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Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego - Jokes Etc (28) - Nairaland

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Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by Kezifils(m): 12:49pm On Sep 30, 2014
A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents'
house
for dinner. This is her first time meeting
the
family and she is very nervous. They all
reclined at
the dinning for a meal. The woman is
beginning to feel quite uncomfortable,
thanks to her
nervousness and the broccoli casserole.
The gas
pains are almost making her eyes watery.
Left with
no other choice, she decides to relieve
herself a
bit and lets out a dainty little fart. It wasn't
loud,
but everyone at the table heard the poot.
Before
she even had a chance to be
embarrassed, her
boyfriend's father looked over at the dog
that had
been snoozing at the women's feet, and
said in a
rather stern voice, "Ginger!" The woman
thought,
"This is great!" and a big smile came
across her
face. A couple minutes later, she was
beginning
to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't
hesitate. She let a much louder and
longer fart
rip. The father again looked at the dog
and yelled,
"Dammit, Ginger!" Once again the woman
smiled
and thought, "Yes!" A few minutes later
the
woman had to let another one rip. This
time she
didn't even think about it. She let rip a fart
that
rivaled the whistle of a moving train .
Again, the father
looked at the dog with disgust and yelled,
"Dammit, Ginger, get away from her
before she
shits on you!"

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 4:03am On Oct 01, 2014
Warri Ofego Episode Seventeen
--------------- ------------

Ofego walked into school in the morning with a swollen face. All eyes fell on him. A teacher at the entrance to the school subway asked him; Warri Ofego what happened? Armed robbers. Ofego replied with a squeeze on his face. After the morning assembly the whole teachers gathered round him. He told them what they want to hear; Lies! He twisted the

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/10/warri-ofego-episode-seventeen.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 4:34am On Oct 01, 2014
What Happened When I Went Hunting In A Forest
--------------- ------------

I used to hunt. Don't look at me with that scornful look. I used to hunt. Not hunting for girls o, hunting for animals. Was actually doing it with a friend. It got to a point that an American pilot came all the way from America, not South America o, U.S Of A, The United States Of America, and hired us to help him get some bush meats. He dropped us off at the forest with his private jet and

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/10/what-happened-when-i-went-hunting-in.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 4:51am On Oct 01, 2014
Outcome Of Past Nigeria Independence See Them Here
--------------- ------------

I was given admission into a university, Delsu, Delta State University Abraka, to study history, not my dream course, my substitute course. Those that wrote JAMB will understand. After screening and stress in file submission, I appeared in class, not as a witch doctor but as a student. The Lecturer

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/10/outcome-of-past-nigeria-independence.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by kornexify(m): 7:49am On Oct 01, 2014
njuwo: Three business associates, an Igbo man, a
Yoruba man and a Chinese man, went to eat
lunch together at a restaurant in Surulere.
While in the middle of their meal, a fly came in
through the window. It flew across the table
to where the Igbo man was but he just
waved his hands to chase it away.
The fly then went to where the Yoruba man
was, he also chased it away.
Finally, the fly then went to where the Chinese
man was and was flying close to his ears. The
Chinese man looked at the fly for sometime
and then grabbed it, put it in his mouth and
swallowed it.
The other men saw this but just kept on
eating.
About Five minutes later, another fly came in
and flew to the Yoruba man who just chased
it away again.
It then flew on to the Igbo man but this time
he did not chase the fly, he looked at it for
sometime and then grabbed it. He then
turned to the Chinese man and asked "how
much you go buy am?"
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 4:14pm On Oct 01, 2014
Bird Rapist Discovered In Nigeria
--------------- ------------

During the 2007 bird flu widespread, I was living with my uncle who had a poultry farm. Something related to the plague but not the plague, claimed the lives of all his roosters one evening. He made an order for a new rooster, a young one this time. As the rooster was brought home the next morning, it rushed and slept with all the 153 hens. My uncle

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/10/bird-rapist-discovered-in-nigeria.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 5:02am On Oct 02, 2014
Rat In My Room Revenge
--------------- ------------

Learn from my mistake here, you could be a victim if you don't read this, but God forbid, so read, and know how to tackle it if it comes. Getting calls from strange numbers can be scareful and stressful at the same time. One called me and said; Hello? Hello, who am I speaking with? I asked. The voice asked; I guess I'm speaking with Mr Ofego? I said; Yes! You are speaking with Mr Ofego, who is this please? The person queried; So you

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/10/rat-in-my-room-revenge.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 7:02am On Oct 02, 2014
How To Stop Someone That Snores At Night From Snoring
--------------- ------------

My car broke down one night in a small town, Emevor, in Delta State, while I was coming from a show. Every hotel room in the town had been taken. I got to the last hotel and begged; You must have a room somewhere or just a bed. I don't care where! The manager said; Well, I do have a double room with one occupant and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/10/how-to-stop-someone-that-snores-at.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 7:26am On Oct 02, 2014
Mugabe Makes Another Blunder
--------------- ------------

I was watching Around Africa on Channels TV late last night and the president of Zimbabwe, Robert Mugabe was the guest. He was asked; Sir, you have been president for 32 years. When

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/10/mugabe-makes-another-blunder.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 5:38pm On Oct 02, 2014
I was chatting with a girl on BBM. This girl is beautiful o, if you see her picture she is like mami water. She told me her parents are rich. Sake of say I don't want to fall my hand, I told her my parents are rich too. She asked me to snap a picture of our house and share it to her. I was on the road then, and thanked God I was close to a beautiful mansion, so I snapped the house and shared it to her. She asked me if I was in front of the house, I said yes! The gate opened and she came out. It was their house!

See more at: http://www.njuwo..com
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 4:54am On Oct 03, 2014
Warri Ofego Episode Eighteen
--------------- ------------

Ofego rushed Onos to an hospital. You should thank God he survived the hit. His case would have been a sorry one. Here is a list of what to get for him to recover quickly. Ofego collected the list from the Doctor. As he was going to get them he went through the list, Corn Flakes, Golden Morn, Geisha, Sardine and Lucozade Boost. Where do I get money to buy all these? Ofego asked himself. Onos wants to eliminate me before my time but he wouldn't succeed. He will

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/10/warri-ofego-episode-eighteen.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 5:14am On Oct 03, 2014
Japanese Couple Arguing
--------------- ------------

Have you ever seen a Japanese couple arguing? Its fun! A Japanese couple argued heavily in public recently.

Husband: takamushi jiku.

Wife: hashi jiku mishihe.

Husband: inamoto kushini hatapi.

Wife: jejeta takuna mota shinita.

Husband: ki

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/10/japanese-couple-arguing.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:15am On Oct 03, 2014
See This Girl Want To Eat Me And Run But I Showed Her
--------------- ------------

I had been dating and spending money on this girl for long. I picked up her phone one day and got to know that my name was stored as FOOL 40. Whaaaat? See insult on my personality! I had to do something and this is what I did. I

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/see-this-girl-want-to-eat-me-and-run.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 1:11pm On Oct 03, 2014
Man Who Just Got Married Falls In Love With His New Neighbour
--------------- ------------

My Bros that wedded his sweetheart Temitope, not quite long ago, is now in love with his new neighbour o. Will I blame him? The girl is more beautiful and down to earth than his wife na. But does it worth it? I got to know of this, due to my constant visit to the area. Last friday he wanted to spend quality time with his new found love so he told his wife he was going for a seminar in Abraka, and will be back in a week's time. He quickly packed his belongings, said goodbye to his wife and left. When he saw that his wife had entered the house, he sneaked into the girl's house which was opposite their own, and had fun, spending the whole night with her. Early the next morning, he

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/man-who-just-got-married-falls-in-love.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 5:11am On Oct 04, 2014
Cars In Nigeria And The Stickers On Them
--------------- ------------

Lol, when will Nigeria stop being amusing. Maybe when Derby County wins the Uefa Champions League. Hmm! Where do I start from cause I'm engrossed in laughter at the moment. Okay! Cars in this Nigeria of all places now zoom the streets with stickers associated with the class the car belongs to. Just look at these. On most jeeps like

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/10/cars-in-nigeria-and-stickers-on-them.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 5:30am On Oct 04, 2014
Beggar Begs Me To Join Him In Begging
--------------- ------------

I was in a bus on a traffic jam in Lagos. The usual chant of ''Buy Gala, Buy Gala'' ''Your Sweet Banana here'' ''Cutlass, cutlass'' were in the air. And I was sitting close to the bus window o. A beggar then approached me; Bros abeg give me 1,000 Naira. I told him I don't have. He

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/beggar-begs-me-to-join-him-in-begging.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:20am On Oct 04, 2014
My Beautiful Neighbour Needs My Help In Her House And Not A Hotel
--------------- ------------

Remember yesterday was friday, I was surprised to see my neighbour knocking on my door yesterday evening. This is a neighbour that everytime I greet her, I count words. We only greet each other, we don't talk to each other as per say. You want me to stand and talk with her eyeball to eyeball with that beauty that she is carrying, my

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/my-beautiful-neighbour-needs-my-help-in.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 2:51pm On Oct 04, 2014
Reverend Father Gets Scared Of My Confession
--------------- ------------

My wife had stayed long at where she went, so I went in search of her. She had told me she was going to church for bible study. 8pm, she was not yet back, this is serious cause bible study ends at 6:30pm and the drive home is just 20 minutes. I went to the church in search of her. As I entered the church looking around for her, the Reverend Father saw me and

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/10/reverend-father-gets-scared-of-my.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:14am On Oct 05, 2014
Ridiculous Names Of Churches In Warri City
--------------- ------------

In Warri, come to Warri and see for yourself, names of churches, and you will truly believe the fact that we are indeed at the endtime. Warri is a city of town in Delta state southern Nigeria. The name of churches there are so captivating that you will have a reason to worship with them every sunday. Nothing will make you to miss church service when your church name is

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/10/ridiculous-names-of-churches-in-warri.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:35am On Oct 05, 2014
My Daddy Don't Want Me To Eat His Money While He Is Alive
--------------- ------------

Could you imagine that my father is so poor that we can't afford groundnut for breakfast. He has no money, not even a bank account so I thought. But not until he was due for an operation. He called me one day that he was going for an operation. I pleaded with him not to die. He told me not to worry that even if he dies, I should

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/my-daddy-dont-want-me-to-eat-his-money.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:51am On Oct 05, 2014
See How His Blessing Located Him On A Monday Morning
--------------- ------------

A supervisor of a building project, an hotel building, was walking around the building one monday morning. He noticed a friend of mine leaning against a wall looking around. He approached him and

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/see-how-his-blessing-located-him-on.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by Calismart(m): 10:00am On Oct 05, 2014
A pilot on an airplane said; Ladies
and Gentlemen, the plane is losing
altitude. All the baggage must be
thrown out.
A while later, the pilot said; We are
still losing altitude. We must throw
out everything that is in the cabin.
The plane continued to descend
despite more things being
thrown out.
The pilot said; "We are still going
down, we must throw out some
people".
There was a big gasp from the
passengers.
The pilot continued; "But to make
this fair, passengers will be
thrown out in alphabetical order,
So A... any Africans on board?".
Nobody moved.
The pilot said; B... any Blacks on
board?.
Nobody moved.
The pilot said; C... any coloureds
on board?.
Still, nobody moved.
The pilot said; D... any Darkies?.
A Nigerian little black boy asked
his dad; Daddy, what are we?.
The Dad said; My son, tonight, we
are zombies.

Hahahahaa...
Get more here=>http://www.facebook.com/AfricansWEProudlyARE
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 12:49pm On Oct 05, 2014
This Man Wants To Wreck My Marriage
--------------- ------------

Is it a criminal offence to get married? Just because I am married and my wife is Miss Nigeria some people don't just want to let me be. I was in the office when my wife heard a knock on our door. She went to open it and saw one man who asked her if she

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/this-man-wants-to-wreck-my-marriage.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by suptol(m): 3:43pm On Oct 05, 2014
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Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 5:11am On Oct 06, 2014
Warri Ofego Episode Nineteen
--------------- ------------

You were instructed to get the ailing child some provisions listed out on the list and not some foodstuffs. The nurse said. Are these foodstuffs? Ofego asked, and said, I thought they were provisions o, but they are all the same na, whether foodstuffs or provisions, they are all the same. It's the same work that they will do on the child's body. Ofego said. If you know what's good for you return these things and go get him the provisions for you not to be charged to court for murder. The nurse adviced. Charge to court for murder? Ofego

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/warri-ofego-episode-nineteen.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 5:59am On Oct 06, 2014
Women Are Afraid Than Men See Proof
--------------- ------------

I was arguing with my wife about who among us is a coward and scared. After an undying argument, we decided to ask our children Mena and Martins who they think was a coward and scared between two of us. Mena my first child said, I am the coward and scared because I am scared of women. She said whenever I see a beautiful girl in

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/women-are-afraid-than-men-see-proof.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:13am On Oct 06, 2014
How I Exposed Myself To Our Landlord
--------------- ------------

In School, Delta Poly, at our hostel one evening, our Landlord was complaining that my roommate had made his daughter pregnant. From the inside of our room, I was hearing him shouting outside. So I came out and asked him, what my roommate had done. He told me, my roommate had

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/how-i-exposed-myself-to-our-landlord.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by olunaikeseyi(m): 8:08am On Oct 06, 2014
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Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 12:32pm On Oct 06, 2014
My Wife Deceived Me In Vain
--------------- ------------

Alone at home my wife got bored and decided to deceive me. She picked up a biro and a paper, wrote a note and dropped it on the table and went into hiding under the bed. When I came home from work I saw the note and read it. It said; I am tired of this marriage Ofego, and I have decided to quit, please don't look for me. I laughed, picked up my phone and dialled a number; Hello, finally she is gone. I regret ever marrying her. How I wish I knew, I would have married you, but thank God she is gone now, we

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/my-wife-deceived-me-in-vain.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:33am On Oct 07, 2014
How I Lost A Job Interview Because Of Lie
--------------- ------------

I was so desperate to get this job that when I went for the interview I was told by the interviewer that there are two main rules of the company to select me. I asked him what they were. He said, their second rule is cleanliness, and asked If I

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/how-i-lost-job-interview-because-of-lie.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:43am On Oct 07, 2014
His Parents Lack Of Understanding
--------------- ------------

His parents, lol I actually meant my parents. Cause of the shame, I had to title this one, His Parents. Not only old age tells alot on the human mind, young age do tell. When I was in nursery school, that time my parents were not too old o, my teacher gave me a letter from school to give to them. I got home and

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/his-parents-lack-of-understanding.html?m=1

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