Dont b a pessimist rather u shld b optimistic nd prayerful. Wish u well.

@ Op: I think that question is relative. Because people deal with issues in far different ways. So there could never really be a "worst thing". For some, the untimely death of a partner is a huge blow however the surviving partner is married again in less than a year (nothing wrong with that mind you). While others placed in the same circumstance, never get over it and never remarry. For some its cheating. The aggrieved person may try to commit suicide or kill the erring partner. Others will simply "get even" and start an affair of their own. So its relative to me o.
Whatever you are going through, remember that God blessed your union and he wouldn't place an undue burden on you that you cant handle. This tribulation you may be facing in your marriage too shall pass. It is well Madam.

When the husband is living with child he didn't father but not knowing.

Okija_juju:




The worst that can happen is that you die (without him using you for Ogwu ego)..

ona2: @bellong @peak... U guys got it wrong. Not that am thinking about something bad happening to my marriage. But there are thousands of stories out there of how marriages have turned out. Was hoping stories could be shared here to help married nairalanders. I mean i have an aunt who used to say she can never marry a man who beats up his wife until her husband started tongue lashing her with strong words which was more painful than physical batterning. as in he was attacking her emotions. she suffered until she found a means and started speaking to his reasoning. it was not easy. every little thing she did, the man just took pride at saying different hurting words which cut her deeply. coupled with prayer, the situation changed.

but u got me confused cos u sa¥ing tvvo different things, vvould ve love to share a stor¥ vvith u, but time t¥ping is the issue, but u knovv hovv things vvere betvveen u 2 b4 u signed up for it, forget about the vvorst things and put ur mind to make it vvork,

cos the vvorst u cud do is leave him, and trust me another vvoman is vvaiting patientl¥ for that opportunit¥, please appreciate vvat u ve cos u ll neva knovv hovv valuable he is untill u loose him.

If there's understanding, distance shouldnt be a problem, e><cept u vvan talk sa¥ another person don de¥ totori u.

ona2: @bellong @peak... U guys got it wrong. Not that am thinking about something bad happening to my marriage. But there are thousands of stories out there of how marriages have turned out. Was hoping stories could be shared here to help married nairalanders. I mean i have an aunt who used to say she can never marry a man who beats up his wife until her husband started tongue lashing her with strong words which was more painful than physical batterning. as in he was attacking her emotions. she suffered until she found a means and started speaking to his reasoning. it was not easy. every little thing she did, the man just took pride at saying different hurting words which cut her deeply. coupled with prayer, the situation changed.

then, what is stopping you from praying, too?

Sagamite: Worst thing that could happen?

A woman finds out her husband is a poof. An arsse-bastardiser!

sagamite, cld u explain dis a little. Am lost o.

Infidelity and disrespect

My sister, the worst thing doesn't usually happen IN the marriage, it happens outside the marriage, you know, when its over, na then you go know! Lol. Abeg try remain inside.

Victosin09: The worst thing that can happen in a marriage is lack of communication. This kills faster than a grenade.
@OP, ur marriage is what you make of it. Goodluck babey!

thanks dearie!

....It all depends on the individual.

What is a negative event for one, is an opportunity for another. There is no perfect life. You need to make the best out of what you have.

Once the trust between you and partner is broken, that marriage crumbles. I've witnessed and I'm witnessing a marriage crumbling right now just because of trust issues, I pray God can salvage what's left of the marriage.

The worst thing that can happen to a marriage is when you marry a NAGGING woman.. My neighbor is a typical example and i can almost swear that sometimes the man runs out of the house with his pants on his shoulder and his tie in his mouth to continue dressing up for work on the staircase because of a constantly nagging wife.

specialguest: The worst thing that can happen to a marriage is when you marry a NAGGING woman.. My neighbor is a typical example and i can almost swear that sometimes the man runs out of the house with his pants on his shoulder and his tie in his mouth to continue dressing up for work on the staircase because of a constantly nagging wife.

....This is not the worst that can happen in a marriage. I take it you are yet to see the real world nor know the real world.

What about child abuse, incestx, disability, sexual disease transfered to one spouse becos their partner was unfaithful, death....The list goes on.

Nagging you can control. You can't control death or destiny.

Worst thing ever is a spouse sexually molesting one of the kids. Recently heard of a case in this Lagos where the husband molests his son and yet the supid mother has refused to take her child away from the danger. Seems in her deluded mind divorce is worse than her child getting molested by his own father. The most disturbing part is she took the child to a Doctor to sew up some cuts on his bum and yet even the Doctor didn't see it fit to report to the police or Social services. Wish I knew more details of the family so I can report the evil parents and have that boy rescued ,so yes unfortunately there are things way worse than the death of a spouse.

You guyz should welcome me am new here

D worst is unfaithfulnes, wen luv fizzles out & abuse. separation in distance is not a problem provided u hav d means & u re in Nig. Lag to Abj is a day's jorney. visit him everywekend or twice a month. it wil kep d tension low. spend 2 kep ur mariag

specialguest: The worst thing that can happen to a marriage is when you marry a NAGGING woman.. My neighbor is a typical example and i can almost swear that sometimes the man runs out of the house with his pants on his shoulder and his tie in his mouth to continue dressing up for work on the staircase because of a constantly nagging wife.

Seconded, its the worst thing I've ever seen in some marriages, a nagging wife coupled with an unbridled tongue, they do have the loudest voices even..

Woged2005: Pls get enof background info about som1 b4 marrying. Don't jump into marriage bc ur mates are married. Only patience can hold a marriage.

It depends on why your husband is not with you. I pray you are not a 'green card wife'. For example, I see many men abroad with just student visas and green cards coming home to marry and getting girls pregnant, and our girls being what they, are tumbling over another to marry a man abroad just to travel, without understanding the immigration rules for these countries. Now how in the whole world will the wife join her husband with a student visa? Spouses of green card holders take close to 5-6yrs b4 joining their spouses. There's no bribery in some developed countries. So no matter what pressure you put don't make any difference to Oyinbo.

Other things that can cause that are:

1.Security situation where ur hubby lives: don't tell me u wan to join a hubby working at Maidugiri at this time.. .
2.Accommodation: If the man is just patching in a 1 room, where will u stay with ur kids? some women will say "I've no prblm with that", but will be the 1st to raise hell for a bigger house after 6 months.
3.Demanding Job: If the man's job is such that he's always traveling out like truck drivers and salesmen, you'll still be lonely even if u join him
4.If he's only separated with an ex-wife and not yet legally divorced in a court, try moving in and regret it . Allow the process to finish first.

Patience is the key. You knew before you married him abi?

U said hw will d wife join d husband on a student visa? Pls madam, it is very possible. The wife would be giving a visa dat is also valid for d remaining number of yrs left for d hubby and u seem 2 have even left out d topic and stylishly attacked d op.

@op, d worst dat can happen in a marriage I think dis is d part where I have 2 say dat marrying d bones of ur bones and d flesh of ur flesh is very important (and dis is only possible thru fervent prayers b4 d marriage), so dat no matter d challenges dat comes up in d marriage, d couples would prayerfully scale thru.

OlowoB

Worst thing is having a baby

LoL! People are not reading the OP's concern in her post, rather jumping on to suggest worst thing that can happen to a marriage. Haba! Nairalanders!!!

Please read OP's post b4 posting your own. She needs advice on something not to hear all this you guys are posting here

giving birth to GAY and HERMAPHRODITE children can kill a marriage

if the man looses his manhood.
most importantly, I wud like to advice couples reading this to try as much as possible to avoid separation either by divorce or due to the nature of the job.
I have discovered that the devil orchestrates some separations in order to re-enact the incident in the garden of Eden. he targeted when Adam was not around to strike, having failed several times to convince him to eat the forbidden fruit, he finally got him thru the wife -whom he loved so much.
Carry your 'load' wherever you go.
the load na wealth ooo, as could be found in 'Wealth Inherited For Ever.(WIFE)
some ppl say na 'worries' sha, bur I no gree

Woged2005:



Please be aware that most free counselors on nairaland like me are either naive teenagers, never married before, or have broken homes. Be careful of Nairaland counselors. Talk to ur family rather

Classic

1. Losse Puszzy and puszzy not tasting the same no more or lack of new styles, wife laying in bed like a piece wood during intercourse.

2. Divorce.. Which actually isn't the worst but
Sad.

3. Death..

Divorce is the worse thing that can happen to marriage..

eluquenson: The worst that can happen in a marriage is Divorce

Simple answer and they are parambulating with different suggestion.

Divorce is the worst thing that can happen in a marriage, avoid anything that will lead to it. Shikenan

Woged2005:

Yep there're background info in naija: The way he treated his ex gfs warn us, his friends warn us, people from his villa warn us, his neigbours warn us, even his lifestyle when we're dating us warn too (they use money to woo us, they spread money & gifts on us like typical womanizers but we smile and collect, they slap other girls at parties, they yell at neighbor's children & complain about children, they hang out with questionable men & comeback late, all his Exs took in for him and aborted, they claim to be international biz men traveling abroad, their job title is veeeeeeery looooooong, he buys only cheap fairly used items, he has no good relationship with is parents and neigbors, etc). We naija ladies see all this signs and still go ahead bc we want to be married & answer Mrs. What other background information do we need, sisters?

back on ur case. try and keep urself usefully busy at Lagos. As long as u can visit him at Abuja (unannounced sometimes) and spend quality time with him, you'll be fine. Use BB, FB chat, texts, Skype to keep ur marriage warm. time will heal. but if u start trouble and threats now, why will a man invite trouble to Abuja to live with? .

Please be aware that most free counselors on nairaland like me are either naive teenagers, never married before, or have broken homes. Be careful of Nairaland counselors. Talk to ur family rather

While the quote in green may sound true, but your advice is matured and on point!!

OlowoB:

U said hw will d wife join d husband on a student visa? Pls madam, it is very possible. The wife would be giving a visa dat is also valid for d remaining number of yrs left for d hubby and u seem 2 have even left out d topic and stylishly attacked d op.

Yes, doesn't USA have a category too for work visa? How many Nigerians do u know have ever applied and got the work visa? Pls be real & talk from experience. The spouse of a student can join him/her on the student visa according to law, but how many Nigerians you know have ever joined their spouse on student visa? Misinformation like this is what's causing trouble for many. They're even rejecting fiance' visas now to spouses of US citizens in Nigeria. Do a little research pls.

Woged2005:

Yes, doesn't USA have a category too for work visa? How many Nigerians do u know have ever applied and got the work visa? Pls be real & talk from experience. The spouse of a student can join him/her on the student visa according to law, but how many Nigerians you know have ever joined their spouse on student visa? Misinformation like this is what's causing trouble for many. They're even rejecting fiance' visas now to spouses of US citizens in Nigeria. Do a little research pls.

I have quite a number of friends whose wives live with them on a student visa. It is really not that difficult.

I do not know anyone whose wife has been rejected and I should know. I will say a larger proportion are accepted. As long as the husband has a good source of funding and everything checks out, the visa will be issued.