I've been dating this girl for sometime now and truth be told I love her so much. She has all †ђξ qualities i want But she is a bit "large"

When I met her she was a bit "large", I looked past it, but as the relationship went on, I began hinting her that she needs to loose weight.
When she continued to get larger, I straight out told her she needed to loose weight, and she didn't take it so well. She seriously got offended.
That my words insinuated that I was kinda cheating or about to cheat on her.

Truth is she has little or no motivation to eat healthy or exercise. I'm quite skinny and like to be active, spend time out doors, hang out with good looking girls.

I've opened my heart to this woman. I'm willing to give her my time, my heart, my love but my patience is running out.
Is it wrong for me to have asked her and want her to "diet and exercise' or do whatever she has to do to look good for me

(Pls how will you advice my friend cos me ℓ̊ no knw wetin to tell am ooo cos he saw †ђξ babe b4 he asked her out)
†ђξ girl is also my friend and honestly she eats a lot of junk... Beautiful by all standard except for her "overflapped" tommy...

Nothing wrong with asking her to lose weight out of love and concern for her health and your happiness.
BUT YOU CANNOT KEEP NAGGING HER ABOUT IT OR PUTTING HER DOWN!

Sometimes, the weight issue is a metabolic disorder. . . or genetic predisposition.

It is either you love her THE WAY SHE IS or you leave.
No need messing with her self-esteem.
After all, SHE STILL HAS THE SAME QUALITIES YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH.

Is that the way you want to be treated WHEN YOU CHANGE? Or do you think you are STILL THE SAME IN HER EYES?

Have YOU looked in the mirror lately? Or is it because SHE IS NOT AS VOCAL as you are?

If you have seen another 'LEPA' to 'tickle' your 'ego' out there. . .please say so and stop LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO MAKE MISERABLE with all your complaints!

She has every right to be upset. I would be too.

Mai pride: I've been dating this girl for sometime now and truth be told I love her so much. (1) She has all †ђξ qualities i want But she is a bit "large".

(2) When I met her she was a bit "large", I looked past it, but as the relationship went on, I began hinting her that she needs to loose weight.

When she continued to get larger, I straight out told her she needed to loose weight, and she didn't take it so well. She seriously got offended.
(3) That my words insinuated that I was kinda cheating or about to cheat on her.

Truth is she has little or no motivation to eat healthy or exercise. I'm quite skinny and like to be active, (4)spend time out doors, hang out with good looking girls.

I've opened my heart to this woman. I'm willing to give her my time, my heart, my love but my patience is running out.
(5)Is it wrong for me to have asked her and want her to "diet and exercise' or do whatever she has to do to look good for me?

(Pls how will you advice my friend cos me ℓ̊ no knw wetin to tell am ooo cos he sha see †ђξ babe b4 he asked her out)
†ђξ girl is also my friend and honestly she eats a lot of junk... Beautiful by all standard except for her "overflapped" tommy...

@bolded (1) when you say all, it simply means that you r satisfied with her by lyk 75%+, yes? The only minus here is that she is a 'bit large'.

@bolded (2) Its obvious that you had a fault here coz the saying goes 'Look before you leap' but you didn't do that, so backing out now wud seem like betrayal.

bolded 3 is because you r guilty of bolded (4). Now mind you that plenty of 'good looking girls' have terrible behaviors n if you leave ur current girl, you may end up regretting it.

@bolded (5) No it isn't wrong but the method used cud make it seem wrong.

In summary, putting into mind that Nobody is perfect, I'll advise that you keep her and find a loving way to make her understand your points. You r a guy, so use ur initiative n set up a romantic atmosphere for her, make her feel comfortable n loved n make her realize all those good qualities that she has. Make her realize how you want her to be more active n how exercising is profitable for the body n how you will(must) be ready to exercise along with her.(note that this wud add a bit of fun to the relationship too since it wud be something the two of you wud be doing 2geda).
Finally, if truly you love her n you r in love with her then let the qualities of love(patience, understanding, perseverance etc) radiate from within you towards her n I'm sure convincing her won't be so hard unless of coz she isn't what you just described.
May God guide you.

It isn't wrong that you asked...but it's... I don't know, weird because you started dating even though she was "not skinny" then. That kinda means you accepted her baggage.
I don't know how you told her about it. But you need to calm. Tell her about the health risks and how you feel about her weight. Don't even remotely mention other girls while having this talk with her. Then ask her how she feels about her weight. Does she like it? You might have to suck it up.
But instead cheating on her, just break up with her.

Note, yu saw her liked her and should appreciate every of her looks and body. One thing is that she must pick an offence not knowing you are helping her for her future. One thing now remains that this relationship cannot work out because already the man cannot stand her weight and the best thing is to allow her be. Already the man knows that he doesn't like the heavy type and should just desolve the relationship since no marriage

Note, yu saw her liked her and should appreciate every of her looks and body. One thing is that she must pick an offence not knowing you are helping her for her future. One thing now remains that this relationship cannot work out because already the man cannot stand her weight and the best thing is to allow her be. Already the man knows that he doesn't like the heavy type and should just desolve the relationship since no marriage yet.

First step: if this babe is multiplied by 2(which is a possibility after childbirth and all what), can u still see urself sticking to her and her alone

If NO, free d babe!
If YES, then, tell her u love her and even if she multiplies by 10, u'll still love her and u ain't going anywhere! However, nothing bad if she tries to cut it down for u.

She's just scared of losing u or u cheating on her, dat's all!
Every lady wants to remain attractive for the man she loves!

Are U gay?

OmolodMilkman93: Are U gay?

She is posting on behalf of a male friend who asked her opinion.

Y don't u help out by exercising with her

Kanwulia: Nothing wrong with asking her to lose weight out of love and concern for her health and your happiness.
BUT YOU CANNOT KEEP NAGGING HER ABOUT IT OR PUTTING HER DOWN!

Sometimes, the weight issue is a metabolic disorder. . . or genetic predisposition.

It is either you love her THE WAY SHE IS or you leave.
No need messing with her self-esteem.
After all, SHE STILL HAS THE SAME QUALITIES YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH.

Is that the way you want to be treated WHEN YOU CHANGE? Or do you think you are STILL THE SAME IN HER EYES?

Have YOU looked in the mirror lately? Or is it because SHE IS NOT AS VOCAL as you are?

If you have seen another 'LEPA' to 'tickle' your 'ego' out there. . .please say so and stop LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO MAKE MISERABLE with all your complaints!

She has every right to be upset. I would.

gbam! Thats all

If my boyfriend asks me to lose weight, and I eventually do, he's going to have to find another girlfriend lol.

devafire:
If my boyfriend asks me to lose weight, and I eventually do, he's going to have to find another girlfriend lol.

Why?

bukatyne:


Why?

I dunno if I'll be comfortable with someone who doesn't like me twiam.

You better tell the guy he has to re-format his brain and start seeing fat people as beautiful.
This girlfriend of yours will not lose weight and if she does,she will probably pick it up again especially with childbirth.
She has a lifestyle of eating junk and no drive for fitness.It's not something that will just change except she has a personal conviction to.
You saw her like that and asked her out.You better suck it up or leave her.

devafire:


I dunno if I'll be comfortable with someone who doesn't like me twiam.

There's nothing wrong with asking someone to change something that can be changed like she'd weight, hairstyle etc.You will probably not be comfortable with someone who makes a remark about your appearance.

thorpido:
There's nothing wrong with asking someone to change something that can be changed like she'd weight, hairstyle etc.You will probably not be comfortable with someone who makes a remark about your appearance.

You feel there's nothing wrong with it?
I think there's something wrong with it..

Different people, different brands of coffee.


But as long as I'm healthy, I wonder why someone who claims to love me will ask me to put off some weight, or change my hairstyle when there's nothing wrong with it. They are common signs of a possessive partner.

devafire:



You feel there's nothing wrong with it?
I think there's something wrong with it..

Different people, different brands of coffee.


But as long as I'm healthy, I wonder why someone who claims to love me will ask me to put off some weight, or change my hairstyle when there's nothing wrong with it. They are common signs of a possessive partner.

New age philosophy.

Just ditch the labels and numbo jumbo and speak to what actually affects you.

If your partner is not invested in you enough to tell you to change your looks as long as it does not cause harm, who will?

Maipride:

(Pls how will you advice my friend cos me ℓ̊ no knw wetin to tell am ooo cos he saw †ђξ babe b4 he asked her out)
†ђξ girl is also my friend and honestly she eats a lot of junk... Beautiful by all standard except for her "overflapped" tommy...

Pls tell her..

I don't av anytin for fat ladies

Wat is dis tin abt fat girls me wey slim i wan fat



btw,shey d guy no kno say d girl fat b4 he go toast am or he forgot is glasses wen e was askin her out.

I don't see anything wrong in this, and it's surely not a sign of being a possessive partner as someone mentioned here.

I'd say, it's just helping your partner maintain or get into shape (which has got good and mutual benefits for both of you). More so, it's almost same as tweaking or fine tuning your transistor radio to the exact (or best) frequency for audible hearing (devoid of noise or air breaking sounds), and that's so not bad for either you or the radio, I mean.

Albeit, you must use wisdom when conveying the idea (or suggestion) neither appearing mean nor threatening, and same time calm and really patient with her.

So C'mon, hurry now go talk and prolly bring the best out from your lady!

merieam16:
Wat is dis tin abt fat girls me wey slim i wan fat



btw,shey d guy no kno say d girl fat b4 he go toast am or he forgot is glasses wen e was askin her out.

the day i notice u are getting, i wil stop quoting u, unfollow u...stop giving u money...infact no more love in the dark room

Ugaboy:
the day i notice u are getting, i wil stop quoting u, unfollow u...stop giving u money...infact no more love in the dark room

hahahaa guy u no well o

merieam16:
hahahaa guy u no well o

...Just get fat ok, all those guys wey they chewgun u, go change your name on their contact to "fibroid girl". I know what im say

Ugaboy:
...Just get fat ok, all those guys wey they chewgun u, go change your name on their contact to "fibroid girl". I know what im say

lol. okay o am nt getting fat again

thorpido:
There's nothing wrong with asking someone to change something that can be changed like she'd weight, hairstyle etc.You will probably not be comfortable with someone who makes a remark about your appearance.

Can it be changed in a few seconds? He doesn't have to nag her about it, that alone hints that he's tryna protect his image. Let him run along to a slim lady and love her.

bukatyne:


New age philosophy.

Just ditch the labels and numbo jumbo and speak to what actually affects you.

If your partner is not invested in you enough to tell you to change your looks as long as it does not cause harm, who will?

Loll new age? Well you'd better come out of the old age if it's going to affect you negatively. How can you read that story up there and still think it's okay for him to do that? He's obviously not into fat girls so let him find his slim princess. How can you love someone and want to change them by nagging and complaining?

Listen girl, life is too short to waste time on a nigga who cannot admire your feminine beauty in all it's glory! Slim, Plumpy, Tall, Short, however, find a guy that wants you like that.

devafire:


Can it be changed in a few seconds? He doesn't have to nag her about it, that alone hints that he's tryna protect his image. Let him run along to a slim lady and love her.

It's obvious from the Op's write-up that he had mentioned it severally over time.
There's nothing wrong with changing some things that can be changed especially when it's a compromise you make for someone you love.

He's skinny but went ahead to carry load bigger than him lol.Let her be or simply look for your size

thorpido:
It's obvious from the Op's write-up that he had mentioned it severally over time.
There's nothing wrong with changing some things that can be changed especially when it's a compromise you make for someone you love.

Well like I said earlier, I don't drink your brand of coffee. I really do believe love is spontaneous. You don't plan it by thinking "I'm willing to do everything for her if she can change this part of herself" you don't even know how she feels about that part of her that she hasn't been able to change all this while. This is my opinion, you don't have to agree.