Mods please front page. This is serious matter .

I have also been pondering on why the mother in-law doesn't want her husband to know. You are very right,even if he forgives her,d whole incidence will forver be on his mind and this can even make the opp a serial cheater based on his experience, I have a friend that had this similar experience few years after his marriage, he forgave her and started cheating, the wife dint stop cheating, they both got tired and ended up divorcing. For a woman to cheat barely 1yr after marriage, check her past record she must have been a loose lady and always a cheater, mehn doing almost 2-3 men its too much,cheating may just be in her blood and she is putting your life at risk wit lots of STDS, even if you forgive her she'll know deep down your heart the incidence will still linger and If u don't inform your own family she can plot wit her mother to execute u and ur owwn family will neva b aware of what happened... please take heart best is file a divorce, we live in d era of grace, God will forgive u since divorce is a sin and start a neww family and next time watch a lady carefully b4 marrying her,d cheating tendencies must have been dre but u neglected d signs

Fkforyou: One more thing,why is your wife's mother so desperate no let her husband know?...don't u think she might also hav a similar track record?...Dude let's call a spade a spade,most Idealist will tell u to forgive her and move on,but the truth is that we all know is not that easy/possible,with some people they might forgive,but still live with her?No way...but ur wife too(no disrespect) is some how strange,just a year of getting married,is it that they knew themselves somewhere or what?

The pharasis ask Jesus, is it wrong to write a note nd divorce ur wife.
Jesus answered: it is because of ur hard heart moses allowed it, bt Gods will is dat d two will b one (dats forever), he said in mark 10:11 any who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her vice versa, also in matthew 19:9 Jesus say: i tell you that any1 who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.
It is on dis scriptures above i will advice you:- God is not please wit divorce, dats why Jesus said wat God has join let no man divide, in mathew d passage above Jesus said except for marital unfaithfulness dats wen the divorce can be permitted, but you must remain unmarried 4 d rest of ur life, if u do i mean marry again u have commited adultery which is a sin against God , wat can only brake a married is death dats d only time u are free to marry again (u will find it in 1 corinthians 7:39), dats why after seeing the implication or strong convernant (dnt know d word to ure here), the disciples said to Jesus if dis is d situation betwen a husband and wife, it is better not to marry (u will find dis in mathew 19:10) dat my little advice 4 u, it is left 4 u to choose either to divorce nd stay unmarried till death seperate u both, or u forgive and move on wit life.
Apostle paul gave dis advice is 1 corinthians 7: 10 it say: to the married i give dis command (I, not the Lord), a wife must nt separate 4rm her husband, but if she does she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife (vice versa). I believe i have past a message not just to u put to other here and in future to come

dmcdad: Dang! This is highly lugubrious. I know you must be in sixes and sevens at this juncture, completely gaga.

To be sincere with you, you are just not sharp at all. You are always with this guy whenever they exchange SMSs and you never noticed anything? And you were even blind from noticing from your wife too? Gosh! you know try at all. Anywayz, this is not about you.

I will view this the way I would react to it if I were in your shoes. Firstly, don’t have any beef sort of with the guy in question. Talk to him like nothing happened, but not lengthy anywayz, maybe greetings and the likes but make sure you guys are always on talking terms. Yet, you need to stay the heck away from him for life. Avoid his company when possible and make sure you are just limited to exchanging greetings with him to maintain the distance.

Secondly, if not for the fear of God, I would never have anything to do with a woman who is so strong-hearted as to hurt me. But, for the love and fear of God, there is always a re-think. So, my advice as regards your wife is; forgive her, but I know one thing is certain, your relationship with her can never be as strong as it were before now, at least for the time being. It is not easy to condone such from a partner especially when you are the kind that would never do that to her, it is something that would be very difficult to take as your life at this point in time would have taken a different turn. Even at that, I would enjoin you to tread carefully and approach this matter with caution while taking cognizance of the love and forgiveness of the almighty God.

I know you have been hit hard and as such, it takes the grace of God to overcome this quandary. Please, be merciful to her. Alot of peeps on here would be quick to tell you to dump her asś bla bla bla, but in reality they fail to recognise the oath people take when they pledge their love for eachother "for better or for worse" when they get married. Do you think that phrase is only applicable in financial or economic situations alone? Nope! It applies to cases such as this too. Its an oath you took in the presence of God and you must fulfil it come what may. That is why divorce is never an option for me because of my ideology towards marriage and also guided by my level of morality, ethics and spirituality.

Forgive her, I know the mark will be engraved for long, but try to fight the thought and gradually let it die a natural death. With time, the trust you have towards her can be rebuilt, although that will take much conviction. At this juncture, she will have alot to prove to you. And one thing you need to take into knowledge is, don't give her whatever suspicious look towards anything. If she wants to go somewhere all alone or she wants to do something that doesn't require the both of you in it, free her and don't give her the impression that you are suspicious of every move she makes (even if you actually do). I tell you bruv, unless she is a devil, she would never hurt you in such a way anymore. You know why? Because she is human with a conscience and and would live with that guilt of betraying your love and trust once. I think it would place her in good stead never to do anything that is slightly related to cheating.

All the best brah... I pray God gives you the right mind to bear this gruesome and excruciating pain, and to also help you to hearken to my words. Remember! I gave this to you the way I would treat it myself if I were in your position, in total consideration of my values and the way I handle situations. So, you might choose to do it some other way you deem it fit.

Have a blissful day.

I beg t disagree.
If u ve eva bin cheated on u will knw how difficult it is t Trust that person agaim talkless of wen its ur wife brazenly doing it under ur nose n f so long.

@o.p..
First of all,Take a Break from Work. ur in no state t b working n u shldnt allow this affect ur performance @work.
Secondly, take a time off f urself. leave ur house, stayb@ frnds, hotel wateva but tske a timeout f urself t tink n evaluate tins,ur feelings etc n enable u truly n honestly look at tins. prayerfully too
Thirdly,I believe u shld talk t an elder in ur family. they need t knw. someone u respect n trust. someone logical. someone that will advice u witout fear nor favor..
Fourthly, Divorce Is Actly An Option. bite me f saying dis but if u know u mite neva get ova dis, if dis will always create discord btw u two. if u knw u can never trust her sgain, den f d sake of ur unborn children, let her go. No child deserves t b born in an environment devoid of love n trust..
Lastly, u need t realise She as a woman is an Individual n her behaviour is not a reflection of majority of women out there. in other words, Dnt Take It Out on D Women folk outthere.

..n dont forget t pray thru ur hurt f Divine Guidance.

All d best man.. dis too shall pass

One oda tin, confront ur mother in-law cos I tink she mite ve bin privy t d relationship bf now hence her fear.

Your wife, mother-in-law and friend want you to keep it secret because of their plan-B. The plan-B is to send hired assassins to delete you. Thereafter, they will decide what to do with your sister. Continue living with death at your own risk.

My advice: Tell your mother, brothers, sisters and father-in-law today and right this minute before these people delete you. The next 5 minutes may be too late. Don't let these devils use God to blackmail you.

Richfella:

My brother, on the surface, it appears that something terrible has happened to you.

But in reality, this could be one of the best things to ever happen to you. Kindly PM me.

Please send me your private email

simpleseyi: Your wife, mother-in-law and friend want you to keep it secret because of their plan-B. The plan-B is to send hired assassins to delete you. Thereafter, they will decide what to do with your sister. Continue living with death at your own risk.

My advice: Tell your mother, brothers, sisters and father-in-law today and right this minute before these people delete you. The next 5 minutes may be too late. Don't let these devils use God to blackmail you.

Everybody knows about it now.... my sis is aware and my father in law, he waz short of word. My sis felt devastated and currently threatning to leave her husband...with 3 kids! My wife have been coming to the house begging and pleading(she said she dint understand what happened to her)but she has always been sent back by my cousin, for me I lack the emotional strenght to even do anything to her when she came...i was just starring at her blankly while she was crying and pleading. And another sad thing is i have a 7 months old baby wth her......

Some issues don't need people's opinion honestly...... This wil kip hunting u so long u don't do what u r supposed 2 do.....I bliv d right tin 2 do is ostracize her 4rm ur home coz d moment u banish ha believe u me d same moment she wil b banished 4rm ur life and life wil go on 4 u ma broda bt if u kip tinking abt wat 2 do u wil kip been hunted and if u decide 2 4give and kip her d tot of it wil kip u in a psycologically mental disorder state........ All dis immoral and devlish act is getting out of hand......ma broda plz back off 4rm d gul u call ur wife and d inlaw u cal ur bst frnd and biz partner...... If u kip dem d next step they wud take is 2 waste u so dey can fully have their way.....and wud advice as well 2 disinlaw him asap by making ur sis understand dt d man she is married 2 is a DEVIL....

sunnydayasaba: I hardly comment, but after reading through I decided to comment on dis post, I see everybody advicing you to forgive ur wife and brother in law, but your forgetting something here, what about your own sister? Have u ever thought abt her too? Such guy can end up infecting ur sister wit deadly diseases because their is every tendency his going to continue cheating on ur sister with some other women aside ur own wife, what happens to her in that case? My friend, ur a victim and so is ur sister and as such, u must bring her into the matter, discuss with her and both of u can decide on the next line of action. The only thing u owe ur sister is protecting her and I think this is the right time to prove it. Dnt live wit the guilt of hiding such bad news frm her, cus if she finds out somehow that u knw abt it, she will never trust u again no matter how hard u try to convince her it was for gud. However, I think u need God intervention, I suggest u seek divine intervention, Talk to God in prayers. But no matter the outcome, no matter how hard u try to cover it up, Be ready for the worst jst incase it happens, But ur sister should know abt it,,cus she deserves to know.

All d best...My opinion though.

GOD BLESS YOU FOR THAT OBSERVATION,WHAT ABOUT YOUR SISTER,SHE DESERVES TO KNOW.IF SHE GETS TO KNOW YEARS LATER, SERIOUS COMPLICATIONS COULD HAVE SET IN

I still wish I'm gonna wake and find out this is all a dream. I'm currenty depressed with presures from all sides, I'm currently in hospital bed for few days bed rest...

^^^^ I know this is depressing and all but C'mon, how long will you continue like this? I have tokd you to take the bull by the forelock.

No go kill yourself because of this matter ooooo. Handle this as a man and stop this play acting abeg. You are adding insult to injury

And when you hear news of someone pouring acid on a fellow man or woman, you wonder what's the reason behind it, right? Una c am na abi? It is things like this that drives man, a seemly godly being to the brink of insanity...

MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Boss13: How did you discover this?

peciouslove: And another sad thing is i have a 7 months old baby wth her......

I wept... I wept just for the sake of that child. What kind of world is this? Oh my God!

Nope... He is a Devil...

kwangi: Truth is, your sister still has to know.
Besides, all these their begging and crap is because you found out. Not as if they confessed!
I'm particularly pissed with your friend/inlaw. He's a monkey!

Fkforyou: One more thing,why is your wife's mother so desperate no let her husband know?...don't u think she might also hav a similar track record?...Dude let's call a spade a spade,most Idealist will tell u to forgive her and move on,but the truth is that we all know is not that easy/possible,with some people they might forgive,but still live with her?No way...but ur wife too(no disrespect) is some how strange,just a year of getting married,is it that they knew themselves somewhere or what?

The MIL has skeleton in her cupboard... The wife? Hmmm God help me.

This guy is too soft for my liking...

WTF??

This one is not a Mistake & no be devil cause am.... So,..... Let her.....BOUNCE, Nucca!

2s£xy:
The MIL has skeleton in her cupboard... The wife? Hmmm God help me.

Amen! You never make up your mind to remain single for life? Cause no wife remain ooooo. Na seminary me dey go from here straight away. Lol

Semi gini? For what na. I don't give up no matter what... That's me. Yes, naija chics are not helping matters but I won't give up.

I got one though... So, let's see what happenes. I have learnt to manage the 'love' so... Make dem no bomb my heart again. I love with my head not heart.

dmcdad:
Amen! You never make up your mind to remain single for life? Cause no wife remain ooooo. Na seminary me dey go from here straight away. Lol

if you truly love her forgive her from your mind and if she continues afterwards karma has a way of doing things.just give her that second chance......i have been a victim of such 3 times till she confessed am so good to be hurt.she left on her own......but my advice is show her all the love you can and let go i know its not easy but she will soon mess if the trait is in her....its good you caught her on time than later.the really truth is there is something special about her that you cant let go and besides it takes Gods grace to see a good woman out there because you cant monitor them always...pray and ask God to direct you.......its not easy bro

2s£xy:
Semi gini? For what na. I don't give up no matter what... That's me. Yes, naija chics are not helping matters but I won't give up.

I got one though... So, let's see what happenes. I have learnt to manage the 'love' so... Make dem no bomb my heart again. I love with my head not heart.

Your own good oooo. Pray for me make I get one oooo before I go so that I go do u-turn. Lmao

@dcm dnt say dt wife no remain again.Case of infidelity is not peculia t females alone.Op i pray dt God will giv u d heart t b strong.Its well

christabeli: @dcm dnt say dt wife no remain again.Case of infidelity is not peculia t females alone.Op i pray dt God will giv u d heart t b strong.Its well

I understand you sist. The truth is, it scares the shít outta me. Because I know when I tie the not, it's gonna be forever.

Bros, EVEN me dey fear now as I read the OP message oh.

I have been in brown study since, this sh*t is scary...

dmcdad:
I understand you sist. The truth is, it scares the shít outta me. Because I know when I tie the not, it's gonna be forever.

2s£xy:
Bros, EVEN me dey fear now as I read the OP message oh.

I have been in brown study since, this sh*t is scary...

I appreciate all for all your advice be rest assured all comments and advice makes me feel lighter.... im back at work this morning. My wife came to my hospital bed to "care for me as a wife" as she put it,she vowed if she ever do such again she shd bring curse on her self.. i was just starring at her... My advice to all who trust fellow human being 100% should thread softly.... the 2 confessed in the height of their passion they were saying everything they knew about us( me and and my sis ) to eachother! imagine if i had a dirty secret with my inlaw and best friend....imagine if i had backbite my inlaw in the presence of my wife.....it will have been in the public domain.For me even though i dont yet how i will get over this, but pls learn just few lessons from my misadventure into the path of friendship, relationship and marriage. Ofcourse its the grace of God that i kept calm and dint even raise my hand against my wife....and this may not likely make me hate other ladies or take it out on them.

I am glad you didn't raise your hand on her... Vow? What kind of vow? She had better go an marry the dude! How sure are you about the paternity of your 7 months baby?

Honestly, this woman can not be with you in bad times. It is crystal clear.

But how did your in-law become your best friend? What happened to those you went to school with, ate in same plate? What about your childhood friends? Or have you guys been family friends for long?

The truth of the matter is that the birds of same feathers just found themselves and plunge in with impunity.

However, that is death starring you in the eyes bro... She could easily poison you without thinking about it and she does not LOVE you. Do not be swayed be her sugar coated tongue.

I don't know about you but once I lost my trust or confidence in you, it can never be retained no matter how hard the culprit try, even if he/she claim to have become a born again. I can never trust you again. Yeah, we may laugh together but I will always doubt your laugh or smile.

I think you should at least let her know that you are not a fool; she still come around you because she knows you are soft and open to people. She has capitalize on your weakness. Hence,one of the reasons for the betrayal. She probably felt she can always beg and you will easily forgive her. It would be wise to give her warning.

I wonder what else could make her come around. No other reason because you are the soft kind of person and she has taken that softness for granted. That is your achilles' heel bro; a dent in your armour.

If tou keep acting cool, she will always assume you will forgive her and she could meander her way back into your heart.

Above all, it's your call what you wanna do. But please, don't act dumb. It would be better to let her know that under that soft heart, tender feel of your hands and broadened shoulder to lean on, there could also be a lion which no animal can mess with.

I just don't like the fact that she still comes around with such temerity. That is an insult... In the sense that:'what will he do? If I beg he will accept because he has soft had'

Goodluck.

peciouslove:


I appreciate all for all your advice be rest assured all comments and advice makes me feel lighter.... im back at work this morning. My wife came to my hospital bed to "care for me as a wife" as she put it,she vowed if she ever do such again she shd bring curse on her self.. i was just starring at her... My advice to all who trust fellow human being 100% should thread softly.... the 2 confessed in the height of their passion they were saying everything they knew about us( me and and my sis ) to eachother! imagine if i had a dirty secret with my inlaw and best friend....imagine if i had backbite my inlaw in the presence of my wife.....it will have been in the public domain.For me even though i dont yet how i will get over this, but pls learn just few lessons from my misadventure into the path of friendship, relationship and marriage. Ofcourse its the grace of God that i kept calm and dint even raise my hand against my wife....and this may not likely make me hate other ladies or take it out on them.

peciouslove:

I agree with u. its so confusing cos of the web of issues which include:

1) My loving wife committed adultery without any reason according to her
2) This shameful act was done with my trusted friend,inlaw, and confidant
3) My sis is also involved in this issue cos her husband and my wife have betrayed her.

This becomes complicated. the most annoying thing is also that both my wife and her accompliance are insisting that they have no reason to do this and its not natural cos they dont undastand how it happened.I find it funny when people blame devil or unatural and the excuse for misguided behaviour

A very clean solution to all this is to have you dead. My dear run for your life and expose this wickedness. Secrets are more deadly when untreated.

The marriage can still be restored, but not with hidden secrets. mind you its a larger conspiracy than you think. Please pray hard

peciouslove:

Everybody knows about it now.... my sis is aware and my father in law, he waz short of word. My sis felt devastated and currently threatning to leave her husband...with 3 kids! My wife have been coming to the house begging and pleading(she said she dint understand what happened to her)but she has always been sent back by my cousin, for me I lack the emotional strenght to even do anything to her when she came...i was just starring at her blankly while she was crying and pleading. And another sad thing is i have a 7 months old baby wth her......

Repentance and remorse is the only valid currency here. Since you are not God, a sidon look approach is wise, look more, consider more, and be less transparent about your intentions. you will get to the bottom of this pile and know if the marriage can be reset. like all bad experience time heals. God help you

[quote
author=dmcdad]
I understand you sist. The truth is, it scares the shít outta me.
Because I know when I tie the not, it's gonna be forever. Dnt be afraid just be urself walk on Gods path and wen u meet her ur case will b different.Everybody will not end up like d Op.

I used to cheat on guys soooo much. Everyone knows that. But i realised that i did that because i did not love those guys. Ever since i met the man i love and would hate to loose, i don't do that shit nomore. Mind u , it was just relationships and not marriage. In marriage one should never ever think of infedility. Especially the woman coz the welbeing of your family depends on u. M not usually one to tell people to quit as marriage is a blessed union but me knowing all that i have done and knowing what i know now, i would never forgive such an activity if i wer a man. I know what i am saying might have many insults here on NL but my brother i would think twice about forgiving this woman if i were u. Its not good what she and your friend did. she does not deserve u. lv her. go on holiday just to clear your mind and u will find a wife again. a real one this time

this is why i always say people must make sure they are ready before saying i do. coz marriage is no child's play. u can't get married just because your mates are doing it. u have to know all the responsibilities that come with it and do it only after u r sure that u can handle them


but hey if u r willing to forgive and forget its up to u coz u r the only one who knows the good qualities which r in her which u dnt want loose

Hmmmm...

Why would someone date a person they don't love?

PURE WICKEDNESS toying with men's emotion abi?

And you were eating their money while having fun.

I no wan talk pass like this.

Advice to young ladies reading this: if you know you don't love a guy, but you love yourself, DONT even date him. Like play like place headline go read: 'Boyfriend Beats girlfriend to death' ; ' Man Set Wife ablaze' etc.

Be careful who you play with in game and assume you are smart.

The quoted below may have been luck and you may not.

I hate women, girls and ladies who date someon they don't love. No other reason because of greed for something they hope to gain.

Monicasque: I used to cheat on guys soooo much. Everyone knows that. But i realised that i did that because i did not love those guys. Ever since i met the man i love and would hate to loose, i don't do that shit nomore. Mind u , it was just relationships and not marriage. In marriage one should never ever think of infedility. Especially the woman coz the welbeing of your family depends on u. M not usually one to tell people to quit as marriage is a blessed union but me knowing all that i have done and knowing what i know now, i would never forgive such an activity if i wer a man. I know what i am saying might have many insults here on NL but my brother i would think twice about forgiving this woman if i were u. Its not good what she and your friend did. she does not deserve u. lv her. go on holiday just to clear your mind and u will find a wife again. a real one this time

this is why i always say people must make sure they are ready before saying i do. coz marriage is no child's play. u can't get married just because your mates are doing it. u have to know all the responsibilities that come with it and do it only after u r sure that u can handle them


but hey if u r willing to forgive and forget its up to u coz u r the only one who knows the good qualities which r in her which u dnt want loose

christabeli: Dnt be
afraid just be urself walk on Gods path and wen u meet her ur case
will b different. Everybody will not end up like d Op.

Thanks. I pray ooooo