Doctors of Nairaland, what's the most awkward experience you've had with a patient during a regular check?

Below are some awkward/funny experiences shared online.........

I remember this one patient.. She was in labour and I had to check her cervical dilation.. Now the way that's done is by doing a digital vaginal exam and estimating the gap with the index and middle fingers in a V shape. Most of the time this is pretty routine and TBH the patient is usually too distressed by the contractions to care.. This one last however seemed to respond to my examination in a totally unexpected way.. She went from "argh ouch" to "Ooh Mhmm".. Needless to say it took me all I had to keep a straight face..
TL;DR: Just call me Dr. Feelgood


While working in the ED, a very attractive female in her mid twenties came in her boyfriend complaining of abdominal pain. Part of the work up requires a pelvic exam and bimanual exam (girl in stirrups, 2 fingers in as deep as possible to feel the cervix). I offered to have a female perform the exam but she said it was ok if I did. A chaperone was present but her boyfriend demanded to watch as well. He stood across the foot of the bed from me and started me in the eyes with a scowl the entire time my hand was deep inside his girlfriend. Made for a very uncomfortable situation for all. After the exam he pulled me aside and told me he thought she was in pain because he "bleeped her harder than ever the night before". I have no idea why he felt the need to say that but I assume it was because he was trying to prove something


Obviously not a doctor, but a long time nurse in the urology departement. I´d like to apologize upfront, english is not my native language, so bear with me if I don´t get the correct terminology.(i´m german). So it´s the first christmas day, and I´m on duty in our small "emergency room". So far it has been the usual holiday stuff, young women with urinary tract infections, kidney stones, some infected catheters, nothing serious really. I get beeped by the main ER, and the admitting nurse tells me that there is a young man with an "urological problem" he doesn´t want to disclose any further to her. At this point I know: http://weknowgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/dis-gon-b-gud-chair-gif.gif
I go to the exam room and in waddles an awkward young man in his 30`s. I go through all the bureaucratic stuff, take his vitals and then ask him for an urine sample. He blushes and says he can´t. I´m getting curious and inquire on the nature of his problem. He blushes even more( He´s looking like a tomato at this moment) and drops his pants. Turns out he and his friend have been drinking the night before and had a bet who could put more rings on his penis. I´m not talking about cock rings but solid steel rings to hold napkins!
http://src.discounto.de/pics/Angebote/2011-12/187963/211504_WMF-Jette-Serviettenring-Set-2-teilig_xxl.jpg
He won the bet, and now had seven of those wedged around his penis, which had swollen beyond recognition. I got a little uncomfortable as it was looking really painful, called the doctor on duty and told her on the phone to brace herself for an unique experince. She arrives, and we get to work. First we drained his bladder, which was filled with more than 1 liter of urine, with a suprapubic catheter. Once this was done we tried to remove the rings..... we tried everything: we iced his penis to reduce the swelling, we tried lube, manual compression, nothing worked, the rings stayed in place. The doctor called the chief resident on duty, and he suggested to ask the dentist departement to help us. So we called the dentist, he first thought this was a prank, and went to his exam room with our patient on a stretcher.
The dentist managed to remove the rings by drilling through them under constant cooling of the patients penis, it took nearly 2 hours to accomplish. The patient fully recovered after a few days of antibiotics and cooling.
The rings are on display in a show case in a "staff only" area in our clinic, along with other things we have removed from patients bodies after "autoerotic accidents", we like to call them.
edit for grammar, sorry for weird apostrophes

[center] very interesting [/center]