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Nigerian Horror Story- A Short Film Script - TV/Movies (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Nigerian Horror Story- A Short Film Script by realteflon(m): 12:03am On Sep 25, 2013
Putting a phone call to Patience ozokwuo to play Madam Q
Re: Nigerian Horror Story- A Short Film Script by VillageBoi(m): 12:29am On Sep 25, 2013
Ikamenze:
Its a not perfect bro......there's nothing like a perfect script..

@villageboi..I'm shocked really,I was expecting some harsh criticisms from you...I thought you were gonna give him the same treatment you gave me when I made my first post......Have you gone soft or is shola a close friend of urs,u don't wanna hurt his feelings ryt? Lol......

I liked it a lot. And as you said above "There's nothing like a perfect script." Besides the main few things I mentioned to Sholay I had an issue with have been changed in the edit. The only thing is how plausibly Mary not knowing his mother is written and a couple of niggles when delving into the 'backstory'. But it is what it is and I still think it's pretty good.
Re: Nigerian Horror Story- A Short Film Script by importexpert(m): 12:40am On Sep 25, 2013
Nice thread brother. You have written well. Keep it up
Re: Nigerian Horror Story- A Short Film Script by aprokomania(m): 2:03am On Sep 25, 2013
[color=#990000][/color] white rice and fried stew with
glasses of juice to wash it down.
.
.
.
.
.nice story but i feel the above is too nollywood. all they ever eat and drink is rice and juice. pisses me off personally.

1 Like

Re: Nigerian Horror Story- A Short Film Script by sholay2011(m): 2:52am On Sep 25, 2013
aprokomania: [color=#990000][/color] white rice and fried stew with
glasses of juice to wash it down.
.
.
.
.
.nice story but i feel the above is too nollywood. all they ever eat and drink is rice and juice. pisses me off personally.
Lolz. This is the funniest comment I've read on this thread. Thanks. In case of next tym, dem go chop akpu. grin grin grin tnx very much.

1 Like

Re: Nigerian Horror Story- A Short Film Script by sholay2011(m): 2:53am On Sep 25, 2013
importexpert: Nice thread brother. You have written well. Keep it up
Tnx very much bro. Love your words of encouragement.
Re: Nigerian Horror Story- A Short Film Script by sholay2011(m): 2:54am On Sep 25, 2013
real-teflon:
Putting a phone call to Patience ozokwuo to play Madam Q
grin grin grin grin Yes oooo. That woman must accept the script oo. cheesy
Re: Nigerian Horror Story- A Short Film Script by sholay2011(m): 3:06am On Sep 25, 2013
Ikamenze:

Its a not perfect bro......there's nothing like a perfect script..

This is my observation.
- You made use of too many Parentheses..
- You need to work on your DIALOGUE..it has to at least sound realistic..try reading it out loud next tym..
-You didn't exactly stick to the “show,don't tell” rule in your narration...and there was too many unnecessary info in it like....(They are eating white rice and stew with juice to wash it down// Mary is wearing Ankara)...

I know you were trying to paint a vivid picture but the way I see it,and this applies to all writers in d house, No matter how hard you try to be vivid or should I say precise with your descriptions,at the end of the day,its really up to the READER'S IMAGINATION...when a character is introduced,let's say MARY for instance,you can say she's tall and fair in complexion with curly hair but in d reader's head,he or she may have already pictured Mary to be short and dark and dats how he's going to see Mary till the end...the question you should ask yourself is,does Mary's height and complexion really do anything for the story? Does it add or remove anything to the storyline? If it doesn't,then why add it? D way I see it,If it doesn't have any direct impact to d story,then it shouldn't be there
I took tym to explain this part cos a lot of writers get so caught up in d minor details dat they forget the important stuff..

But all the same,nice effort...keep writing,keep studying,that's the only way you can get better...I've bn writing screenplays for 3yrs and I'm no where near perfect....we are all leaning..

I would like to commend the mods....this is the second screenplay dat has made it to front page in less than a week..pls keep it up...hopefully wen I post mine 2morow,it will make front page too..lol....

@villageboi..I'm shocked really,I was expecting some harsh criticisms from you...I thought you were gonna give him the same treatment you gave me when I made my first post......Have you gone soft or is shola a close friend of urs,u don't wanna hurt his feelings ryt? Lol......
Bro, God will bless you and may you succeed in life endeavours. I appreciate your post. Well, you've spoken well as a fellow scriptwriter.

My own perspective is, try to be as detailed as possible, so far you won't piss the director off. It may nt be necessary in a short, but for a feature, it may even helpin casting. Those described physical features makes the character feel specific, not just ambiguous.

With the parentheses, Prof also indicated that and I have reduced it to the ones that I feel are necessary. So, I don't still get why they are a problem.

Tnx for that dialogue tip but that's what I do. Maybe it just didn't sound realistic to you. It happens...art is subjective. And the location of the setting wasn't related, but we re sure it's the "toosh" part of "Nigeria". Or maybe the dialogue didn't go the way you would have written it. Lol.

Villageboi na correct critic oo and pls, dnt take any feather from his cap. He is quite blunt and in his opinion, would find loopholes in a script and correct it. What you think is a loophole, may not be one to him. Or he may have his cogent reasons but Villageboi is one of the ppl that know their onions and can as well tell you the truth. In short, he has never spared me. grin grin

I believed I stuck to the 'show' not 'tell' thing. But I may not have written it the way you expected. EVERYTHING IN THE SCRIPT CAN BE SEEN ON SCREEN IF SHOT AS A FILM. That's what is called "showing". Like where I said Mary dialed a number. If I had said "she dialed her husband's no", that's "telling" 'cos hw do we automatically know it's her husband she dialed while watching it on screen except there is a close camera shot? I tried as much as possible to write things that would be seen by a viewer, not just read by a reader. I'm not trying to say I am perfect...infact, far from it. But kindly point out areas in the script where it was "telling"...not "showing"...maybe it's you that have the wrong idea of what "showing" entails.
Tnx for ur comment all the same. I look forward to seeing your short. wink
Re: Nigerian Horror Story- A Short Film Script by sholay2011(m): 3:08am On Sep 25, 2013
atlbj: Fantastic write up! Keep at it Sholay2011, i see a bright future for Nollywood with you as the most sought after script writer. smiley
Lol. Thanks ooo. I appreciate smiley. Me too just dey learn ni oo. wink
Re: Nigerian Horror Story- A Short Film Script by sholay2011(m): 3:09am On Sep 25, 2013
C'est moi:
I was just playing and imagining it in my head while i was reading it.Nice one!
Tnx very much dear. I appreciate.
Re: Nigerian Horror Story- A Short Film Script by sholay2011(m): 3:10am On Sep 25, 2013
Babzilla: WHY DONT U MAKE MADAM Q TURN INTO A DRAGON OR SOMETHING HORRIBLE THEN EAT UP EVERYONE IN THE HOUSE THEN BURNS DOWN THE HOUSE WITH HER BREATH B4 FLYING OFF SCREECHING
Lolz...

Pls, are you being sarcastic or you're really suggesting that? cheesy

You must reply me ooo. grin
Re: Nigerian Horror Story- A Short Film Script by Nobody: 4:45am On Sep 25, 2013
sholay2011:
Lolz...

Pls, are you being sarcastic or you're really suggesting that? cheesy

You must reply me ooo. grin

*SHRUGS
NAH IM SUGGESTIG IT
U DONT NEED TO TAKE IT
JUST GIVING U A FEW ANGLES DATS ALL
Re: Nigerian Horror Story- A Short Film Script by sholay2011(m): 4:48am On Sep 25, 2013
Babzilla:

*SHRUGS
NAH IM SUGGESTIG IT
U DONT NEED TO TAKE IT
JUST GIVING U A FEW ANGLES DATS ALL
Hmmm. Tnx very much. I appreciate your suggestion. smiley
Re: Nigerian Horror Story- A Short Film Script by Youngpo413: 6:54am On Sep 25, 2013
Chei see film!
Nice one,keep it up.
Re: Nigerian Horror Story- A Short Film Script by sholay2011(m): 6:57am On Sep 25, 2013
Young po413: Chei see film!
Nice one,keep it up.
Tnx very much. I appreciate. smiley
Re: Nigerian Horror Story- A Short Film Script by Nobody: 7:31am On Sep 25, 2013
sholay2011:
Tnx very much. I appreciate. smiley

You are welcome. undecided
Re: Nigerian Horror Story- A Short Film Script by Nobody: 7:36am On Sep 25, 2013
Whether na telling or na showing, I enjoyed every scene. Great piece! Props to you!

2 Likes

Re: Nigerian Horror Story- A Short Film Script by sholay2011(m): 8:02am On Sep 25, 2013
hopeyemmy: Whether na telling or na showing, I enjoyed every scene. Great piece! Props to you!
Lolz. I appreciate you, bro. O se joor. cool
Re: Nigerian Horror Story- A Short Film Script by chromatic: 8:08am On Sep 25, 2013
Nice one! BTW I think the dialogue is cool, nothing wrong in anyway..especially the part Jaye and the Madam Q, had me in that scene pretty well, the way he expressed his shock when Madam Q dropped her bomb, I like it.
Re: Nigerian Horror Story- A Short Film Script by Ajibanban: 8:35am On Sep 25, 2013
Billions can be fooled, but I wont be. Simple Biology states and proves that Egg and Sperm MUST fuse to form an embryo, and fetus - the precursors of babies.

It baffles me, that billions of people, both Christians, and non-Christians, believe that Holy Spirit had sperm, had sex with Mary and fathered Jesus.

Something is definitely wrong with many humans, but not Billyonaire.

I refuse to believe this, and I conclude that the Virgin Birth of Jesus - is the Most Acceptable Lie, most unquestionable Lie.

(Quote) (Report)
Re: Nigerian Horror Story- A Short Film Script by sholay2011(m): 8:47am On Sep 25, 2013
chromatic: Nice one! BTW I think the dialogue is cool, nothing wrong in anyway..especially the part Jaye and the Madam Q, had me in that scene pretty well, the way he expressed his shock when Madam Q dropped her bomb, I like it.
Thanks bro. I'm glad you like it. smiley
Re: Nigerian Horror Story- A Short Film Script by HAPPENINGS9JA: 10:21am On Sep 25, 2013
Riveting piece! Really nice read. Had mh eyeballs almost pop outta my head when I read the husband was behind it all.

Want to make a proposal (not marriage o) to you. Kindly avail me of your email address. You can send it to contact@happenings 9ja.com

I hope to get your response.
Re: Nigerian Horror Story- A Short Film Script by sholay2011(m): 10:24am On Sep 25, 2013
HAPPENINGS9JA: Riveting piece! Really nice read. Had mh eyeballs almost pop outta my head when I read the husband was behind it all.

Want to make a proposal (not marriage o) to you. Kindly avail me of your email address. You can send it to contact@happenings 9ja.com

I hope to get your response.
grin grin grin grin @ the bolded part of ya post.

Tnx very much bro. My email is simply: oladesuolusola@yahoo.com. I appreciate your comment.
Re: Nigerian Horror Story- A Short Film Script by Nemidav(m): 10:27am On Sep 25, 2013
@Sholay,nice write up bro! Tss sooo cool....re yuu on whtsapp? Bbm? I fink wee need to talk.thanks
Re: Nigerian Horror Story- A Short Film Script by Bkrubzy(m): 10:49am On Sep 25, 2013
Cn we nw gt bak 2 da story 4 cryin' out loud?!
Re: Nigerian Horror Story- A Short Film Script by tobikush1(m): 11:03am On Sep 25, 2013
this is a nice piece shollay...mankind needs people like you...nice story indeed and i love it.
Re: Nigerian Horror Story- A Short Film Script by sholay2011(m): 11:26am On Sep 25, 2013
tobi kush: this is a nice piece shollay...mankind needs people like you...nice story indeed and i love it.
Thanks very much bro. I appreciate your comment.
Re: Nigerian Horror Story- A Short Film Script by sholay2011(m): 11:33am On Sep 25, 2013
Nemidav: @Sholay,nice write up bro! Tss sooo cool....re yuu on whtsapp? Bbm? I fink wee need to talk.thanks
I appreciate your feedback bro. Not on bbm. Here's my email address: oladesuolusola@yahoo.com.
Re: Nigerian Horror Story- A Short Film Script by Nobody: 1:17pm On Sep 25, 2013
sholay2011:
Hmmm. Tnx very much. I appreciate your suggestion. smiley
THATS THE BEAUTY OF STORYTELLING IT CAM SWING ANY WHICH WAY.
SPICE IT UP WITH PLENTY SUSPENSE. THEN GET A VERY GOOD DIRECTOR TO
TOP IT UP WITH LOTS OF BLOOD AND GORE. STUFF THAY
THATS BOUND TO MAKE PEOPLE LOSE SLEEP AND THEIR APPETITE.
Y'FEEL ME? UNFORTUNATELY I DONT HAVE TIME I WOULDA DONE SOME EDITS ON THIS

1 Like

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