She says they have never dated, are not
dating, they are not in love, they've never
kissed not to talk of going the extra mile,
and she isn't planning to. But that he is her best friend. They have
known each other for a very long time. She insists she doesn’t have feelings for him
and that he doesn’t have a crush on her
either. That it's just that she can tell him
anything, can confide in him.
But I'm kinda confused. Is this okay?
I need sincere answers pls.

Do u trust her?

Olekumaster: She says they have never dated, are not
dating, they are not in love, they've never
kissed not to talk of going the extra mile,
and she isn't planning to. But that he is her best friend. They have
known each other for a very long time. She insists she doesn’t have feelings for him
and that he doesn’t have a crush on her
either. That it's just that she can tell him
anything, can confide in him.
But I'm kinda confused. Is this okay?
I need sincere answers pls.

Hmm,truth be told it is not easy for two mature people to be friends. One of them will have this hot feeling for the other and they usually end up being friends with benefits. He may just be fu*cking your babe.
Welcome to the world

It's gonna be very difficult for you, just ask her to make you her best friend and lover.

Olekumaster: She says they have never dated, are not
dating, they are not in love, they've never
kissed not to talk of going the extra mile,
and she isn't planning to. But that he is her best friend. They have
known each other for a very long time. She insists she doesn’t have feelings for him
and that he doesn’t have a crush on her
either. That it's just that she can tell him
anything, can confide in him.
But I'm kinda confused. Is this okay?
I need sincere answers pls.

You are supposed to be your girlfriend's best friend. You are supposed to be the one she can tell anything and can confide in. Is she more comfortable with him than she is with you? Does he know how she feels before you do? Even if all these are true, do not worry. Try to earn her trust and be the one she can confide in. It won't be easy because she has known this dude for a long time. This is why it is advisable to form a very close bond with someone before starting a relationship with them. I have never met any woman that will condone her man having a female best friend. Interestingly, so many people will prefer their spouses to cheat on them with someone they have no feeling for, than for their spouse to have an emotional and platonic relationship with another person.

of cos its okay. The fact that u cant keep the opposite sex as a best friend dosnt mean other people cant handle it perfectly.

everytin in her response is fishy: so she claim to love you but cant confide in you rather s1 else? wow

you guys are in love and another guy is her best friend? wow

if they can talk about everythin and any thin,share moments she wouldnt even think of sharing with u, be rest assured they be bangin it. trust me. dont bliv those blatant lies if not, one day you would be shocked to d point of death.

havent you heard? that even worse enemies get to bond when allowed time, space and a lil enclosure?

she is using you gee......... let her go b4 you get burned. if you must stay, remove emotions and just do the bangin if she is good in that spheres.
take it that you r having an open r/ship( dont tell her though, just do ya thing) date other gurls. if you aint that sleek in secrecy and she gets to know, tell her that the others are your best friends too....

or you can put her love to the test: tell her you cant have it any other way, it is either she let him go or you walk....

astute nonsense( terribly hate it when gurls play on guy's intelligence. a fish she is...... i can tell you that from within my 3d periscope on one of ma friends.

this is no question of trust as s1 so graciously asked : men are born lions, only a foolish farmer would leave his lovely sheep in the care of one no matter how harmless. Go figure......

Regards

Don

nekaa: of cos its okay. The fact that u cant keep the opposite sex as a best friend dosnt mean other people cant handle it perfectly.

i can see how much you can handle it:

cud you please tell me this: why dont you just date that your best friend and spare the world all the extra curricular aches?

ladies that talk like this, have one goal in mind: they all wano eat their cake and have it still.

i put it to you that it is either you are bangin one and using the other to meet ends, or you are using both and bangin both or you are really the angel you say u r( which rarely happens) cos even if you aint thinkin it, Mr Best friend has got blood in his veins and his eyes are not blind to your endowments unless of cos you are as dry as a bonga fish.

what gives huh?

Hmm realy i feel ur pains op,a ladi happens 2 b my bestfrnd dhr was a day dis same question arises nd i told hr 1ce she starts datin or i start datin i wuld reduce our closeness.she thought i was mean she got angry nd walk out.lets face d fact havin an opposite sex as 1ce best frnd is realy nice nd whoa but if d person is in rlship u wuld prefer dat ur frnd 2 ur partnr because he or she knws u well includin ur secrets nd u guys mite even end up cheatin 1day d worst is dat u wnt even give ur partner all ur time nd resources it even leads 2 jealousy.talk 2 her nd tell hr hw u feel talk abt hw u feel jealous nd unhappy she wuld understand nd i think dat r frnd is a bit foolish 4 nt reducin d closeness since e knws she is in a rlship

i actually told her to make me her best friend and lover. But she just happen to 'trust' this guy so much. Just still contemplating maybe i will have to end the relationship.

Olekumaster: i actually told her to make me her best friend and lover. But she just happen to 'trust' this guy so much. Just still contemplating maybe i will have to end the relationship.

guy!!!! run away!!! 190 knows better.. a shoulder to cry on soon becomes a kpekus to ride on!!!

Olekumaster: i actually told her to make me her best friend and lover. But she just happen to 'trust' this guy so much. Just still contemplating maybe i will have to end the relationship.

U mean she trust d guy mor dan u?
Ooh bros! I think u'r really loosing d battle.
But on a serious note, what will you be doing with a girl that confides in another guy more than you?
Think twice.

sub_zero:
U mean she trust d guy mor dan u?
Ooh bros! I think u'r really loosing d battle.
But on a serious note, what will you be doing with a girl that confides in another guy more than you?
Think twice.

sub_zero:
U mean she trust d guy mor dan u?
Ooh bros! I think u'r really loosing d battle.
But on a serious note, what will you be doing with a girl that confides in another guy more than you?
Think twice.

omo see gobe! dem be dancin skelewu on his head

HARDDON:

omo see gobe! dem be dancin skelewu on his head

Leave dat boy.
E be like him from Zimbabwe.
Lemme even assume they are not doing anything.
But from all the OP's comments, does he think "his babe" will resist him if the guy made an attempt?
Even if she resist the first day, does he also think she'll resist the second?
OP, u dey fu*k up na!

U shld b d new bestie and lover. That's the wai it shld b d closeness and time spent with the other guy should reduce drasticali. He can stil b a close friend but what kind of relationship would you be in if your girl can't confide in you? You should be her number one confidant.

Wt all due respect, i tnk alot here ar funny cos I see notin rong in ving d oppsit as best frnd. I'm married, my best friend is a girl engaged 2 a frnd & junior col. Nt 2 say we dnt ve feelings bt

WE MADE A CLEAR DEFINITION OF OUR RELATIONSHIP from d onset and beding each other wz nt part of d MoU.
Off cause d issue of jealousy can b eliminated when ur spouse know he/she can trust you n ur so called B/frnd.
D RULES
1. Define ur reltionships wt opp
2. Stick 2 d rules
3. Win n keep d trust of ur spouse
4. Never isolate ur B/frnd's spouse(D golden rule)
5. Avoid body contacts as much as possible esp errotic zones
6. PRAY 2GETHER

lecturerdabo: Wt all due respect, i tnk alot here ar funny cos I see notin rong in ving d oppsit as best frnd. I'm married, my best friend is a girl engaged 2 a frnd & junior col. Nt 2 say we dnt ve feelings bt

WE MADE A CLEAR DEFINITION OF OUR RELATIONSHIP from d onset and beding each other wz nt part of d MoU.
Off cause d issue of jealousy can b eliminated when ur spouse know he/she can trust you n ur so called B/frnd.
D RULES
1. Define ur reltionships wt opp
2. Stick 2 d rules
3. Win n keep d trust of ur spouse
4. Never isolate ur B/frnd's spouse(D golden rule)
5. Avoid body contacts as much as possible esp errotic zones
6. PRAY 2GETHER

But sir,
i think it depends on the two ppl involved. The OP even said that his gf confides more 2d guy more than him. How does that sound?
Sir, i'm sure u won't confide more 2 ur female best frnd than ur wife, or do u?

End time

Olekumaster: She says they have never dated, are not
dating, they are not in love, they've never
kissed not to talk of going the extra mile,
and she isn't planning to. But that he is her best friend. They have
known each other for a very long time. She insists she doesn’t have feelings for him
and that he doesn’t have a crush on her
either. That it's just that she can tell him
anything, can confide in him.
But I'm kinda confused. Is this okay?
I need sincere answers pls.

Read the bolded carefully and digest it word for word especially this part----- "IN HIM"..

Just be bold and ask her how many times she has "CONFIDED IN HIM" and if they used condom..
..
All izz welll!

You should go get a female best friend too.
Tell her that you want a break from the relationship.... From there, find your square root!


What nonsense!

Kslib:
Read the bolded carefully and digest it word for word especially this part----- "IN HIM"..

Just be bold and ask her how many times she has "CONFIDED IN HIM" and if they used condom..
..
All izz welll!

LMAO.

There is absolutely nothing wrong as long as you trust her, afterall he was in her life before you and you can't just expect such a good friendship to end just like that cos of you.

My ex tried to make me get rid of all my male friends, even the ones that were like brothers to me. Stupidly I did it cos of love but i felt incomplete afterwards and the relationship just didn't work out due to his insecurity and lack of trust.

You need to trust her and if possible get to know the guy, see what you're up against. Good luck

nekaa: of cos its okay. The fact that u cant keep the opposite sex as a best friend dosnt mean other people cant handle it perfectly.

So you will be okay if your man has a female best friend whom he trusts and confides in more than you?

Princessmel: There is absolutely nothing wrong as long as you trust her, afterall he was in her life before you and you can't just expect such a good friendship to end just like that cos of you.

My ex tried to make me get rid of all my male friends, even the ones that were like brothers to me. Stupidly I did it cos of love but i felt incomplete afterwards and the relationship just didn't work out due to his insecurity and lack of trust.

You need to trust her and if possible get to know the guy, see what you're up against. Good luck

You are missing the point. He doesn't have a problem with his gf having male friends. I don't have a problem with mine having male friends either. The problem is that she confides in and trust this male best friend more than her own boyfriend. Haba? You sef no gree with that kind thing now?

gothrones:

You are missing the point. He doesn't have a problem with his gf having male friends. I don't either. The problem is that she confides in and trust this male best friend more than her own boyfriend. Haba? You sef no gree with that kind thing now?

I understand, it just means he needs time to build this level of trust and being a confidant with his gf. It does not just happen immediately

^
I agree, but the lady also has to take him into consideration. I am speaking from experience. I have ruined a relationship because my ex-girlfriend assumed that I would never trust her as I did one of my close female friend. Now that I am more mature, I understand her point of view. In fact, trust is not supposed to be built during the course of a relationship, it is supposed to be built prior to it.

gothrones: ^
I agree, but the lady also has to take him into consideration. I am speaking from experience. I have ruined a relationship because my ex-girlfriend assumed that I would never trust her as I did one of my close female friend. Now that I am more mature, I understand her point of view. In fact, trust is not supposed to be built during the course of a relationship, it is supposed to be built prior to it.

Yes, trust until you're given a reason not to but this is easier said than done especially based on pre conceived opinions

Kslib:
Read the bolded carefully and digest it word for word especially this part----- "IN HIM"..

Just be bold and ask her how many times she has "CONFIDED IN HIM" and if they used condom..
..
All izz welll!

Bwahahahahahaha!!!

OP, just know that anything you do with her, all the happenings in your relationship will fall on the guy's laps. He'll know everything. If una kiss, she'll tell him.

Talking from experience.

Olekumaster: i actually told her to make me her best friend and lover. But she just happen to 'trust' this guy so much. Just still contemplating maybe i will have to end the relationship.

dnt brk up wit hr its always like dat.my best frnd a ladi tells me everytyhin inshort even if a guy shuld ask her out but yt we r nt datin n i kant date hr.so many people includin hr anty mum nd frnds thinks we r datin none of dem beliefs we r just frnd.but 1ce she starts a rlshp i wuld reduce d closeness just give hr sumtime pls pls dnt brk up.most f d people tellin u 2 brk up dnt hv d opposite sex as dhr bst frnd.tell her hw u feel talk 2 hr best frnd nd if e his wise enough e wld stop.give ur rlship a chance quitin is nt d only way 2 solve things