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A Baby Father Or A Divorced Dad: Which Is Better For The Child? - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: A Baby Father Or A Divorced Dad: Which Is Better For The Child? by Fhemmmy: 2:23pm On Oct 17, 2013
None is better . . . But i think it is almost worse for the child to lose something that he/she has been used to after so long.
Waoh, what a question for the adult
Re: A Baby Father Or A Divorced Dad: Which Is Better For The Child? by InvertedHammer: 2:27pm On Oct 17, 2013
ifyalways: Depends. A r3tardeed baby daddy is neither > nor < a divorced cretiin. tongue

Baby daddy for me.

/

Call them whatever....you opened those legs to invite them into your life.

Ladies choose irresponsible men and turn around to blame everyone else but themselves
for their wrong choices.

Ret@rded baby daddy? You chose a "retardeen" to procreate with? Tells a lot.

Divorced cretin? Look in the mirror my dear!
cool

/

4 Likes

Re: A Baby Father Or A Divorced Dad: Which Is Better For The Child? by ifyalways(f): 2:31pm On Oct 17, 2013
InvertedHammer:

/

Call them whatever....you opened those legs to invite them into your life.

Ladies choose irresponsible men and turn around to blame everyone else but themselves
for their wrong choices.

Ret@rded baby daddy? You chose a "retardeen" to procreate with? Tells a lot.

Divorced cretin? Look in the mirror my dear!
cool

/
What is this thing

Sagamite !,come'ere now. cheesy
Re: A Baby Father Or A Divorced Dad: Which Is Better For The Child? by tpia5: 2:55pm On Oct 17, 2013
the products of such unions (the ones who are being discussed as if they are incapable of speaking for themselves), are the people who should be giving opinions here, not armchair adults with a sense of entitlement and a god complex.

not the mother, not the father, but the ones who actually have to handle the fallout from so-called adult decisions.

how on earth can people be asking which one is "better" for the child? You might as well include baby farm in the thread title.

1 Like

Re: A Baby Father Or A Divorced Dad: Which Is Better For The Child? by buoye1(m): 3:00pm On Oct 17, 2013
NONE
Re: A Baby Father Or A Divorced Dad: Which Is Better For The Child? by freety(m): 3:00pm On Oct 17, 2013
Google the question poster
Re: A Baby Father Or A Divorced Dad: Which Is Better For The Child? by Nobody: 3:22pm On Oct 17, 2013
Neither one is the better option.
Re: A Baby Father Or A Divorced Dad: Which Is Better For The Child? by OAM4J: 3:33pm On Oct 17, 2013
What is better for the child is a responsible father wether he is a baby father or divorced dad makes little difference.

3 Likes

Re: A Baby Father Or A Divorced Dad: Which Is Better For The Child? by Sagamite(m): 3:54pm On Oct 17, 2013
Omo_Alata: What about the case of a husband who is just a sperm donor? The wife is basically the one raising the kids.

Btw, sagamite u should have bended some more in that pose, I would have love to see the bubblicious of your booty

Ah! Omo, don't let me get raunchy o.

I will just post a pix of my twerking with my booty noni. tongue grin
Re: A Baby Father Or A Divorced Dad: Which Is Better For The Child? by Sagamite(m): 3:56pm On Oct 17, 2013
ifyalways:
What is this thing

Sagamite !,come'ere now. cheesy

grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin

You have to forgive because thou does not knoweth the origins of the phrases. grin
Re: A Baby Father Or A Divorced Dad: Which Is Better For The Child? by chucky234(m): 5:01pm On Oct 17, 2013
I'll never be a baby dad or divorced father, no matter what may happen in my marriage I and my wife will give it our all to stay together and see our children grow into the men and women we wants them to be.

2 Likes

Re: A Baby Father Or A Divorced Dad: Which Is Better For The Child? by Nobody: 5:19pm On Oct 17, 2013
A good father isnt determined by how much time is spent with a child. Its about the care for the child in all aspects and quality of time spent together.. having said that, some kids are better without their dads.

3 Likes

Re: A Baby Father Or A Divorced Dad: Which Is Better For The Child? by Sagamite(m): 5:20pm On Oct 17, 2013
chucky234: I'll never be a baby dad or divorced father, no matter what may happen in my marriage I and my wife will give it our all to stay together and see our children grow into the men and women we wants to be.

You can speak for yourself but I suggest don't speak for your wife.

You might give it all, she might reach a point all she wants to give is one twentieth to stay together because if you both part ways she can get half.
Re: A Baby Father Or A Divorced Dad: Which Is Better For The Child? by Nobody: 5:54pm On Oct 17, 2013
bukatyne: I know we hear that divorce affects the kids but I sometimes don't get it.

The home has been very unhappy for a while and everyone goes their separate ways, shouldn't the kids be happy esp. when there was an abusive partner?

Abuse is just one of the millions of causes that could precipitate a divorce what with no-fault divorces.
The home need not be unhappy before a divorce, the couple could be 'tired' of each other, either spouse could ha ve found someone else to love, etc etc. So, really, the home could be the epitome of happiness till the divorce.
And then a couple could each other's guts and the kids could be ha ving the time of their lives.
Re: A Baby Father Or A Divorced Dad: Which Is Better For The Child? by bukatyne(f): 6:36pm On Oct 17, 2013
fresh_dude: Abuse is just one of the millions of causes that could precipitate a divorce what with no-fault divorces.
The home need not be unhappy before a divorce, the couple could be 'tired' of each other, either spouse could ha ve found someone else to love, etc etc. So, really, the home could be the epitome of happiness till the divorce.
And then a couple could each other's guts and the kids could be ha ving the time of their lives.

I know that's why I included that exception.

It is well

I am very sure kids would prefer their parents divorced than slitting each other's throats daily
Re: A Baby Father Or A Divorced Dad: Which Is Better For The Child? by zeelo2014: 7:00pm On Oct 17, 2013
Ever heard of the word "Bastard"? That's what Baby daddy produces.

2 Likes

Re: A Baby Father Or A Divorced Dad: Which Is Better For The Child? by Nobody: 7:07pm On Oct 17, 2013
zeelo2014: Ever heard of the word "Bastard"? That's what Baby daddy produces.

I never use this word because it is an insult to INNOCENT children. It doesn't exist in my dictionary!

1 Like

Re: A Baby Father Or A Divorced Dad: Which Is Better For The Child? by Sagamite(m): 7:26pm On Oct 17, 2013
^^^^

Weyree ma le leyi o! (This one na mad man o)
Re: A Baby Father Or A Divorced Dad: Which Is Better For The Child? by tintingz(m): 7:28pm On Oct 17, 2013
Merkki:

I understand your point. I know of women who don't want marriage. My aunt has 4 children from 2 men and she doesn't want to settle down. She is 46 now and the children are grown. She turned down marriage proposals. She would tell you she is married to her career. She is beautiful and won beauty peagant when she was younger.

I know of another friend that doesn't want to have anything to do with marriage. She lives in New York with two adopted sons.

To each his own. I wonder what a baby daddy is though. How do you explain there is no mummy? Too many questions from the children.
A typical feminist ideology

You mean she had children for two different men and she didn't marry any of them? This is what they call..... smiley
Re: A Baby Father Or A Divorced Dad: Which Is Better For The Child? by Nobody: 7:28pm On Oct 17, 2013
carefreewannabe: Food for thought.

I can't tell because I am one of those children who have always had a father at home. And I still believe that it is paradise like to have a mother and a father under one roof who love each other. This is the healthiest environment for a child.

However, I have seen children whose parents go through divorce when they are 10 +. Most of these children are negatively affected which is shown in their school performance. Being once good students, they change for the worse, at least for some period in time. So maybe growing up with your parents seperated right from the beginning, could be better than having to go through the trauma of divorce and your father moving out.

Excellent points or like my people would say, GBAM.

Research has clearly shown that growing children needs a Father in the house during their formative years.
Re: A Baby Father Or A Divorced Dad: Which Is Better For The Child? by Nobody: 7:29pm On Oct 17, 2013
InvertedHammer:

/

Call them whatever....you opened those legs to invite them into your life.

Ladies choose irresponsible men and turn around to blame everyone else but themselves
for their wrong choices.

Ret@rded baby daddy? You chose a "retardeen" to procreate with? Tells a lot.

Divorced cretin? Look in the mirror my dear!
cool

/

Excellent points.

It's always funny to me whenever Women try to desribe their Ex Husbands or Fathers child as being irresponsible.

It's only shows me that they are incapababel fo making right choices.

1 Like

Re: A Baby Father Or A Divorced Dad: Which Is Better For The Child? by chineloSA(f): 8:45pm On Oct 17, 2013
Nothing is better.

The fact of the matter is both parents attention is divided. The father is likely going to move on and have a real family, like wise the mother may move on and have a partner.

In the event where the father moves on to have new family, his attention gets divided as he focuses on the new real family. So the child will feel like an extra piece. In the event where the mother moves on, same thing as well.

So the child can never have
1. Sense of belonging and sense of family pride.
2. A real family sad sad sad

So all have negative repercussions on the child. When deciding to have child out of wedlock, one should think of the childs future. Psychologically they get seriously affected.

Alot of academic studies have shown that children from broken families and single parent families will likely have
1. Conduct issues
2. Poor academic perfomance
3. Low self-esteem
4. Depression, Obsessive Compulsive disorder & Seperation problems etc ( resulting from self blame, rejection and not quiete fitting in )
5. Self gratification behaviors ( alcohol/ drug abuse abuse, early sexual engagements, early child bearing, risk of HIV/ AIDS, etc )

Personally, I love my kids before I know them, so I would rather not have them at all, than making disastrous choices for them.

So I keep my eggs until kingdom comes cheesy cheesy.
Pity that would prevent me from passing on my wonderful genes grin grin grin
Re: A Baby Father Or A Divorced Dad: Which Is Better For The Child? by Wahala90: 10:10pm On Oct 17, 2013
When a woman say things like "I am not into that marriage thing", make you know say she no get marriage quality and no bobo dey gree talk go marriage for her side. She go kuku just dey console herself say she no kuku dey marriage matter before.

1 Like

Re: A Baby Father Or A Divorced Dad: Which Is Better For The Child? by chineloSA(f): 10:28pm On Oct 17, 2013
Nothing is better
Re: A Baby Father Or A Divorced Dad: Which Is Better For The Child? by voodoogangster(m): 10:41pm On Oct 17, 2013
Carefreewanabe, i have read your view and im really impressed with your wisdom and ability to reason beyond general assumptions, I speak from experience as I have four kids, from three women whom and since the foundation of marriage couldnt hold us together I and them have become close friends and my kids ave adored and respected me and their mothers are the most wonderfull women ive ever been blessed to call my best friends which is hard to come across since their all nigerian women wink anyway its better a child grows up with separated happy parents than ones that live together in continious fights.
Re: A Baby Father Or A Divorced Dad: Which Is Better For The Child? by tintingz(m): 11:06pm On Oct 17, 2013
^^Really, separated happy parents? Even 2face impregnated almost 4 women but still he settled down with Annie. Kids should be brought up with both happy parents in the house not separated happy whatever.
Re: A Baby Father Or A Divorced Dad: Which Is Better For The Child? by Sagamite(m): 11:13pm On Oct 17, 2013
tintingz: ^^Really, separated happy parents? Even 2face impregnated almost 4 women but still he settled down with Annie. Kids should be brought up with both happy parents in the house not separated happy whatever.

And what if they parents are not happy together in the house?
Re: A Baby Father Or A Divorced Dad: Which Is Better For The Child? by badmeat(m): 11:55pm On Oct 17, 2013
I am a strong and hard working Niger delta man!my woman takes. Care of all my kids,grin
Re: A Baby Father Or A Divorced Dad: Which Is Better For The Child? by zeelo2014: 12:05am On Oct 18, 2013
carefreewannabe:

I never use this word because it is an insult to INNOCENT children. It doesn't exist in my dictionary!
How is it an insult? The English dictionary defines a bastard as a child born through an illegitimate union. Its no insult,its calling a spade a spade, & its no fault of the child.
Re: A Baby Father Or A Divorced Dad: Which Is Better For The Child? by tintingz(m): 5:30am On Oct 18, 2013
Sagamite:

And what if they parents are not happy together in the house?
They should both try and work things out to make a happy home, then if it doesn't work out they should happily divorce. The way voodoo said it is as if separated parent is the best for kids but NO it is not...just read chineloSA post above how it has many effect on these kids.

Maybe in the future having children out of wedlock will become a norm in our society where marriage will not seems to exist anymore. undecided
Re: A Baby Father Or A Divorced Dad: Which Is Better For The Child? by tintingz(m): 5:51am On Oct 18, 2013
zeelo2014:
How is it an insult? The English dictionary defines a bastard as a child born through an illegitimate union. Its no insult,its calling a spade a spade, & its no fault of the child.
Exactly, many of this children that are brought up with single parenthood are NOT home trained, they lack self-respect especially a child that was brought up only by his/her mother because women are too emotional/weak to discipline a child.

I have many friends that were brought up by their mother only, they sleep around, drink, smoke, party hard etc all in the name of freedom, this children will feel it is a normal thing to be a single parenthood by given birth to "bastards" with no home training and self-respect.

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