A man and his wife never fought for 25yrs of their marriage. A friend asked him how he had managed to make it possible. He narrated,"We went for our Honeymoon in Australia 25years ago, and while riding on a horse, my wife's horse jumped and my wife fell down. She then got up, patted the Horse's back and said'this is your first time'. After a while ,it happened again. She patted the horse again and said'this is your second time". The horse did it again the 3rd time, she brought out a gun and shot the horse dead. I was so shocked and shouted at her,'Are you crazy!!? What's wrong with you!!? Why did you kill the horse?. She gave me a grave look and said'THIS YOUR FIRST TIME". Ever since then we have been living very happily...

A little girl asked her
parents, "Mummy, Dad
dy, both of you, who has
more money?"
The parents answered, "We have our money equal."
The child said, "No, it's lie.
It's Mummy that has more
money than you Daddy.
The Father asked, "Why do you say so?"
The Daughter replied, "Because every time Mummy goes out, she comes back home with shopping bags but everytime you go out you come back home with newspaper.
One Word For This Girl.

Two men were trekking through a bush path when they sighted an hungry lion. One of the men reached into his paper bag and pulled out a pair of canvas. His friend looked at him, ''Do you really think those shoes are going to make you run faster than that lion?'' ''I don't have to run faster than that lion,'' The man replied, ''I just have to run faster than you.'' One Word For The Man.

Girls can never change
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uQugVgsQpI

Gbenga Adeboye told us
about one white man that
came for tourism in
Abeokuta during the
Masquerade festival. As he
was taking the whiteman round the town, they
came across a magical
masquerade who was
performing on the street.
His drummers were
eulogising him as follows: "You can't do like your
father
, or, can you do like your
father?
If you can do like your
father use your head to dance
(the masquerade then
used his head to dance
and everyone hailed him)
If you can do like your
father, do many acrobatic display
in a jiffy(he did more
than enough, everyone
were shouting and hailing
him)
But the drummers would not let go....
"If you can do like your
father
, let someone bring out his
gun and shoot you and
you must not die...." Then someone came out
from the crowd with his
long gun and directed
towards the masquerade
. The masquerade was
unperturbed. Everyone were shouting, "Shoot,
shoot", The masquerade
shouted, "Shoot me, shoot
me"and gbuaaaa!!!
Gunshot! But the
masquerade did not fall down, he kept on dancing
and then another one, "
TAKOOOOO.....!! !! The masquerade still didn't fall
but kept dancing......
The singers and
drummers kept hailing
him in 9s and 10s.....
" We shouldn't envy a child because he resembles his
father, this masquerade
resembles his father too
much..... We shouldn't
envy a child because he
resembles his father...." The white man became so
excited, "Oh! I love
Africa.....This is beautiful...." and
suddenly, he brought out his pistol
to test the
masquerade. He went towards the direction of the
masquerade. Everyone
were hailing the
masquerade and urging
the whiteman to shoot! On
sighting the whiteman with pistol, the masquerade quickly
called his co-ordinator
asking him quietly in his
usual deep voice, " Is this whiteman
a member of our band".The
co-ordinator said, "No! Then
the masquerade said,
"And you are watching
him as he wants to shoot me with a
real gun? It is sango that will kill you! Don't let him shoot me
o."
While the conversation
was going on, the drummers
kept on drumming:
"Do it, that is what a man does. Do it. Do it like your
father."
The masquerade then
turned to the drummers, "You want it not to be better for you all abi?
Have your ever seen a whiteman shoot my father
before? Are you all crazy?".
Then Gbenga Adeboye moved in
and went to the
masquerade saying, "But
you are from heaven, why are you afraid of a
whiteman's gun? If it happens, you will
go back home."
The masquerade quickly
appealed to Gbenga Adeboye,
"Haba! Habatically! Brother Gbenga, you don't know me again from
Adatan. I am Ojelabi
the son of Egunleti from
Adatan. I'm not from
heaven o! Tell your friend
not to shoot me o, it is begging that I'm begging you people o. The man
that shot me just now
is our band member o, we
have rehearsed at home o,
it is only etu that is in his gun
o, not bullet o, my children are still young
o, they need me more than ever o."
One Word For The Masquerade.
Very Funny Video:
Ofego Chopping
Knuckle. This video will make you forget your house address.
Download the video here now www.njuwo.com/2016/05/very-funny-video-ofego-chopping-knuckle.html?m=1

Buhaha

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAw9Yhpercc&list=PLOkIAKuXQ4rZaJNqJ_hOOfksyRw0kEBjI

Today's kids are so spoilt
that they don't know that
in our days you could be
beaten for any of the
following reasons:

1. Crying after being beaten.

2. Not crying after being
beaten.

3. Crying without being
beaten.

4. Standing while the elders are seated.

5. Sitting while the elders
stand.

6. Walking around
aimlessly where the elders
are seated.
7. Replying back to an
elder.

8. Not replying back to an
elder.

9. Spending too much
time without being beaten.

10. Singing after being
admonished.

11. Not greeting visitors.

12. Eating food prepared
for the visitors. 13. Crying to go with the
visitors when the visitors
are leaving.

14. Refusing to eat.

15. Coming back home
after sunset.
16. Eating at the
neighbour's home.

17. Generally being
moody.

18. Generally being too
excited.
19. Fighting with your age
mate and losing.

20. Fighting with your age
mate and winning.

21. Eating too slowly.

22. Eating too quickly.
23. Eating too much.

24. Sleeping while the
elders had already woken
up.

25. Looking at the visitors
while they are eating.
26.Stumbling and falling
when walking.
You could be beaten for just anything.
True Or False?
Very Funny Video: Ofego Demonstrates How Nigerians Kiss (A Must Watch For You) Download It Here http://www.njuwo.com/2016/05/very-funny-video-ofego-demonstrates-how.html And Thank Me Later.

Nigerians are too superstitous. Taxi cannot carry you again if dressi n black at night and you carry cutlass

Reading and

Ways of breaking up this winter season _________:-! 1. 16 Missed Calls? You Killed My Battery so you’re Capable of Killing Me... It's Over!!! _ 2.You don't even respect me. I'm talking and you are busy breathing? It's over! _ 3. I called you and you picked up immediately. You lack patience. It’s over!! _ 4. I told u I love my food hot but you refused to warm the ice cream. You don't care about me. It's over..

How you wish to be and reality

http://www.smstv.lt/fotogalerija/fotogalerija/253

Download Brand New Very Funny Video: Ask Your Teacher (Nigeria_Jokes_Update_With_Ofego _Episode_1) This video will make you laugh and laugh out real loud, bet me, Download it here now http://www.njuwo.com/2016/05/very-funny-video-ask-your-teacher.html?m=1 and enjoy with joy.

There was once was a guy who had only one testicle
and his name
was One Stone. He hated
that name and asked
everyone not to call him One Stone.
After years and years of
torment, One Stone finally
cracked and said, "If
anyone calls me One Stone
again I will kill the person!"
The word got around and
nobody called him that
anymore.
Then one day, a young
woman named Blue Bird
forgot and said, "Good morning, One Stone."
He jumped up, grabbed
her and took her deep
into the forest where he
made love to her all day
and all night. He made love to her all through the next
day until Blue Bird got exhausted and died. The
word got around that
One Stone meant what he
promised he would do. Years got by and no one
dared to call him by that name until a
woman named Yellow
Bird came back to the
village after being away. Yellow Bird, who was Blue
Bird's cousin, was
overjoyed when she saw
One Stone. She hugged him
and said, "Good to see
you, One Stone." One Stone grabbed her,
took her deep into the
forest, then he made love
to her all day, made love
to her all night, made love
to her all through the next day, made love to her all through the next night, but Yellow
Bird refused to die!
What is the moral of this
story?
You can't kill two birds with one stone.
Download Brand New Very Funny Video: Ask Your Teacher (Nigeria_Jokes_Update_With_Ofego _Episode_1) This video will make you laugh and laugh out real loud, bet me, Download it here now http://www.njuwo.com/2016/05/very-funny-video-ask-your-teacher.html?m=1 and enjoy with joy.

njuwo:
Today's kids are so spoilt
that they don't know that
in our days you could be
beaten for any of the
following reasons:

1. Crying after being beaten.

2. Not crying after being
beaten.

3. Crying without being
beaten.

4. Standing while the elders are seated.

5. Sitting while the elders
stand.

6. Walking around
aimlessly where the elders
are seated.
7. Replying back to an
elder.

8. Not replying back to an
elder.

9. Spending too much
time without being beaten.

10. Singing after being
admonished.

11. Not greeting visitors.

12. Eating food prepared
for the visitors. 13. Crying to go with the
visitors when the visitors
are leaving.

14. Refusing to eat.

15. Coming back home
after sunset.
16. Eating at the
neighbour's home.

17. Generally being
moody.

18. Generally being too
excited.
19. Fighting with your age
mate and losing.

20. Fighting with your age
mate and winning.

21. Eating too slowly.

22. Eating too quickly.
23. Eating too much.

24. Sleeping while the
elders had already woken
up.

25. Looking at the visitors
while they are eating.
26.Stumbling and falling
when walking.
You could be beaten for just anything.
True Or False?
Very Funny Video: Ofego Demonstrates How Nigerians Kiss (A Must Watch For You) Download It Here http://www.njuwo.com/2016/05/very-funny-video-ofego-demonstrates-how.html And Thank Me Later.

lol.. So so true
Ur yoruba mum wil b like:
1. Kini mofi kan e to suunkun. 2. Molu e oo suunkun ola gidi. 3. Kini omu e to suunkun eleya. 4. Wo bo se duro le wa lori. 5. Ole dide fun agbalagba ko joko. Blah blah.. Thumbs up guy, gone are doze dayz

Today is World Stupid Questions
Day.
Ask any stupid
question,
but let me ask mine first;

1. Who sang skelewu by
Davido?

2. How much is 10 Naira
pure water?

3. Which country hosted
Brazil
2014 World Cup?

4. Please is your sister a
girl?
5. I want to cook fried
rice,
please can I use rice?

6. What colour is that your
blue school bag?
7. Are your two daughters girls?

8. Are you carrying your
school bag to school?

9. Is your mother a
woman?
Ask Yours!
Download This Very Funny Video http://www.njuwo.com/2016/05/very-funny-video-ask-your-teacher.html?m=1

A couple were in bed
getting busy on their
wedding night when the
bride placed the guy's
hand onto her
vagina. "Put your finger in me, " She told
him. So he did without
hesitation, as she started
moaning. "Put two fingers
in", She requested. So in
went another one. She was really started to get
worked up when she said,
"Put your whole hand
in!". The guy said, "Okay!".
So he put his entire hand
in, when she was moaning aloud. "Put both your
hands inside of me!!!".
The guy put both of his
hands in! "Now clap your
hands, " commanded the
girl. "I can't", said the guy. The girl looked at him and
said, "See, I told you I had
a tight vagina!".

The guy put his legs in it, and when
he wanted to remove his
legs, his shoes were no
where to be found. They
called a Police Officer who
entered with his torchlight and
searched everywhere
inside until he lost his way
and could not come
out again. End of discussion!
One Word For The Police Officer.
Download This Very Funny Video http://www.njuwo.com/2016/05/very-funny-video-ask-your-teacher.html?m=1

An Arab was admitted in
the Hospital for a heart
operation, but prior to the
surgery the doctors
needed to store his blood
in case the need arises. As the gentleman had a rare
type of blood, it couldn't
be found locally. So the
call went out to the
neighbouring towns. Finally
an Igbo guy was located who had a similar type of
blood. The Igbo guy
willingly donated his
blood for the Arab.
After
the surgery, the Arab sent
the Igbo guy as an appreciation, a new range rover sports car, diamonds, jewelries, and one
million US dollars. Once
again the Arab had to go
through a corrective surgery. His doctor
telephoned the igbo man
who was more than
happy to donate his blood
again. After a successful
surgery, the Arab sent the guy a thank you card
and a box of
cake and sweets. The
Igbo guy was shocked to
see that the Arab this time
did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had
anticipated. He phoned
the Arab and told him, "I
thought this time you
would give me Hummer Jeep, Diamonds and Jewelries. But you gave
me only a card and a box cake and
sweets. The Arab
replied, "Nwanne I can't
help it, now I have Igbo blood running in my
veins.
One Word For The Arab.
Download This Very Funny Video http://www.njuwo.com/2016/05/very-funny-video-ask-your-teacher.html?m=1

Hello every1

Very Funny Video: Doctor Cutlass (NJUWO Episode 2) Download it here http://www.njuwo.com/2016/05/very-funny-video-doctor-cutlass-njuwo.html?m=1 and laugh pain away then gain happiness.

When Uche was in SS3, his teacher always
yelled at him,
calling him a waste of conception, time and
space and a
sure failure in life".
.
One day, poor Uche's grandma came to
school to check out
how her grandson was doing.
The teacher told her quite frankly that she
had never seen
such a dumb boy all her life; and advised her
to withdraw
and enroll him under an artisan, because
formal schooling
for Uche would be a total waste of time and
money.
The grandma, shocked at the teacher's
remarks, withdrew
her grandson from the school and relocated
to Maiduguri.
.
**** 25 years later ****
The teacher was diagnosed with a brain
tumour. All the
doctors she met advised her to do surgery
and only a
certain doctor in the whole of Nigeria
(practicing in
Maiduguri) could perform this procedure.
Left with no
alternative, the poor teacher agreed to have
the surgery
performed.
.
Fortunately, It was successful. When she
awoke hours after
the surgery, she saw a handsome young
doctor smiling
down at her. She was on artificial
respiration from a
machine that provided her oxygen. She
wanted to thank him
but could not speak. She looked sideways
and suddenly
began to express shock & anguish, her face
started to turn
pale; she frantically made attempts to raise
her hand and
tell him something but couldn't. She
struggled, she fought
hard-Then she gave up the Ghost and died.
The young
doctor was shocked. He tried to find out
what went wrong.
Eventually, it was found out that it was our
dear Uche (now
working as a cleaner in the hospital) who
had disconnected
the lady's oxygen machine to connect his
phone charger.
Wait ooo!... Don't tell me that you thought
that Uche
became the doctor?
.
Lol If I hear.... This is not Nollywood.!! Uche
no know book be say eh no know book

Olotu the drunkard was
stumbling down the
street with one foot on
the road and one foot in
the gutter. I saw him
and said, "Oh boy, you are drunk!

Olotu looked surprised and
said, "Bros Ofego,
are you sure I am drunk."
"Yes!" I replied. "You are
drunk." Breathing a sigh of relief,
Olotu said, "Thank God oh, I thought I was a cripple."
One Word For Olotu.
Very Funny Video: Doctor Cutlass (NJUWO Episode 2) Download it here http://www.njuwo.com/2016/05/very-funny-video-doctor-cutlass-njuwo.html?m=1

KUDOS TO NAFDAC N W.H.O For the sake of safe SEX, NAFDAC has introduced a protection cream in place of Condoms. Its safe, affordable and confortable. Moreover, their will be no need to use condom again. The advantage of using this cream is that you can now enjoy Flesh to flesh without the fear of HIV/AIDs. Wow!! At last we can now enjoy ourself skin to skin. Go to any Pharmacy close to you and request for ABONIKI BALM. End of Discussion

There was one time my habit was to go anywhere I noticed that they were doing a burial so that I will drink and eat jollof rice popularly known as colour. Whenever they start sharing towards my direction, I will cry out, "Hey!! Oh God why must this woman die now that she is about reaping the fruit of her labour on her children. May You receive her soul Lord!. One day at a burial, a man sitting close to me bursted out, "Mr Man what are you saying?? Get your facts right. It's a man that died and not a woman."
One Word For This Aproko Man.
Very Funny Video: Doctor Cutlass (NJUWO Episode 2) Download it here http://www.njuwo.com/2016/05/very-funny-video-doctor-cutlass-njuwo.html?m=1

STUDENT: Sir, can I ask a question? TEACHER:...Yes! STUDENT:...How do you put an elephant inside a fridge? TEACHER:...I don't know. STUDENT:...It's easy, you just open the fridge and put it in. I have another question! TEACHER:...Ok, ask. STUDENT:...How to put a donkey inside the fridge? TEACHER:...It's easy, you just open the fridge and put it in. STUDENT:...No sir, You just open the fridge take out the elephant and put it in. TEACHER:...Ooh...ok!! STUDENT:...Let me ask another one. If all the animals went to the lion's birthday party, and one animal went missing which one would it be? TEACHER:...The lion of course! Because it wud eat all the animals. STUDENT:...No sir, it is the donkey becoz it's still inside the fridge. TEACHER:...Are you kidding me? STUDENT:...No sir, 1 last question. TEACHER:...Ok! STUDENT:...If there's a river full of crocodiles and you wanted to cross, how would you? TEACHER:...There's no way, I would need a boat to cross. STUDENT:.....No sir, you just swim and cross it because all the animals went to the lion's birthday party.... TEACHER...i have my own question,if all the students come to school except one person, who is the person.. STUDENT...No idea sir.. TEACHER...its u because you are on two weeks suspension. One word for them pls

High Table (NJUWO Episode 3) very funny video. Download it here http://www.njuwo.com/2016/05/very-funny-video-high-table-njuwo.html