Okay this is not a personal issue or a men bashing thread.No one is perfect and i believe everyone has a defective quality which differs from person to person.like i had a weakness for chocolates even when pregnant but hubby helped me through.i decided to create this thread because of what my pastor in church said today.he was talking of different weaknesses of men and then really talked about cheating(sexually),he said when a man cheats on his wife,the duty of a wise woman is to take it as a weakness of her husband and take it to God in prayers.Now sincerly how many women can really accept cheating from your husband as a weakness.
In My own opinion if a full grown man who is very okay mentally and otherwise.wife is very ok too,no issue of over weight from the wife or not good in bed then decides to start having s-x with random girls,i wouldnt accept that as a weakness from him.to me is plain selfishness.
Let me hear from other ladies

Mrs mansson: Okay this is not a personal issue or a men bashing thread.No one is perfect and i believe everyone has a defective quality which differs from person to person.like i had a weakness for chocolates even when pregnant but hubby helped me through.i decided to create this thread [b]because of what my pastor in church said today.he was talking of different weaknesses of men and then really talked about cheating(sexually),he said when a man cheats on his wife,the duty of a wise woman is to take it as a weakness of her husband and take it to God in prayers.[/b]Now sincerly how many women can really accept cheating from your husband as a weakness.
In My own opinion if a full grown man who is very okay mentally and otherwise.wife is very ok too,no issue of over weight from the wife or not good in bed then decides to start having s-x with random girls,i wouldnt accept that as a weakness from him.to me is plain selfishness.
Let me hear from other ladies

If your pastor actually said the highlighted part in the affirmative, its high time you changed church.
What the hell are these people preaching nowadays... Its the duty of the wife to run after a man with no self-control? The pastor already making excuses for erring husbands. If I were a member of that church, I will surely put a searchlight on that pastor...

bellong:

If your pastor actually said the highlighted part in the affirmative, its high time you changed church.
What the hell are these people preaching nowadays... Its the duty of the wife to run after a man with no self-control? The pastor already making excuses for erring husbands. If I were a member of that church, I will surely put a searchlight on that pastor...

Very well said.

Reminds me of one who told me that a woman whose husband has cheated needs to go on her knees before her husband and ask him if she offended him........wait ooo, not before calling him all the sweet names on earth. What a load of thrash

Mrs mansson: Okay this is not a personal issue or a men bashing thread.No one is perfect and i believe everyone has a defective quality which differs from person to person.like i had a weakness for chocolates even when pregnant but hubby helped me through.i decided to create this thread because of what my pastor in church said today.he was talking of different weaknesses of men and then really talked about cheating(sexually),he said when a man cheats on his wife,the duty of a wise woman is to take it as a weakness of her husband and take it to God in prayers.

If she kicks his stank a*ss to the curb, it is the duty of the wise husband to see it as a weakness in his wife and take it to God in prayers.

The kind of pastors littering churches these days nah only God go save us.Your pastor indirectly encouraged his members to cheat and their wives to be understanding when it happens,which indirectly means that he is probably sleeping with someone in the church hence he decided to shroud his atrocity in a fancy word"weakness".Thank God we all have direct access to God,i really can't stand these pastors.

Still scratching my nose after reading OP.

I wish I could turn into a bug and crawl into men brethren's brain to imagine their level of excitement after that 'ministration '.

Cheating=Weakness ... Always shifting blames every freaking time jeez

*Shudders*

Lobatan. Am sure that pastor is cheating on his wife already and stylishly passing a message to his wifey,so when she finds out she takes it as her hubby weakness.

I hope he also preached for men to acknowledge their wives weaknesses when they do same?

Lol, where did Pastor get his Biblical backing from?
The Bible I knows say Divorce on grounds of adultery.
Seems now we just make up the rules and stand on the altar and pass it off as Gods word. Hian

jennykadry: I hope he also preached for men to acknowledge their wives weaknesses when they do same?

For where, what is good for the goose is an abomination for the gander oh

So cheating is a weakness now? Chei, the things men get away with. SMH!

@Op,

If your Pastor understand Yoruba, please play this song for him on Sunday... The main message is "who actually is serving God"

Sang by one of the then good gospel musicians (Evangelist Niyi Adedokun)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sODmCvVixW0

All these business men masquerading as pastors. As in eh? @op Like bellong said, i think its about time you changed churches or better still worship your Creator at home. I'm currently doing the latter.

I thought i was the only one who didnt buy the pastors idea.now let me really explain what he was saying.he wasnt talking about a serial cheat of a husband, he made an illustration with a lady in the former church he pastored.according to him the lady was married to her husband for over 10years and everything was fine but all of a sudden the man started cheating.he kept talking to the lady saying how it was the devil trying to destroy her home and she should have a little patience,accept it as a weakness for now and very soon such stage would pass,but the lady refused and had to do it her own way.she tailed her husband one day to a hotel and poured acid on the girl,unfortunately for her the lady died and the family of the late concubine took it up to the court and now the wife is in prison.
So my pastor is saying a wise woman builds and not destroy.that when your husband wasnt a cheat and as time went on the wife notices it,it shouldnt be a time of fighting.so that was were the cheating as a weakness came in
Funny enough the men seated close to me were saying in a low tone that women dont listen.that no woman gets the husband's attention through fighting

Imo it can be seen as weakness to make one acknowledge that you cannot overcome temptation by your strength but by grace

It should not be seen as excuse to continually sin

Mrs mansson: I thought i was the only one who didnt buy the pastors idea.now let me really explain what he was saying.he wasnt talking about a serial cheat of a husband, he made an illustration with a lady in the former church he pastored.according to him the lady was married to her husband for over 10years and everything was fine but all of a sudden the man started cheating.he kept talking to the lady saying how it was the devil trying to destroy her home and she should have a little patience,accept it as a weakness for now and very soon such stage would pass,but the lady refused and had to do it her own way.she tailed her husband one day to a hotel and poured acid on the girl,unfortunately for her the lady died and the family of the late concubine took it up to the court and now the wife is in prison.
So my pastor is saying a wise woman builds and not destroy.that when your husband wasnt a cheat and as time went on the wife notices it,it shouldnt be a time of fighting.so that was were the cheating as a weakness came in
Funny enough the men seated close to me were saying in a low tone that women dont listen.that no woman gets the husband's attention through fighting

Lord if not for anything I thank you for delivering me from such mind set and extreme slavery.
I thank You for removing me from such wicked sermons aimed at making me carry a burden that is not mine.

Thank God for delivering me from those who teach me that a mans adultery is my fault, my black eye is my fault.

Thank You for teaching me to study your word by yourself and delivering me from people who use your altar to justify evil.

Now that am on the other side I see it for what it is bull crap

Mrs mansson: I thought i was the only one who didnt buy the pastors idea.now let me really explain what he was saying.he wasnt talking about a serial cheat of a husband, he made an illustration with a lady in the former church he pastored.according to him the lady was married to her husband for over 10years and everything was fine but all of a sudden the man started cheating.he kept talking to the lady saying how it was the devil trying to destroy her home and she should have a little patience,accept it as a weakness for now and very soon such stage would pass,but the lady refused and had to do it her own way.she tailed her husband one day to a hotel and poured acid on the girl,unfortunately for her the lady died and the family of the late concubine took it up to the court and now the wife is in prison.
So my pastor is saying a wise woman builds and not destroy.that when your husband wasnt a cheat and as time went on the wife notices it,it shouldnt be a time of fighting.so that was were the cheating as a weakness came in
Funny enough the men seated close to me were saying in a low tone that women dont listen.that no woman gets the husband's attention through fighting

I don't know about you ladies, but I find the bolded bit high BP inducing!

I mean like seriously?! Women should be patient and wait for what? HIV? Numerous STD nasties?? What cheek! Choi! Nigerian women living in Naija don suffer.

What nonesense! And to cap it all, the mumu-ish wife, rather than take on her issues with the man chose to attack the concubine? How many concubines was she planning on melting with HCL? Talk about treating the symptoms rather than the root cause. Mtcheew!

Mrs Mansson, abeg, that your pastor sounds fishy. Come to think of it, what happened to his 'former' church? Was he sussed out for what he really is, and so decided to jump ship??

jennykadry: Reminds me of one who told me that a woman whose husband has cheated needs to go on her knees before her husband and ask him if she offended him........wait ooo, not before calling him all the sweet names on earth. What a load of thrash

Please Jenny, send me the link of that Nollywood movie. I really do need to watch something really dumb to help me unwind this evening jare.

debrief08:

For where, what is good for the goose is an abomination for the gander oh

On point as usual. I wonder how many people swallowed that crap hook, line and sinker??

Mrs mansson:
In My own opinion if a full grown man who is very okay mentally and otherwise.wife is very ok too,no issue of over weight from the wife or not good in bed then decides to start having s-x with random girls,i wouldnt accept that as a weakness from him.to me is plain selfishness.

'Cheating' is just a man's biology running it's course.

On a biological level, an arrangement like marriage is as ridiculous as joining a billy goat and doe in an exclusive union.

If you can be objective enough to cut to it's roots, the reason you are so averse to 'cheating' also has a biological motivation.

Sure, we're all human and have these strong involuntary emotions. However, we should also incorporate a higher tolerance band for one's NATURAL & NORMAL biologically motivated actions.

His weaknesses are part and parcel of him!

I have come to LOVE, CHERISH AND ACCEPT THEM!!!

Just like he loves me JUST THE WAY I AM!!!!

Amen!!!!!

We build on our strengths ONLY. Without letting the weaknesses get in the way!!!!!!

We don need NO GOD or PASTOR to teach us COMMONSENSICAL tins!!!!!

mgbeketoto: His weaknesses are part and parcel of him!

I have come to LOVE, CHERISH AND ACCEPT THEM!!!

Just like he loves me JUST THE WAY I AM!!!!

Amen!!!!!

We build on our strengths ONLY. Without letting the weaknesses get in the way!!!!!!

We don need NO GOD or PASTOR to teach us COMMONSENSICAL tins!!!!!

Good.

jennykadry: Reminds me of one who told me that a woman whose husband has cheated needs to go on her knees before herhusband and ask him if she offended him........wait ooo, not before calling him all the sweet ames on earth. What a load of thrash

In as much as i dont support cheating at all no matter the excuse cos to me is a sign of lack of respect to ur wife, selfish, immature, inconsiderate to the health of the entire family, breach of trust and being irresponsible.

however, the cheated wife should not forget that u dont fight fire with fire. Yes, you will definitely loose your cool when u find out at the initial time but never throw away the bath with the baby cos theres poo in the water. He has betray ur trust, set aside sentiment and look into his eyes and tell him how bitter u feel about it, dont grovel on the ground with tears but rather stand tall and let him know his wrong.

Still, find it necessary to take it up in PRAYER cos without God you can achieve nothing. pray ur husband out of cheating unless u dont want your home anymore. Remember a wise woman gathers her home but the foolish tears it apart with her own hand. Apologise to ur hubby if he feels bad abt how u speak to him while within u, u know the message has been passed already, be patient with him while u keep praying him out of that cheating life hopefully u will bring him back to ur life am sure of that.

Be wise.

First of all, I will strongly encourage the OP to change church and if this church is a parish under a bigger umbrella church, find a way to report to a more senior pastor so that the congregation are not fed rubbish. Cheating is a sin against God and against man and it is enough reason for divorce. Cheating should never be taught as a weakness but as sin and that is what it is. In fact lusting after another woman is sin (God help the guys) talk less of cheating. Don't know where these kinda pastors come from. May be another case of a "higher level of grace". Cheating is a choice!

blessed indeed:

In as much as i dont support cheating at all no matter the excuse cos to me is a sign of lack of respect to ur wife, selfish, immature, inconsiderate to the health of the entire family, breach of trust and being irresponsible.

however, the cheated wife should not forget that u dont fight fire with fire. Yes, you will definitely loose your cool when u find out at the initial time but never throw away the bath with the baby cos theres poo in the water. He has betray ur trust, set aside sentiment and look into his eyes and tell him how bitter u feel about it, dont grovel on the ground with tears but rather stand tall and let him know his wrong.

Still, find it necessary to take it up in PRAYER cos without God you can achieve nothing. pray ur husband out of cheating unless u dont want your home anymore. Remember a wise woman gathers her home but the foolish tears it apart with her own hand. Apologise to ur hubby if he feels bad abt how u speak to him while within u, u know the message has been passed already, be patient with him while u keep praying him out of that cheating life hopefully u will bring him back to ur life am sure of that.

Be wise.

Has this ever happened to you and was that your reaction? Or you are just telling us theory here? When you marry, you make vows to God. Cheating is directly breaking those vows and effectively ending the marriage. In fact a cheating man (or woman) together with his girlfriend have put assunder what God has joined together. It can be especially painful when you have put your entire life and resources into the marriage. It can also be very dangerous, apart from contacting STDs you do not know what the other woman/man is planning; so it has to be very carefully dealt with. Its just not about telling your spouse they are wrong. You need to know who the person is, the kind of relationship they have before deciding whether or not you want to continue with the marriage. Cheating can even put the wife's life in danger if the concubine is evil and vice versa.

Women,always at d receiving end!

I won't want to be a member of such a church.I can actually walk up to the pastor after church and kindly ask him to clarify what he just mentioned.depending on his maturity he may end up loathing me

Richfella:

'Cheating' is just a man's biology running it's course.

On a biological level, an arrangement like marriage is as ridiculous as joining a billy goat and doe in an exclusive union.

If you can be objective enough to cut to it's roots, the reason you are so averse to 'cheating' also has a biological motivation.

Sure, we're all human and have these strong involuntary emotions. However, we should also incorporate a higher tolerance band for one's NATURAL & NORMAL biologically motivated actions.

Lol, first are you a Christian? If you are where is it in your bible that cheating is only a man's natural disposition? Our natural disposition is to sin, before Jesus saved us. There is no sin that is specific to men only. Cheating cuts across genders. It's not about any biology running any course in Christiandom. If you are not a Christian, forget I asked you that. I only engage Christians when it comes to biblical matters.

blessed indeed:

In as much as i dont support cheating at all no matter the excuse cos to me is a sign of lack of respect to ur wife, selfish, immature, inconsiderate to the health of the entire family, breach of trust and being irresponsible.

however, the cheated wife should not forget that u dont fight fire with fire. Yes, you will definitely loose your cool when u find out at the initial time but never throw away the bath with the baby cos theres poo in the water. He has betray ur trust, set aside sentiment and look into his eyes and tell him how bitter u feel about it, dont grovel on the ground with tears but rather stand tall and let him know his wrong.

Still, find it necessary to take it up in PRAYER cos without God you can achieve nothing. pray ur husband out of cheating unless u dont want your home anymore. Remember a wise woman gathers her home but the foolish tears it apart with her own hand. Apologise to ur hubby if he feels bad abt how u speak to him while within u, u know the message has been passed already, be patient with him while u keep praying him out of that cheating life hopefully u will bring him back to ur life am sure of that.

Be wise.

Spoken like a true Nigerian living in 'servitude' and 'self-bondage'.

I hope you dish this Nollywood advice to your daughter if it ever happens to her. To grin and bear it.

blessed indeed:

In as much as i dont support cheating at all no matter the excuse cos to me is a sign of lack of respect to ur wife, selfish, immature, inconsiderate to the health of the entire family, breach of trust and being irresponsible.

however, the cheated wife should not forget that u dont fight fire with fire. Yes, you will definitely loose your cool when u find out at the initial time but never throw away the bath with the baby cos theres poo in the water. He has betray ur trust, set aside sentiment and look into his eyes and tell him how bitter u feel about it, dont grovel on the ground with tears but rather stand tall and let him know his wrong.

Still, find it necessary to take it up in PRAYER cos without God you can achieve nothing. pray ur husband out of cheating [/b]unless u dont want your home anymore. Remember a wise woman gathers her home but the foolish tears it apart with her own hand. [b]Apologise to ur hubby if he feels bad abt how u speak to him while within u, u know the message has been passed already, be patient with him while u keep praying him out of that cheating life hopefully u will bring him back to ur life am sure of that.

Be wise.

Could you please give me biblical references that turn a cheating husband to a tin god?

^^ Can you imagine?

Talk about rewarding bad behaviour. It would be interesting if @OP (assuming na man), would apply the same principle of apologising, praying and exercising patience to his cheating wife!

Mtcheew!

Mrs mansson: I thought i was the only one who didnt buy the pastors idea.now let me really explain what he was saying.he wasnt talking about a serial cheat of a husband, he made an illustration with a lady in the former church he pastored.according to him the lady was married to her husband for over 10years and everything was fine but all of a sudden the man started cheating.he kept talking to the lady saying how it was the devil trying to destroy her home and she should have a little patience,accept it as a weakness for now and very soon such stage would pass,but the lady refused and had to do it her own way.she tailed her husband one day to a hotel and poured acid on the girl,unfortunately for her the lady died and the family of the late concubine took it up to the court and now the wife is in prison.
So my pastor is saying a wise woman builds and not destroy.that when your husband wasnt a cheat and as time went on the wife notices it,it shouldnt be a time of fighting.so that was were the cheating as a weakness came in
Funny enough the men seated close to me were saying in a low tone that women dont listen.that no woman gets the husband's attention through fighting

The woman must be really fooolish. Attacking the woman instead of her philandering husband.

That acid should have been used on the man instead of his GF. . . . Women sha!