Dear nairalanders, please advice me cos I feel like packing out. My hubby has a good job and gets good salary which should be enough for a married man to care for his family. But sometime ago he told me he wants to set up a business with his brother which I did not accept because I alreaddy knew what it will cost my family, he refused and set up dis business in his name, brother and brother's wife. Right now he comes to d house very late frm monday to saturday while the other are grooving their lives cos they have all it takes at their disposals. I have done all I could to express my displeasure over dis, but all to no avail. Please what do I do cos I don't want to do what my mind is telling me.

Please don't do what your mind is telling you.

All he's struggling to do is make life very comfy for you and your kids. A man who is not able to provide for his family is worse than an infidel. He wants to be able able to send you and the kids abroad for vacations,provide for you so that you will be happy!

I think you should support him,pray for him and ask him to make out time for you and the kids. One thing I've learnt on NL,is COMMUNICATION.

^{Btw,my husband and ur husband na the same person}

what is your mind telling you

What is your mind telling you?

Do you have a job?

What time do you close? (if you have one)

I have a big fear, the business is in his name, brother and brother's wife. Why were you left behind?

Are you sure there is nothing more to the business than an attempt to be far away from you.

Do you have kids?

No no no. You cant pack out!

otise: Dear nairalanders, please advice me cos I feel like packing out. My hubby has a good job and gets good salary which should be enough for a married man to care for his family. But sometime ago he told me he wants to set up a business with his brother which I did not accept because I alreaddy knew what it will cost my family, he refused and set up dis business in his name, brother and brother's wife. Right now he comes to d house very late frm monday to saturday while the other are grooving their lives cos they have all it takes at their disposals. I have done all I could to express my displeasure over dis, but all to no avail. Please what do I do cos I don't want to do what my mind is telling me.

otise: Dear nairalanders, please advice me cos I feel like packing out. My hubby has a good job and gets good salary which should be enough for a married man to care for his family. But sometime ago he told me he wants to set up a business with his brother which I did not accept because I alreaddy knew what it will cost my family, he refused and set up dis business in his name, brother and brother's wife. Right now he comes to d house very late frm monday to saturday while the other are grooving their lives cos they have all it takes at their disposals. I have done all I could to express my displeasure over dis, but all to no avail. Please what do I do cos I don't want to do what my mind is telling me.

Madam, this is not a reason to pack out. Infact I bind the demon in that your mind. You need to find time and talk to your husband. Please dont fight him as he will become very defensive. My wife a while ago complained about the same thing and my best friend's wife is currently complaining about the same thing. So first of all nothing unusual.

One of the reasons he is hustling that much is for you and the children to have a better life but you need to tell him there are alot of disadvantages to it. First of all is his health. Tell him too much stress is not good for his health. He needs to take care of himself, rest well, take a vacation and even medical check up. Tell him all the stress will amount to nothing if he dropped dead or was shot by robbers while coming back late. Let him see that you care about him the most.

Then tell him that both you and the kids miss him. Let him know you are grateful for all his efforts but you all want to spend quality time with him and he also needs to connect with the kids. Tell him if he misses this opportunity to connect with the kids it may be difficult in future and you also miss him.

Madam, your husband is just trying to maximise his potential but he is just overdoing it. No harm in that, so as a wife you just need to talk to him.

Nash good points but there's a seperate issue of the business being owned by her hubby, her BIL and SIL..

That's also weird

Why is your husband taking such a risk as to partnering with a man and his wife? There's more to this story. I actually think your husband is a nice guy that is easily manipulated. There are not too many men I know that will willingly partner with someone else especially with their spouses involved and work as hard as your husband is working. From a business stand point it is risky. Is it one of those business arrangement were the brother and wife have the money and your husband is the work horse? Why were you not included in the business arrangement? Do you have a career? I am asking all these questions just to get a clearer picture of why your husband felt it necessary to do this?

Poster, I feel you!

I also think that there is more to life than just money and more money. Each day without your family is time you will not be able to get back, no matter how much money you have. People forget that time is precious too, especially the time spent with your loved ones.

Nevertheless don't rush to make a move, you might regret. Talk to him, have some more patience.

What is your economic value to the house?

You mentioned that your husband has a good salary, what about you? How is your job and salary like?

Maybe if you try and make something decent the man would be more confident to stay at home without fear of his family starving and maybe include you in the business idea

If the man doesnt make enough money while sitting at home, Na this same women would abuse him, He goes out to make money you still complain

Damn if you do, Damned if you dont.

Most men would rather be scarce in the house hustling than endure verbal abuse from women.

pickabeau1: Nash good points but there's a seperate issue of the business being owned by her hubby, her BIL and SIL..

That's also weird

perhaps the SIL invested some of her own personal income to the business whilst the OP spent hers on peruvian hair & colourful aso-ebi.

coogar:

perhaps the SIL invested some of her own personal income to the business whilst the OP spent hers on peruvian hair & colourful aso-ebi.

coogar:

perhaps the SIL invested some of her own personal income to the business whilst the OP spent hers on peruvian hair & colourful aso-ebi.

He's back!

The coogar is back

Actually the question here is what are the financial arrangements in the event of demise of the man say,.. will the woman or the kids be put into the partnership or the inlaws will waka pass with the dough...

That is what she has to know

If it is a clean arrrangement, then imo the op just has to chill
Early days of a biz tends to be tasking n demanding
By the time the biz is on its feet n on autorun, the man will have time for family
Be understanding

pickabeau1:

He's back!

The coogar is back

back? i never left.....i pitch my tent in the sports section lately.

anyways, the OP should do her due diligence & investigate the terms of the business contract instead of threatening us of what she might do.

Why can't you just be patient?
Michelle Obama had to do the same for many years. . .SHE DID NOT PACK OUT!
Look at them today.

NA WOMAN DEY MAKE HOUSE. . . Please, be a WOMAN. . . not a NAG!

Dayokanu and coogar have made very good points. That is why I asked the OP those questions but she has not answered.

coogar:

back? i never left.....i pitch my tent in the sports section lately.

anyways, the OP should do her due diligence & investigate the terms of the business contract instead of threatening us of what she might do.

good to hear/.. shes just on a rant...

coogar:

perhaps the SIL invested some of her own personal income to the business whilst the OP spent hers on peruvian hair & colourful aso-ebi.

her money is nt in d buziness neither do I fix weavons and I equally have beta things to invest my time on. My hubby loves his family so much, as a result he wants a business dat will kip d love growing.

coogar:

back? i never left.....i pitch my tent in the sports section lately.

anyways, the OP should do her due diligence & investigate the terms of the business contract instead of threatening us of what she might do.

I'm nt making a threat anyway, I've confidedin my BIL concerning d emotional trauma and he told me he does nt have anytini to do wit money and my hubby is d. One overdoing it. So wot do I do again?

otise: I'm nt making a threat anyway, I've confidedin my BIL concerning d emotional trauma and he told me he does nt have anytini to do wit money and my hubby is d. One overdoing it. So wot do I do again?

Confided in your BIL leaving out your husband? What a foolish thing to do. So your husband is a tin god you can't discuss your fear with? How do you expect the guy to start spewing things to you if you can't talk with your husband. No wonder the guy is keeping late away from home.

soul_glo: Why is your husband taking such a risk as to partnering with a man and his wife? There's more to this story. I actually think your husband is a nice guy that is easily manipulated. There are not too many men I know that will willingly partner with someone else especially with their spouses involved and work as hard as your husband is working. From a business stand point it is risky. Is it one of those business arrangement were the brother and wife have the money and your husband is the work horse? Why were you not included in the business arrangement? Do you have a career? I am asking all these questions just to get a clearer picture of why your husband felt it necessary to do this?

tthanks much, I'm a graduate and I work wit d civil serv.comm. He is a very nice guy and can actualy b manipulated. Wen d issue came up I told him d prons and conS of wot he was abt to dc o and I told I'm nt in support of dis cos it cud break dem apart bt while I was busy doing all dis, d SIL was busy runningh around for shop den I made him realize dat d woma n wil b in charge of dat place and least giv little respect for dis family bt he kept telling me he loves his brother so muc h. Dey got a place to my surprise her name was included,d broda and wife are very comfortable I mean vey very comfortable, thhey don't go there, bt is just my hubby dat goes to d d shop after he closes frm d office. Though I've taken all to God the Originator of marriage! God bless u.

bellong:

Confided in your BIL leaving out your husband? What a foolish thing to do. So your husband is a tin god you can't discuss your fear with? How do you expect the guy to start spewing things to you if you can't talk with your husband. No wonder the guy is keeping late away from home.

pls I do not nid to b insulted to get an advice frm u! Ask me questions and I think I wil appreciate it beta. Thanks!

otise: pls I do not nid to b insulted to get an advice frm u! Ask me questions and I think I wil appreciate it beta. Thanks!

Could you point at where I insulted you? I actually described what you did as not wise and one word for not wise is foolish. Sorry if it didn't meet you well. I hope you learn to do what is right.

bellong:

Could you point at where I insulted you? I actually described what you did as not wise and one word for not wise is foolish. Sorry if it didn't meet you well. I hope you learn to do what is right.

thanks and God bless u abundantly!

xdream: No no no. You cant pack out! All you need is a sugar boy. 08038325115

FALLS FROM PALM TREE

Its easy for me to stay outside your marriage and give good advice...but I won't do that. However I want to recommend a book that happens to be a 'fixer' for situations like this - "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.

otise: tthanks much, I'm a graduate and I work wit d civil serv.comm. He is a very nice guy and can actualy b manipulated. Wen d issue came up I told him d prons and conS of wot he was abt to dc o and I told I'm nt in support of dis cos it cud break dem apart bt while I was busy doing all dis, d SIL was busy runningh around for shop den I made him realize dat d woma n wil b in charge of dat place and least giv little respect for dis family bt he kept telling me he loves his brother so muc h. Dey got a place to my surprise her name was included,d broda and wife are very comfortable I mean vey very comfortable, thhey don't go there, bt is just my hubby dat goes to d d shop after he closes frm d office. Though I've taken all to God the Originator of marriage! God bless u.

I kind of figured that was exactly what was going on. My opinion is that you back off. Your husband will learn soon enough. Partnerships can be a headache but partnering with a couple? He will have to learn on his own.

soul_glo:

I kind of figured that was exactly what was going on. My opinion is that you back off. Your husband will learn soon enough. Partnerships can be a headache but partnering with a couple? He will have to learn on his own.

thanks so much for ur encouragement,I've backed out already, ijust pray he does nt learn in ahard way. I will kip praying for him.

Man get small paying job with not much money for the family, the woman go complain and want to pack out.
Man get big paying job and wants to do more to make the family more comfortable (and just in case he losses his job), the woman go complain more and want to pack out.
So my solution is this....man do what you please. She will pack out if she wants and will stay if she wants.