Ladies, my simple question is this?

How would you like to be approached?

Why am I asking?

Let me paint you a picture - I'm walking down the road and see this lovely girl, beautyful, walking glamorously towards me. She walks tall, looks splendid in her jeans and top and looks irresistible. I want to talk to her, get to know her, be a friend, start a friendship (but all platonic mind you, I am speaking for myself o!). What do I do that wont turn her off or reek of desperate young man?

OR

I want to catch a bus and I stroll down to the bus stop & see same girl above also waiting? What to do?

OR

I walk into an eatery or a supermarket and see same beauty. . . what to do?

So ladies, what would you want me to do? or any other guy for that matter? Assuming we cant take our eyes off & just keep quiet. Yeah, I know curiosity killed the cat!

iice:

No lame openings like - you're beautiful / i've seen you around type of thing.
Be confident and try to get the vibe of the person as in understand what she's saying and not saying
No trying to automatically think/feel like you, just let it flow
some people are seriously dense even a nuclear bomb will not illuminate anything

@poster
READ CAREFULLY!!!!

*making notes[size=8pt][/size]*

I DO NOT WANT approachment

Abeg!

Approach ONLY when you have a yacht or private jet!

Thank You, thats how i wanna be approached.

hmm *still making notes*

Yiikkkeesssss!!!!!!!!!

chamotex:

hmm *still making notes*

Chamo, dude abeg i go copy yur notes later, i wan saray reach one thread like dat. 9ice wan!

Gamine:

I DO NOT WANT approachment

Abeg!

Approach ONLY when you have a yacht or private jet!

Thank You, thats how i want to be approached.

ole, ole ole oleeeeeee . . . . . . . . .

ole, oleeee . . . . . . . .

all guys need to take note. 


first things first, do not, i repeat, do not approach a female if you are dirty. i hate seeing dirty guys trying to talk to me, i'm like: "go shave your hair and take a bath."  and also try not to be forceful, that is a big no no and a turn off. and also, know your age range, nothing is more annoying than seeing a 30 year old MAN trying to date a 15 year old GIRL. BIG NO NO.

*^{after typing this, i should write a book} *

*carrys on making notes*

From my little experience as a man i have observed a few things as regards approaching women.

First of all,understand that as God has given each of us a different face,so we individually have a different imagination and character.From this it follows that each of us lives according to our particular character and imagination and personality.

From the above explanation, i believe there is no approach method that can be guaranteed to work 100% on any lady or group of ladies in any situation.What works for one lady or the last three ladies may not work for the next lady you approach.

Some ladies like an indirect approach where you first beat about the bush before using style to say what you want,while most ladies like you to in a few short words,go straight to the point.

Furthermore,almost all ladies knows what you're after the second you approach her,so trying to use an indirect method to sugarcoat your intentions may make her feel you think she is dumb which is insultive.

For my experience,the direct method of an introduction of yourselves followed by you telling her you'll like to get know her better if she doesn't mind usually works best for me.That will automatically bypass the friendship level and she will put you in a "potential boyfriend" zone in her mind from the begining.

Ofcourse there are several times you will get turned down,or even outrightly snubbed.This should be expected.Its part of dating.Console yourself in the fact that this can be due to several factors.

She may be happily engaged,she is in a good relationship,she is in a bad mood,she has a terrible day,she's on her period and is therefore moody.There are so many reasons that has nothing to do with you.

The basic things you need as a man is CONFIDENCE,and be relaxed.DO NOT BE AFRAID.It is much easier than you think.

She will respond to the vibe you give.If you are looking down and acting nervous,she will become uncomfortable.If you behave as if you are talking to someone you are used to,she will feel relaxed also.Body language is important.

Before you approach her,it might help if you send her some "sign" first.For me i try to establish some eye contact,or something to make her think i'm checking her out.Just approaching suddenly out of the blues may be too much for the lady to take.Its kind of spooky.

By sending a sign to her,you quickly know if approaching her maybe worthwhile.If she frowns her face or behaves negatively,she may be saying you should not attempt it.Some ladies will send a positive signal back to you, like sending glances back at you.

In public places,you just have to be a man and take your chances.

Everything depends on the settings and circumstances.A direct method may work on a lady in a particular circumstance,like maybe you are in the bus and you will be getting off soon.You just need to tell the lady you will be getting off soon and you'll like to get to know her more soon.The same direct method may not work on the same lady if you are on a train and the next stop is an hour away.She may want to use the opportunity to get to a bit about you there before deciding if she would like to know more.

Its not a good thing to lie or pretend.If you have not seen her before,dont lie that you have seen her around.If you see her around,tell her you see her around at soso place.Be specific.If you think she is a student,ask her if she is a student.Regardless of what she says,the ice has been broken.It really is easy.

First impessions matters a lot,so dress neatly,and show good taste, and smell nice.

The basic things you need is to be confident,and show a relaxed body language,and some luck.

The rest is up to circumstances and the lady.

Show her some paper and she's all yours _{jk . . . jk}

@ ebmulo

u spoke well. . . . . . . but hw come u knw so much?. . . . . . . r u a woman wrapper? _{just kidding}

don't come up to me claiming you can buy me the world, cuz we both know you can't. and please don't use the "i've been watching you and i am in love with you" line cuz it means you have been stalking me.(stalker), don't come up showing off your money cuz if thats what you are banking on then i will help you spend it but don't expect anything from me. the way you come up to me is the way i will treat you.

ebmulo:

Before you approach her,it might help if you send her some "sign" first.For me i try to establish some eye contact,or something to make her think i'm checking her out.Just approaching suddenly out of the blues may be too much for the lady to take.Its kind of spooky.

By sending a sign to her,you quickly know if approaching her maybe worthwhile.If she frowns her face or behaves negatively,she may be saying you should not attempt it.Some ladies will send a positive signal back to you, like sending glances back at you.

this, i find, works pretty well and is a sure way to avoid a snub. You can always tell if she will be receptive or not.
Its a lot more difficult than you think though ebmulo, women are different so dont expect the same response.

One thing i however agree with is that you need loads of one thing - confidence.

@Ebmulo
well said,brotha.
@Poster
- make eye-contact first and dnt be d first 2 look away

-catch her eye d second time bt dis time ,be d first to look away and smile slowly 2 urself like u just caught her checkin u out.

-walk briskly and confidently to her, look her str8 in d eyes and introduce urself (never offer ur hand)

- whatever she says, act like u already knew what her reaction was goin to be(let ur body language reflect confidence and ease)

- if she responds in a friendly manner, make it clear u find her an interesting person, bt u really hve sm  other stuff u need to do (dnt hang around, max: 3 mins)

-ask if she's got email and offer her a pen and paper to write it down

-while she's doin dat, tell her 2 also write her numba.

-Then walk away wt ur shoulders str8 and head high (dnt hang around)

-if u still dig her, call or mail her d next day (not dat same day)

All d best.

It's beautiful being a woman . Who wants to be bothered about issues like this? Definitely not me.

Rapsody:

rson, bt u really hve sm  other stuff u need to do (dnt hang around, max: 3 mins)


-if u still dig her, call or mail her d next day[b] (not that same day)[/b]

All d best.

and why not the same day?

rapsody, email?

ikamefa:

and why not the same day?

the last thing you want her to think is that u're either desperate or have absolutely nothing else interesting going on in your life.

stillwater:

It's beautiful being a woman . Who wants to be bothered about issues like this? Definitely not me.

look at the flipside; a woman is only as good as the men who approach her. It takes a lot of nerve but i'd never swap this for a woman's shoes ever. I cant imagine seeing a guy i like and i wait till forever for him to approach me.

I don't approach ladies, they approach me!!!!!

ROTFLMAO!!

@Post
Approached by who?
debtors, friends, business man?
By celebrities, a man,, a woman, a child?

- if she responds in a friendly manner, make it clear u find her an interesting person, bt u really hve sm  other stuff u need to do (dnt hang around, max: 3 mins) - Depends on where you meet her though. If she's comfortable you can spend a bit more time with her. Caveat - Never stay until she's the one to initiate departure.

-ask if she's got email and offer her a pen and paper to write it down - Depends again, if you know where she lives or works and are likely to meet her more regularly i wouldnt do this on the first meet.

-while she's doin that, tell her 2 also write her numba. - Good idea, even though i chill until i'm more relaxed with her to take it to the next level.

Generally, good points.

davidylan:

the last thing you want her to think is that u're either desperate or have absolutely nothing else interesting going on in your life.

na wah oh all this posing /posturing and effizzy

for wetin?  

is she likes and want you, you are still getting her, whether you contact her immediately or in 50 years   "   "

Pataki:

I don't approach ladies, they approach me!!!!!

Lol yeah right

Rapsody:

@Ebmulo
well said,brotha.
@Poster
- make eye-contact first and dnt be d first 2 look away

-catch her eye d second time bt this time ,be d first to look away and smile slowly 2 yourself like u just caught her checkin u out.

-walk briskly and confidently to her, look her str8 in d eyes and introduce yourself (never offer your hand)

- whatever she says, act like u already knew what her reaction was goin to be(let your body language reflect confidence and ease)

- if she responds in a friendly manner, make it clear u find her an interesting person, bt u really hve sm  other stuff u need to do (dnt hang around, max: 3 mins)

-ask if she's got email and offer her a pen and paper to write it down

-while she's doin that, tell her 2 also write her numba.

-Then walk away wt your shoulders str8 and head high (dnt hang around)

-if u still dig her, call or mail her d next day (not that same day)

All d best.

Give her your number instead
The days of men asking for contacts have passed

davidylan:


look at the flipside; a woman is only as good as the men who approach her. It takes a lot of nerve but i'd never swap this for a woman's shoes ever. I can't imagine seeing a guy i like and i wait till forever for him to approach me.

Naa you don't have to wait forever, there are subtle greenlights you give out and before you know it he's already eating from your palm.

davidylan:

r. I can't imagine seeing a guy i like and i wait till forever for him to approach me.

You say that like all girls subscribe that that school of thought.

eldee:

Give her your number instead
The days of men asking for contacts have passed

big no no! You'll sit there waiting for her to contact you? If its a real decent chic she wont call you.

ikamefa:

na wah oh all this posing /posturing and effizzy

for wetin?  

is she likes and want you, you are still getting her, whether you contact her immediately or in 50 years   "   "

my sister, some of the posturing is necessary.   you people are not so easy to read.

stillwater:

Naa you don't have to wait forever, there are subtle greenlights you give out and before you know it he's already eating from your palm.

Educate us plz

davidylan:

big no no! You'll sit there waiting for her to contact you? If its a real decent chic she wont call you.

my sister, some of the posturing is necessary.   you people are not so easy to read.

odiegwu! 

Mesmerize:

Educate us plz

seconded!