Sorry to say that a quick jump to conclusion based on personal religious believes can mislead other people. A little research can make sense sometimes.

Here are my findings about divorce, dating and marrying a divorced person.

1. It is Not A Sin To Date & Marry A Divorced Person
For Christians even though Jesus, and St. Paul in the bible advised that a man should not divorce his wife (which is right), they never called divorce a 'Sin' (do your research please). Not everything that is 'wrong' is a 'sin' (eg calling someone 'fat' is wrong but not a sin). A sin is breaking of one of the commandments of God, and usually committed against God. 'Sin' is different from 'offense'. Offense is against a man-made law. Adultery is what is a 'sin', not divorce, according to the bible. Dating a divorced person is not adultery because she/he's no longer married before God and Law. There's a big difference between telling someone not to smoke because it's not good to health, and saying 'smoking' is a sin (against God). In the Bible, God de-commissioned Queen Vashti, and replaced her with Queen Esther (a teenager), after the former queen became a 'joke', and God sanctioned it. Please preach the 'Word of God', not your personal opinion.

2. 'Divorce' and 'Separation' Are Different:
Divorce means the marriage is over before God and man. Both people are legally & spiritually single again (all ties and bonds are broken). Even Bible allowed divorce if there is a 'proven' marital unfaithfulness. Koran has its rules for divorce too. Remember 'Marital unfaithfulness' can be both physical (intimate relationship outside marriage) or emotional unfaithfulness (non-intimate relationship outside marriage including one being more loyal to his/her pastor, friend, or boss than her spouse) . If a person says he/she is divorced, before jumping into relationship please see the official divorce certificate to avoid adultery. Remember if it's only a separation, the estranged spouse can always come back.

3. Church Can Annul or Dissolve A Marriage:
Most recently, some organized churches like the Catholic church have legal power to 'dissolve' or 'Annul' a marriage (treating the marriage like it never happened) depending on the circumstances between the couple and only if the church had tried all avenues and failed to reconcile to matter. A good example is, where both parties are AS genotypes and giving birth to 'SS' offspring, or one party contracted HIV, etc.

4.A Woman Can Divorce Her Husband In The Court:
In modern times a woman can divorce a man too, it's not always a man that divorces a woman. In fact, in most cases it's a woman that files divorce for her safety.

5. Major Cause Of Divorce Today:
In some cases, where there's divorce, if you trace back to how they started, the marriage was never meant to be in the first place. Somebody lied or manipulated his/ her way into the marriage for some selfish gains (money, fame, sex, power, traveling abroad, greencard, societal pressure, etc) and took what didn't belong to him/ her. If there's love, and the marriage was commissioned by God, there would never have been a divorce in the first place (No Offense to anyone).

6. Divorced People Are Not Bad People.
Divorce simply means two people are both different and couldn't live together because of deep irreconcilable differences. They may say things to demonize each other to win the case in court. Sometimes that's purely to get sympathy and win the case. Never judge from the media circus and one side's story. Usually, it's deeper than what we hear, and both parties played a role in breaking down their marriage.

7. It's Legal To Either Date or Marry A Divorced Person.:
Yes you can comfortably date or marry a divorced person (man or woman) and still enjoy peace, love and a very successful relationship. Mary was divorced because of adultery, yet Jesus forgave her and kept her as a close friend/follower. It all depends on one's attitude. If one's attitude sucks, it sucks even if one marries a single Prince or Princess, he/she will still turn people off.

8.There's No Ex In The Picture In Any Divorce Granted In A Court -That's A Myth:
Once a court grants a divorce, there's no Ex- to deal with. He/she is no longer in the picture, and can never come back except through another marriage. Therefore, there's no such thing as the "Ex coming back". A court shares everything and each party walks away with his/her share of assets and liability. It's permanently over, so think well before you jump in the divorce queue.

9.Not All Divorces Are Bitter
People can be divorced and remain friends. In fact, it is advised they remain friends especially if they have kids to raise. Not all divorces are bitter with a fight. Sometime two people can decide they need to let go of childish selfish passion.

10. Dating or Marrying A Divorced Person Who Have Kids:
You cannot love a divorced person who have kids without loving his/her kids. If you wanna date or marry a divorced person make sure you have good relationship with his/her kids too. Remember Kids can never be divorced from their parents! You are there, but they were there before you. You must co-exist & treat them with respect as 'house-owners' too. They are not your tenants

Divorce is not a 'sin', Adultery is. It's not a sin to date or marry a legally divorced person, as long as your conscience is clear you didn't cause the divorce. However, a separated person is still married until a divorce is finalized in court. So be careful and get the facts. Cheers!

Nicely written but what's the campaign for? Are you stigmatized?

Op are you a divorcee

basisop: Nicely written but what's the campaign for? Are you stigmatized?

It's okay to share knowledge, that's why people invest on education, reading what others wrote. Professors who engage in life-saving researches don't do so because they have problems. I compiled this as part of digging in to get more facts on various misinformation some people (especially in Nigeria) peddle on Nairaland on various issues based on their limited knowledge & personal believes often using wrong religious inferences. Unless you agree that "Witches cause power failures in Nigeria" so rather than invest in infrastructure we should train more "prayer warriors' to solve Nigeria's problems. Misinformation! I loved well-researched assumptions based on facts.

basisop: Nicely written but what's the campaign for? Are you stigmatized?

does she have to be stigmatized b4 enlightening people about this? Don't you know there are people to whom this piece wil be a life saver?. Next time think broadly before responding.
@ OP, nice write up and also timely as we have a lot of divorcees around these days.

@Op, very well written and I personally like the approach.

Weldone but then, most divorced couples are bitter and I think its as a result of experience and frustration from last union.

In my own opinion, I would rather couples stay together as one in love. I still want to be like my parents that have been married for more than a whooping 52years!!!!!!!!!
. That should be a model for all couples.

Problematic marriage, physical, emotional, spiritual and all sorts of abuses involved, Ofcourse, they have to go their separate ways when water don dey pass garri oo.

basisop: Nicely written but what's the campaign for? Are you stigmatized?

This should have nothing to do with stigmatization. Knowledge is power so, open your mind and learn.

salemdv: Op are you a divorcee

No sir. I'm still a single student, in a respectful, loving relationship. However, divorcees are not criminals are they? Otherwise no jail can contain 50% (1 in every 2) of married people in USA who have gone that route. I just don't want another person's prejudice to becloud my own judgement...a lot of that from our beloved countrymen/women..too judgmental!

micklplus: @Op, very well written and I personally like the approach.

Weldone but then, most divorced couples are bitter and I think its as a result of experience and frustration from last union.

In my own opinion, I would rather couples stay together as one in love. I still want to be like my parents that have been married for more than a whooping 52years!!!!!!!!!
. That should be a model for all couples.

Problematic marriage, physical, emotional, spiritual and all sorts of abuses involved, Ofcourse, they have to go their separate ways when water don dey pass garri oo.

guy I envy ur parents o. They would have celeberated golden jubilee and stil together and alive. Am just 5yrs into d into d institution and hope to stay in it longer than ur parents. They are truly a role model. Learn frm them o. Cheers. I tink it's time to celeberate good tins around,the time has come cos good men have kept quiet for long.

Op, in as much as you speak from a biblical perspective, me think its okay to share this.

1. It is Not A Sin To Date &
Marry A Divorced Person For Christians even though
Jesus, and St. Paul in the bible
advised that a man should
not divorce his wife (which is
right), they never called
divorce a 'Sin' (do your research please). Not
everything that is 'wrong' is
a 'sin' (eg calling someone
'fat' is wrong but not a sin).
A sin is breaking of one of
the commandments of God, and usually committed
against God. 'Sin' is different
from 'offense'. Offense is
against a man-made law.
Adultery is what is a 'sin', not
divorce, according to the bible. Dating a divorced
person is not adultery
because she/he's no longer
married before God and Law.

Good opinion. Let the bible do the talking.

To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord)
: A wife must not separate
from her husband. 1 cor 7:10
But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his
wife, saving for the cause of
fornication, causeth her to
commit adultery: and
whosoever shall marry her
that is divorced committeth adultery. Matt 5:32
And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his
wife, and marry another,
committeth adultery against
her.
And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be
married to another, she
committeth adultery
Mark 10:11-12
Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth
another, committeth adultery:
and whosoever marrieth her
that is put away from her
husband committeth adultery.
Luke 16:8

In the Bible, God de-
commissioned Queen Vashti,
and replaced her with Queen Esther (a teenager), after the
former queen became a
'joke', and God sanctioned it.
Please preach the 'Word of
God', not your personal
opinion.

This is now your own personal opinion. Guess i post a verse here.
You talked about Vashti being divorced. I wonder where you read that from. Here is the verse i guess you are trying to use.

“Therefore, if it pleases the king, let him issue a royal
decree and let it be written in
the laws of Persia and Media,
which cannot be repealed,
that Vashti is never again to
enter the presence of King Xerxes. Also let the king give
her royal position to someone
else who is better than she. Esther 1:19

This does not mean that she was divorced. It simply means she was put away. She would not hold the position of being the "queen" but she was still his wife. Divorce was not mentioned there.
What was done was a usual practice of kings in those days.
King David also did it.

And David came to his house at Jerusalem; and the king
took the ten women his
concubines, whom he had left
to keep the house, and put
them in ward, and fed them,
but went not in unto them. So they were shut up unto the
day of their death, living in
widowhood. 2 Samuel 20:3

That is it please. My post is filled with abundant biblical evidence that debunks your first post.
It's well.

idnoble135: Op, in as much as you speak from a biblical perspective, me think its okay to share this.

Good opinion. Let the bible do the talking.

To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord)
: A wife must not separate
from her husband. 1 cor 7:10
But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his
wife, saving for the cause of
fornication, causeth her to
commit adultery: and
whosoever shall marry her
that is divorced committeth adultery. Matt 5:32
And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his
wife, and marry another,
committeth adultery against
her.
And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be
married to another, she
committeth adultery
Mark 10:11-12
Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth
another, committeth adultery:
and whosoever marrieth her
that is put away from her
husband committeth adultery.
Luke 16:8

I don't want to get into a religious argument here, which will soon result in name-calling, or my-church-is-better-than-yours-agrument, which nobody wins. But Christian clergies are discouraged from going into pastoral work with only a Bible course (quick cut) rather than take full Theological degree, which takes time.

Go back to your theology and recall that King Henry VIII broke away with the Catholic Church, to start the Anglican Church, because the pope in Rome would not grant him a 'divorce' with his wife, Catherine of Aragon, because divorce was against church policy then...in that history some interchanged the words 'Divorce', 'Annul', 'Dissolve', 'Separate', etc...all these words as we know today from legal interpretations mean different things but were all used interchangeably in the quotation u used depending on who wrote the version...this is only important to understand the role ' bible Versions' played in the misinterpretation of the bible today.

The bottom line is 'Put Away' could mean 'divorce', or 'separation' . I mentioned already that a separated person is still married. If you marry him/her you commit adultery, which is a sin; you also cause her to sin. Various Bible versions used 'divorce' and 'separation' almost to mean the same thing (putting a wife away). If people were ready to do some work rather than cut and paste unrelated verses, they would have known that the 'Law of Moses',, which was the reference point during the time of Jesus was very clear on Divorce process. Even Islam buttressed that. My point is Separation is not same thing as Divorce , however both words are used interchangeably in some versions of the Bible to mean "putting away his wife..".. A 'Sin' means breaking one of the ten commandments. Nobody adds or removes from it. Adultery is one of the 10 commandment, Divorce is not.

^
lol, dont worry. We wont get into a religious debate.
But is it not funny that you reply without scriptures, but still want to speak from a biblical view?
My post is self explanatory. Whether divorce is right or wrong, whether marrying a divorcee is right or wrong..... The words of Jesus settled it.
I did not state anything per se. The scriptures did that. Organizations might try to make it suit them, so might churches.
But that up there, is what God stated.

idnoble135: This is now your own personal opinion. Guess i post a verse here.
You talked about Vashti being divorced. I wonder where you read that from. Here is the verse i guess you are trying to use.

“Therefore, if it pleases the king, let him issue a royal decree and let it be written in the laws of Persia and Media, which cannot be repealed,
that Vashti is never again to enter the presence of King Xerxes. Also let the king give her royal position to someone else who is better than she. Esther 1:19

This does not mean that she was divorced. It simply means she was put away. She would not hold the position of being the "queen" but she was still his wife. Divorce was not mentioned there. What was done was a usual practice of kings in those days. King David also did it.

And David came to his house at Jerusalem; and the king took the ten women his concubines, whom he had left to keep the house, and put
them in ward, and fed them, but went not in unto them. So they were shut up unto the day of their death, living in widowhood. 2 Samuel 20:3

That is it please. My post is filled with abundant biblical evidence that debunks your first post.
It's well.

I have no idea what your interpretation above was. The two verse are very unrelated to each other and happened generations apart. The first part you quoted was a clear reference to divorce in a 'royal Decree' [/b]also called[b] 'judgment'. Divorce is granted by a constituted authority through a judgement. Please do not imply that God encouraged King Xerxes to live in Adultery. king Xerxes' marriage to Esther was God's will. Bible never accounted that the 2 women took turns to sleep with the King, as was the case in several references in the bible, where the man had multiple wives.

idnoble135: ^
lol, dont worry. We wont get into a religious debate. But is it not funny that you reply without scriptures, but still want to speak from a biblical view? My post is self explanatory. Whether divorce is right or wrong, whether marrying a divorcee is right or wrong..... The words of Jesus settled it. I did not state anything per se. The scriptures did that. Organizations might try to make it suit them, so might churches. But that up there, is what God stated.

Thanks, I respect people like you who take time to hear another person's view. Thanks for That. Yes I seldom use bible quotations on fora like this as a mark of respect to our colleagues who belong to other religions, and in order not to discourage them from benefiting from the knowledge. It's not for any other reason. Thanks for pointing out.

Seems you want us to go biblical. Alright then.
Women were not divorced by decrees in those days. They were divorced through a written document called "bill of divorce" They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give
a writing of divorcement, and
to put her away? matthew 19:7
No body was divorced through a decree. The decree in question was that she was to be put away, never to see the king so as to serve as a warning for woment to be submissive to her husband. That did not mean he divorced her.

Woged2005:

Thanks, I respect people like you who take time to hear another person's view. Thanks for That. Yes I seldom use bible quotations on fora like this as a mark of respect to our colleagues who belong to other religions, and in order not to discourage them from benefiting from the knowledge. It's not for any other reason. Thanks for pointing out.

You are welcome. But nevertheless, a great article you did put up there. Hope to read more of your works in future.

idnoble135: Seems you want us to go biblical. Alright then.
Women were not divorced by decrees in those days. They were divorced through a written document called "bill of divorce" They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? matthew 19:7
No body was divorced through a decree. The decree in question was that she was to be put away, never to see the king so as to serve as a warning for woment to be submissive to her husband. That did not mean he divorced her.

Ok. Thanks for pointing that out. It is also good to point out that Adultery means[b] 'Voluntary se.xual intercourse between a married person and a partner other than the lawful spouse'[/b]. That implies that if a person is married to Seven lawful partners (though it's not right in some cultures) it's important to point out that he/she is not committing Adultery. The catch word there is 'Lawful partner', which in modern times means a formal marriage either in court, church, or traditional rites, depending on what his/her culture or constitution permits.

The biblical concept of divorce differs. When you read mathew 19, you'd understand that marriage can not be dissolved. It might be before men but not before God. Howbeit, we are made to understand that marriage can be dissolved on one condition and it will be acknowledged by God, if only one of the partners was found in adultery.
But the human laws permit it. So divorce is not illegal going by laws governing a country.

idnoble135: The biblical concept of divorce differs. When you read mathew 19, you'd understand that marriage can not be dissolved. It might be before men but not before God. Howbeit, we are made to understand that marriage can be dissolved on one condition and it will be acknowledged by God, if only one of the partners was found in adultery. But the human laws permit it. So divorce is not illegal going by laws governing a country.

Yes, you are absolutely right. As Christians we should not divorce because the bible frowned at it. That's why the Bible made divorce a bit difficult to divorce (just on one condition - Adultery). However, the bottom-line of my write-up is that if by chance, A Christian manages to secure a legal divorce, marrying or dating him/her is not a sin, because divorce itself is not a sin. It's not Adultery, which we have clarified above.

As Christians we should not divorce also means we should marry for the right reasons. Bible didn't know that years later people will be marrying for money, sex, fame, power, greencard, traveling abroad, etc necessitating divorce.. . This topic is theologically deep just as the issue of a christian soldier who fights in a war and kills people, did he commit sin since Bible said "thou shall not kill"...

Woged2005:

Yes, you are absolutely right. As Christians we should not divorce because the bible frowned at it. That's why the Bible made divorce a bit difficult to divorce (just on one condition - Adultery). However, the bottom-line of my write-up is that if by chance, A Christian manages to secure a legal divorce, marrying or dating him/her is not a sin, because divorce itself is not a sin. It's not Adultery, which we have clarified above.

As Christians we should not divorce also means we should marry for the right reasons. Bible didn't know that years later people will be marrying for money, sex, fame, power, greencard, traveling abroad, etc necessitating divorce.. . This topic is theologically deep just as the issue of a christian soldier who fights in a war and kills people, did he commit sin since Bible said "thou shall not kill"...

Did we? I thought we just decided to let it be having posted our opinions?

Nice arguments idnoble & Woged, but please let others see this thread from their own point of view.

Taking it the religious way is already limiting the viewers.

Hope you two would move on as you have both made your points!

Thanks

Royal Roy: Nice arguments idnoble & Woged, but please let others see this thread from their own point of view.

Taking it the religious way is already limiting the viewers.

Hope you two would move on as you have both made your points!

Thanks

...thanks. I rest my case and leave others to read through.

The Catholic Church has always allowed for annulments; it's not a recent development.

Woged2005:

...thanks. I rest my case and leave others to read through.

seconded.

Woged2005:
5. Major Cause Of Divorce Today:
In some cases, where there's divorce, if you trace back to how they started, the marriage was never meant to be in the first place. Somebody lied or manipulated his/ her way into the marriage for some selfish gains (money, fame, sex, power, traveling abroad, greencard, societal pressure, etc) and took what didn't belong to him/ her. If there's love, and the marriage was commissioned by God, there would never have been a divorce in the first place (No Offense to anyone).

Very nice informative piece..On point!!, one major reason I don't meddle in marital disputes. Each party will demonize the other. None is willing to accept his/her mistakes. Yet 50% of the time the fight is about kudi, owo, ego... (money)...another 30% is usually s.ex gone baaaaaad!! . somebody (usually oga) is snoring off at bed time... or madam started taking Victoria Secret's thinz for granted..

Wish I read this piece a couple of years ago when I just let a pretty damsel who was divorced go because of what people would say...ignorance! Searching my box vigorously now and lettings things fly..looking for her pictures and contact..I gara call her..

bigheart2013: Wish I read this piece a couple of years ago when I just let a pretty damsel who was divorced go because of what people would say...ignorance! Searching my box vigorously now and lettings things fly..looking for her pictures and contact..I gara call her..

, I didn't mean to start anything. Just sharing knowledge o!!

idnoble135: The biblical concept of divorce differs. When you read mathew 19, you'd understand that marriage can not be dissolved. It might be before men but not before God. Howbeit, we are made to understand that marriage can be dissolved on one condition and it will be acknowledged by God, if only one of the partners was found in adultery.
But the human laws permit it. So divorce is not illegal going by laws governing a country.

Good to know that you brought light and truth to the entire issue. I was beginning to be afraid (scrolling down the thread) that this discussion will enter page 2 without any meaningful clarification from the biblical viewpoint (since the OP made reference to several biblical instances). Whether you call it "put away" or "divorce", God hates it.

Malachi 2:16

Acelifted:

Whether you call it "put away" or "divorce", God hates it. Malachi 2:16

You are right, God hates it! a good church should hate it, I hate it too, many people who got divorced hated the situation too.

But for references, as bad as it is that does not make it a Sin that will take one to hell fire. A sin is breaking one of the ten commandments. Divorce is not one of it. we cannot add or remove from the ten commandments..otherwise I'd like to add many things in there like racism and corruption . That's my point

Divorce? This topic is very crucial at this point in time when marriages have become something else. The singles are afraid of jumping into it while some married ones are waiting to be set from it. There is a need for all institutions(social, government, religion etc) to look into it critically for future reasons.
IMO, I hate divorce because of its consequences on the children. Though I can't help so many times to avert it..
This is a call to many singles out there to please check their motives before going into marriage (though some people came out of the trauma easily while some.............).. Nice topic!!!!!!

Woged2005:

You are right, God hates it! a good church should hate it, I hate it too, many people who got divorced hated the situation too.

But for references, as bad as it is that does not make it a Sin that will take one to hell fire. A sin is breaking one of the ten commandments. Divorce is not one of it. we cannot add or remove from the ten commandments..otherwise I'd like to add many things in there like racism and corruption . That's my point

Woged2005- the fact that God hates it makes it bad enough to qualify as sin. The truth is that God does not send people to hell at the slightest snap of the finger. Heaven is a gift to mankind. So it is not a card he flashes from time to time. Though if you take His grace for granted, you could loose that. But God permitted it in the old testament because of the rigidness of the their heart. God's cannot afford to entertain this form of compromise in this dispensation because the stakes are too high. More so, grace now much more abound to be able to bear up the challenges of living with the weaknesses of one another and overcoming the pressure of fleshly desires.

Therefore, that God permitted then does not mean it is not a sin. He hates it! If He hated then, He still does now. And we have less excuse because of grace that now abounds. The way to access this grace by humility and honesty of heart.