I never knew where to start this from, but will make it short as possible. I'm a professional I live and work in lagos, and I'm married to the woman of my dreams...a very young girl.I got married after so. Many intervention by people around me... Cos initially I see nothin important in holy matrimony. But for intervention of important people in ma life I won't have been seemingly happy married. One of this people include. My very own yyounger sister husband, we were so close, much more than inlaws we were like smae family and friend. Infact we establish business together.. Dear friends I just discovered. That my friend, inlaw, my business. Partner. That I always rely on and talk to about everything including my wife was actually sleeping wth my wife and they are proffessing love to eachother! My world came to an end. I'm sharttered,nothin maakes sese to me again. I can't imagine this level of double edge betrayal could happen to me thouth it was only a nollywood story. Now my wife is begging me to forgive her, my wife's mum was crying and begging to forgive her and not tell anyone else cos that will ruin her marriage too if. I let the father know.. I can no longer concentrate on anything and I skip work today.I still don't know what to do to survive this high level betrayals by my two most trusted persons! I'm at a crossroad.. What will I do?

How did you discover this?

This is really serious o
To be betrayed by ones wyf n friend is one n for mother in law to be begging cus it culd destroy her own marriage is another. Oro yi so si ni lenu o buyo si

Ll advise u take one week vacation from ur house n everything to calm down n pray to God for direction on d matter. He ll help

epele sir, life journey is not always sweet. The bitter part do show up once in a while. Just take your time,its your decision not ours.

Dump her sorry ass

peciouslove: I never knew where to start this from, but will make it short as possible. I'm a professional I live and work in lagos, and I'm married to the woman of my dreams...a very young girl.I got married after so. Many intervention by people around me... Cos initially I see nothin important in holy matrimony. But for intervention of important people in ma life I won't have been seemingly happy married. One of this people include. My very own yyounger sister husband, we were so close, much more than inlaws we were like smae family and friend. Infact we establish business together.. Dear friends I just discovered. That my friend, inlaw, my business. Partner. That I always rely on and talk to about everything including my wife was actually sleeping wth my wife and they are proffessing love to eachother! My world came to an end. I'm sharttered,nothin maakes sese to me again. I can't imagine this level of double edge betrayal could happen to me thouth it was only a nollywood story. Now my wife is begging me to forgive her, my wife's mum was crying and begging to forgive her and not tell anyone else cos that will ruin her marriage too if. I let the father know.. I can no longer concentrate on anything and I skip work today.I still don't know what to do to survive this high level betrayals by my two most trusted persons! I'm at a crossroad.. What will I do?

My brother, on the surface, it appears that something terrible has happened to you.

But in reality, this could be one of the best things to ever happen to you. Kindly PM me.

Bro, take a deep breath life is so funny but what's ur mind telling u.

Look deep inside ur mind and listen deeply

God be with u

Its so sad 2 be betrayed by d one u trustd so much.if its dat ur nt married 2 her i would av suggestd u leave her cos a leaopard neva changes,am sayin dis out of experience bt in dis case u av 2 pray 2 God 2 giv u d hrt 2 forgive her,if u can nd wish 2 go nn wit d marriage

Boss13: How did you discover this?

How i discovered? I gave my wife my official phone when doesnt have one, she got another phone over the weekend and i wanted to retrieve mine. she was asleep when i got home and simply pick the phone fro her side attempting to change the sim wen an sms came in.Curiosity makes me open it( i dont check her phone normally) and went to her conversion which painted very sordid account of there sexual encounter and professing deep love; all the while they were sending message to each other im always with this guy! I contronted her and she did not deny only crying and begging. i also sent sms to my sis husband ad he dint deny too and have started begging and expressing remorse

Richfella:

My brother, on the surface, it appears that something terrible has happened to you.

But in reality, this could be one of the best things to ever happen to you. Kindly PM me.

I wish to see how this could be the best things ever to happen to me......pls tell me. Im still thinking of what to do...in the meantime, my wife is still with me but i have collected all her phones and make her incommuicado, i have also told her by her action she has waived her right as a wife..... I need God's guidiance in taking a final decision within the next couplees of days.

Note: for now i havent told my mum and my sis and her Dad too.

I know how difficult this can be for you but, you need to compose yourself and handle this as a MAN. Most of us have been betrayed by ones we trusted most in life cos shit happens. Every man/woman is fallable and your ability to understand this gives you an edge in times as these. If your wife truely shows remorse please do forgive together with your inlaw okay. Yes you are hurt and yes time has a way with healing. Welcome to the exams of life. I pray you pass and handle this exam as a real man. All the very best.

Dang! This is highly lugubrious. I know you must be in sixes and sevens at this juncture, completely gaga.

To be sincere with you, you are just not sharp at all. You are always with this guy whenever they exchange SMSs and you never noticed anything? And you were even blind from noticing from your wife too? Gosh! you know try at all. Anywayz, this is not about you.

I will view this the way I would react to it if I were in your shoes. Firstly, don’t have any beef sort of with the guy in question. Talk to him like nothing happened, but not lengthy anywayz, maybe greetings and the likes but make sure you guys are always on talking terms. Yet, you need to stay the heck away from him for life. Avoid his company when possible and make sure you are just limited to exchanging greetings with him to maintain the distance.

Secondly, if not for the fear of God, I would never have anything to do with a woman who is so strong-hearted as to hurt me. But, for the love and fear of God, there is always a re-think. So, my advice as regards your wife is; forgive her, but I know one thing is certain, your relationship with her can never be as strong as it were before now, at least for the time being. It is not easy to condone such from a partner especially when you are the kind that would never do that to her, it is something that would be very difficult to take as your life at this point in time would have taken a different turn. Even at that, I would enjoin you to tread carefully and approach this matter with caution while taking cognizance of the love and forgiveness of the almighty God.

I know you have been hit hard and as such, it takes the grace of God to overcome this quandary. Please, be merciful to her. Alot of peeps on here would be quick to tell you to dump her asś bla bla bla, but in reality they fail to recognise the oath people take when they pledge their love for eachother "for better or for worse" when they get married. Do you think that phrase is only applicable in financial or economic situations alone? Nope! It applies to cases such as this too. Its an oath you took in the presence of God and you must fulfil it come what may. That is why divorce is never an option for me because of my ideology towards marriage and also guided by my level of morality, ethics and spirituality.

Forgive her, I know the mark will be engraved for long, but try to fight the thought and gradually let it die a natural death. With time, the trust you have towards her can be rebuilt, although that will take much conviction. At this juncture, she will have alot to prove to you. And one thing you need to take into knowledge is, don't give her whatever suspicious look towards anything. If she wants to go somewhere all alone or she wants to do something that doesn't require the both of you in it, free her and don't give her the impression that you are suspicious of every move she makes (even if you actually do). I tell you bruv, unless she is a devil, she would never hurt you in such a way anymore. You know why? Because she is human with a conscience and and would live with that guilt of betraying your love and trust once. I think it would place her in good stead never to do anything that is slightly related to cheating.

All the best brah... I pray God gives you the right mind to bear this gruesome and excruciating pain, and to also help you to hearken to my words. Remember! I gave this to you the way I would treat it myself if I were in your position, in total consideration of my values and the way I handle situations. So, you might choose to do it some other way you deem it fit.

Have a blissful day.

What your wife did is inexcusable and a shame to womanhood. However, We see couples celebrating 30,40,50 years anniversary, happy and in love with each other. Some of these marriages too had issues even worse and more hopeless than your situation, but despite it all, they fought for their homes. They didnt give up on their partners, they CHOSE to make it work.
As for that your brother-in-law, beware of him. That kind of 'friend and brother' can give you slow poison.

The truth is you will mever trust her, you will always remember amd hate her, this will on turn you into a bitter person at home which youncoukd transfer that aggression to your kids. You will become very aggressive towards women too. IMO best thing to do is dump her, move ahead. Forget the stupid naija mentality, try to be a happy person and be with someone you can trust. I may be wrong but inalso have that same feeling you got bwfore you got married

dmcdad: Dang! This is highly lugubrious. I know you must be in sixes and sevens at this juncture, completely gaga.

To be sincere with you, you are just not sharp at all. You are always with this guy whenever they exchange SMSs and you never noticed anything? And you were even blind from noticing from your wife too? Gosh! you know try at all. Anywayz, this is not about you.

I will view this the way I would react to it if I were in your shoes. Firstly, don’t have any beef sort of with the guy in question. Talk to him like nothing happened, but not lengthy anywayz, maybe greetings and the likes but make sure you guys are always on talking terms. Yet, you need to stay the heck away from him for life. Avoid his company when possible and make sure you are just limited to exchanging greetings with him to maintain the distance.

Secondly, if not for the fear of God, I would never have anything to do with a woman who is so strong-hearted as to hurt me. But, for the love and fear of God, there is always a re-think. So, my advice as regards your wife is; forgive her, but I know one thing is certain, your relationship with her can never be as strong as it were before now, at least for the time being. It is not easy to condone such from a partner especially when you are the kind that would never do that to her, it is something that would be very difficult to take as your life at this point in time would have taken a different turn. Even at that, I would enjoin you to tread carefully and approach this matter with caution while taking cognizance of the love and forgiveness of the almighty God.


I know you have been hit hard and as such, it takes the grace of God to overcome this quandary. Please, be merciful to her. Alot of peeps on here would be quick to tell you to dump her asś bla bla bla, but in reality they fail to recognise the oath people take when they pledge their love for eachother "for better or for worse" when they get married. Do you think that phrase is only applicable in financial or economic situations alone? Nope! It applies to cases such as this too. Its an oath you took in the presence of God and you must fulfil it come what may. That is why divorce is never an option for me because of my ideology towards marriage and also guided by my level of morality, ethics and spirituality.

Forgive her, I know the mark will be engraved for long, but try to fight the thought and gradually let it die a natural death. With time, the trust you have towards her can be rebuilt, although that will take much conviction. At this juncture, she will have alot to prove to you. And one thing you need to take into knowledge is, don't give her whatever suspicious look towards anything. If she wants to go somewhere all alone or she wants to do something that doesn't require the both of you in it, free her and don't give her the impression that you are suspicious of every move she makes (even if you actually do). I tell you bruv, unless she is a devil, she would never hurt you in such a way anymore. You know why? Because she is human with a conscience and and would live with that guilt of betraying your love and trust once. I think it would place her in good stead never to do anything that is slightly related to cheating.

All the best brah... I pray God gives you the right mind to bear this gruesome and excruciating pain, and to also help you to hearken to my words. Remember! I gave this to you the way I would treat it myself if I were in your position, in total consideration of my values and the way I handle situations. So, you might choose to do it some other way you deem it fit.

Have a blissful day.

thnks for your honest advice. One very painful thing is also that twice they had sex in the same building i was too without really suspecting! we spend weekend in each others house including last weekend. they actually confessed to me that i was sleeping in the sitting room, my younger sis was in the room,the children are in there room, the betrayals were in the bathroom committing adultery!

peciouslove:


thnks for your honest advice. One very painful thing is also that twice they had sex in the same building i was too without really suspecting! we spend weekend in each others house including last weekend. they actually confessed to me that i was sleeping in the sitting room, my younger sis was in the room,the children are in there room, the betrayals were in the bathroom committing adultery!

Chai! I know it's very hard to accept this cause of the pains it brings along with it. The thought alone can bring about depression. But yet, you have to be strong as a man.

I would also like you to sit your wife down and ask her why she did all these to you? Just tell her to be sincere with you, that you wanna know what went wrong that made her to indulge in such without thinking about what the both of you share... I know it's hard but try to know where it all went wrong.

I hardly comment, but after reading through I decided to comment on dis post, I see everybody advicing you to forgive ur wife and brother in law, but your forgetting something here, what about your own sister? Have u ever thought abt her too? Such guy can end up infecting ur sister wit deadly diseases because their is every tendency his going to continue cheating on ur sister with some other women aside ur own wife, what happens to her in that case? My friend, ur a victim and so is ur sister and as such, u must bring her into the matter, discuss with her and both of u can decide on the next line of action. The only thing u owe ur sister is protecting her and I think this is the right time to prove it. Dnt live wit the guilt of hiding such bad news frm her, cus if she finds out somehow that u knw abt it, she will never trust u again no matter how hard u try to convince her it was for gud. However, I think u need God intervention, I suggest u seek divine intervention, Talk to God in prayers. But no matter the outcome, no matter how hard u try to cover it up, Be ready for the worst jst incase it happens, But ur sister should know abt it,,cus she deserves to know.

All d best...My opinion though.

^^^^Yeah you are right bruv... Honestly I didn't take cognizance of his sister. Like the above poster stated, you owe your sister the truth. Irrespective of what you are gonna take as your next line of action, you have to open up to your sister too. Cause as it is, the both of you are in the same boat.

Please try to handle this with care and caution and employ your sister to do same so as not to break both homes altogether.

sunnydayasaba: I hardly comment, but after reading through I decided to comment on dis post, I see everybody advicing you to forgive ur wife and brother in law, but your forgetting something here, what about your own sister? Have u ever thought abt her too? Such guy can end up infecting ur sister wit deadly diseases because their is every tendency his going to continue cheating on ur sister with some other women aside ur own wife, what happens to her in that case? My friend, ur a victim and so is ur sister and as such, u must bring her into the matter, discuss with her and both of u can decide on the next line of action. The only thing u owe ur sister is protecting her and I think this is the right time to prove it. Dnt live wit the guilt of hiding such bad news frm her, cus if she finds out somehow that u knw abt it, she will never trust u again no matter how hard u try to convince her it was for gud. However, I think u need God intervention, I suggest u seek divine intervention, Talk to God in prayers. But no matter the outcome, no matter how hard u try to cover it up, Be ready for the worst jst incase it happens, But ur sister should know abt it,,cus she deserves to know.

All d best...My opinion though.

I agree with u. its so confusing cos of the web of issues which include:

1) My loving wife committed adultery without any reason according to her
2) This shameful act was done with my trusted friend,inlaw, and confidant
3) My sis is also involved in this issue cos her husband and my wife have betrayed her.

This becomes complicated. the most annoying thing is also that both my wife and her accompliance are insisting that they have no reason to do this and its not natural cos they dont undastand how it happened.I find it funny when people blame devil or unatural and the excuse for misguided behaviour

peciouslove:

I agree with u. its so confusing cos of the web of issues which include:

1) My loving wife committed adultery without any reason according to her
2) This shameful act was done with my trusted friend,inlaw, and confidant
3) My sis is also involved in this issue cos her husband and my wife have betrayed her.

This becomes complicated. the most annoying thing is also that both my wife and her accompliance are insisting that they have no reason to do this and its not natural cos they dont undastand how it happened.I find it funny when people blame devil or unatural and the excuse for misguided behaviour

You might just want the storm to get calm first... And ask your wife in a mild and non-judgemental manner. To tell you why she had to hurt you this much.

Dude,
Sorry u got a wrong girl.

Now,

1. Don't keep it in... It will shatter u!
Go tell ur sister, confront the husband, dissolve the business...dn listen to ur wife's mother and get a divorce!

2. Face ur life..like i said..u got the wrong girl.

3. Dnt wait for sympathy, dnt alllow people pity u, dnt wait as they try to talk u outta it...it will sink u!

4. Be flexible! Dnt build a wall around urself..have fun

5. If she has a baby for u..keep it...it will keep u going..

Dude..it aint easy..and i can bet it with u...if u think because someone is so big in ur hands, u shld listen to them, then u are a dead man!

U can't live seeing her face, and i doubt if u will even be able to have a normal sex with her..

U think lemme forgive her, with time, u will heal..

Dnt..

Sincere Sympathies

Haven suffered betrayal, don't punish yourself with the BURDEN of worry

Leave the culprits to nurture that for the rest of their lives

Withdraw from business deals with Him

If she has kids for you keep her. Dont spread the news beyond her parents & yours (the world is filled with immature hypocrates)

Don't report it to your sister, she may not be able to handle it, & she may not get a more saintly replacement

Only the STRONG have the courage to Forgive

Stay Happy, Cheers

oduz: Sincere Sympathies

Haven suffered betrayal, don't punish yourself with the BURDEN of worry

Leave the culprits to nurture that for the rest of their lives

Withdraw from business deals with Him

If she has kids for you keep her. Dont spread the news beyond your her parents & yours (the world is filled with immature hypocrates)

Don't report it to your sister, she may not be able to handle it, & she may not get a more saintly replacement

Only the STRONG have the courage to Forgive

Stay Happy, Cheers

Im in serious dilemna, many of family already knew between monday and today, Im undergoing pressure from her mum not to tell her Dad.She doesnt want her to come back and stay in their house...my family will have non of that.My sis isnt aware as at today, but my sis husband have been begging me ever since up to few minutes ago and request that we c.My spirit is down, im weeping intermitently...how im i going to survive this momemt? Im gradually loosing my wife...a marriage of less than one year! ,im loosing the relationship with my sis husband....my sis marriage will also likely crash....and i asked myself...GOD WHY ME? Please all remember me in your prayers.

Truth is, your sister still has to know.
Besides, all these their begging and crap is because you found out. Not as if they confessed!
I'm particularly pissed with your friend/inlaw. He's a monkey!

peciouslove:



Im in serious dilemna, many of family already knew between monday and today, Im undergoing pressure from her mum not to tell her Dad.She doesnt want her to come back and stay in their house...my family will have non of that.My sis isnt aware as at today, but my sis husband have been begging me ever since up to few minutes ago and request that we c.My spirit is down, im weeping intermitently...how im i going to survive this momemt? Im gradually loosing my wife...a marriage of less than one year! ,im loosing the relationship with my sis husband....my sis marriage will also likely crash....and i asked myself...GOD WHY ME? Please all remember me in your prayers.

Again, kindly PM me. Regards.

Mehn always take care of No1, if she cheated far away its much better, wit ur cousin and friend dats extreme.. pls run far or forgive her but don't eat her food, she can poison u!

peciouslove: I never knew where to start this from, but will make it short as possible. I'm a professional I live and work in lagos, and I'm married to the woman of my dreams...a very young girl.I got married after so. Many intervention by people around me... Cos initially I see nothin important in holy matrimony. But for intervention of important people in ma life I won't have been seemingly happy married. One of this people include. My very own yyounger sister husband, we were so close, much more than inlaws we were like smae family and friend. Infact we establish business together.. Dear friends I just discovered. That my friend, inlaw, my business. Partner. That I always rely on and talk to about everything including my wife was actually sleeping wth my wife and they are proffessing love to eachother! My world came to an end. I'm sharttered,nothin maakes sese to me again. I can't imagine this level of double edge betrayal could happen to me thouth it was only a nollywood story. Now my wife is begging me to forgive her, my wife's mum was crying and begging to forgive her and not tell anyone else cos that will ruin her marriage too if. I let the father know.. I can no longer concentrate on anything and I skip work today.I still don't know what to do to survive this high level betrayals by my two most trusted persons! I'm at a crossroad.. What will I do?

I was almost crying after reading tru ur story, it was a sad one indeed but d truth is, u hv got d wrong woman. She is a flirt nd she does not hv any atom of luv 4 u and she culd endanger ur life in d nearest future. Bros, plz run 4 ur life there is no sin in calling it quit under such an offence. The bible say he who find a wife find a gud tin and receivet favour frm d God bt u might be inviting caurse rather than favour if u continue to dine wit such a woman. An adage says what u will not accept wen u are rich, don't accept it wen u are poor bt if u decide to forgive her, always watch ur bk. Gudluck.

[quote author=peciouslove]

I agree with u. its so confusing cos of the web of issues which include:

1) My loving wife committed adultery without any reason according to her
2) This shameful act was done with my trusted friend,inlaw, and confidant
3) My sis is also involved in this issue cos her husband and my wife have betrayed her.

This becomes complicated. the most annoying thing is also that both my wife and her accompliance are insisting that they have no reason to do this and its not natural cos they dont undastand how it happened.I find it funny when people blame devil or unatural and the excuse for misguided behaviour





Be a man bro, We shall keep praying for u, All you need to do is weigh ur options and try and consider if u really still luv ur wife or not, Also consider if ur wife still luv u and willing to change....The truth is metaphysical things happen, so if both claim same, I suggest u also luk into it while making ur considerations. Remember forgiveness is d key here. All d best

I've been thinking of dis kind of scenario for d past week(not xactly like yours),but I had to wave that thought cos i realised I was bin paranoid,D truth is that loyalty and trust is something that is not 100% associated with women,dis is somethin we see in movie everyday,all d time e.g Vamp.diaries,Nikita,and some couple of indian films I've watch(we didn't pay attention to d lesson) and all of dem has thesame xcuse when caught,"Love" and then they appologise as if they didn't know it was wrong,wat i've observed is that most of the ladies might actually be in Love with some one,b4 they got married to you i.e they had to compromise,moral is b4 u get married to any girl beg and ask her if she loves some that she can't get over with, inorder to avoid cases like dis,as for OP forgive her and b patient,if possible let D two of them(i.e ur wife and friend) to get married,that is if u Can,I knw it's hard but thats d only way to still maintain ur relationship with them,be patient God will give u d one who truly loves you...but the fact still remains,"Trust is like a glass,once broken it can be amended but the crack still remains."

One more thing,why is your wife's mother so desperate no let her husband know?...don't u think she might also hav a similar track record?...Dude let's call a spade a spade,most Idealist will tell u to forgive her and move on,but the truth is that we all know is not that easy/possible,with some people they might forgive,but still live with her?No way...but ur wife too(no disrespect) is some how strange,just a year of getting married,is it that they knew themselves somewhere or what?

hmmnn. . .

lucenzo: Dump her sorry ass

gbam!!!no tym.
rubbish...