Good afternoon my fellow Nairalanders. Please is it right for one's mother-in-law to demand money from you and also tell you the amount of money you must send to her. Even why trying to explain to her you are rich, she still insist on you sending the money via the tone of her response when trying to explain your situation to her? Please is this right?

Nonsense!!!!!!

FIRST tell her to ask her son about such things.... SECOND if you are going to decide to give her something, it will be what YOU decide to give her out of your good heart, and not the way around.

@OP, it is well, i will suggest u tell ur hubby all dt his mother said, agree on wot to send to her and do wot u can afford, not to go into borrowing just becos u want to satisfy her.

Excellent2010: Good afternoon my fellow Nairalanders. Please is it right for one's mother-in-law to demand money from you and also tell you the amount of money you must send to her. Even why trying to explain to her you are rich, she still insist on you sending the money via the tone of her response when trying to explain your situation to her? Please is this right?

your MIL needs deliverance...
she should ask her own children to send her money.

Some women no get shame sha . . . how will a MIL disturb her own DIL for money. Tufiakwa!

Excellent2010: Good afternoon my fellow Nairalanders. Please is it right for one's mother-in-law to demand money from you and also tell you the amount of money you must send to her. Even why trying to explain to her you are rich, she still insist on you sending the money via the tone of her response when trying to explain your situation to her? Please is this right?

This is totally wrong for her.
Why not tell your husband about it and let him handle it in the best way possible.
Meanwhile, you may decide to oblige her since you said you are rich enough...but let your husband know first.

Tell her you give all your money to your husband her son

And he controls the family finances since he is the head of the house

Do you make more money than her son?

Did you just buy a new car or something big that she noticed believing big money has come?

Whatever, tell her your husband will fulfill her request as he is the one in charge of your finances...

I am finding this hard to believe. I think she should say exactly how the conversation went. There's more to it

wow, and people just abuse ministers anyhow, see the number of agony aunt threads which surface daily on nl alone?

me sef i can only handle one or two per day, imagine being bombarded with these endless topics all the time?

and una dey say ministers must not have anything in their lives as a well deserved rest after playing atlas?

As much as such nonsense is unjustifiable under heaven and earth,i want to beleieve there is more to this story.by the way have you told your husband about it? Let me hear from the other party.



Which inlaw that respects herself will do such or is she a poor old single mom,is she an illiterate or just an ebina

Anytime i see threads like this, i just thank God for the type of MIL God blesses me with, i dont know why God love me so much, such that He surrounds me with wonderful people with beautiful hearts.

As for giving her money, she will complain and complain that she's comfortable with her pension and that we need money to raise and train our kids, that her pension is sufficient for her, that she prefers us to be looking beautiful with our money to giving her money, and she is just a retired teacher o, this is such a person that open account for my kids o, for almost 10 years now, we've never had a single disagreement, except the day i flared up for over-pampering me.

@op, i dont know what i can say, because i've never been in your shoe, but i believe that posters above me have talked well and have really helped you out of your situation with your MIL.






God please, i dont want to lose my MIL now, God pleeeeeeeeeease.

greatgod2012: Anytime i see threads like this, i just thank God for the type of MIL God blesses me with, i dont know why God love me so much, such that He surrounds me with wonderful people with beautiful hearts.

As for giving her money, she will complain and complain that she's comfortable with her pension and that we need money to raise and train our kids, that her pension is sufficient for her, that she prefers us to be looking beautiful with our money to giving her money, and she is just a retired teacher o, this is such a person that open account for my kids o, for almost 10 years now, we've never had a single disagreement, except the day i flared up for over-pampering me.

@op, i dont know what i can say, because i've never been in your shoe, but i believe that posters above me have talked well and have really helped you out of your situation with your MIL.






God please, i dont want to lose my MIL now, God pleeeeeeeeeease.

you will not loose her o and please stop calling her your mother inlaw,she is not your mother in law,she is your 2nd mom.



Anytime i see mother inlaw thread on nairaland,without opening it,i know its bad news,but mothers are not mother inlaws,they are mothers,therefore she is your mother first,your husbands biological mother and your childrens grand mom.




Honestly,its people like you that make marriage look good.if we can see people like you all over the thread with happy stories and not my brother inlaw slapped me,my husband is carrying 18 year olds,my mother inlaw is a witch from the pit of hell etc,nairaland will be a better place and consequently nigerian marriages.



Yesterday,the clerk wasnt around to go and dispatch some letters,so i did a little clerical work yesterday and while waiting for his other colleague to photocopy some documents,one smallie,young girl of 20 years who just started working with us came to me.aunty shewa.mr james told me you are here,i said ok,can i help you and she handed a wedding i.v to me that she is getting married this december.i smiled and said congrats.this is a girl that when my immediate oga said she should go to the market and buy turkey,i dont know how she managed to buy spoilt turkey,i dont know whether she cant identify it or something.the whole place was smelling and now she wants to marry. After she left,the boy who was there while they were doing the photocopy said 'omo yi o mo meme' i said kilo kan e.koju si ise tan gba e si.when i got back to my office i started thinking because honestly i am afraid on her behalf.the babe i am seeing to me does not look mature for marriage because any small stress,she will start crying.in my mind,i just prayed,she will marry someone that will be understanding other wise,she will enter the popular bus of 1 chance where the passengers cant come out again.

greatgod2012: Anytime i see threads like this, i just thank God for the type of MIL God blesses me with, i dont know why God love me so much, such that He surrounds me with wonderful people with beautiful hearts.

As for giving her money, she will complain and complain that she's comfortable with her pension and that we need money to raise and train our kids, that her pension is sufficient for her, that she prefers us to be looking beautiful with our money to giving her money, and she is just a retired teacher o, this is such a person that open account for my kids o, for almost 10 years now, we've never had a single disagreement, except the day i flared up for over-pampering me.

@op, i dont know what i can say, because i've never been in your shoe, but i believe that posters above me have talked well and have really helped you out of your situation with your MIL.






God please, i dont want to lose my MIL now, God pleeeeeeeeeease.

you will not loose her o and please stop calling her your mother inlaw,she is not your mother in law,she is your 2nd mom.



Anytime i see mother inlaw thread on nairaland,without opening it,i know its bad news,but mothers are not mother inlaws,they are mothers,therefore she is your mother first,your husbands biological mother and your childrens grand mom.




Honestly,its people like you that make marriage look good.if we can see people like you all over the thread with happy stories and not my brother inlaw slapped me,my husband is carrying 18 year olds,my mother inlaw is a witch from the pit of hell etc,nairaland will be a better place and consequently nigerian marriages.



Yesterday,the clerk wasnt around to go and dispatch some letters,so i did a little clerical work yesterday and while waiting for his other colleague to photocopy some documents,one smallie,young girl of 20 years who just started working with us came to me.aunty shewa.mr james told me you are here,i said ok,can i help you and she handed a wedding i.v to me that she is getting married this december.i smiled and said congrats.this is a girl that when my immediate oga said she should go to the market and buy turkey,i dont know how she managed to buy spoilt turkey,i dont know whether she cant identify it or something.the whole place was smelling and now she wants to marry. After she left,the boy who was there while they were doing the photocopy said 'omo yi o mo meme' i said kilo kan e.koju si ise tan gba e si.when i got back to my office i started thinking because honestly i am afraid on her behalf.the babe i am seeing to me does not look mature for marriage because any small stress,she will start crying.in my mind,i just prayed,she will marry someone that will be understanding other wise,she will enter the popular bus of 1 chance where the passengers cant come out again.

As much as such nonsense is unjustifiable under heaven and earth,i want to beleieve there is more to this story.by the way have you told your husband about it? Let me hear from the other party.



Which inlaw that respects herself will do such or is she a poor old single mom,is she an illiterate or just an ebina

I told my hubby about it and he said I should give the money to her even the exact she asked for

Do you make more money than her son?

Did you just buy a new car or something big that she noticed believing big money has come?

Whatever, tell her your husband will fulfill her request as he is the one in charge of your finances

I didn't make money more than her son, his salary is more dan mine ooo. I didn't buy car not even increment in my salary yet besides his son insist I must give her the money because she will refund it. What if she didn't refund it?

[quote author=Baba Oyo]

This is totally wrong for her.
Why not tell your husband about it and let him handle it in the best way possible.
Meanwhile, you may decide to oblige her since you said you are rich enough...but let your husband know first.

By being rich, I mean am not boxed up. As for my hubby, I told him about it and his response was to give her the money because she will refund it. Can you imagine.

[quote author=Excellent2010][/quote]
Some husbands sha......how can he tell you to give her what she demanded for and that she'll refund it later. how does one even collect money back from her mother in law? My dear, if you know you are capable, then i'll advice you just give her. If you know you can't, give the little you know you have. If she collects it, fine and good. If she doesn't, then it's her own cup of tea.

Then give the money to your husband and let him give her.

When you want it back its him you would hold

@ op in that case,i suggest you give her what you have directly.if you cant afford it dont go out of your way.just give her.meanwhile,talk to your mom or dad about it.if possible,when you talk to your mom,you people should both go and visit her when your father inlaw is around.give her the money,not borrow and beg her that you stressed yourself to get it.you dont have any more money.the little you have,you are using it to take care of your kids.trust me embarassment will kill her,she wont try it again



by the way,i dont know about you o,but i will rather give than borrow.borrowing destroys relationships because when its time for the borrower to collect her money,thats when the borrowee will turn it into fight.so i dont BORROW any one money,ill rather GIVE if its within my means and not expect it back.my friends have known i dont borrow,if you come to me that you want to borrow,say for example 2ok and i want to use the money,i will say i dont have,but shey you will drink fanta.but if you say give me,thats a different ball game.


So i suggest you give her and forget about getting it back with a warning that she shouldnt ask again albeit in a diplomatic and respectful way

@ op in that case,i suggest you give her what you have directly.if you cant afford it dont go out of your way.just give her.meanwhile,talk to your mom or dad about it.if possible,when you talk to your mom,you people should both go and visit her when your father inlaw is around.give her the money,not borrow and beg her that you stressed yourself to get it.you dont have any more money.the little you have,you are using it to take care of your kids.trust me embarassment will kill her,she wont try it again



by the way,i dont know about you o,but i will rather give than borrow.borrowing destroys relationships because when its time for the borrower to collect her money,thats when the borrowee will turn it into fight.so i dont BORROW any one money,ill rather GIVE if its within my means and not expect it back.my friends have known i dont borrow,if you come to me that you want to borrow,say for example 2ok and i want to use the money,i will say i dont have,but shey you will drink fanta.but if you say give me,thats a different ball game.


So i suggest you give her and forget about getting it back with a warning that she shouldnt ask again albeit in a diplomatic and respectful way

dayokanu: Then give the money to your husband and let him give her.

When you want it back its him you would hold

story.



It will cause friction,the man might not want to give her back.he can say so you cant give your mother in law money again abi? What are you feeling like

@Kulyie
one good point about borrowing is that, the person cannot come back and ask for more (unless they have repaid you the loan). so borrowing is a sure way of keeping that person away for good. how can someone who owes you money ask to borrow more?! impossible!

It's unacceptable. I hope you find support from your husband, although I am aware of others who found no such solace. Be strong and take control.

First and formost, I thank God for the type of MIL he gave me, she doesn't ask me for such things neither does she stress me in anyway. In fact when ever she is around, I'm sure to get enough rest.

As for your MIL, I would advice you not to give her the money, be it borrow or dash. The point is that if you give in to her demands, she would come and ask you for a larger amount ( for your information, that is the typical behaviour of all human being).

Inform your hubby that you are broke and also act the part, I'm sure he would be the one who would tell his mother to stop disturbing you.

I wish you all the best in handling the issue.

MRbrownJAY: @Kulyie
one good point about borrowing is that, the person cannot come back and ask for more (unless they have repaid you the loan). so borrowing is a sure way of keeping that person away for good. how can someone who owes you money ask to borrow more?! impossible!

You never jam some extremely stubborn and selfish people. Despite not paying the last one borrowed, they will still have the boldness to ask you for another thinking you will be fooled. Such people usually have heaven-moving emotional stories for the weak hearted.

dayokanu: Then give the money to your husband and let him give her.

When you want it back its him you would hold

Spot on!!!!

Excellent2010,
Please anything involving your MIL and your husband's family, let your husband handle it to save yourself from stories that touch and unnecessary head and. Heart aches.

Please I beg you, let your hubby handle his family and you handle yours.

bellong: You never jam some extremely stubborn and selfish people. Despite not paying the last one borrowed, they will still have the boldness to ask you for another thinking you will be fooled. Such people usually have heaven-moving emotional stories for the weak hearted.

unless you are moved by emotional stories, you simply say:" I am sorry, when you were in need the first time, i helped you and you didnt have the courtesy to repay me my kindness......so, i cant borrow you any money as you did not respect our first deal" (in plain and rude English:"fukc off!"

MRbrownJAY:

unless you are moved by emotional stories, you simply say:" I am sorry, when you were in need the first time, i helped you and you didnt have the courtesy to repay me my kindness......so, i cant borrow you any money as you did not respect our first deal" (in plain and rude English:"fukc off!"

Sure but was only pointing out that some are heartless and will still come again to ask despite not paying the first

bellong: Sure but was only pointing out that some are heartless and will still come again to ask despite not paying the first

oh yeah, thats for sure.......... and this method will not stop them from asking, but it will surely stop YOU from giving.

what kind of rubbish mother in law is that?

ask her if the germs in her teeth has migrated to her brain

@ rigormortis, u ar very funny. Thank you all for ur kind response, I will take to all ur advice. I really appreciate you guys, may God not allow devil to use our in-laws to destroy our homes in Jesus Name.



YOU GUYS ARE WONDERFUL


Thanks you a million times.