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Chukwufunanya - Literature (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Chukwufunanya by Nobody: 8:13am On Aug 27, 2013
Read your diary, then stalked you here. Nice story. Following like a lamb.
Re: Chukwufunanya by Nobody: 8:39am On Aug 27, 2013
mollytinrox: Read your diary, then stalked you here. Nice story. Following like a lamb.
Thanx dear
Re: Chukwufunanya by Nobody: 8:40am On Aug 27, 2013
mollytinrox: Read your diary, then stalked you here. Nice story. Following like a lamb.
Thanx dear.....
Re: Chukwufunanya by Deiok(m): 9:00pm On Aug 27, 2013
Try and get another phone, so that your writing will be clear.
Cause the way your write up is conjoin together will make one to read hurriedy.
Re: Chukwufunanya by Nobody: 9:50am On Aug 28, 2013
As a child,I totally digged the idea of going to a government school,since most kids in the area then went to one.
At first when we came,we shed our "Butter" skins and tried to flow with neighbors though it was easy for my brothers,it was a totally different thing entirely for me.As a kid I was always active,playful and restless but as I got older my personality underwent some changes.I became less active and outgoing,so the kids at first were thinking I was a snub caused whenevr I was invited to play,I would decline preferring rather to bury my nose in my books.Needless to say,this didn't win me any points with the neighbourhood kids.So I got varities of nicknames like "Mama book" and other names most of them having to do with the shape and size of my head.Everyone in my family could be identified by just looking at our heads.We all had similar heads and protruding foreheads too and it wasn't easy for us at all.All sorts of things were said. About our heads like;
"See them family of "Eds";Edwin Edward Edgar and Edina"
"Igbo pple are very headed"
"Hammer head of horror"
While this last one we coined from the bible by ourselves;
"By their heads,you shall know them".
The only good thing was that we were very intelligent also,all of us.
There was a day I was coming back from school,and a boy just ran past me and was shouted;
"See your 4by4 head;Head for two"
That day I wept home to my mum and asked her why God had to give us this kind of trouble_causing head,and she told me that God knew that if he gave me the normal size of head,both my brains won't fit in,since evryone else got one,and God gave me too hence my intelligence.So when I got insulted because of my head,I would give them that reply,and it won me more enemies in school cause it was usually the dullards who chose to pick on me.
So you see why school wasn't really "it" for me.I loved it as long. As the teacher was in class,but as soon as she steps out,the ribbing begins.I was doing extremely well educationally, but socially,I flopped.My teacher used to remark on my term report
"She very intelligent and gentle,but too quiet and not playful."
A situation which I rectified later in the future,big time.
Re: Chukwufunanya by yemi2plus(m): 12:06pm On Aug 28, 2013
Vickii Ro: All sorts of things were said. About our heads like;
"See them family of "Eds"; Edwin, Edward, Edgar, and Edina"
"Igbo people are very headed"
"Hammer head of horror"
While this last one we coined from the bible by ourselves;
"By their heads,you shall know them".
I laughed while reading this part
Re: Chukwufunanya by Nobody: 3:33pm On Aug 28, 2013
yemi2plus2:
I laughed while reading this part
Nor be small somthng ooooooo
Re: Chukwufunanya by Deiok(m): 5:32pm On Aug 28, 2013
yemi2plus2:
I laughed while reading this part
Nah that one you go see. gringringrin
Re: Chukwufunanya by Nobody: 7:52pm On Sep 03, 2013
Jst got back frm camp(twas grt)..So I'll be u¶dating tomorrow.
Re: Chukwufunanya by Shugamania(f): 8:37pm On Sep 03, 2013
Where have i been?
I never too late sha, still on season 1.

More ink to ur pen, Vickii.




Deiok: Try and get another phone, so that your writing will be clear.
Cause the way your write up is conjoin together will make one to read hurriedy.

grin
No make me laff abeg.

Make she buy new phone because of NL abi..
Or u'll lend her yours?
Re: Chukwufunanya by Deiok(m): 9:28pm On Sep 03, 2013
Shugamania: Where have i been?
I never too late sha, still on season 1.

More ink to ur pen, Vickii.






grin
No make me laff abeg.

Make she buy new phone because of NL abi..
Or u'll lend her yours?
Na bad thing i do abi.
Or u like the way her write up be so.
Re: Chukwufunanya by Deiok(m): 9:34pm On Sep 03, 2013
Vickii Ro: Jst got back frm camp(twas grt)..So I'll be u¶dating tomorrow.
Welcome back. We miss you very much.
Abeg update upto like three tomorrow.
Re: Chukwufunanya by Nobody: 7:29am On Sep 06, 2013
Sorry guys,I had 2 flash my fone and my older bro wouldn't let me use his lappie.
Thanx for ur patience,update in a bit.
Re: Chukwufunanya by Nobody: 7:29am On Sep 06, 2013
As the years went by,Chukwufunanya (me) grew up,then life really began.
I grew up in a christian home where you don't miss church for anything if you don't want a spanking from my dad.Though,as time went by each one of us heeded to their own calling,inside or outside the church, like I'll always say whatever works for you.
Back then,we used to hold these programmes in the children departments,and we danced,sang, did other presentations like drama or playlets,and sometimes we read the news which was always my thing.I recall the first time I read the news in church,as soon as I was through,an aunty in church just ran out and met me halfway to my sit and lifted me up and was going on and on about how fluent I was,for a kid,how she wanted her kids to be like me and all that.I was like wow,so I'm this good cause to me,it was not a big deal just doing what I like doing in front of the whole church;reading.
My whole life then constituted of just church,school,and home.It helped a lot back then,cause looking back now the friends I made there helped me a lot in my developing years,even till now cause been pre-occupied with other stuff didn't leave me with much time for stuff other girls like myself were going crazy over like boys,fashion,make-up and such.My disinterest back then earned me another set of nicknames ranging from "girl-boy" meaning tomboy, "Mary Amaka" cause I didn't wear trousers, "and a host of others,e that each for everything I didn't do like my mates.My classmates in secondary school names me "Terry_g" cause of the way I talk;very fast.I got "Motor -cycle" cause I didn't walk like a girl:very fast.I figured really early that I wasn't the girly type,so I adjusted to suit the new image.I loved sports,books,hanging out with guys.
I can recall the look on my mum's face the day told her I wanted to become a footballer.She freaked out and went on and on about how her onl daughter was never going to be a footballer.The next one I came up with was that I wanted become a nun. She almost called a family meeting then for my sake.Its so funny looking back now and trying to match the me then,with the me now.
I was a handful then,no doubt. But what my parents never understood was how I continues to excel academically despite my frequent misadventures.My term report mostly read
"She's quiet and gentle,intelligent and well behaved".
My mum would read it and be like "well behaved?".Okay here's how it happened,after primary school,I dropped the quiet attitude and picked up the tomboy thing.I was always puctual in school,attentive during classes and did my assignments.But the minute the teacher leaves the class,I'll be the first to shout
"That referee na heavy agbaya, see the kind mumu penalty when he blow give Man-u,yesterday".
Or
"Oboy Nepa dey do anyhow sha, as "storm over paradise"(A mexican soap opera) won start an I'm demk just take light yesterday".
And so,the noise will start,but if a teacher is passing by and hears the noise,he/she might come in and punish everybody,but not me.I was the good girl,who never talked.If only they knew.
Re: Chukwufunanya by Nobody: 7:31am On Sep 06, 2013
After I confirm some details in the next chapter,I'll update.
Re: Chukwufunanya by Deiok(m): 8:47am On Sep 06, 2013
Nice update. You should try and update faster cause it like youre still in the early stage of your story.

i like this update than the provious ones, the part you said "But the minute the teacher leaves the
class,I'll be the first to shout
"That referee na heavy
agbaya, see the kind mumu
penalty when he blow give
Man-u,yesterday". Or
"Oboy Nepa dey do anyhow
sha, as "storm over
paradise"(A mexican soap
opera) won start an I'm demk
just take light yesterday. " .
Re: Chukwufunanya by Deiok(m): 8:51am On Sep 06, 2013
Please just try and update faster, cause you are kinda of losing followers, because of slow update.
Re: Chukwufunanya by Nobody: 11:15am On Sep 06, 2013
Noted Deiok...Thanx
In abt 2hours I'll be done.
Re: Chukwufunanya by Nobody: 6:50pm On Sep 06, 2013
I somehow wiped off all I typed,nd I'm kinda too busy 2 re-type..so guys ple tomorrow afta d wedding ceremny in my church...Thanx all

1 Like

Re: Chukwufunanya by Nobody: 9:24am On Oct 03, 2013
Blanked out dere for weeks
I av no idea wen I'll be able 2 type anything,I've been out of sorts fr weeks nw.
My apologies guys,cnt promise u anything.For all dose who r mad @ me.. Sorry,I jst cnt.
Thanx guys
NL Most tired pikin
Vick!!.
Re: Chukwufunanya by princesa(f): 1:38pm On Oct 03, 2013
are you sure, you're in my family tree? sad
Re: Chukwufunanya by Nobody: 6:57pm On Oct 03, 2013
princesa: are you sure, you're in my family tree? sad
I branched out sis
I cnt write a line 2 save my hair nw.
I cn comment on threads,bt wen it comes down to writing,I jst blank out.Dunno wat's wrong with me oo
Re: Chukwufunanya by Nobody: 7:05pm On Oct 03, 2013
.
Re: Chukwufunanya by Deiok(m): 7:37pm On Oct 03, 2013
So you're just gonna abandon this story eh,
Re: Chukwufunanya by DEllaluv(f): 4:04pm On Oct 04, 2013
Dnt tnk she'll abandon d story wen she fnds sth to write she go come,bt no b lyk sm writers wey no dey finish tori biko vicki
Re: Chukwufunanya by Nobody: 4:31pm On Oct 04, 2013
I won't abandon d story guys,jst give me sometime.
Re: Chukwufunanya by Nobody: 3:14pm On Oct 25, 2013
"Hello,...Hey...Excuse me"
I just kept walking on,like I didn't hear the voice hollering at me from upstairs.
I had come for rehearsal in church,and decided to go get some snacks when this boy started disturbing my life,with series of "Heys"...."Excuse me"...and all that.I was quite used to all the pestering I usually get from boys,but this particular one wasn't giving up,him and his friend!.I passed by their house the first time and dey were whistling,hollering @ me and all,and I ignored them.If they meant business,they would climb down,and approach me like normal human beings.
I was coming back,and same thing happened.I got to church,and after rehearsal,Cynthia, a friend of mine asked me to see her off to the junction.On our way,we passed by the one storey buildiing where those two !diots were,and true to form,they started hollering at us this time again,I was already preparing what insults to haul at them,when Cynthia jst said
"Let's go inside"
"Eh!...I pray o!" Was my instant reply.
"I just wan see my friend joor" she said already dragging me with her,toward the compound gate.
"Abeg naooo...we nor go stay tay,I just wan collect my note from Luke" She insisted.At that, I finally agreed.
"Ok...Make 2 minutes nor meet us for inside ooo,if not I go just find my way dey go house,as I dey here so,I nor fit shout" I said,not ready to give in so easily.
"Ok,ok,I don hear"
I was 13 at the time and in JSS3.
We got inside and the next thing Cynthia sad was
"Funanya meet Luke my boyfriend,Luke meet Funanya my friend"
I was shell-shocked and couldn't say anything,Luke had to take my hand in his for a handshake before I managed to mumble out
"Pleased to meet you Luke" We both knew I was just being nice,jst for show.
"Funanya,can you please wait for me here first,lemme take the note from Luke's room?
I was about to ask her if he couldn't just go in and bring it out and let's get out of here when his friend who had being quiet all these while tapped me on the shoulder
"I've being calling you"
"Oh" I said raising an eyebrow derisively, as I saw those actress do in movies(I had being practicing it for weeks).
"I can't recall" I said folding my hand across my chest.
"Oh stop it,"He said "By the way,I am Austin,but friends call me BG,short for Black Gold"
I almost scoffed at that.Black gold, more like white iron...I hissed mentally.
"And you are Funanya,"he continued, the way he said it showed he expected me to be suprised,well I wasn't.
"Well,aren't you going to ask how I knew your name?" He said smiling
"I'm not deaf" I simply said.
"Uh" He said confused
"Cynthia jst addressed me by that name now,right?" I said
"Oh yeah...right" He said pretending to have forgotten.
Child's play,I thought to myself.
I was already getting impatient,what was Cybthia even doing there that she was delaying naooo.
I turned around to go outside,only for me to turn to doorknob and found it locked.
"Who locked the door"? I said,as I turned to look at Austin.
"I did" He said smiling mischievously.
"What for?" I queried,getting scared already but not showing it .
"I wanted to be alone with you" He said getting serious now.
I didn't like the sound of that,at all.

2 Likes

Re: Chukwufunanya by DEllaluv(f): 3:55pm On Oct 25, 2013
Wow,wlcm bak.....d Austin no fit do anytn
Re: Chukwufunanya by Nobody: 4:30pm On Oct 25, 2013
D.Ella.luv:
Wow,wlcm bak.....d Austin no fit do anytn
Thanx dearest
Hmmm...let's waiit nd see abt Austin
Re: Chukwufunanya by Nobody: 7:25pm On Oct 25, 2013
"If you know what's good for you Austin,you would open this door" I said already bristling with a mixture of anger and fear.
"Come on,wetin you dey feel like sef" he said reverting to pidgin english, He kept drawing nearer to me and I kept stepping back.
I looked around frantically,trying to look for a way out,I saw that the room where Cynthia entered with Luke was locked,I wondered what they were doing inside,though I had an idea what.I was even surprised I could think about Cynthia when I was in a precarious position myself.
"Step back!" I was beginning to sound panicked,and I wasn't liking it.
"Step back Austin,I'm not joking now" I said sounding a little bit calmer,trying to get myself under control.
I felt my leg pressing against something, I turned back and saw that I was standing in front of a chair,another step backward and I would have fallen and tumbled.
"I...." My voice faded away as I saw Austin standing just in front of me.
"What?" He said inquiringly,lifting his full eyebrows.His lips are making sense,I thought
Stupid!my brain screamed at me,I pushed my hands against his chest trying to put some space between the both of us.
He was lifting up hs hands,and without waiting to find out why,I pushed him with all my might and ran to the door.I jacked,pushed and pulled at it,but the door refused to budge.He stood up and came towards me,that was when I found my voice and shouted
"Cynthia!Cynthia!Cynthia oooooooo!"
He ran towards me and covered my mouth with his hands,I kicked,scratched,all to no avail.He towered above me,with a muscular frame with strength to match which I felt as he wrapped those arms around me.
"Shut up!" He said into my ear,and dumped me on the cushion.I was about to start screaming again,when I heard keys jiggling,I looked up and saw him opening the door.
He held the door open,and motioned for me to go out
"Sorry,if I freaked you out,I just wanted to talk"He said
I just kept looking at him,then all of a sudden my brain registered what he was saying.I scrambled to my feet and ran out, I was just wearing my slippers when it started raining,heavily.
I cursed my luck,as I was being drenched,the wind blew the rain towards where I stood outside the flat,and I started shivering. I just stood there and started crying,overwhelmed with all that had happened that day.
I started as I felt a hand on my shoulder, it was Cynthia,I shrinked back from her touch really annoyed with her.
"Funanya,come inside,chuooo...why you go stand outside make rain dey beat you for here?...you well so?.." She said sounding exasperated.
I resisted at first,but gave in as she drew me inside,too tired to argue with her.
I got inside and saw Austin busy with his phone,he looked up as we came in.I shivered visibly at that and Cynthia noticed cause she looked at the both of us, but said nothing.She just went into Luke's room and brought out a fluffy towel for me to dry myself.I dried myself and handed the towel back to her.The shivering had lessened,but I was still cold.We sat in silence as it continued to rain,Cynthia brought me hot tea and that helped to lessen the cold,and I felt a lot better.
Luke came out from the room,and asked what happened,but got no reply from any of us,as I and Cynthia were visibly angry and Austin didn't look like he was gonna say anything either.He looked at the three of us,shrugged and went back inside to whatever it is he was doing.
"P..p..p..p square..P square.."
"We're back again"
That was the sound of someone's phone ringing,Cynthia and I looked up,as Austin picked up the phone he had dropped.
He hissed and dropped the phone back.
The rains stopped and I bade Luke goodbye,all the while avoiding looking at Austin.
As soon as we stepped out,The inqusition started
"Wetin Austin do you?" Cynthia asked
"Nothing,we just argue one kind issue, na iim he come make me vex" I improvised,not willing to go into details with her or anyone else.
"U sure?" She asked skeptically
I wasn't a very good liar,but I managed to get her off my back and we parted ways at the junction.
I decided to forget about what happened that day,convincing myself I wasn't going to see Austin again.
Just that d fates thought different...

2 Likes

Re: Chukwufunanya by DEllaluv(f): 11:02am On Oct 26, 2013
Whch knd tlk pesin wan tlk,he cm lock door

1 Like

Re: Chukwufunanya by Nobody: 11:45am On Oct 26, 2013
Na evening things ooo
Busy now

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