The Nigerian church market is probably the biggest and certainly one of the fastest growing in the world. reliable sources peg the size of the market at approximately 10% of Nigeria's GDP.

A unique superstitious culture, bundled with the adverse effects of colonialism, less than par educational system and decades of political and economic failures by visionless leadership has predicably led to permanent state of ARRESTED Development.
This arrested development has led to widescale confusion, hopelessness and fragmented realities for 150 million citizens of this resource rich nation.

It is this confusion and fragmented realities that is seen as the inexhaustible resource for the churchprenuers all over the world. This resource is said to be more abundant than oil.

Therefore, this religous or church market is fluid and very dynamic, and most of all, it a very open market that is always ready to absorb any new religion or religious product.

Although there are already major big players in this multi-billion dollar market, there is always room for any new entrant that has something unique or stranger than the rest.

For example, we have the deeply entrenched European churches like catholics, Anglican , methodist, etc, then we have the American merchantilist varieties with their " Name it and Claim it" prosperity campeigns , then we have the African flavoured white garment varieties wit their witches, wizards and prophesies.
Even the mormons are steadily moving in their American jesus and American New jerusalem.

In Nigeria, the mantra seems to be that " If you can sell it, we will buy it", and of course, the more ridiculous the better reception.

So, the point of this is that it is neigh time the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster(FSM) is introduced into the Nigerian church market.

The FSM comes with many attractive features well suited tot he Nigerian church market.
First, it is new.
It is in vogue,
It attracts nerds, geeks and yuppies in major cosmopolitan cities around the world.
It has mystery.
It has divine revelation.
It has prophesy
It has a benevolent Monster and food themes that is guaranteed to win of the lost minds and hungry mouths of Nigerians.
And, it is a trinity of Spaghetti, Meatballs, and Holy Sauce.

And lastly, you can save 10% of your income by simply churching with us.

However, what we are not sure at this time is how the competition will receive the FSM church.
Although We do expect some initial hostility, but we are not sure of the scale of hostility to expect from the PFN(The Pentecostal Fraudsters Of Nigeria) who have aggressively cornered a sizable chunke of the market, and guard it jealously.

Anyway, I am seeking opinions and feedback on how to proceed and what to expect.
Your inputs will be highly appreciated...

And, you can also indicate your interest by registering here.

May the almighty FSM nourish and be with you.

^^^

are we going to be allowed to come to church with our brain?

nnofaith: are we going to be allowed to come to church with our brain?

Yeahhhh.

Obviously you will need your brain to understand the gospel of the FSM.

*follows thread*.....@OP.....may ur life be covered with the holy sauce.....RAmen....

killsmith: *follows thread*.....@OP.....may ur life be covered with the holy sauce.....RAmen....

We must collect some form of tithes oooo

Ramen no dey grow on trees, you know

And best of all, heaven has a BEER VOLCANO!!

onetrack: And best of all, heaven has a BEER VOLCANO!!

cold beer volcano!

plaetton: The Nigerian church market is probably the biggest and certainly one of the fastest growing in the world. reliable sources peg the size of the market at approximately 10% of Nigeria's GDP.

A unique superstitious culture, bundled with the adverse effects of colonialism, less than par educational system and decades of political and economic failures by visionless leadership has predicably led to permanent state of ARRESTED Development.
This arrested development has led to widescale confusion, hopelessness and fragmented realities for 150 million citizens of this resource rich nation.

It is this confusion and fragmented realities that is seen as the inexhaustible resource for the churchprenuers all over the world. This resource is said to be more abundant than oil.

Therefore, this religous or church market is fluid and very dynamic, and most of all, it a very open market that is always ready to absorb any new religion or religious product.

Although there are already major big players in this multi-billion dollar market, there is always room for any new entrant that has something unique or stranger than the rest.

For example, we have the deeply entrenched European churches like catholics, Anglican , methodist, etc, then we have the American merchantilist varieties with their " Name it and Claim it" prosperity campeigns , then we have the African flavoured white garment varieties wit their witches, wizards and prophesies.
Even the mormons are steadily moving in their American jesus and American New jerusalem.

In Nigeria, the mantra seems to be that " If you can sell it, we will buy it", and of course, the more ridiculous the better reception.

So, the point of this is that it is neigh time the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster(FSM) is introduced into the Nigerian church market.

The FSM comes with many attractive features well suited tot he Nigerian church market.
First, it is new.
It is in vogue,
It attracts nerds, geeks and yuppies in major cosmopolitan cities around the world.
It has mystery.
It has divine revelation.
It has prophesy
It has a benevolent Monster and food themes that is guaranteed to win of the lost minds and hungry mouths of Nigerians.
And, it is a trinity of Spaghetti, Meatballs, and Holy Sauce.

And lastly, you can save 10% of your income by simply churching with us.

However, what we are not sure at this time is how the competition will receive the FSM church.
Although We do expect some initial hostility, but we are not sure of the scale of hostility to expect from the PFN(The Pentecostal Fraudsters Of Nigeria) who have aggressively cornered a sizable chunke of the market, and guard it jealously.

Anyway, I am seeking opinions and feedback on how to proceed and what to expect.
Your inputs will be highly appreciated...

And, you can also indicate your interest by registering here.

May the almighty FSM nourish and be with you.

any miracle??
Without miracle, no body will look ur face

tobechi20:


any miracle??
Without miracle, no body will look ur face

tobechukwunnaya....lord of chosen no gree give u miracle again?

killsmith: tobechukwunnaya....lord of chosen no gree give u miracle again?

who is dis

i am tobechi not tobechukwunanya,

i am not of chosen but catholic

my post was a joke..

plaetton:

Yeahhhh.

Obviously you will need your brain to understand the gospel of the FSM.

Wouldn't this defeat the purpose?

wiegraf:

Wouldn't this defeat the purpose?

Well, just like our christian intellectuals such as like Anony, Davidilan, etc, one would need a high level of intellectual sophistry to navigate the murky waters of sacred scripture.
lol.

FSM evolution.

This is the most holy Prophet of FSM.
His is a pirate named captain Mosey, and here we see him receiving holy scripture from the divine FSM.

A picture is worth a thousand words.

This where FSM theology dovetails with biblical scripture.

plaetton: This where FSM theology dovetails with biblical scripture.

If you are wise you won't let it dovetail with any established religion. Establishments don't take kindly to 'upstarts'.

Lord_Reed:

If you are wise you won't let it dovetail with any established religion. Establishments don't take kindly to 'upstarts'.

is he henderson?

killsmith: is he henderson?

Errr, sorry who is Henderson?

To attract a large number of docile sheep, I'll advice u to totally discourage rational thinking among ur congregation. Don't allow them the use of their brain. U might want to insert one or two verses in ur holy book promising them some unrealistic rewards (after death, of course) and some frightening eternal damnation if anyone of them think,ask questions, search for verification or doubt the monstousity of the FSM.

scaler345: To attract a large number of docile sheep, I'll advice u to totally discourage rational thinking among ur congregation. Don't allow them the use of their brain. U might want to insert one or two verses in ur holy book promising them some unrealistic rewards (after death, of course) and some frightening eternal damnation if anyone of them think,ask questions, search for verification or doubt the monstousity of the FSM.

You also need to control people's lives with the scrpitures. Focus on essential and natural things: You can only eat during even hours of the day, you can only use the rest room four times a day (#1 & #2 combined), you have to have pasta every other meal, etc. It would also be helpful to impose completely unnecessary surgical procedures: Every man must have his right ear lobe cut off. Every woman the left...

NoProphecy:
You also need to control people's lives with the scrpitures. Focus on essential and natural things: You can only eat during even hours of the day, you can only use the rest room four times a day (#1 & #2 combined), you have to have pasta every other meal, etc. It would also be helpful to impose completely unnecessary surgical procedures: Every man must have his right ear lobe cut off. Every woman the left...

that should be reserved for the extrimist part of FSM whorship. i do hope we are going to have extrimists?

nnofaith: that should be reserved for the extrimist part of FSM whorship. i do hope we are going to have extrimists?

Oh. We have plans for that too.
Afterall, what would religion be without some wacko fringe extremist elements?

^^^

Like every other world religion such as Roman Catholicism and Islam, we need to spawn many disfunctional children.

plaetton:

Oh. We have plans for that too.
Afterall, what would religion be without some wacko fringe extremist elements?

Don't hate on the Orthodox/fundamentalist Pasatafarians.

#

As a Pastafarian, I am receiving an auto-suggestion (revelation in layman term) from the monstrous FSM.

Still downloading .........

scaler345: To attract a large number of docile sheep, I'll advice u to totally discourage rational thinking among ur congregation. Don't allow them the use of their brain. U might want to insert one or two verses in ur holy book promising them some unrealistic rewards (after death, of course) and some frightening eternal damnation if anyone of them think,ask questions, search for verification or doubt the monstousity of the FSM.

this is d best advice u can get remember to package ur ideas well to attract more mumu sheeps in dis mumudom(according to femi kuti) so if u need help holla ur guy o for advert and miracle session u can contact tb joshua ministry for training dats if u dont mind.goodluck with ur sheeps