A friend told me about his dilemma in Lagos yesterday. Hear him...


****

I have been driving in Lagos for like six months since I got my first car for 350,000 naira after saving so hard for it. I don't think I'll ever been in such a state all because my dreams came through.

It all happened yesterday when I went to a bank to deposit money for someone. When I got to the bank, the parking space was filled up, there was no space for me to park. I looked up, saw a bus-stop close to the place and decided to park there thinking I won't be spending much time inside the bank and perhaps it is a bus-stop.

When I finished from the bank, I got to where my car was parked. Alas! the space was empty. I couldn't think straight as what first came to my mind was that my car has been stolen. It took me about five minutes to compose myself together and think straight. I decided to ask people around so I approached a woman selling roasted plantain close to where my car was parked. "Oh! Na ur car? LASTMA don carry am. You fit cross to the other side maybe you go still fit see them, sorry oh!" The woman said shaking her head.

At that moment, I was speaking grammar, "that's stealing, how can my car be towed at the bus-stop. Is it a crime to park at the bus-stop" When it dawned on me that my car will not be recovered by speaking grammar, I made several frantic efforts to make solid enquiries from people around and I was told to check LASTMA's office at Anthony or Oshodi.

I quickly took the next available bus to Anthony and when I got there, my car was not there. I was asked to check at there office in Oshodi. When I got to Oshodi, I told them my dilemma and they assisted in checking the list of cars that had been towed in. Luckily, my plate number was found there. I don't know whether to be elated or depressed. I was asked to check the car park, unknown to me, there are two parking spaces: commercial and private. I rushed to one and at the entrance, I was asked to pay 100 naira (as gate fee or what). I was perplexed, I just wanted to see my car. I paid and checked the car park, my car was not there. I was then asked what type of car I'm looking for. I told them and they said I would have checked the other side. I went to the other side and was asked to pay 100 naira. Again! I begged that I've paid at the other car park entrance. They allowed me to check, I saw it there and was a bit relieved.

I asked how to go about it to get my car released. I was told that the officials that brought the car here were from Anthony division and not Oshodi division. I was asked to check one Mr ... at the Anthony division who's in charge. I tried to ask one or two people about what happened but got no favourable response, it's just like an everyday thing because nobody seemed surprised.

I decided to go home and rest so that I can go back to the Anthony unit the next day. I took a bus home but when I got to Anthony something inside of me asked me to go down and atleast ask for the person. I got down and crossed the expressway, some men accosted me that I've committed an offense. "An offense" I was surprised and told them that my name now is offense. I was asked to go and see 'the oga at the top'. I just flared up, shouted at them and formed a frustrated man at the same time narrating my ordeal. I left them angrily as if I'm ready to kill somebody.

I left there without looking back and gracefully they did not followed me. I went to the LASTMA office, asked for the man in charge. I saw him and he said I should see the secretary. The secretary gave me a ticket and on the ticket was 40,000 naira. The secretary explained further that I am required to do eye test, blood test and brain test costing 2500, 3500 and 7000 naira maybe respectively I can't even say now. I tried to beg but all pleas fell on deaf ears.
I was even told to get the money and test down fast because each day the car spend in there office, I'll pay 1000 naira as security fee.


I seek people's opinion at the office and all I was told was that if I've not been ticketted, there's still hope but as it is now, there is little or nothing anyone could do expect with the interference of any 'oga at the top'.

I don't know any 'oga at the top' and the money according to my calculation is 53000 naira excluding the security fee of 1000 naira each day all because I ignorantly parked at a bus-stop.

I got home, I couldn't even explain to my wife. I was visibly angry even to my kid. I have to hit her for the first time, I couldn't eat neither was I able to sleep.

*****



Welcome to Lagos, I just put this piece up here so that other learners like my friend can learn.

jhydebaba: A friend told me about his dilemma in Lagos yesterday. Hear him...


****

I have been driving in Lagos for like six months since I got my first car for 350,000 naira after saving so hard for it. I don't think I'll ever been in such a state all because my dreams came through.

It all happened yesterday when I went to a bank to deposit money for someone. When I got to the bank, the parking space was filled up, there was no space for me to park. I looked up, saw a bus-stop close to the place and decided to park there thinking I won't be spending much time inside the bank and perhaps it is a bus-stop.

When I finished from the bank, I got to where my car was parked. Alas! the space was empty. I couldn't think straight as what first came to my mind was that my car has been stolen. It took me about five minutes to compose myself together and think straight. I decided to ask people around so I approached a woman selling roasted plantain close to where my car was parked. "Oh! Na ur car? LASTMA don carry am. You fit cross to the other side maybe you go still fit see them, sorry oh!" The woman said shaking her head.

At that moment, I was speaking grammar, "that's stealing, how can my car be towed at the bus-stop. Is it a crime to park at the bus-stop" When it dawned on me that my car will not be recovered by speaking grammar, I made several frantic efforts to make solid enquiries from people around and I was told to check LASTMA's office at Anthony or Oshodi.

I quickly took the next available bus to Anthony and when I got there, my car was not there. I was asked to check at there office in Oshodi. When I got to Oshodi, I told them my dilemma and they assisted in checking the list of cars that had been towed in. Luckily, my plate number was found there. I don't know whether to be elated or depressed. I was asked to check the car park, unknown to me, there are two parking spaces: commercial and private. I rushed to one and at the entrance, I was asked to pay 100 naira (as gate fee or what). I was perplexed, I just wanted to see my car. I paid and checked the car park, my car was not there. I was then asked what type of car I'm looking for. I told them and they said I would have checked the other side. I went to the other side and was asked to pay 100 naira. Again! I begged that I've paid at the other car park entrance. They allowed me to check, I saw it there and was a bit relieved.

I asked how to go about it to get my car released. I was told that the officials that brought the car here were from Anthony division and not Oshodi division. I was asked to check one Mr ... at the Anthony division who's in charge. I tried to ask one or two people about what happened but got no favourable response, it's just like an everyday thing because nobody seemed surprised.

I decided to go home and rest so that I can go back to the Anthony unit the next day. I took a bus home but when I got to Anthony something inside of me asked me to go down and atleast ask for the person. I got down and crossed the expressway, some men accosted me that I've committed an offense. "An offense" I was surprised and told them that my name now is offense. I was asked to go and see 'the oga at the top'. I just flared up, shouted at them and formed a frustrated man at the same time narrating my ordeal. I left them angrily as if I'm ready to kill somebody.

I left there without looking back and gracefully they did not followed me. I went to the LASTMA office, asked for the man in charge. I saw him and he said I should see the secretary. The secretary gave me a ticket and on the ticket was 40,000 naira. The secretary explained further that I am required to do eye test, blood test and brain test costing 2500, 3500 and 7000 naira maybe respectively I can't even say now. I tried to beg but all pleas fell on deaf ears.
I was even told to get the money and test down fast because each day the car spend in there office, I'll pay 1000 naira as security fee.


I seek people's opinion at the office and all I was told was that if I've not been ticketted, there's still hope but as it is now, there is little or nothing anyone could do expect with the interference of any 'oga at the top'.

I don't know any 'oga at the top' and the money according to my calculation is 53000 naira excluding the security fee of 1000 naira each day all because I ignorantly parked at a bus-stop.

I got home, I couldn't even explain to my wife. I was visibly angry even to my kid. I have to hit her for the first time, I couldn't eat neither was I able to sleep.

*****



Welcome to Lagos, I just put this piece up here so that other learners like my friend can learn.

Ode!

hmm... good learning post

Ode-man why did u quiote the whole post just to say ode

biolabee: hmm... good learning post

Ode-man why did u quote the whole post just to say ode

Na so oh!

This is hilarious. Eye test, blood test, brain test, fertility test, genetic test...

Why you sef no ask the Security men at the bank before parking? If everyone decide to park at bus stop you go see road pass? I bet you didn't go to driving school, now you will have to pay learner fee at 400% increase

Btw make i no hear say you hit madam again else you go receive another ticket and this time na you them go tow

Obiagelli: Why you sef no ask the Security men at the bank before parking? If everyone decide to park at bus stop you go see road pass? I bet you didn't go to driving school, now you will have to pay learner fee at 400% increase

Btw make i no hear say you hit madam again else you go receive another ticket and this time na you them go tow

Thank you!

Asoozy:

Thank you!

Obiagelli: Why you sef no ask the Security men at the bank before parking? If everyone decide to park at bus stop you go see road pass? I bet you didn't go to driving school, now you will have to pay learner fee at 400% increase

Btw make i no hear say you hit madam again else you go receive another ticket and this time na you them go tow

We all make mistakes, so my dear, let us leave the blame game rather allow others to learn from him. Thank you

jhydebaba:
We all make mistakes, so my dear, let us leave the blame game rather allow others to learn from him. Thank you

True that, reason why i never drive to an area i am visiting for the 1st time

I remember a time in Lagos when you have to pay to park.
There were many parking meters everywhere.
Just beside mile 12 market was a car crushing facility where all unclaimed vehicles were simply crushed.
On a personal note, I think there are too many cars on Lagos road.
The state government should beef up (which fashola is doing already) the public transportation system and impose a ghastly congestion and vehicle license charge,like Singapore that most people would think twice about buying a car.
What is it abou nigerians and cars and other status symbol.
From what you have written, I proclaim you guilty.
How can you park at a bus stop thereby impeding traffick flow.
Elsewhere , you can lose your license and if your bad behaviour results in an accident,
You will land yourself a lengthy jail sentence
Nigerian have become used to lawlessness that for them , it is a new normal.

It is very easy for these LASTMA to fall victim to BH car bomb then. What if you had Bombs planted there? I am sure they have no equipment to scan such vehicle as the go round with that their Uniform made from curtain material.

Na wa o! 53k just for parking at a bus stop! Thank god I read this before I started my driving lessons and I think I also need to google up 'driving laws' in naija before I start dashing some eediots money anyhow!

Welcome to Lagos.

Before I park or turn into a street /road, I now slow down or park and check for any hidden sign-posts. If i don't see any, I still ask from by-standers....just to be extra sure.

I've fallen into their trap b4 and i try to be smarter than them now.

ba7man: Welcome to Lagos.

Before I park or turn into a street /road, I now slow down or park and check for any hidden sign-posts . If i don't see any, I still ask from by-standers....just to be extra sure.

I've fallen into their trap b4 and i try to be smarter than them now.

I have seen LASTMA guys and their stooges stand delibrately in front of sign posts expecially ( no U turn ) to prevent drivers from seeing it. That is their new trap

OP.. U suppose dey write for Wale Adenuga Production o!

Hilarious, Fictitious, N Jumboparadious!!!

Brimmie: OP.. U suppose dey write for Wale Adenuga Production o!

Hilarious, Fictitious, N Jumboparadious!!!

Do you drive a car in Lagos


If yes, try and park ur car at a busy bus-stop in Lagos at peak period. Before u know it, u'll turn to Wale Adenuga urself because ur own story'll make a good soap opera

Godmother: Na wa o! 53k just for parking at a bus stop! Thank god I read this before I started my driving lessons and I think I also need to google up 'driving laws' in naija before I start dashing some eediots money anyhow!

Well, it's not only 53k that u'll pay, there are other hidden charges as well

I'll gist u guys what happened before the car was released later.

I feel your pain, but we all got to start doing things the right war for the sake of other road users and the society in general.

Kpele, just pay up and do wrong no more..

@OP if you have not recovered the car simply negotiate and sell it to any buyer,pay the charges and go with the balance......I don't know which is easier for you to raise the 53k,with the stress of all the test or to sell the car.....What if after the test it is confirmed that you have eye problem or there is some mass of fluid in your brain?

SMH Lagos na wah!!!

LASTMA, how market