It’s amazing how much misinformation is out there
about the vagina. Given how fascinated our society is
with the female body, you’d think we’d be a little more
informed. But from what I discovered while soliciting
questions for my book What’s Up Down There?
Questions You’d Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was
Your Best Friend, many of us still have a lot to learn.
To help out, I’ve compiled a list of 20 things I believe
everyone should know about the vagina.
1. While men do pee out of the penis, women do not pee
out of the vagina. There are three holes and countless
other sexy structures. Learn to know your anatomy. Get
a hand mirror and go to town. From front to back, the
urethra is the first hole, the vagina is the second, and the
anus is the third. Don’t laugh! You’d be amazed how
many people don’t know this.
2. The vagina doesn’t connect to your lung. If you lose
something in there, don’t worry. Reach in all the way
and pull it out. Do not–I repeat, do not–go hunting for
whatever you’ve lost with a pair of pliers. If you think
you put something in there and you can’t find it,
chances are good that it’s simply not there. Think of
your vagina as being like a sock. If you lose a banana in
a sock…it stays in the sock.
3. Yes, it’s true–your vagina can fall out. Not to belabor
the sock metaphor, but it can turn inside out just like a
worn out sweat sock and hang between your legs as you
get older. But don’t fret; this condition–called pelvic
prolapse– can be fixed.
4. Contrary to popular mythology, there’s no such thing
as being revirginized. Once you lose it, it’s gone. Just
so you know.
5. You can catch sexually transmitted diseases even if
you use a condom. Sorry to break it to you, but the skin
of the vulva can still touch infectious skin of the
scrotum–and BAM! Warts. Herpes. Molluscum
contagiosum. Pubic lice. So pick your partners
carefully.
6. The vagina is like a bicep. Use it or lose it. If you
don’t have a partner, pick up a battery-operated
boyfriend to help keep things healthy as you age. But
don’t worry–it’s usually not an issue until after
menopause, when fragile vaginal tissue can scar and
shrink. If properly tended, your vagina will be able to
pleasure you until the day you leave this life.
7. Every vulva is different and special. Some lips hang
down. Some are tucked up neatly inside. Some are long.
Some are short. Some are even. Some aren’t. All are
beautiful. You’re perfect just the way you are.
8. Most women don’t have orgasms from intercourse
alone. The clitoris is where the action is. Most women
who do orgasm during sex have figured out how to hit
their sweet spot, either from positioning or from direct
stimulation of the clitoris with fingers.
9. If you’re hunting for your G Spot, be patient.
Stimulating this area usually requires more time and
deeper stimulation than most people think. Try using a
finger in a “come hither” motion to stimulate the front
wall of the vagina, where the G spot lives. If you can’t
find it, don’t worry. You’re not alone. Many can’t–and
it’s definitely not critical to having a fulfilling romp in
the hay.
10. How you choose to decorate is completely personal.
Waxing, shaving, tattooing, piercing, or simply going au
natural. It’s your choice, and don’t let anyone else
pressure you into doing something that doesn’t resonate
with you.
11. The vagina doesn’t need to be douched. As Eve
Ensler says, ““My vagina doesn’t need to be cleaned up.
It smells good already. Don’t try to decorate. Don’t
believe him when he tells you it smells like rose petals
when it’s supposed to smell like pussy. That’s what
they’re doing – trying to clean it up, make it smell like
bathroom spray or a garden. All those douche sprays–
floral, berry, rain. I don’t want my pussy to smell like
rain. All cleaned up like washing a fish after you cook it.
I want to taste the fish. That’s why I ordered it.” Amen,
sister. I second that.
12. The only cancer a Pap smear screens for is cervical
cancer. It doesn’t check your ovaries, your uterus, or
your colon, so even if you don’t need yearly Paps, you
still need to have a yearly pelvic exam.
13. How much vaginal discharge you make varies
widely. Some normal, healthy women spew loads of
discharge and need to wear panty liners every day.
Others are bone dry. As long as you are not at risk of
STD’s and you have no itching, burning, or odor, you’re
probably just fine. If in doubt, see your gynecologist.
14. Menstrual blood is supposed to clot, so don’t freak
out. Usually, what you think are clots are just pieces of
uterine lining. As long as you’re not losing too much
blood, small clots during your period need not concern
you. Clots are just nature’s way of keeping you from
bleeding too much. Blood is supposed to clot. It’s when
the clots are large or you start to hemorrhage that we
start to worry.
15. Lots of vaginas need help lubing up during sex,
especially as you get older. Don’t be afraid to slick on
some lubricant like K-Y Jelly or Astroglide. Or try
coconut oil, which is a great natural lubricant- but don’t
blame me if you find yourself hankering for a post-coital
macaroon.
16. Vaginal farts (some call them “queefs” or “varts”)
happen to almost all women at one time or another,
especially during sex or other forms of exercise. Don’t
be embarrassed. You’re perfectly normal.
17. Vaginas stretch out when you have babies
vaginally. It’s natural but it can leave you feeling a bit
loosey goosey. Kegel exercises that contract the
muscles of the vagina really do help. To do them,
practice stopping the stream of urine when you pee.
There–that’s the muscle! Now contract and relax it 10 X
for three or more sets several times per day.
18. Some women do ejaculate during orgasm, but
you’re normal if you don’t. The controversial “female
ejaculation” most likely represents two different
phenomena. If it’s a small amount of milky fluid, it likely
comes from the paraurethral glands inside the urethra. If
it’s a cup, it’s probably pee. Many times, it may be a
little bit of both. But don’t stress out about peeing on
yourself. Put a towel under you and surrender to the
experience.
19. Sex shouldn’t hurt, but it does for many women. If
you’re one of those women, see your doctor. So many
women are too embarrassed to say anything, so they
suffer in silence. There are things we docs can do to
help you.
20. Safe sex (or even just orgasm alone) is good for
you. Benefits include lowering your risk of heart
disease and stroke, reducing your risk of breast cancer,
bolstering your immune system, helping you sleep,
making you appear more youthful, improving your
fitness, regulating menstrual cycles, relieving menstrual
cramps, helping with chronic pain, reducing the risk
of depression, lowering stress levels, and improving self
esteem. So go at it, girlfriends!
So there you go. There you have it. It’s important to
know this kind of stuff, because you can’t truly love all
of yourself until you love your girly parts. Your vagina is
the portal to all things magical in your life. Once you
own and accept this part of yourself, you can do and be
anything you choose. The more you know, the more
you’re empowered to live life out loud, love fully, and
really rock this life.

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