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How To Get A Nigerian Man To Marry You - Romance - Nairaland

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How To Get A Nigerian Man To Marry You by DonDraper: 12:00pm On Aug 14, 2013
Getting a Nigerian man to marry you is the
easiest thing in the world. This is your chance to
stop being single and get a-mingling. These easy
steps will get you married, bedded, bare foot and
pregnant in less than a year, guaranteed or your
money back.


-- Be very religious. Nigerian men loveeeee them
some religious girls. you don't actually have to be,
you just have to pretend that you are. talk about
the night vigils you go to every now and then. slip
in some Bible passages in random conversations
even when they don't fit in. Give him a Bible for
his birthday. call him randomly for "morning
prayers". a nigerian man will marry a woman who
appears to be religious. fake it till you get that
ring baby girl.


-- Pretend to be maternal. Pretend that you love
children so much. especially other people's
children. coo at them at grocery stores, malls,
lounges, planes. talk about how much you love
children. carry his friends' kids all day long. offer
to help feed them. it doesn't matter that you
don't love other people's kids and think that
children can be such Joysticks from a very early age,
it should not matter. pretend girl. you're
auditioning to be his baby popper, act like one.


-- Don't ever mention that you're a "feminist".
femi-gini? that poo don't live here miss. Bleep
women rights. accept all traditional roles even
when you're dating. when you are dating him,
make sure his food is ready as soon as he walks
through that door Dam. it doesn't matter that
you're in school or you are also working like him,
poo like that don't matter. you have to show your
man that you can put your back into it and be
that super woman who will clean, cook, pop your
back in bed and still pop out those kids.


-- You gats deny all them man them. Have you
ever had sex? made out with someone?
ummm...you don't have to tell your Nigerian man
that. when you're asked your body count is 1 or
2, never more than 3 though cos you're already
side stepping into whoredom. never mind that
your Nigerian man's count is like 54, who cares?
he's only out there bleeping everything in skirt so
that he can impress you in bed. all of what he
does is for you, you ingrate!! he's out there
putting his joystick in everything in other to come
home and please you in bed and you have the
guts to say you have a body count of more than
3? if any man claims he has slept with you, cry
and swear that you know no such man. refer to
rule number 1, start quoting Bible passages about
how your enemies are chasing you and poo.
that whole subtracting 7 from your body count is
bullshit. you only have 3 choices: 1, 2, or 3. other
than that, you might as well just remain single.


-- A Nigerian man has needs that only you can't
meet. you have to give him some joystick room.
why are you being selfish? let men be men. let
them have wings to fly. don't be asking him why
he came home late. you smell perfume on him?
be happy that some girl is keeping him
moisturized and smelling all good. that's one
thing you don't have to do today. Let them have
some fun girl, you just want that ring on your
finger don't you? relax. that diamond that you
can instagram with well manicured fingers is
coming.


-- Last but not least, cook up a storm!!! your man
should not be going hungry. cater to his food
palette girl!! if you don't cook for him some other
girl will cook for him and steal him away. cook
him new delicacies all day, find out how his
mother used to do it, cook for his friends too.
why do you want to eat in restaurant? Dam
please use that money and take your Bottom to the
grocery store and make that man some food. let
him save that money he would have used to take
you out on your ring darling. be wise. a stitch in
time saves nine.


This is my good deed for the day. Let him who
have ears, listen or something like that.

5 Likes

Re: How To Get A Nigerian Man To Marry You by Nobody: 12:10pm On Aug 14, 2013
Gawd! This article and the O.P are both wick.ed. More reason why i hope people i know dont visit nairaland.
This article is for desperate ladies.

1 Like

Re: How To Get A Nigerian Man To Marry You by daisyella: 12:19pm On Aug 14, 2013
So d morale of dis story is pretend 2 b who u r not juz 2 get a ring undecided. Dis advice is for desperados Mtcheeew.

1 Like

Re: How To Get A Nigerian Man To Marry You by Andyblaze: 12:51pm On Aug 14, 2013
Rubbish!

1 Like

Re: How To Get A Nigerian Man To Marry You by Caracta(f): 12:54pm On Aug 14, 2013
Crap!

1 Like

Re: How To Get A Nigerian Man To Marry You by carzola(m): 12:59pm On Aug 14, 2013
After shaking your head i realised two rusted knuts inside...

2 Likes

Re: How To Get A Nigerian Man To Marry You by Nobody: 1:05pm On Aug 14, 2013
Lol, this article is what most ladies of today already do. One babe shld tell me im wrong lemme se angry angry
Re: How To Get A Nigerian Man To Marry You by Bibol(f): 1:06pm On Aug 14, 2013
And again i ask, worrisdis undecided?
Re: How To Get A Nigerian Man To Marry You by Enegod(m): 1:16pm On Aug 14, 2013
well said..bravo bro...this will really help some girls that are desperate to get married..
Re: How To Get A Nigerian Man To Marry You by ayobase: 1:59pm On Aug 14, 2013
Some ladies are already acting like they don't care....."...se church deeper life lo n lo ni....l

If its not in you, then its not in you....u can't always pretend!
Re: How To Get A Nigerian Man To Marry You by DonDraper: 3:29pm On Aug 18, 2013
Na joke oooo for more visit efemenaoreoluwa.blogspot.com/?m=1
Re: How To Get A Nigerian Man To Marry You by MrsChima(f): 4:21pm On Aug 18, 2013
grin

Naija men don suffer!

1 Like

Re: How To Get A Nigerian Man To Marry You by Nobody: 4:24pm On Aug 18, 2013
-- Be very religious. Nigerian men loveeeee them
some religious girls. you don't actually have to be,
you just have to pretend that you are. talk about
the night vigils you go to every now and then. slip
in some Bible passages in random conversations
even when they don't fit in. Give him a Bible for
his birthday. call him randomly for "morning
prayers". a nigerian man will marry a woman who
appears to be religious. fake it till you get that
ring baby girl

SMH
Re: How To Get A Nigerian Man To Marry You by iterator24: 4:38pm On Aug 18, 2013
Sad but true

2 Likes

Re: How To Get A Nigerian Man To Marry You by Chomzy19(f): 10:37pm On Aug 18, 2013
U SAID IT ALL sweetie, Nig men jst want Wife's wit all these gud qualities, a virtous bt very adept woman on bed, a gud cook who will nt jst a HW, she hs to wrk n bring sth to d table but then again prepare d food on tym b4 u re home n d house mst b immaculate n in order, d wife who wont nag dt u keep hanging out till midnight wit ur unmarried malefriends, who will let them b d boys they re after all boys will b boys n still respect them, nay worship d 'Boy'... If u really re interested in dt ring it's a gud advice, jst mk sure u throw in d tantrums occassionally to show u re still human n mk ur act convincin... After d mrrg is a diff story, u'll laff y he complains my wife hs totally changed! A man will always fynd wat he is lukin for
Re: How To Get A Nigerian Man To Marry You by Chomzy19(f): 10:41pm On Aug 18, 2013
ayobase: Some ladies are already acting like they don't care....."...se church deeper life lo n lo ni....l

If its not in you, then its not in you....u can't always pretend!
no u cant... U can pretend till u get d ring though; once there is a will there is a way
Re: How To Get A Nigerian Man To Marry You by Chomzy19(f): 10:42pm On Aug 18, 2013
ayobase: Some ladies are already acting like they don't care....."...se church deeper life lo n lo ni....l

If its not in you, then its not in you....u can't always pretend!
no u cant... U can pretend till u get d ring though; once there is a will there is a way.
Re: How To Get A Nigerian Man To Marry You by donblacky(m): 12:09pm On Aug 19, 2013
Na wa ooooooo......smh.
Re: How To Get A Nigerian Man To Marry You by DonDraper: 6:21pm On Aug 19, 2013
100% correct stereotype!
Re: How To Get A Nigerian Man To Marry You by preciousan(f): 7:16pm On Aug 19, 2013
DonDraper: Getting a Nigerian man to marry you is the
easiest thing in the world. This is your chance to
stop being single and get a-mingling. These easy
steps will get you married, bedded, bare foot and
pregnant in less than a year, guaranteed or your
money back.


-- Be very religious. Nigerian men loveeeee them
some religious girls. you don't actually have to be,
you just have to pretend that you are. talk about
the night vigils you go to every now and then. slip
in some Bible passages in random conversations
even when they don't fit in. Give him a Bible for
his birthday. call him randomly for "morning
prayers". a nigerian man will marry a woman who
appears to be religious. fake it till you get that
ring baby girl.


-- Pretend to be maternal. Pretend that you love
children so much. especially other people's
children. coo at them at grocery stores, malls,
lounges, planes. talk about how much you love
children. carry his friends' kids all day long. offer
to help feed them. it doesn't matter that you
don't love other people's kids and think that
children can be such Joysticks from a very early age,
it should not matter. pretend girl. you're
auditioning to be his baby popper, act like one.


-- Don't ever mention that you're a "feminist".
femi-gini? that poo don't live here miss. Bleep
women rights. accept all traditional roles even
when you're dating. when you are dating him,
make sure his food is ready as soon as he walks
through that door Dam. it doesn't matter that
you're in school or you are also working like him,
poo like that don't matter. you have to show your
man that you can put your back into it and be
that super woman who will clean, cook, pop your
back in bed and still pop out those kids.


-- You gats deny all them man them. Have you
ever had sex? made out with someone?
ummm...you don't have to tell your Nigerian man
that. when you're asked your body count is 1 or
2, never more than 3 though cos you're already
side stepping into whoredom. never mind that
your Nigerian man's count is like 54, who cares?
he's only out there bleeping everything in skirt so
that he can impress you in bed. all of what he
does is for you, you ingrate!! he's out there
putting his joystick in everything in other to come
home and please you in bed and you have the
guts to say you have a body count of more than
3? if any man claims he has slept with you, cry
and swear that you know no such man. refer to
rule number 1, start quoting Bible passages about
how your enemies are chasing you and poo.
that whole subtracting 7 from your body count is
bullshit. you only have 3 choices: 1, 2, or 3. other
than that, you might as well just remain single.


-- A Nigerian man has needs that only you can't
meet. you have to give him some joystick room.
why are you being selfish? let men be men. let
them have wings to fly. don't be asking him why
he came home late. you smell perfume on him?
be happy that some girl is keeping him
moisturized and smelling all good. that's one
thing you don't have to do today. Let them have
some fun girl, you just want that ring on your
finger don't you? relax. that diamond that you
can instagram with well manicured fingers is
coming.


-- Last but not least, cook up a storm!!! your man
should not be going hungry. cater to his food
palette girl!! if you don't cook for him some other
girl will cook for him and steal him away. cook
him new delicacies all day, find out how his
mother used to do it, cook for his friends too.
why do you want to eat in restaurant? Dam
please use that money and take your Bottom to the
grocery store and make that man some food. let
him save that money he would have used to take
you out on your ring darling. be wise. a stitch in
time saves nine.


This is my good deed for the day. Let him who
have ears, listen or something like that.
Rubbish! #SMH#
Re: How To Get A Nigerian Man To Marry You by bennyraz: 10:03pm On Aug 19, 2013
100% endorsed by the federal ministry of bennyraz
Re: How To Get A Nigerian Man To Marry You by Nobody: 10:51pm On Aug 19, 2013
Got me laughing (esp. d loving kids, cooking sides grin)

To be honest with you @op, any girl that replicates this or puts it into real practice will sure get the ring from a Nigerian guy but....

It is suicidal!!! Times have changed. Nigerian men now think towards divorce unlike in the past. So ladies, don't try this if u want a happy lasting marriage.

If you can, practice most of it and work towards making them a part of u even though some are bad.

Its a good manual for ladies desperate to get the ring temporarygrin

1 Like

Re: How To Get A Nigerian Man To Marry You by MrsChima(f): 11:41pm On Aug 19, 2013
Ladies....if you want a Nigerian man less than a week....follow these easy steps.

1. Buy a fake USA or EU passport or borrow from a friend/family member.

2. Dress very un-African and adopt a Western accent.

3. Go to the popular places in Nigeria (if you are in Nigeria) and flash your passport with a smile.

3a. If you are online....just post a picture with a copy of your passport...Viola!

Congratulations. ...you have just won a Nigerian man. grin

1 Like

Re: How To Get A Nigerian Man To Marry You by babeonline(f): 3:06am On Aug 20, 2013
Mrs.Chima:
Ladies....if you want a Nigerian man less than a week....follow these easy steps.

1. Buy a fake USA or EU passport or borrow from a friend/family member.

2. Dress very un-African and adopt a Western accent.

3. Go to the popular places in Nigeria (if you are in Nigeria) and flash your passport with a smile.

3a. If you are online....just post a picture with a copy of your passport...Viola!

Congratulations. ...you have just won a Nigerian man. grin
I couldn't have said it better. grin grin

2 Likes

Re: How To Get A Nigerian Man To Marry You by Enegod(m): 6:51am On Aug 20, 2013
Mrs.Chima:
Ladies....if you want a Nigerian man less than a week....follow these easy steps.

1. Buy a fake USA or EU passport or borrow from a friend/family member.

2. Dress very un-African and adopt a Western accent.

3. Go to the popular places in Nigeria (if you are in Nigeria) and flash your passport with a smile.

3a. If you are online....just post a picture with a copy of your passport...Viola!

Congratulations. ...you have just won a Nigerian man. grin
this is poo...total poo
Re: How To Get A Nigerian Man To Marry You by DonDraper: 7:16am On Aug 20, 2013
Mrs.Chima:
Ladies....if you want a Nigerian man less than a week....follow these easy steps.

1. Buy a fake USA or EU passport or borrow from a friend/family member.

2. Dress very un-African and adopt a Western accent.

3. Go to the popular places in Nigeria (if you are in Nigeria) and flash your passport with a smile.

3a. If you are online....just post a picture with a copy of your passport...Viola!

Congratulations. ...you have just won a Nigerian man. grin


MrsChima I totally disagree.. Enegod ur head dey there... not every naija guy is EU/US crazy and when u eventually marry such a lady u will end up under her control (which we all know is against african tradition). No naija man wants slavery at the hands of his wife! In addition, marrying an EU/US citizen doesnt guarantee wealth, u still need to hustle hard. The only benefit therein is the structured environ and claims for kids education (eg UK). What naija men want is a loyal, respectful, motherly and church going wife! Shikena.. Fit d descriptn, Get d Ring!
Re: How To Get A Nigerian Man To Marry You by DonDraper: 7:18am On Aug 20, 2013
Mrs.Chima:
Ladies....if you want a Nigerian man less than a week....follow these easy steps.

1. Buy a fake USA or EU passport or borrow from a friend/family member.

2. Dress very un-African and adopt a Western accent.

3. Go to the popular places in Nigeria (if you are in Nigeria) and flash your passport with a smile.

3a. If you are online....just post a picture with a copy of your passport...Viola!

Congratulations. ...you have just won a Nigerian man. grin


MrsChima I totally disagree.. Enegod ur head dey there... not every naija guy is EU/US crazy and when u eventually marry such a lady u will end up under her control (which we all know is against african tradition). No naija man wants slavery at the hands of his wife! In addition, marrying an EU/US citizen doesnt guarantee wealth, u still need to hustle hard. The only benefit therein is the structured environ and claims for kids education (eg UK). What naija men want is a loyal, respectful, motherly and church going wife! Shikena.. Fit d descriptn, Get d Ring!

1 Like

Re: How To Get A Nigerian Man To Marry You by Nobody: 7:55am On Aug 20, 2013
Mrs.Chima:
Ladies....if you want a Nigerian man less than a week....follow these easy steps.

1. Buy a fake USA or EU passport or borrow from a friend/family member.

2. Dress very un-African and adopt a Western accent.

3. Go to the popular places in Nigeria (if you are in Nigeria) and flash your passport with a smile.

3a. If you are online....just post a picture with a copy of your passport...Viola!

Congratulations. ...you have just won a Nigerian man. grin
Your own guide will also work on some gullible-minded Nigerian men and those who have lost vision and drive in Nigeria @Mrs.Chima...but no need to flash the passport, if you're online, saying it and talking more about your wish to be home plus how u miss Nigerian foods and talking more of time difference and weather is enough to tell him that u are squatting abroadgrin and watch the proposals roll ingrin

Don't blame the Nigerian guys, blame it on the corrupt government and past leadersgringrin

You guys won't kill me with laughter heregringrin
Re: How To Get A Nigerian Man To Marry You by Nobody: 8:14am On Aug 20, 2013
DonDraper:


MrsChima I totally disagree.. Enegod ur head dey there... not every naija guy is EU/US crazy and when u eventually marry such a lady u will end up under her control (which we all know is against african tradition). No naija man wants slavery at the hands of his wife! In addition, marrying an EU/US citizen doesnt guarantee wealth, u still need to hustle hard. The only benefit therein is the structured environ and claims for kids education (eg UK). What naija men want is a loyal, respectful, motherly and church going wife! Shikena.. Fit d descriptn, Get d Ring!
You spoke with wisdom...why hurry to migrate abroad when European economy and American economy are shaking and many of their citizens loosing their jobs and more people becoming poor abroad.

Sometimes I pity people living abroad: u work round the clock like jerk, u sleep less...u pay huge tax, u don't even have enough freedom to spend your money. Some sleep 4hours in a day...some 12hours in a whole week and still they aren't millionaires, for what

The only good thing abroad is good environment which u can still get if ur fortunate to make it here in Nigeria.

Aside good environment, security and few other things, living permanently abroad is nothing but advanced slavery.

Though success-driven Nigerians living abroad are there to prepare themselves to come face Nigerian economy not to stay permanently without achieving anything.

I thank God Nigerians are beginning to realise that there is no place like home. The rush for abroad has expired!!! Home is the best...if u wanna be a billionaire, stay in Nigeria. But if u want daily bread, travel abroad!!!!

Anyway, Mrs.Chima was only cracking jokes I guesssmiley

God bless Nigeria.

1 Like

Re: How To Get A Nigerian Man To Marry You by MrsChima(f): 11:50am On Aug 20, 2013
babe_online:
I couldn't have said it better. grin grin

grin grin grin
Re: How To Get A Nigerian Man To Marry You by babeonline(f): 12:09pm On Aug 20, 2013
DailyNews: You spoke with wisdom...why hurry to migrate abroad when European economy and American economy are shaking and many of their citizens loosing their jobs and more people becoming poor abroad.

Sometimes I pity people living abroad: u work round the clock like jerk, u sleep less...u pay huge tax, u don't even have enough freedom to spend your money. Some sleep 4hours in a day...some 12hours in a whole week and still they aren't millionaires, for what

The only good thing abroad is good environment which u can still get if ur fortunate to make it here in Nigeria.

Aside good environment, security and few other things, living permanently abroad is nothing but advanced slavery.

Though success-driven Nigerians living abroad are there to prepare themselves to come face Nigerian economy not to stay permanently without achieving anything.

I thank God Nigerians are beginning to realise that there is no place like home. The rush for abroad has expired!!! Home is the best...if u wanna be a billionaire, stay in Nigeria. But if u want daily bread, travel abroad!!!!

Anyway, Mrs.Chima was only cracking jokes I guesssmiley

God bless Nigeria.
Very true. I so agree with you.
Re: How To Get A Nigerian Man To Marry You by MrsChima(f): 12:58pm On Aug 20, 2013
DonDraper:


MrsChima I totally disagree.. Enegod ur head dey there... not every naija guy is EU/US crazy and when u eventually marry such a lady u will end up under her control (which we all know is against african tradition). No naija man wants slavery at the hands of his wife! In addition, marrying an EU/US citizen doesnt guarantee wealth, u still need to hustle hard. The only benefit therein is the structured environ and claims for kids education (eg UK). What naija men want is a loyal, respectful, motherly and church going wife! Shikena.. Fit d descriptn, Get d Ring!

Keep on disagreeing....a sucker is born everyday. wink

Embassies are making billions of dollars/nairas yearly. It doesn't matter if a handful of Nigerians decide to stay home...Embassies accept money from ANYBODY. grin

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