Nai.com presents the list of top seven marriage mistakes which even smart couples make from time to time.

1. Splitting the housework 50/50.

This is often considered the "fairest" way to split the chores, whether it's washing the dishes or walking the dog. But aiming for 50/50 means you're constantly keeping score, making sure that neither of you is getting the short end of the stick, and bickering every time you think you are. Spend too much time fixating on fairness today, and you risk not making it to the long run when things often balance out.

It's better to use a system similar to what economists call "comparative advantage," where each of you is responsible for what you're best at, relative to other tasks. You might handle all the bills, grocery shopping, and laundry, while your spouse sweeps and mops and fixes things when they break. Some weeks, you'll end up doing more, other times it might be 75/25 in his favor-but you don't keep track because if your husband handled the grocery shopping, you might end up with a pantry full of Tostitos.

2. Waiting until you're in the mood to have sex.

Unless you're both extremely hot and share an obsessive addiction to monogamous sex, odds are you're not in the mood as often as you were when you first met. So if you wait 'til you're turned on, months might go by before it occurs to you that maybe sex would be a fun thing to do.

The economist George Loewenstein developed a theory called the hot-cold empathy gap, which says we have two selves: a cold, clear-headed rational self that might say, "I will have sex with my husband when I come home tonight because I love him and I will enjoy it and heck, it's good for my marriage" and a hot, impulsive, emotion-driven, irrational self that says, when the time actually comes, "I've had such a bad day, I feel fat and bloated, my husband is annoying tonight… No way am I having sex. I'm going to watch the TV and go to bed."

When the time actually comes, we may not be in the mood, but we need to listen to our "cool" selves, the voice before we had a bad day. You're not in the mood NOW, but you were THEN, when you were thinking about it, and you'll enjoy it - so just do it. You might not be in the mood, but you won't regret it, either.

3. Assuming a rough patch is the end of the world.

Relationships go in cycles. There are ups (booms) and downs (busts), just like in the economy. They're not only inevitable, but they're actually healthy. They force you to see where you've let things slide, taken each other for granted, or just lost sight of what's important. Embrace the rough patches and borrow a concept from economics called "creative destruction," or innovating in the face of crisis, and think up a novel solution to an issue that keeps dividing you.

4. Staying up to resolve an argument, even if it takes all night.

Bad idea! At a certain point - and we've all been there - we just want to be right, whatever it costs. And because someone at our bridal shower advised us to never go to bed angry, we beat up ourselves and our spouses into the wee hours in the name of "resolution." But the more we try to resolve (aka, win), the later it gets and the more exhausted and resentful we become. So yes, go to bed angry sometimes. Get some rest and sleep on it. Reconvene the anger summit in the morning when you're both more open-minded and less riled up. This is the economic concept of "loss aversion," which, in simple terms, means we hate to lose. Recognizing how much we hate to lose, we need to take actions to minimize the damage we do attempting to win at all costs.

5. Trying to mind-read, or expecting your partner to do so.

This one should be obvious, and yet again, we all assume our spouse knows we need a hug (or a cocktail) after a bad day at the office or figure that he'll wash the car on his way past the car wash because it's so obviously dirty. The solution: the economic principle of transparency. Give your spouse the information he or she needs, rather than expecting him to know the unknowable. Information is the grease that keeps your little economy functioning.

6. Putting off kind gestures.

We think we'll give him that well-deserved back rub, or watch the kids so she can get out the door for a child-free afternoon, but then we flake. The time never seems right. The to-do list remains too long. We think we're great spouses but sometimes we're just not. The best solution to our procrastination is to devise something economists call "commitment devices" - ways to force ourselves to commit to things. Send your husband a text promising a back rub and you sort of have to do it. Arrange a personal training session for your wife and the kids are all yours for the afternoon.

7. Underestimating the power of small changes.

Long commute and big house, or shoebox in the city and more time with the kids? When you start to think about one person quitting a job because the demands of housework and childcare are too overwhelming with both partners working, consider the smaller changes that might help first. What if you cooked more meals on the weekend? Or hired an occasional cleaning service so neither of you has to spend your free time scrubbing the sink? Instead of grand solutions, look for the incremental changes that can improve situations.

I saw this and I thought it's worth sharing.
I think it's good for us to examine and asses ourselves.

As for me, I'm so guilty of Number 5 and I've learnt how to correct it.
May God uphold our marriages. Amen.

nice one

No 4 is a nice one

Well done

biolabee: No 4 is a nice one

Well done

Thanks.
And yes, my hubby is also guilty of that No 4, we won't sleep if we had had a disagreement during the day, until everything is thrashed out. But I think its good like that o until I came across this piece.

angel TI: nice one

Thanks.

Guilty as sin especially no 4. Dat man is head strong. Lolz

callola: Guilty as sin especially no 4. Dat man is head strong. Lolz

Lol, then it seems many men are guilty of this!

I guess it's a result of the belief that one should not sleep with issues unresolved

greatgod2012:

Thanks.
And yes, my hubby is also guilty of that No 4, we won't sleep if we had had a disagreement during the day, until everything is thrashed out. But I think its good like that o until I came across this piece.

Na family section you go hear "CC".."."...as if the pesin be stammerer What of BB (biolabee)?

Nice thread btw.

yeah number 2. i hear sex ends after marriage

Next topic pls... b4 i comment my reserve.

There are however some husbands that should hit the road, no matter what. Here they are.

http://www.elijahforce..com/2013/05/8-kinds-of-husbands-that-should-hit-road.html

Next topic abeg.

Hmmm

Nice one From as usual..God bless Your Home.

Great write-up.

I HAVE 1
GETTING MARRIED IN THE 1ST PLACE
BIG BIG MISTAKE

Ok

u think e easy to dey type with micro mini keypads



good man

sholay2011: Na family section you go hear "CC".."."...as if the pesin be stammerer What of BB (biolabee)?

Nice thread btw.

9c nd salient points. As for no 4, d worst is nt talkin abt it. So long as u talk abt d misundastndin, u r gd 2 go, no mata d tym.

Its okay anywayz im still single..

Another cork and bull story bout marriage

Splitting the chores 50-50 WTF? As far as Africa is concerned, any man who even discusses splitting of chores with the wife is a foolish man.

The wife is supposed to perform all chores a 100% no questions asked, she is supposed to perform them happily and gracefully, if she's having difficulties performing them, then she should discuss hiring a help but telling your husband to come join you perform chores is a height of disrespect, I've never seen it before.

Great piece.

50calibre: Splitting the chores 50-50 WTF? As far as Africa is concerned, any man who even discusses splitting of chores with the wife is a foolish man.

The wife is supposed to perform all chores a 100% no questions asked, she is supposed to perform them happily and gracefully, if she's having difficulties performing them, then she should discuss hiring a help but telling your husband to come join you perform chores is a height of disrespect, I've never seen it before.

where did u grow up? Zamfara state? Near yerima house?

Splitting chores 50:50 would be great if we also split financial responsibilities 50:50!

50calibre: Splitting the chores 50-50 WTF? As far as Africa is concerned, any man who even discusses splitting of chores with the wife is a foolish man.

The wife is supposed to perform all chores a 100% no questions asked, she is supposed to perform them happily and gracefully, if she's having difficulties performing them, then she should discuss hiring a help but telling your husband to come join you perform chores is a height of disrespect, I've never seen it before.

huh? U still deh learn o, abi u no deh this world? I've seen gentle men split the job themselves