Comedy merchant, Opa Williams, got married
officially to his wife, Patricia, a pastor in
Foursquare Gospel Church, Surulere, in 1994.
But, before then, they had been living together
as husband and wife for four years. Their
marriage is blessed with three kids.

The couple
speaks on their journey into marriage….

How I met her

I got married officially on 24 September,
1994. Come next year, I will be 20 years in
marriage, though I have lived with my wife for
24 years. I met her in my sister’s saloon in
1988.You know when a man meets a woman, the
next thing is for them to strike a relationship.

We became friends before we started staying
together. She had her first child in 1990, two
years after I met her. I told her then, if I’m
going to marry her, you must become born
again.

I wasn’t born again but I think I knew my
weakness. I felt that if I’m not strong in faith,
I needed somebody who will be strong in faith.

I think that was what delayed our marriage in
the first place. I insisted she must be born
again before I would propose to her.
Then, she
was more of a church goer.

Attraction

She was innocent, young
and respectful. These were
the things that attracted
me to her.

Proposing to Her

I don’t think I proposed to
her. One thing led to
another. I just said to her
‘let’s go and see your
family’. That was it. I didn’t
kneel down with banquet of
flowers and a diamond ring
to propose to her.

But I
knew I was going to marry her. When I insisted
she must be born again, that’s when it dawned
on me that she was going to be my wife. We
had been living together, even before we had
our first child. I’m not influenced by the
western culture.

20 years after marriage

I think tolerance and respecting each other’s
space is what has been keeping us in marriage.
I am a showbiz man, I hold a lot of meetings at
odd hours, and she’s a pastor.
We agreed to
pursue our individual careers. She told me she
has a desire to become a pastor.

I encouraged
her to go ahead and actualise her dream. But
she must not disturb me when I am pursuing
my own career. Our marriage has been built on
tolerance and allowing each other to have his/
her space. I respect her space as well as she
respects mine.

How we live

Most times, I’m domineering because I have
to dominate my house. And she respects my
decisions. Sometimes, she makes her own
decisions as well, and I respect them. I think
problem sets in when one party wants to lord it
over the other. Even though we are married, we
have our different destinies. She has her
destiny as a human being just as I have my
own destiny. It is for her to fulfill her destiny
just as it’s for me to fulfill mine. I will help her
to fulfill her destiny and she will help me to
fulfill mine. When my wife was setting up her
school, she told me that’s what she wanted. I
had wanted us to set up a farm. But she asked
me to support her and I did. As a man, you
must be in control of your house, but you must
not oppress your partner. In fact, most times,
it’s oppression and assertion of ‘my will and
not your will’ that leads to the break up of
most marriages.
I am waiting for him to join me in my ministry


— Wife
I am children’s pastor at Foursquare Gospel
Church, Surulere. I became a pastor in 2003. I
attended a Life Bible College in 2000, and
graduated in 2003. Our relationship started
when I was living with my elder sister. I was
very young then. Later, I got a job with Ibru
Sea foods. He has been a source of
encouragement to me. He is the kind of man
that does not interfere in his spouse’s career.
He gives you the chance to do whatever you
feel would give you happiness. Because of this,
I also encourage him in any project he wants
to embark upon. I always pray for him and
stand by him. I know God is doing wonderful
things in his life and I have no doubt in my
mind that one day, he will join me in my
ministry.

Proposing marriage

I love him and accepted his proposal for
marriage immediately. We had a child before
we got married.

What I saw in him

He’s a very brilliant person; he’s full of love
and caring. Those were the things that
attracted him to me. When I lost my dad in
1988, I needed somebody in my life. I came to
Lagos and was staying with my elder sister
before I met him. Then, he was like an elder
brother to me; he was not only giving me useful
advice, but, also, he was there for me. As a
matter of fact, I had no choice than to fall in
love with him. When you are with him, and you
are faithful and committed to him, he will
definitely bend his back for you.

What I don’t like about him

Will I say he’s the opposite of what I am? I
love him for that, because he complements my
efforts. If he’s not the way he is, may be I
wouldn’t have fallen in love with him.

Intimacy

He’s the type that doesn’t take his family for
granted. He ensures I’m always happy. He is my
best friend. We are very close to each other
and that’s what marriage is all about.

Advice to young couple

Like what I used to advice my first daughter
who is 23 now,. I always tell her that when
she’s ready to settle down, she should marry
somebody who will take her for whom she is;
somebody who will love and cherish her. There
are a lot of deceitful men out there. My
husband was serious with me and that was why
I married him.

Closeness to God

Before now, he was not a strong Christian. But,
today, he has come to realise that it’s good to
serve God. He goes to church regularly now. He
has promised to dedicated more of his time to
serving his Maker and I’m very happy for him. I
have been praying for God to touch him.