How do I begin? Well, a journey of 1000 miles start with a step. All I need is my SON!

Met a lady (Lady A ) way back in the university. Cool, beautiful and gentle (so I thought). She got pregnant in my final year and delivered a baby boy during my NYSC. My parents were informed. I accepted paternity and we had my child naming ceremony in my father's house.

Fast forward, 6 years later. Lady A's mother (divorced from Lady A's father) refused to let me marry Lady A due to some circumstances. Still I wanted to take the risk and marry Lady A for the sake of my son. After a while Lady A refused to marry me. I always supported in my child's welfare and pay him regular visit every 2 weeks.

I secured a federal job in Oyo state. My child stays in Lagos. Lady A left for the United States with another man she married and abandoned my son in her mother's house. I pay 2 weekly visits to Lagos from Oyo to check on my son who by now is 6.5yrs old and he is so fond of me and always request I take him with me anytime I pay a visit. The grandma had always been against my visiting and kind of discourage my son from any form of communication with me. Most times I called to speak with my son on phone i was always informed he was not around. I became suspicious of their plans and decided to be having my son spend his holidays with me perodicly.

A month ago me and my father went to grandma to inform her of my desire to have my child spend his hols with me for a period of 2 weeks. I requested my dad to go with me so there won't be any form of quarrel. the grandma asked us to come back on d first weekend of the holidays.

Elated and very happy. On the appointed day along with my dad we went to pick my son for the hols. We got there and apparently my son had been looking forward to spend his hols with me as I could see he was so naturally exited. My son went to inform the grandma of our presence.

Long story cut short. Grandma refused and said she would not allow me to take my child for holidays. I lost all senses of 'gentlemaness' and left the place with my child who followed me happily. We travelled to my place in Oyo that same day. We were happy!

Then the bombshell. I got a call from an unknown person who introduced himself as a police officer and stated that a case of child kidnapping (not even abduction ) was reported against me and my father and as such we should report to the police station. Because of my work I told the policeman I would not have the time but that my lawyer would represent me.

All this while my son was so sad and I was surprised he could decipher what was going on! He felt sad and said to me 'Daddy, I don't want police to arrest you'. I assured him nothing of such would happen. He hates anything police.

Long story cut short. My father was arrested and detained. His bail was taken. He assured the officers I would return my son. My lawyer advised I return my son and that we take the matter up with the proper authority. Welfare! That was the first time I knew anything of such. I did as advised and returned my son. He was so sad and he became sick. I promised him I would fight for him and have him with me for good.

I returned him to Lagos. Handed him over to my father who took him to the police station and handed him over to his grandma. What baffled me was that the grandma reported that me and my dad went to their house when no one was home and we took away my son! WHAT A LIE from an old grandma! That means my son's life is not secured and anybody could've taken him away just like that.

I have decided to take my boy and have primary and full custody of him. My life is not secured in their place again. they could've shouted 'kidnapper' on me on the street. Trust Lagosians. I cringed to think of what could happen to me. A father kidnapping his child

Nairalanders I need help. How do I handle this? I filed for custody in Oyo but their lawyer replied that Oyo lacked jurisdiction over the matter since my boy was born in Lagos. I don't kñow welfare in Lagos.

I have some bank statements of funds sent to support my child. Most of my contributions had always been by hand in cash. I gave 50k in cash to the grandma for my son a month and half ago before this issue. I have my child's birth certificate with me and vàrious pictures of him right from the day he was born to his moments with me in oyo.

How do I go about this? What are my chances of securing primary and full custody of my child since his mother had eloped with another man to the USA and left my son at the mercy of these serial liers of grandma and her other siblings (all ladies and women).

Debrief08, omo alata and all respected Nlanders... Please help before I self destruct.. Thanks.

@Op, take the case up with the right authority. Welfare would help in this matter. Some people are just wicked. That grandma could have done worse. Just fight for the custody your boy.

I am not familiar well with Lagos jurisdiction on child custody. But I think you should look for a lawyer in Lagos that specialised in family court. He/She will be able to advice you on the process you have to follow as far as lagos state is concerned. Start saving any documents that'll state any amount of money you are sending to the child. Continue calling him, cos grandma can say you have since neglected him. If you can have phone records of when and how often you call him, that'll be great. Since you were not married to the mother, it'll be advisable to do DNA test to establish parental right (this is just for formality). Please fight for your son, do let that miserable old hag discourage you.

^^^ Thank you. Am doing all I could to get him. They don't answer my calls and neither do they encourage my son to talk to me.. I have his birth certificate and they definitely can't deny he is not my son. At the time I brought him to Oyo my child told me in the car that the grandma and other lady told him not to follow me anytime I wanna take him. They are trying to brainwash him against me.

I will do the needful urgently. I welcome further advise. Thank you..

Shile01: ^^^ Thank you. Am doing all I could to get him. They don't answer my calls and neither do they encourage my son to talk to me.. I have his birth certificate and they definitely can't deny he is not my son. At the time I brought him to Oyo my child told me in the car that the grandma and other lady told him not to follow me anytime I wanna take him. They are trying to brainwash him against me.

I will do the needful urgently. I welcome further advise. Thank you..

I don't know the rules in Nigeria, but in US the grandma has zero say on the matter. This issue is between you and his mother. But since she is out of the country, you are the next person in line. That is why it is important for you to know the law in Lagos state, this may just be very simple case.

Please dont rule out the help of the almighty God, please read this thread it will help you
https://www.nairaland.com/1262082/how-conquer-poverty-barrenness-spirtually/16

Omo_Alata:

I don't know the rules in Nigeria, but in US the grandma has zero say on the matter. This issue is between you and his mother. But since she is out of the country, you are the next person in line. That is why it is important for you to know the law in Lagos state, this may just be very simple case.

I am not familiar with rules myself. I never imagined I could ever have to encounter such an issue as child custody. I will look for a good family lawyer and press for primary and full custody of my son. I don't trust the grandma and my son could be whiffed out of the country without my knowledge. I wish I could just take him and never return him but I was advised against such..
Thanks a lot omo alata...

First thingd first

Have you sorted out the police problem

Secondly have you married now

Are you in touch with the mother of your child and what is her opinion

Are you sure money being sent to your child is being used

Is the bith mother still involved in her childs life

Shile01:

I am not familiar with rules myself. I never imagined I could ever have to encounter such an issue as child custody. I will look for a good family lawyer and press for primary and full custody of my son. I don't trust the grandma and my son could be whiffed out of the country without my knowledge. I wish I could just take him and never return him but I was advised against such..
Thanks a lot omo alata...

The bolded is all you need. Everything else is long story. Good luck!

biolabee: First thingd first

Have you sorted out the police problem

Secondly have you married now

Are you in touch with the mother of your child and what is her opinion

Are you sure money being sent to your child is being used

Is the bith mother still involved in her childs life

Thank you.

Yes, I've sorted out the police problem by returning the boy.

No, am not married but I have a fiancee who is willing to bond with my child and accept him. I need to have my son with me before I marry just so my intended lady won't think I have skeleton in my closet.

His mother severed all form of communication with me and so I botherless about her and focus on how to secure my child.. Thank you.

ileobatojo:

The bolded is all you need. Everything else is long story. Good luck!

Thank you. Please do you know of any welfare office in Lagos?

Shile01:
Thank you. Please do you know of any welfare office in Lagos?

I do not. But I hope some people will soon come and give you some good references.

^^^ thank you. I look forward to such reterrences from Nlanders.

Sorry about all this.
You did wrong by taking him forcefully, believe me child welfare laws work in Nigeria.
However, The situation can still be salvaged.
Thankfully you have reciepts because I see mama denying you gave money.
If the mother was here it will have been harder seeing he is under 7, but since he is with Grandma, it is much easier.

Go back to Lagos, take a week off if you can, go to social welfare, report formally, go with your reciepts, if you have phone texts go with them too.
You will be asked to write a statement and both of you will be invited.

Lagos is really strict about "Run away" fathers, when you prove you have always been there, they will invite you both and it will be settled fairly.

So sorry and best wishes.

Go to Alausa, I think that is where it Is in Lagos

@Debrief08, I never ran away. I've always been there for my son. Not that I forcefully took him away I just lost my cool and decided to leave with my boy. He wanted to go with me. Grandma even called my dad to say we should take care of the boy. Thanks a lot. I will arrange a leave of absence in office and go to Alausa as you said. Btw do you know of any good family lawyer? Thanks.

wow all the best op,follow debriefs advice

^^^ Thanks a lot. I would do just that. All I need now is a contact of a good family and custody lawyer. Thanks.

Discuss with the baby mama's father if he could do something about it.

Go to welfare office as advised and prepare to hire a lawyer should in case it gets to the court. I think you have high probability of winning the case.

It is well with you

Poster I didn't say you were run away, I just said I liked the fact that you had documented evidence else the Mother would have denied and you would have a harder time due to the runaway father strict laws in Lagos.
Anyway, that aside, Calm down with the lawyer thing, take time and go to Social Welfare, don't go fighting and screaming, go with your childs interest at heart, don't go accusing and being angry, go be calm, human and a concerned Dad, your body language will soften them up and your documented evidence is there to back you up.

The Welfare Officers are well trained and the welfare of the child their ultimate concern.
Don't start fighting till its absolutely necessary, even if a lawyer challenges them you will still be refered by the Judge back to Social Welfare to settle or attempt to settle before it gets back to court if not properly agreed on.
I am a Lawyer but some bad eggs can take undue advantage of situations, send you on a merry go round and keep grabbing money from you.

This is a simple social welfare case, take time and follow it through if you can and calmly too. I understand you are hurt as you should be because you have always been part of your sons life.

It is a case you will most likely win based on what you have shared with us.
All you need is a calm mind, some patience, your evidence, (photocopy them) and some time.

OP,

You have the counsel of a professional above. Follow the instructions strictly and the Lord will help you...

@Debrief Thank you so much. I will try and be calm. Could I have your email please? Thanks.

OP, wish you the best, but you have to consider that baby too...if you know you will always be there to take care of him, by all means go get him. There is a lot of child abuse in Nigeria. Could happen to any kid regardless of gender, so be sure your child will get the best of you. Don't do this because he is your son, do it because you want the best for him

@bellong, thanks a lot. Me and my dad discussed with the baby mama's father but he was of little or no help since he has divorced baby mama's mother and had not been living with them for years now. Thanks.

Try Τ̅Ơ̴̴̴̴͡ have patient ώϊ†̥̥ђ Uя̲̅ so called grandma cos Uя̲̅ son will surely look ƒό̲̣̣̣̥r̶̲̥̅̊ Ɣ☺ΰ
Whenever he grows up, Uя̲̅ sons grandma is devilish aΩ̴̩̩̩̥d̶̲̥̅̊ ‎​ she might be fetish! So, be very careful aΩ̴̩̩̩̥d̶̲̥̅̊ ‎​ prayerful A̶̲̥̅m sure God is ¶n control.

@chillisauce, yeah am doing this because I want the best for my son. I planned to enrol him in a staff school where his school fees would be deducted from my pay monthly. He would have free medical care because I am a registered NHIS member. My fiancee promised to be good to him. Having him with me would also reduce my traveling to Lagos to see him, you know, this by itself is risky, God forbid.. Thank you soooo much.

@Lolaabokoku, am taking it cautiously. I really want my boy out of that place because I sense they are kind of decietful and full of lies. I wouldn't say they are devilish but just that I don't trust them. At a point in past times I descovered incisions on the baby mama's body and queried why she had such incissions. She couldn't give me a reasonable answer. Well, I pray to God He settles this for me and fast too. Thank you..

Excellent counsel from debrief for u

Dear Mister,

With all I have read so far, I'm very sure
your son will be in your care. Like Debrife08 has said, just handle everything will calmness.

Also, start gathering your evidence right from now.
1. The deposit receipts to show you
regularly send money to his grandmom
for his care.
2. Keep your text messages and phone
call history up to date.
3. Also, if you have any receipt of things
you bought for him, please include
them.
4. Please don't forget pictures/video
recordings of you both together.(Very
very important; nothing like family
time.)

I wish you the very best.

^^^ thank you very much. I have video recordings and some deposit tellers also bank statement showing atleast 4 transactions of fund remitance for my son.

I appreciate you all. Bigruckus, thank you! Sure I won't self destruct and ready to claim my son by all legal means possible..

Wow, very good, very very GOOD!
You'll have your dearest son with you in no time. I believe the evidence you'll present will be more than enough to prove to the. welfare guys that you really want your son by your side.

I salute you sir! Coming all the way from Oyo to Lagos to see him coupled with regular monetary upkeep and your eagerness to be with him so he gets all the love, care and attention he needs for a memorable upbringing will surely favour your case.