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Messed Up Situation With A Wrong Woman by zoeseeker: 5:46pm On Oct 03, 2013
Hello house

Please I need mature and sincere comments on the issue I am sharing here, I am a nairalander but opened this account just to pour out my mind


There is this lady I met sometimes around 2008 (though we went to same Uni but weren't close then), she was a corper in the state I was working then and we had a fling after a while she left back to lag and the friendship grew afterwards.She had a boyfriend then with whom she claims things were not rossy(according to her, the guy was a chronic cheat), infact she was always dumping her relationship issues on me and maybe that led to the bond growing, over time she broke up with the guy and things started moving from friendship to dating between us...We dated for like 6 months (september 2009 - April 2010)until one night my intuition told me something is wrong and alas she was cheating with this ex(Noteworthy is that the ex stays directly under a parent's flat). After many digging she admitted to spending the night in the Ex's flat that night while her own parents and entire family were out for a religious function.

All along she gave the impression it was a one-off mistake, I broke up with her then but we still kept in touch, later that year I got transfered to lagos and like-play like play things got back, she told me she dated one other guy(who happened to b our school mate and a distant friend of mine) after we broke up and obviously the guy used and dumped her after like a month and she went back to this her so called ex...She felt sober and all and I felt she has really learnt her lesson so things kicked up btw us again (December 2010).


After like a month she travelled out for her Masters and we were still doing the distance thing, even though I know deep down she wont be sincere but she never talked about any misbehavior nor admitted whenever I seek to know. Towards the end of her programme she was contemplating staying back in a fraudulent manner and I made it clear I wont be in if she wants dat.After so much rationalizing we broke up around April 2012, All the time she was sober and always sending downcasting messages,after few months she told me she has dropped the idea and she's coming back home to which I told her if she makes good her promise then we might still have a chance. She came back october 2012 and we saw for few days before I also left the country on an official course that lasted me close to 3 months...

Like 6 weeks into my stay(Around december 2012) she called me to tell me she has something to say, she told me her ex (neighbor ex) called her that morning to come and see something in his flat which is as a result of the activity in her own parent's flat, more like damages to his apartment due to dere actions but after showing her he started talking bout old stuff and before a while he kissed her. I asked her if that was all and she said that's it after so much pressure she admitted to the guy fingering her for a while b4 she pushed him off and told him to open the door or she screams...
She admitted to responding to his touches until she got back her senses.

I was mad for a while but decided to dettach my emotions and focus on my training, when I returned we were talking one day and she slipped about how this same ex took her somewhere for an abortion when they were still dating(although she once told me willingly that she aborted for this guy but the account is contradictory she told me it was her friends that took her there and it was in another town )...This really triggered my senses that the woman I'm dealing with is a real lying LovePeddler who knows what she's doing, so I decided to ask questions about all she's ever told me, I involved one pastor she once introduced to me who admonished her to come clean.

She confirmed that the first cheating wasn't a one-off and they have bn involved for months b4 I got to know, she admitted to sleeping with a classmate of hers while abroad(This classmate served in the organization I worked then and obviously knows me which she even admitted to way back then), she slept with a married man while abroad,she once had a relationship with an elderly man in the organization she served(this elderly man was once her father's boss), there was a guy that visited her when she was serving, I asked her severally if the guy slept with her and she always says NO, she admitted to sleeping with the guy and to worsen it she once discussed the experience with him even when we were dating

Sometimes in February 2013,as an IT professional I was able to get into her details and read conversations she had with her neighbor ex while away, there was no place she strongly pushed off the guy and there was a part she told him she's currently dating someone although she doesnt love the guy (that's me) as passionately as she loved him(the ex) but she's here cos of certain things she saw in me...Those words took away the last drop of care I have for her and she became ordinary to me

The real dilemma is she got pregnant around (March 2013) same month the ex got married and since I dont want blood on my hands I didnt advocate abortion(infact around this time, I had already broken up with her)...My family already knew her, likewise hers knows me, so her mum called me and I told her my reservations about her child's promiscuity, she begged me to forgive and let's keep it within ourselves(meanwhile I had been warned spiritually not to fight her and be careful in all dealings, I was also told the baby is mine - though I decided not to believe that part) after so much pressure, I decided to have a shabby introduction on a sunday like that, no extended family member of mine was present(Although my father is late and I hardly relate with his people for personal reasons) only my mum, few of my sisters and my brother(the lastborn of the family)...I try to keep everything as discrete as possible and wonderfully her job ensures she only comes around weekends...

God speak to me thru dreams and I have had dreams of me discovering the child isnt mine so many times, even thou certain spiritualists claim otherwise and they even claimed all the issues we have is due to her having spiritual husband(I just laugh and wish they know the details)...she tried been manipulative to get me to do a court wedding inspite telling her from the onset that I wont do that till I am sure I know the capabilities of the woman I'm with(even if na after 50 years)...I try to play along to make peace but always know when to say a bold NO to her pranks, I have told her clearly I want a DNA test before making a decision. Needless to say I have also been having bad dreams portraying threats to my live of which before now, I use to have absolute peace within me.

Lately I notice she dialed this ex, although they stay in same building (with the ex and his new family) and I asked what transpired, infact she had saved the number as unknown and was initially formin ignorance, even asking me if i know the number that it's been calling her, then I smiled and proved hto her who it was, she initially formed surprise until I told her that the natural thing to do when a strange number keeps calling you is to call and ask who it is, so she should do that now as I dey listen, she called that one and he denied ever calling her as she claimed, I called her mum to let her know and she obviously told the father everything to ehich he called and was quoting bible verses, i respected him and formed normalcy till she left after which I told her I need serious explanations as regards wat led her to saving the number as unknown and dialing it since d guy don claim say she no call am..

My dear Nairalanders if you were in my shoes what will you do, I just need a broad collection of solutions to aid my decisions, in as much as I know the right thing to do, I want to be careful due to earlier spiritual warnings and the tot of the child possibly bn mine.
Re: Messed Up Situation With A Wrong Woman by Gabrielsylar(m): 5:56pm On Oct 03, 2013
Wussy

3 Likes

Re: Messed Up Situation With A Wrong Woman by kindy86: 6:40pm On Oct 03, 2013
dinin with devil,




thank God she neva giv u dog meat
Re: Messed Up Situation With A Wrong Woman by Lovetinz(m): 6:44pm On Oct 03, 2013
I read your post three times to make sure I get a clear idea of the sequence of events.
Your Woman is an unrepentant cheat.
Get a DNA test asap to verify your paternity.
Cut her loose and count your loses.
Unfortunately, I don't subscribe to 'spiritual' advisers.

4 Likes

Re: Messed Up Situation With A Wrong Woman by Enegod(m): 6:57pm On Oct 03, 2013
damn!!!
i will be back with more comments
Re: Messed Up Situation With A Wrong Woman by Nobody: 7:04pm On Oct 03, 2013
Ok.... loooool.... this your story long o bros no vex.... buh on the long run i think it says it all.... she s a lying calculating manipulating biatch... cut her loose as lovetinz said...... and yeah the DNA paternity test... urgent....
Re: Messed Up Situation With A Wrong Woman by didicold(f): 7:07pm On Oct 03, 2013
Oga, u have made ur bed with a bunch of rattle snakes,it remains to be seen how u entangle urself.u r willing to be spiritual about attempts on ur life but not about d babe's paternity.oga i suggest u grow a pair, set a date wih a govt hospital for paternity test,invite her and find out d truth so u'l need to know if u should take up child support, as for d rest, seeing as u stuck with an serially cheating partner, i wont be d one to tell u u have to leave her, do whatever u want. But as a muslim, i have always believed God hold d power of life and death in his hands, i wont marry anybody because i feel threatened by dem spiritually.
All d best

1 Like

Re: Messed Up Situation With A Wrong Woman by didicold(f): 7:08pm On Oct 03, 2013
Oga, u have made ur bed with a bunch of rattle snakes,it remains to be seen how u entangle urself.u r willing to be spiritual about attempts on ur life but not about d babe's paternity.oga i suggest u grow a pair, set a date wih a govt hospital for paternity test,invite her and find out d truth so u'l need to know if u should take up child support, as for d rest, seeing as u stuck with an serially cheating partner, i wont be d one to tell u u have to leave her, do whatever u want. But as a muslim, i have always believed God hold d power of life and death in his hands, i wont marry anybody because i feel threatened by dem spiritually or physically, because dat is just signing a lifetime sentence of abuse.
All d best

3 Likes

Re: Messed Up Situation With A Wrong Woman by pasqal09: 7:11pm On Oct 03, 2013
Oga, if I were in ur shoes, I no do again. Baby or no baby
Re: Messed Up Situation With A Wrong Woman by Nobody: 7:18pm On Oct 03, 2013
Run!

1 Like

Re: Messed Up Situation With A Wrong Woman by lipsyliscious: 7:46pm On Oct 03, 2013
Jenams: Run!
RUN!!!!!! Even if u need to borrow my legs, I dash u with those of my sisters sef
Re: Messed Up Situation With A Wrong Woman by ayurdavid: 8:07pm On Oct 03, 2013
bros abeg go do paternity test. even if the baby is urs dont marry dat girl as you might end up regretting it forever!

2 Likes

Re: Messed Up Situation With A Wrong Woman by dahmie2013: 8:19pm On Oct 03, 2013
Bro! U're on a loooooonnnnnngggggg tin! U had better run 4 ur life! Dat baby is not urs spiritual or no spiritual, take it or leave it! embarassed
Re: Messed Up Situation With A Wrong Woman by Nobody: 8:33pm On Oct 03, 2013
Guess ur not man Enough Or u married her becos or maybe her family are rich If not.She cheated more than 5 times.U still went ahead to do intro.
I bet if you cheat back at her.She will get her senses,Simple.But for me to tell you RUN Nope I woun't .Stay until she Bleep your landlord,

1 Like

Re: Messed Up Situation With A Wrong Woman by wasak(m): 8:38pm On Oct 03, 2013
common!! damn d spiritual bullshittts... don't run... take a peaceful walk. u re in this mess cos u had sex with her. shes as unrepentant as PDP ...PLS DON'T EVER CONSIDER GETTING MARRIED TO HER...IF U DO I WON'T FORGIVE U...NEVER
Re: Messed Up Situation With A Wrong Woman by firetrap(m): 8:42pm On Oct 03, 2013
no be today them don dey try use pregnancy lock man down, op if I were u and if u have the finances I'll do not only one but two different paternity test from two different hospitals. please make them no dey use spirituality fear u, when God says its your time to go you'll go and till then just keep smiling as they keep trying in vain. never marry anyone out of pity or sentiments. if as u already know that u can never come to trust her flee even if the child is yours its not by force that u marry her. the only mistake u made is by going ahead to do an introduction. wise up oh
Re: Messed Up Situation With A Wrong Woman by pilotseq: 8:52pm On Oct 03, 2013
Guy you no well to dey ask this kind of question ooh.. Dude please leave that bitch!!!!!!!!!!! And move on with your life.. That girl will sooooooo much render you useless that will be forced to drink..... Inact a word is enough for the wise
Re: Messed Up Situation With A Wrong Woman by lacicrips(m): 8:53pm On Oct 03, 2013
Go for a dna test immediately. If the child is not yours, do not marry her. If the child is yours, do not marry her still.

1 Like

Re: Messed Up Situation With A Wrong Woman by Nobody: 8:54pm On Oct 03, 2013
Obviously, you were very soft to this lady, and she cheated the hell out of u.She is no good. Whether baby or not, cut her out of your life. She will ruin u..

1 Like

Re: Messed Up Situation With A Wrong Woman by Nobody: 9:07pm On Oct 03, 2013
Does this really happen? Is she a mamy water of somesort soo pretty and all that? 4give mi here am just trying to undastnd why you went back to her wen u knew she was a chronic cheat.

from all u typed,I think you personally saw the handwriting boldly on the wall. So what the hell happened to you? Were you that much inlove? cry u break up n make up like you were waiting on her or something coz I expect that during that period you guyz broke up, you would have met someone way better and loyal and moved on with your life.rather you went back to your cheating and untrustworthy ex. Why couldn't you just walk away. Trust me, people know what they say when they ask you never to get back with one's ex. now your traped with this so called pregnacy.

my advice, Run as fast as you can from that lady. Let no one pressure you. be it her family or yours or even the kid in the tommy. When the test results get out, and it says it's yours be a good father , be there For the child but do not marry her. Do not be callous or wicked to her. Infact if therez a way you can maintain friendship with her please do.but let me repeat, DO NOT MARRY HER. Shez DANGEROUS. And you wil be 4va sorry if you do.
Last bullet: be very prayerful God is your only best friend.

3 Likes

Re: Messed Up Situation With A Wrong Woman by nipeks001(m): 10:26pm On Oct 03, 2013
Guy go for a partenity test as soon as possible and if the baby is yours or not,still don't even try marrying her.Na wa o,you must really be a soft guy or in her word and mind a 'mugu' for her to cheat constantly and make a fool of you like this and pls stop doing any form of intrnduction.
Re: Messed Up Situation With A Wrong Woman by Nobody: 10:57pm On Oct 03, 2013
there are many things you should either do or not do;

- break up with her
- dont marriage or get engaged to her in any form
- dont sign any legal agreement with her
- go for std tests
- do not communicate with her except absolutely necessary.

however, i believe you will still fall mugu for her. she is pretty right?
Re: Messed Up Situation With A Wrong Woman by modextus(m): 11:45pm On Oct 03, 2013
Like a comedian once said 'Not every marriage started with...... would you marry me? Some started with..... i don get belle'


Bros i would have said some kinda annoying things but i came to realise that you might be among the very patient types. if I'm not wrong you guys broke up like 3 times..but you still kept on loving..na you love pass??

She told you to your face that she've cheated on you severally even to the extent of telling you the kind of conversation she had with one of the guys


Lemme tell you somehin if your thinking she'll change then you're on a long thing Oo..

NOte:once a liar ιѕ always a liar

1 Like

Re: Messed Up Situation With A Wrong Woman by Nobody: 11:46pm On Oct 03, 2013
i think she has not learnt. Her lessons. And the only reason she has not learnt her lesson is because ure still with her. U would do her more good if u leave her and never return, travel/relocate and change ur phone number if possible. By doin this, ure showing her the best love any man would ever offer . But first comfirm the real father of the child. If its u, take ur child along with u.
Re: Messed Up Situation With A Wrong Woman by Sunymoore(m): 12:39am On Oct 04, 2013
If I were you, Usain bolt no fit catch me ah swear

1 Like

Re: Messed Up Situation With A Wrong Woman by Nobody: 1:29am On Oct 04, 2013

I'd try to be brief...
Your story was quite touchy...
I'd try to hold back indulging in profanity. 'Cos d matter pain me reach my bone.
Go for a DNA test to verify paternity...
The test is just for you to clear the air and be responsible for you kid's welfare if it turns out to be yours Not for you to marry IT. I'm not superstitious so I don't buy all that spiritual crap. Guess that's one of the major things holding you back. If it'll make you feel better, go for deliverance. Let God deliver you from IT and all IT's associates.
You self know you can never marry IT. Don't allow yourself to be fooled. Forgive IT and try to forget it. Move on with your life. Marriage is a life time commitment to be enjoyed not endured.
Re: Messed Up Situation With A Wrong Woman by Kirinwa: 2:02am On Oct 04, 2013
Mtchew! Datz all.
Re: Messed Up Situation With A Wrong Woman by madone: 3:23am On Oct 04, 2013
Men its so painful that a nice guy like u is wit such a lying cheating witch, cos u have been manipulated rom the begining and its so painful that her family is pinning u down to this nonsense life. See my guy get a divorce and run without coming back If not u may just die o heart attack and they hell is the next point. Run for ur life
Re: Messed Up Situation With A Wrong Woman by Roland17(m): 4:25am On Oct 04, 2013
You have been a fooooool for too long and it's time for you to move on, the minute you hacked (even though I detest such) her account and read those derogatory words she used in describing you, you should have called it quits immediately and never looked back.

Beacause she is pregnant with a child she claims to be yours does not obligate or justify marriage or any form of long term commitment.. this is the 21st century bro... The worst that happens is that she gives birth, the paternity of the child is ascertained, if it's yours you can plead with your mother to care for the child with your support, if it's not yours like I suspect, the coast has become clearer..

If she is this promiscuous while you are dating what assurances do u have going into marriage which is the highest form of commitment. The more you toy with your emotions the more you loose sanity.

3 Likes

Re: Messed Up Situation With A Wrong Woman by dBard: 5:59am On Oct 04, 2013
Roland17: You have been a fooooool for too long and it's time for you to move on, the minute you hacked (even though I detest such) her account and read those derogatory words she used in describing you, you should have called it quits immediately and never looked back.

Beacause she is pregnant with a child she claims to be yours does not obligate or justify marriage or any form of long term commitment.. this is the 21st century bro... The worst that happens is that she gives birth, the paternity of the child is ascertained, if it's yours you can plead with your mother to care for the child with your support, if it's not yours like I suspect, the coast has become clearer..

If she is this promiscuous while you are dating what assurances do u have going into marriage which is the highest form of commitment. The more you toy with your emotions the more you loose sanity.

she left f a 6 months course n slept wit 3 ppl?? bro, do d maths .
DNA or not, since you've decided t accept d child, then do, But DO NOT under any circumstance marry her.

Do you think d parents aren't aware of her Do character failings? That they still insisting u go ahead wit her should give u major concerns d in-law u r going t get.
Continue following those spiritual mediums t ur own detriment.
Am out
Re: Messed Up Situation With A Wrong Woman by crissmac: 6:21am On Oct 04, 2013
seriously dude,
Don't marry this girl, she is bad news. its better you break up the engagement with her and take care of the child (if its proven to be yours after all the physical must collerate with the spiritual) than to be persuaded into trading your future and peace of mind.
i get sick and tired of people allowing spiritualists and pastors decide the important issues in their lives especially marriage. If God can speak to a pastor or any spiritualist for that matter, then he can speak to you.
Re: Messed Up Situation With A Wrong Woman by Exponental(m): 6:40am On Oct 04, 2013
With ur posts, u r out already. Just do d test n refer back to ur spiritual advice.

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