NOT ALL OF THESE ARE REAL

My Jamb Experience:
I still did not know what to do either to cry, smile, jump or even shout when i finally wore a choir gown which served the purpose of a graduation gown.
"At last" i thought to myself, Mr Jatto and Mrs. Ayodele wont be chasing me around to get flogged when their hand itches them. But at the same time, i was going to miss secondary school most especially the final year when i became the Labour Prefect, i made life worse for those girls who disrespected me before the coronation. I dont go early but when i get to school i take over from my assistant and give all of them serious and unforgettable punishments....
Adeyemo Akin! The able Labour Prefect the principal called. I shook hands with him and he gave me that round plastic and certificate (remind me of the name). I managed to smile and took a shot with him... It was a wonderful day
The WAEC result was out! And guess what? I smashed it, 9 out of 9. I was the only science student who didnt have a clause (not because i was that brilliant oh), they all failed F/ Maths but i was LUCKY to scale through with a very close "C6" or "Oriyomi" like some would say. .
Bring on Jamb i said to myself with confidence but my dear you dont want to hear the story.
I made enquiries about how Jamb looks and found out it was only Objectives, No theory! I smiled and said to myself "that means people who fail Jamb need Academic Medical Check Up".
My friends had joined many Tutorials and asked me to follow suit but i laughed at them and said its just a waste of Money.
I was so confident that i didnt even prepare at all for the fast approaching exams even to the extent that i even delayed my registeration.

JAMB REGISTERATION
My mum gave me money to purchase the form after i refused to let my sister go with me to purchase the form.
At the purchase point I saw a "bros" busy checking a big book which i later got to know was a brochure. I just ignored him and said "Aunty abeg give me Jamb Form" she did and also gave me 2 books 1 wide and the other small. I asked what the books were meant for, she explained to me that they were brochure and syllabus. I just hissed (I guess you know why), i noticed the bros just look at me.
He called me back and said "O boy! You better take Jamb serious na the 8th time wey i dey write am be dis" i just ignored him and said to myself "this is another patient who needs an Academic.....
To be continued

I was here

yemi2plus2: I was here

Seen U lol

timpaker: Heheheheheheh Jambito

Lol

Ride on bro

Following. *hope I'm allowed*

Abeg na till tomorrow oh

Don't we all have Jamb tales. Ride on bro.

Chairman, ride on na. I really want to hear ppl's jamb tales.

My Jamb Experience II
FILLING THE JAMB FORM:
Still moving around with my newly bought jamb. To me, it looked as if i'm just holding just a piece of trash that i will be disposing very soon.
You need to see my shoulders; very high (i guess you still remember why).
"Bros come" "siii siii" "Jamb Registeration here". I took my time to choose the best available registeration office. I didnt even bother to use the brochure in filling the form because it looked like one of those boring Shakespear's book. I filled the offline form given to me withthe required details. My details was as follows:
Name: Adeyemo Akin....
:::
Institution (1st Choice): University of Ibadan
Institution (2nd Choice): Obafemi Awolowo University
Course: MEDICINE (1st & 2nd choice)
Subjects: Use of English, Chemistry, Biology, MATHS
Exam Centre: Lagos Island
Imagine the combination! As i submitted the form to the operator, she looked at me as if i've commited the greatest crime on earth. She shook her head, filled the form online and gave me a print-out.
The lady told me my subject combination and institution choices are faulty, i just nodded my head to signify i'm aware, so she left me. I gently folded the print out, took the syllabus along with the brochure and dashed out.
"Let this useless JAMB self come and go joor".

MY Preparation for JAMB
3 Weeks to go and i still wake up and sleep like i'm the prine of Queen Elizabeth. My normal routine didnt change at all infact it became more busier with irrelevant activities. I spent most of my time playing football and video games (on which i spent my feeding allowances). Yet Jamb kept knocking, anytime my mum warn me about my unseriousness i'll just go in, solve some maths (i already know) and beat my chest again.
"Sebi na only objective" that was my slang of the moment, even though i'm neither the very social type nor the one that likes entertainment but i still keep records of all T.V programmes from monday till sunday with their specific time. From Cartoon to Wrestling, i dont miss a show.
3 days to Jamb....
One of my sister's friend paid us a visit and asked if i was taking Jamb, i just hissed and said yes! He look at me full of praises and said "Hmmmm Efiko!" My head swole from my head to my centre and came back again. I blushed! I told him about my subjects and he said i was meant to offer Physics instead of Maths.
My heart missed a beat when he said so, i quickly defended myself that the schools i put in for had special requirements. He asked for the schools but i quickly changed the topic in order not to see the complain of the operator who registered my form.
I wasnt too bothered about both parties comments because i believe as a medical student you should not offer Physics
The Day before Jamb!!!
I waited for 5mins before getting a bus. Oh! I didnt tell you that i stay at Idimu in Lagos but decided to choose Lagos Island Centre in order to explore the mainland (The theatre, The Bewery, The National Stadium, The 3rd mainland Bridge) I was willing to feed my eyes to and fro the journey.
Pim Pim! I dropped in front of the school (My exam centre). I walked in and moved around, just under a tree i saw 3 people looking serious. What were they doing? Machinery! I looked at them in disgust, turned back to prepare for the D-Day and said these are another set of people who neeed Academic.....
JAMB Day
To Be Continued

johnwizey: Ride on bro

Thanks!

hod898: Following. *hope I'm allowed*

very much allowed oh

I sense danger! Anyway, thanks for the update. But make the next longer and early. Save!

Interesting, I rili want 2 hear dis story 2 d end.

Hope tickets are stil on sale....

I'm sorry there was no light yesterday and i was too tired.

My Jamb Experience III
JAMB DAY:
I slept earlier that cold friday night because i was tired after going through that long journey.
"Kukurukuuuuu" Johnny crowed. Johnny was my favourite cock of all the fowls i keep. I love Johnny specially because of its rapid growth and specie.
I quickly checked the clock, it was 5:30am i woke mummy up and my siblings for morning devotion. The devotion was unusually quick because of my exams. I was given special prayers.
I dressed up and did all necessary things before dashing out. My slip, pencil and calculator all in a Clear Bag.
I was amazed to see many people outside rushing to their exam centres. I joined the next bus and got the centre around 7:30am. I was looking very serious. I wasnt afraid nor nervous but that pride was still clearly visible in every single step i took.
I looked around and saw many students, i seemed to be shortest and smallest, so many "bros" and "aunties" attaching "Micro-Chip" to various parts of the body like slippers, under the belt and other places. I just looked at them and saved my comment for later.
I headed straight to the entrance to get searched. The scanner caught my phone which i brought in order to call my mum if i missed the way. I gave it to the security man to keep for me and went straight to the classroom.
The seats were nicely arranged. It was a big hall that contained 16 chairs per roll. After every 5 column, a board was placed in the middle to divide it into sections.
"014" i quickly confirmed my number and took my seat on the already numbered chairs.
Answer sheets were shared followed by Question papers.
I said a little prayer, not that i was afraid but just to obey mum's order.
"Use Of English" was the first i attempted. I adjusted my "bom bom" to sit more comfortably. I opened the paper and started reading the comprehension, my words per minute was superb. I read faster than the speed of light, i jumped to the questions, read it, returned to the comprehension and read again.
Within few minutes, i finished the 1st comprehension passaged. I gave out a loud laugh and the invigilator cautioned me.
I did the same thing to the 2nd Comprehension passage.... I gave Use of English a knock out in no time.
Oya enter Biology, first 10 questions were damn simple, 11th question was a bit confusing, i skipped it, 12, 14, 18, 22, i was looking worried because the options looked alike.
I decided to turn over to Chemistry (My most hated subject) imagine medical student oh! The first 2 questions were on mixtures and matter. I started skipping again, infact i deserved an award for the rate of skipped questions per seconds.
"003" "055" "032" "015" i was waiting to hear "014" but the invigilator didnt call my number as she was giving out small pieces of paper to the seat numbers she called.
That was exactly 1 hour after we started, the hall was becoming noiser, the tempo rose, grumbling here and there, there were serious erasing of answer sheets, i was still wondering. I checked from the guy behind me and found out what the invigilator gave out was Micro Chip.
I looked over the next class and found out that the Alhaja invigilator was bringing out hers from her Veil (Ijab). "Bros which one you want?" the guy asked me.
I didnt even utter a word and skipped the frustrating Chemistry to solve some Maths (My wrong subject). The first was fraction, gbam!, 2nd was bodmas gbam!, i solved the 1st 15 questions and my morale of pride came back and once more i felt like a Jamb super star.
"Skipping" came in again, this time around i was under intense pressure. Only a Themo-couple could be used to measure my temperature. I was feeling hot like someone sitting on a bread oven.
The sweat from my body could fill 2 paint plastics. Infact the sweats were coming from my hand and leg only while my face looked smooth as ever.
"30 mins more" it was like a bomb shell in my ear, at this point i was totally confused if to turn to the diagrams in Biology, the Chemical equations in Chemistry or the Hardest Questions in Maths.
I randomly shaded the blank spaces and submitted when the woman shouted "Pencils up". I prayed again but this time no words came. I didnt even know when i got to the last bus-stop missing all the adventures. No time for jokes or high shoulders but to await the results of my pride and unseriousness in a week time... To be continued
Jamb Result

Nice piece of update donbrowser. Keep it up, can't wait for the next update!

E don be 4 u bros... Ride on jare

My Jamb Experience IV
JAMB RESULT:
I closed an eye as the result checker page was
loading. So many things were running
through my mind at a time.
What if i failed? No! I cant.
What if i didnt get the up to 200? Its still
failure!
Just then the light went off. Ha! Nepa why are
you adding to my heart attack.
"Bros you go come back oh" the attendant
said. I wanted to know my fate quicker then i
decide to try another Cafe but i saw a lot of
Crowd and it seemed like it will take eternity
before it gets to my turn as the server was
even very slow.
I decided to wait a little and see people's
result to judge the year's overall performance.
"242", "215", "208".... Those were the scores.
Very good results but my mind wasnt at rest
because i know i didnt do well.
Just then i saw "078" i looked around to
locate the owner i didnt even notice the guy
had walked pass me. He was just heading
towards the main road, he was no longer
himself as he was moving head's down
without minding vehicles coming towards
him.
"Piiiiiim Piiiiiimmm" the vehicles honked
loudly yet this guy didnt seem to hear. The
noise distracted us and we found out the guy
was the owner of the result.
The shock from the poor result had made him
a sudden walking corpse. People around
rescued him and mad him sit for a while,
when he finally gained conciousness he said
he has done and failed Jamb 6 good times.
I could no longer contain myself, this time
around i closed both eyes as the results were
coming.
Use of English - 68
Chemistry - 26
Biology - 44
Maths - 56
Aggregiate - 194
I wish i could add "6" more marks to the
score. I couldnt cry.
The day was a different one entire. I
developed fever instantly, i couldnt eat well,
my throat became bitter and i started
shivering like someone dropped in the middle
of the Atlantic Ocean.
Many thoughts came to my mind, abi i should
run away? or i should go and hide 1st? or i
should tell mummy i didnt see my result?.
What will i do?
I was the point of discussion, subject of
matter and example of nemesis for every
event that took place in the house for the
whole month.
P.C.E wasnt an option because Medicine was
on my mind like many other Science Students
even though i was adviced by that my sister's
friend who turned out to be my enemy to sit
for the exam but i turned down the advice.
No more footballs, No more games and my
mummy's anger grew day by day most
especially when she hear of Post-Ume and her
son is at home nursing the serious injuries
sustained by a deadly jamb blow.
Ha! Jamb slapped me and it was hot i mean
very hot that i started thinking of the best
way to prevent staying at home with mummy.
I drafted a plan.....
To be continued
Life After Jamb

***FOLLOWING***

Gud story,following

My Jamb Experience V
Life After Jamb:
My 1st ever interview in life, i was not looking nervous, afraid or anything. I was just desperate to get employed and the proprietor of the school too didnt look as if he'll disappoint Benedict and myself.
"You can resume on Monday" He told us and i was happier than Esther when she got Samuel. Slowly monday came and i finally got some freedom from mummy's house arrest and early morning talks but i was a bit worried when the Proprietor said i'll teach Geography, Maths, Physics, Agric, Yoruba and finally stay in Pry. 4 class.
"Is it not better to just stay at home" i thought to myself but i was only looking for a way out of "my Lazarus Tomb". The worst part of everything, big uncle (The Proprietor) shifted his glasses twice before opening his mouth twice as if he was afraid of saying he would pay us N4,000.
I almost walked away but the "tomb" made me agree to the job and we carried on.
Day after day i go to the school to teach and come back home with N200 daily - earnings from school lessons.
"Hey hey hey oya start over" Aunty Doyin ordered, she was another teacher in the school whose make-ups were not different from that of Madam Gagu of Binta and Friends.
Her assembly was like an army parade ground because she dishes out order with a very loud voice yet "nothing special".
Our boss called her his best teacher which made me respected her initially but....
"Arise o Compatriot".....
After 5 lines
She stops....
Starts all over....
Stops again,,,,.
Finally asks a student to finish it up.
She did this for over three times before i concluded "the best teacher" cant recite the National Anthem. I never knew Benedict noticed this too. We laughed as we walked home and i was beginning to find something interesting about the school.
To be continued
Aunty Doyin's Letter To Me

Still following¡

Interesting story,.but let ur updates be regular.

Following.

Madawaki01: Interesting story,.but let ur updates be regular.

I'm sorry... Just that i'm always very busy.

Following thread.abeg make una update

My Jamb Experience (Part 5b)
Aunty Doyin's Letter To Me:
Uncle Akin pls don (dont) be annoy oh, i just want to ask if the lesson that you are doing for the children is for free of chage (charge) becos i was the one that was doing it for them before you come.
Should we be share it or you will be doing it go?
Pls Reply.....
I pitied English Language that day, because she totally murdered it, i excused my and laughed till i began to cry. Not as if i'm the best at the Oyinbos language oh but at the same time i still dey try.
I went to see her myself and we resolve the issue, i also told her not to write letters to me again instead, she should send for me.
She felt like a boss.
The 1st month's pay was quick and without any processing delay same with the 2nd month. My boss was beginning to enjoy myself and Benedict's work rate. The S.S. 2 students didnt touch a topic in Physics and Geography but i was able to assist them cover the 75% of S.S. 1 work in just 1 term, they come by 7am and leave by 5:30pm they also attended saturday classes then.
Everything was working out perfectly and i was beginning to have flair for teaching.
My oga's wife (Big aunty) never sees anything good in what we do, all she knows how to do is just complain and complain.
Her "kangaroo walk" amuses me and that never makes me when she's complaining. I call out orders in my mind and she obeys them in the physical world.
"Chest Out" "Heads Up".... Imagine the posture. And her hands seperated like a duck's in water.
"Dont sit down" "Dont beat them" Ha! It was as worse as the treatment of Pharaoh towards the Children of Israel.
But big uncle is always calm and nice. I never knew they both had plans. I cried when they unleashed it.
To be continued
Leaving my 1st School.

Haha on top #4000 in a month well na jamb cos am.nice story

ninja4life: Haha on top #4000 in a month...

Abi oh