jeopardize your relationship if kept. Other

idle talk should be treated as such.

You sound very confused.
If you are a REALLY A CHRISTIAN. . . with 'beliefs' of this and that. . . .
You should not have any problems DOING THE RIGHT THING.

You are only engaged. . . not married.
I do not understand what your problem is really.
I ask you directly. . .WHAT EXACTLY IS THE PROBLEM?

You stated your parents had a 100% OPEN COMMUNICATION CHANNEL. . . .

When you get married, you will learn to KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. . . when it matters!

Till then. . .enjoy your 'engagement'!

Thanks
@Mod, please due to network issues, this thread was posted twice. Can you kndly close this one in rder not to have multiple threads. Thanks