In the olden days, a woman stays put in her marriage no matter what. And some( not all) men seem to take this for granted and misbehave. Some of our parents didn't have happy marriages, but they stayed together cos of us, the children. Not wanting us to come from a broken home.

I'm not married, so I can't say much about marriages or divorce, hence my questions. All I can say from what I have noticed is this:

1. Nigerian men have an "entitlement" mentality and seem to want the women to give her all to make them happy in a relationship.

2. Since men are the ones that select a wife, they sometimes have high standards for a woman to meet before she's considered "fit" for a wife. And this makes most women pretend( which is wrong) just to get married. I was talking with a male friend and he was telling me he can't marry a woman that has a tatoo, already has children or has slept with more than 4/5 men.

Anyways, like I said earlier, I dnt have any experience in the marriage dept, hence my asking this question of people who I feel are experts. This is my opinion on the matter and I stand to be corrected if I'm wrong.

You just gave simple reasons to a complex situation. To deduce from your submission, you put the blame on men which completely wrong. To put your two positions straight

1. Who doesn't want the partner to giver his/her all in a relationship? Do you think only men have that entitlement mentality? When making observation, do not be gender biased.

2. Men have high standard for women to meet you said. Do you want men to jump at any woman they see without assessing her potentials of making a good wife. Men as well as women have their respective standard and nobody can blame anybody for his/her choice in marriage.

The truth of the matter is that most marriages that end up in divorce have faulty foundations. When the foundation is faulty, collapse is inevitable.

My own take on your no 2

Women have extremely high standards

That is why there is a study that in 10 years time there would a dearth of marriageable men

Women marry up
Men usually marry down

You can never see a successful woman marry a socially or materially lesser man

While rich men marry women of lower social standings everyday

In madonna's word

I AM LOVING IN A MATERIAL WORLD
AND I AM A MATERIAL GIRL

Na by force to marry?
The be most blessed people in the world are those that NEVER got married. . .
The most cursed. . .DIVORCEES(by their 'GODS' or by MAN)

THE MOST DOOMED. . .ARE MARRIED PEOPLE. . . LIFE WITHOUT PAROLE!

mgbeketoto: Na by force to marry?
The be most blessed people in the world are those that NEVER got married. . .
The most cursed. . .DIVORCEES(by their 'GODS' or by MAN)

THE MOST DOOMED. . .ARE MARRIED PEOPLE. . . LIFE WITHOUT PAROLE!

Ahh Aunty you don change profile again?

Lord_Reed:

Ahh Aunty you don change profile again?

O JES O!AJE BUTTER LIFE GOOD O!
Can you spot my CUTE LONG LEGS. . . IN FRONT. . . AS USUAL!

BEAUTIFUL SIBLINGS AND cousins. . .CAN YOU SPOT 'OBAFEMI AND OHIO'?

My beautiful mom AT THE BACK. . .LEFT OF YOUR COMPUTER. . .with the killer smile!


HEEEEEEEEEEEEEY. . . IF YOU GARRRRRRRRRRRRIT?

I don't think it is high....
It's not low, either... It is what it is.

mgbeketoto: Na by force to marry?
The be most blessed people in the world are those that NEVER got married. . .
The most cursed. . .DIVORCEES(by their 'GODS' or by MAN)

THE MOST DOOMED. . .ARE MARRIED PEOPLE. . . LIFE WITHOUT PAROLE!

First, where did you get this statistics from?
It seems your dictionary has a different definition for blessed, cursed and doomed

mgbeketoto:

O JES O!AJE BUTTER LIFE GOOD O!
Can you spot my CUTE LONG LEGS. . . IN FRONT. . . AS USUAL!

BEAUTIFUL SIBLINGS AND cousins. . .CAN YOU SPOT 'OBAFEMI AND OHIO'?

My beautiful mom AT THE BACK. . .LEFT OF YOUR COMPUTER. . .with the killer smile!


HEEEEEEEEEEEEEY. . . IF YOU GARRRRRRRRRRRRIT?

Aunty! You carry since you small o! Now we see where you gerrit from

Godmother: In the olden days, a woman stays put in her marriage no matter what. And some( not all) men seem to take this for granted and misbehave. Some of our parents didn't have happy marriages, but they stayed together cos of us, the children. Not wanting us to come from a broken home.

I'm not married, so I can't say much about marriages or divorce, hence my questions. All I can say from what I have noticed is this:

1. Nigerian men have an "entitlement" mentality and seem to want the women to give her all to make them happy in a relationship.

2. Since men are the ones that select a wife, they sometimes have high standards for a woman to meet before she's considered "fit" for a wife. And this makes most women pretend( which is wrong) just to get married. I was talking with a male friend and he was telling me he can't marry a woman that has a tatoo, already has children or has slept with more than 4/5 men.

Anyways, like I said earlier, I dnt have any experience in the marriage dept, hence my asking this question of people who I feel are experts. This is my opinion on the matter and I stand to be corrected if I'm wrong.

@OP,

There has always being divorce just that it was not legal... When there were issues,

The man send the woman packing;
The man marries a second + X wives;
The woman's family comes to carry their daughter.

From our parents' examples, we can also see that 'Staying for the kids makes no sense'

Lastly, in a bid to counter one extreme (operation I must die a 'Mrs./Mr.') some people have gone overboard by divorcing when there is no connection (whatever it means), when money/beauty goes, when there is no more love etc.

biolabee: My own take on your no 2

Women have extremely high standards

That is why there is a study that in 10 years time there would a dearth of marriageable men

Women marry up
Men usually marry down

You can never see a successful woman marry a socially or materially lesser man

While rich men marry women of lower social standings everyday

In madonna's word

I AM LOVING IN A MATERIAL WORLD
AND I AM A MATERIAL GIRL

With the type of men getting married these days,

I don't think so

bukatyne:

With the type of men getting married these days,

I don't think so

u r on ur own....

women have always been known to marry up

What is that if not high standards...

biolabee:

u r on ur own....

women have always been known to marry up

What is that if not high standards...

I think there is a disconnect...

I guess you are referring to money as 'marrying up', I was referring to the morals.

If those marrying because of money, they have no standards at all

Money can come and go, character remains

bukatyne:

I think there is a disconnect...

I guess you are referring to money as 'marrying up', I was referring to the morals.

If those marrying because of money, they have no standards at all

Money can come and go, character remains

Well me i am not a spirit to know peoples mind
All i know is that chics will not even look at a hustler who does not have a keke napep not to talk of car
they will prefer to hustle for the ones that are already hooked leaving the managing ones alone

No be my portion to marry broke arze

Why give my sometin for free

Abi na lie i talk

biolabee:

Well me i am not a spirit to know peoples mind
All i know is that chics will not even look at a hustler who does not have a keke napep not to talk of car
they will prefer to hustle for the ones that are already hooked leaving the managing ones alone

No be my portion to marry broke arze

Why give my sometin for free

Abi na lie i talk

Not all girls Oga

biolabee:

Well me i am not a spirit to know peoples mind
All i know is that chics will not even look at a hustler who does not have a keke napep not to talk of car
they will prefer to hustle for the ones that are already hooked leaving the managing ones alone

No be my portion to marry broke arze

Why give my sometin for free

Abi na lie i talk

Wanted to answer but remembered u r a man.
Leave chics alone.how do u expect them to marry down?
Men only marry down cos they want to control and I tell u rebellion cometh knocking in such scenerio.
Its simple law of nature.

yellowpawpaw:
Wanted to answer but remembered u r a man.
Leave chics alone.how do u expect them to marry down?
Men only marry down cos they want to control and I tell u rebellion cometh knocking in such scenerio.
Its simple law of nature.

Exactly my point and i have no problem with it...

It was madam buka that was tryingto prove girls dont have high standards...

Just today a senior bros was telling me of his girlfriend whio dumped his arze that he had no money
She left him to marry a chief
He moved on and remarried..

he met her some years back at the airport// same flight
She was like wow.. were we on the same flight

Hes like well.. i was on first class...

meanwhile she married into a polygamic home and she no get pikin...

sad sha

bukatyne:

Not all girls Oga

ok.. like 95% sha

biolabee:

Exactly my point and i have no problem with it...

It was madam buka that was tryingto prove girls dont have high standards...

Just today a senior bros was telling me of his girlfriend whio dumped his arze that he had no money
She left him to marry a chief
He moved on and remarried..

he met her some years back at the airport// same flight
She was like wow.. were we on the same flight

Hes like well.. i was on first class...

meanwhile she married into a polygamic home and she no get pikin...

sad sha

I said girls that marry for money have NO standard

bukatyne:

I said girls that marry for money have NO standard

Sad as it may be almost all gals hv financial security in marriage at the back of their mind while dating.u date a not well to do guy just bc u c he has prospects else u stylishly withdraw. That's reality.

I have no sympathy for.divorcees, people should look before leaping. I dnt subscribe to that crap that people change during marriage. Most people are more concerned abt d partying, bearing Mr or Mrs and flaunting their wedding rings.and kids.
If u do a thorough search u can tell if ur partner is not for u. Divorcees should not play the 'my partner is a devil' card, they should blame themselves for poor judgement.
Anyways, people can opt for divorce as a way of correcting their faulty judgement but they shouldn't go abt claiming to be victims. They should use it as a learning curve to correct their mistakes not going abt crucifying their ex.

yellowpawpaw:
Sad as it may be almost all gals hv financial security in marriage at the back of their mind while dating.u date a not well to do guy just bc u c he has prospects else u stylishly withdraw. That's reality.

Thanks ma... its the plain reality.. its not the best but na so e dey be....

hmm.. you come across as some one who is infallible

people do change

I dont believe you even have a grasp of everything you are capable of personally not to talk of the next person

However everyman(woman) to himself

Gaggi: I have no sympathy for.divorcees, people should look before leaping. I dnt subscribe to that crap that people change during marriage. Most people are more concerned abt d partying, bearing Mr or Mrs and flaunting their wedding rings.and kids.
If u do a thorough search u can tell if ur partner is not for u. Divorcees should not play the 'my partner is a devil' card, they should blame themselves for poor judgement.
Anyways, people can opt for divorce as a way of correcting their faulty judgement but they shouldn't go abt claiming to be victims. They should use it as a learning curve to correct their mistakes not going abt crucifying their ex.

bukatyne:

I said girls that marry for money have NO standard

yes,,, they dont in the spiritual sense but in the REAL, CARNAL sense, they have a high standard
You have to supply peruvian, z10, ipad, macbook air and an annual vacation to dobuy...

e no easy for man folk o

choi

Gaggi: I have no sympathy for.divorcees, people should look before leaping. I dnt subscribe to that crap that people change during marriage. Most people are more concerned abt d partying, bearing Mr or Mrs and flaunting their wedding rings.and kids.
If u do a thorough search u can tell if ur partner is not for u. Divorcees should not play the 'my partner is a devil' card, they should blame themselves for poor judgement.
Anyways, people can opt for divorce as a way of correcting their faulty judgement but they shouldn't go abt claiming to be victims. They should use it as a learning curve to correct their mistakes not going abt crucifying their ex.

Take it easy gaggi. Nobody loves divorce. But sometimes we gat to face reality.
What do u mean by partyin,flauntin weddin rings and kids?

yellowpawpaw:
Take it easy gaggi. Nobody loves divorce. But sometimes we gat to face reality.
What do u mean by partyin,flauntin weddin rings and kids?

Most of us fantasize more abt how grand d wedding party would be, showing of our rocks and our beautiful kids. That Is what singles daydream of when the thoughts of marriage comes to their minds.
Such thoughts overpowers good judgement hence people dnt have time to think deep abt what marriage entails.
We care more for d superficial whilst neglecting substance. Divorce rate will get worse since the upcoming generation are even more senseless.

biolabee: hmm.. you come across as some one who is infallible

people do change

I dont believe you even have a grasp of everything you are capable of personally not to talk of the next person

However everyman(woman) to himself

People dnt change, when would u guys learn? Its d reason people marry a mismatch hoping they would change after marriage.
I knw d flaws of my wife, I studied it and decided I could live with it. I'm sure u couldn't live with such flaws but I knw what I can cope with.
Study d way ur partner behaves around others not around u. A persons behaviour will always be at its best when their luv interest is around. If it means hiring an investigator pls do so. Marriage is a lifetime thing.
I will only sympathize with a divorcee or even divorce my partner if INFIDELITY comes in.
My husband drinks too much, he is dirty, he snores, he is violent, he comes home at night, he has no respect bla bla bla. An adult doesn't acquire these traits in one day. Seek and ye shall find.
In d case of infidelity, follow d 11th commandment...lol. If u are not disciplined enough to control ur libido then dnt get caught. Even d good book knws that this is unpardonable.
I'm tempted to say men have a leverage here because d society permits polygamy and a man must be unfaithful in d process of courting d next wife...lol.

Gaggi:

People dnt change, when would u guys learn? Its d reason people marry a mismatch hoping they would change after marriage.
I knw d flaws of my wife, I studied it and decided I could live with it. I'm sure u couldn't live with such flaws but I knw what I can cope with.
Study d way ur partner behaves around others not around u. A persons behaviour will always be at its best when their luv interest is around. If it means hiring an investigator pls do so. Marriage is a lifetime thing.
I will only sympathize with a divorcee or even divorce my partner if INFIDELITY comes in.
My husband drinks too much, he is dirty, he snores, he is violent, he comes home at night, he has no respect bla bla bla. An adult doesn't acquire these traits in one day. Seek and ye shall find.
In d case of infidelity, follow d 11th commandment...lol. If u are not disciplined enough to control ur libido then dnt get caught. Even d good book knws that this is unpardonable.
I'm tempted to say men have a leverage here because d society permits polygamy and a man must be unfaithful in d process of courting d next wife...lol.

Funny but I agree with you to a large extent.

Only few people ever really really change!

If he/she is loving you up, see how he/she treat others, their values, how they react when angry, the things that appeal to them etc etc. it's well

Ok.. Now I get what you were trying to pass across

It's herculean to change someone though

But believe you me abusers and beaters hide their traits wella.. You will not know

Spendthrifts are a bit easy to know but ra.pists, homos you may never know because they will pretend

What do you think

Gaggi:

People dnt change, when would u guys learn? Its d reason people marry a mismatch hoping they would change after marriage.
I knw d flaws of my wife, I studied it and decided I could live with it. I'm sure u couldn't live with such flaws but I knw what I can cope with.
Study d way ur partner behaves around others not around u. A persons behaviour will always be at its best when their luv interest is around. If it means hiring an investigator pls do so. Marriage is a lifetime thing.
I will only sympathize with a divorcee or even divorce my partner if INFIDELITY comes in.
My husband drinks too much, he is dirty, he snores, he is violent, he comes home at night, he has no respect bla bla bla. An adult doesn't acquire these traits in one day. Seek and ye shall find.
In d case of infidelity, follow d 11th commandment...lol. If u are not disciplined enough to control ur libido then dnt get caught. Even d good book knws that this is unpardonable.
I'm tempted to say men have a leverage here because d society permits polygamy and a man must be unfaithful in d process of courting d next wife...lol.

Divorce is on the rise because the notion of it isn't as sacrilegous as it once was. People have come to accept it as an almost inevitable part of life.
The fear of going through a divorce has been mitigated.
Note also that people still marry for the very same reasons that older generations for, just that it's easier to divorce today than it was back then.

biolabee: Ok.. Now I get what you were trying to pass across

It's herculean to change someone though

But believe you me abusers and beaters hide their traits wella.. You will not know

Spendthrifts are a bit easy to know but ra.pists, homos you may never know because they will pretend

What do you think

We see what we want to see. A violent man may treat his lady right but they could fight a fellow man in public for minor issues.
Beware of such men, signs like that are red flags. Tomorrow u could be his punching bag.
We might never get it 100% right.but taking extra care to study will drastically reduce divorce rate.