How Does He Feel??? - Romance - Nairaland
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| How Does He Feel??? by paradoxqueen: 3:50am On Sep 14, 2013 |
Hello I am seeking advice about a Nigerian man I have recently started dating and more.... I am a 27 year old white American girl. He has been in the U.S. for a couple if months. We met on an internet dating site. We only exchanged a brief email and then numbers. After our first conversation I was completely excited. We more just talked about life government a small things. I knew I wanted to meet him. We talked all week pretty often and for long durations. He wanted to meet me from the start I believe more out of boredom. However the next weekend I was near where he was called him and went to meet him more to just introduce myself. However we ended up going out and got back to his place late but didnt want to let each other go. So I stayed all night. We didnt do anything but talk kiss and cuddle. We continue talking, we see each other daily even if only a hour. He invites me to everything. I have already met some of his family. He is the most amazing man. He has expressed he likes me a lot and I believe he does but I am finding myself already dreaming for the future with him. He has spoke about us in the future also. But I dont know exactly where I stand. He says I am his girlfriend to people now and changed his get married in 2 years plan to a year after I complained his plan was too long. But I dont know exactly how he feels or where I stand and I am not about to ask him. I dont want him to know how strongly I already feel for him. But how do i know? Because of a huge culture difference I know that things he says or does may not have the same meaning. Please dont mention papers I am aware of that and unconcerned. |
| Re: How Does He Feel??? by DeHero1: 5:52am On Sep 14, 2013 |
You know him... but I don't. You've met him... but I haven't. You're d one to study and certify him okay. Remember, we're talking about YOUR future. 4 Likes |
| Re: How Does He Feel??? by ilaugh1: 6:42am On Sep 14, 2013 |
You are making a great mistake by coming here to seek advice. I advice you to run away from this place and face your man yourself. 1 Like |
| Re: How Does He Feel??? by pasqal09: 6:51am On Sep 14, 2013 |
i_laugh: You are making a great mistake by coming here to seek advice. I advice you to run away from this place and face your man yourself.That's not true. Oga y u de talk rubbish?  |
| Re: How Does He Feel??? by tnktosin(m): 8:17am On Sep 14, 2013 |
Just like De-Hero said, you know him better than anyone else on this forum and I'd advise you take your time and study him for yourself, you're your best counsel. Wish you best of luck. Ps; nairaland.com is not always the best place to seek relationship advice, once spoilers come trooping in, they might just get you more confused than you were. |
| Re: How Does He Feel??? by Ab025(m): 8:52am On Sep 14, 2013 |
@poster......ask ur man directly, face-to-face,"where do u stand in his heart...?" Dnt be scared, the earlier u know where the r/ship is heading, the earlier u will know what to expect Don't wait until u hav fallen in luv with him 120%, then he will now tell u that he has no plans to marry u!! Ask him now and know what to expect in d future Dnt give up, am sure he really luvs u 2 Likes |
| Re: How Does He Feel??? by paradoxqueen: 6:08pm On Sep 15, 2013 |
Thank you all for the advice. I still haven't asked him I am way too scared to do that but we have really had a great weekend together he finally just went home  but he is so hard to figure out. So even after a weekend together I still dont know anymore then I knew before. |
| Re: How Does He Feel??? by ichidodo: 6:25pm On Sep 15, 2013 |
What tribe is he? So that we can better predict yet understand his upbringing, core-like/dislikes,what motivates him most, his desires,maybe his goals and then advise you better. |
| Re: How Does He Feel??? by Nobody: 7:00pm On Sep 15, 2013 |
Do U know D meaning of yanshing? U guys should try dat out den come back to tell us if u're made for each other. #cheers |
| Re: How Does He Feel??? by Nobody: 7:21pm On Sep 15, 2013 |
De-Hero: Agreed. |
| Re: How Does He Feel??? by paradoxqueen: 7:33pm On Sep 15, 2013 |
I am not sure how to spell it because he said something about it starts with like a h that makes some other sound and he lost me after that. We have a hard time understanding each other when we speak. He says I speak too fast, he has an accent, and we call things different names. So when told me his tribe I only got the whole I am from... couldn't catch the name didnt know it was important thought maybe he was just telling me his origin of his kin. But he started talking about the different sound thing and completely lost me. But I also have no idea what yanshing is. |
| Re: How Does He Feel??? by ichidodo: 9:38pm On Sep 15, 2013 |
Yanshing means sex.Get us his tribe info and it will be so much easier to analyse your boubou. |
| Re: How Does He Feel??? by paradoxqueen: 12:41am On Sep 16, 2013 |
If that is what yanshing means then we have already tried that out 5 or 6 times. We do a lot of that  so how is that going to help me know? |
| Re: How Does He Feel??? by Nobody: 1:34am On Sep 16, 2013 |
i_laugh: You are making a great mistake by coming here to seek advice. I advice you to run away from this place and face your man yourself.The situation isn't as bad as u wanna paint it, there are still sensible people who give good advice on this forum. |
| Re: How Does He Feel??? by 190: 1:37am On Sep 16, 2013 |
i_laugh: You are making a great mistake by coming here to seek advice. I advice you to run away from this place and face your man yourself.  well i think the guy's gud IMO OP marry him ure in good hands but dont forget if he phucks up __ 190 still dey here oh  |
| Re: How Does He Feel??? by Nobody: 5:35am On Sep 16, 2013 |
paradoxqueen: If that is what yanshing means then we have already tried that out 5 or 6 times. We do a lot of that lolz |
| Re: How Does He Feel??? by Idowuogbo(f): 9:42am On Sep 16, 2013 |
paradoxqueen: If that is what yanshing means then we have already tried that out 5 or 6 times. We do a lot of thatBaaaaad girl!  |
| Re: How Does He Feel??? by Nobody: 10:21am On Sep 16, 2013 |
He's been in the US for just a 'coupla months' according to you - and you're already talking marriage? The African black mamba can do and undo, tell you . |
| Re: How Does He Feel??? by Idowuogbo(f): 10:24am On Sep 16, 2013 |
Richfella: He's been in the US for just a 'coupla months' according to you - and you're already talking marriage?Gbam# JJC talk 2yrs, u change am to 1 year and u think he gon let u have ur way just like dat? Missy, if u find urself in a hole, u stop digging. |
| Re: How Does He Feel??? by kreamidiva(f): 10:33am On Sep 16, 2013 |
Lolzzzz at the replies! I bet u she's gonna be more confused than before with some of the comments above. Since his tribe started with "h",I'm guessing he's "higbo" or "hishan" or "horuba" or "hausa"! Just pick one. Goodluck. 1 Like |
| Re: How Does He Feel??? by kayClt(f): 11:56am On Sep 16, 2013 |
paradoxqueen: If that is what yanshing means then we have already tried that out 5 or 6 times. We do a lot of thatgirl!!! dose yanshing periods were d best tym to get tins frm him. Wen u do it for the 7th tym. Ask him ur quest |
| Re: How Does He Feel??? by Sapphire86(f): 12:05pm On Sep 16, 2013 |
kayClt: girl!!! dose yanshing periods were d best tym to get tins frm him. Wen u do it for the 7th tym. Ask him ur quest I disagree oh, when u ask a h*orn*y guy what his feelings towards u are, what do u HONESTLY expect him to say? OP, my sincere advise would be for you to b patient and observe little things. Its the little things we fail to pay attention to that help out @ d end. Pls it's too early to start planning your wedding and discussing it after all he just came into the states. Love him but love WISELY else u might end up being a ladder unto better and greater things. P.S. How was d nyanshing? Beta dan the white dude |
| Re: How Does He Feel??? by Idowuogbo(f): 12:24pm On Sep 16, 2013 |
Sapphire86:I trust u... Onisokuso! Lmao! |
| Re: How Does He Feel??? by Monicasque(f): 12:29pm On Sep 16, 2013 |
not every nigerian man who asks an american girl out is paper or evil motivated. U have to know again that men hate it when we nag. if yols r meant for marriage , just be patient it will happen naturally in its own way. By pushing him into it u r only pushing him away. just go along , take it 1 step at the time. open your eyes and your heart and allow nature to take control coz the last thing u want is to get married to a man who is not ready. No need to ask many questions. Just go with the flow. 2 Likes |
| Re: How Does He Feel??? by Sapphire86(f): 12:33pm On Sep 16, 2013 |
Idowuogbo: No be u I dey follow? Abegi, like if she said he was horrible u won't b defending d African guy!! |
| Re: How Does He Feel??? by ITbomb(m): 3:20pm On Sep 16, 2013 |
Is he an Igbo man? Before I can understand the 'Cultural Difference' |
| Re: How Does He Feel??? by paradoxqueen: 4:26pm On Sep 16, 2013 |
He is hasua. But sex is pretty good he falls in my top 10 but he isnt the best I ever had. I cant compare him to white men because I have never be one! I do expect to get my way. Why shouldn't I? But after I got him to change it from 2 years to one I I told him it would take 6-8 months to get a dress...hoping he would see the importance of needing to purpose soon. I don't understand why it is taking him so long to purpose to me. There are men around me who have put the offer out there and are dieing for me to say yes. But he is who I want. I am not worried about the paper thing. |
| Re: How Does He Feel??? by Idowuogbo(f): 4:53pm On Sep 16, 2013 |
paradoxqueen: He is hasua. But sex is pretty good he falls in my top 10 but he isnt the best I ever had. I cant compare him to white men because I have never be one!Lmao! Queen Sheba! U surely get ur way..but, bear in mind ur way is d high way. I trust my brudahs, u'll defo get it d way u want it. Menu Starter- Proposal Main course - Marriage Dessert- Divorce |
| Re: How Does He Feel??? by Fkforyou(m): 5:19pm On Sep 16, 2013 |
Lol....@nyanshing |
| Re: How Does He Feel??? by Nobody: 5:50pm On Sep 16, 2013 |
If you are crazy about this guy as much as you claim, then go to Nigeria and see your man. Spend a couple of weeks. If you are sensitive enough, you'd be able to spot any hidden agenda - marriage or engagement to another. You mentioned he is hausa, you dint tell us his religion. Most hausa men are muslims and they take their religion 'very' seriously. They also don't marry just one wife. I don't wana be a spoil sport, but I feel u taking this too far. I mean the whole future thingy. Slow down! However, there are many other good nigerian men that will rank amongst ur top 3 wen it comes to ѕєχ, who are ready to blow you away.. PM me for recommendations..  |
| Re: How Does He Feel??? by paradoxqueen: 6:27pm On Sep 16, 2013 |
I believe he is Christian. He attends church. He has invited me but I declined. He made a comment that if I was to be with him I would need to go sometimes just at least to make an appearance. Whatever that means . But it is not the only thing he said I would need to do. He wants me to learn to cook. I am not sure how he expects this to happen. He has said we should take a trip to Nigeria so I can better understand him but I dont know about all that either. I don't see why I would need to fly 20 hours away and stay somewhere a couple of weeks to understand him. I am not concerned about him not being number one in the bedroom. He might be able to work his way to that point. I love who he is as a person. And I really want to be with him. He tries hard to please me. I just dont understand where he is going with me. |
| Re: How Does He Feel??? by Nobody: 7:14pm On Sep 16, 2013 |
paradoxqueen: I believe he is Christian. He attends church. He has invited me but I declined. He made a comment that if I was to be with him I would need to go sometimes just at least to make an appearance. Whatever that means . But it is not the only thing he said I would need to do. He wants me to learn to cook. I am not sure how he expects this to happen. I empathize with you. If I'm to make deductions and possibly inference from what you said, it is obvious the guy equally loves you and he is willing to explore the boundaries of marriage irrespective of the cultural differences btw u 2. He invited you? And you declined? You don't see the need to make a 20hr trip? This is someone you say you love. Honoring his invitation sldnt be a big deal. Esply if you love him as u claim. I have a hunch that you will get all the answers to your questions when you make the trip over to see him. BTW, you also need to learn to cook. The way to a man heart isn't only through his ρєηιѕ, but his stomach too. We don't play with home made meals! 3 Likes |
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