After being in the US for about two years, I travelled to Nigeria during the summer of 2005. I didn't think that I would have changed much, but I was in fact surprised to discover how much I had actually changed. Other than the seemingly unbearable heat which descended on my like a plague once I stepped out of the plane (as if I was not born and bred in Naija) two funny experiences stand out.

One morning, I went to a nearby store to try to buy some breakfast. I greeted the storekeeper and asked, "do you have any cereal?" The man looked at me a little strangely and I repeated the question "do you have any cereal?" Then his expression changed revealing a comprehending look, as though a light bulb had been turned up in his head. "Oh yes, we have cereal, what type do you want? Nutrend, SMA, Cerelac?" My younger brother who had accompanied me to the store burst out laughing. He then told me "bros. we no dey call am cereal for here, just ask him if he has cornflakes, or golden morn. Except you want to eat babyfood for breakfast." The poor storekeeper was aloof, asking my little brother, "why you dey laugh now?" I felt embarrassed for the man, and I must confess, a little embarrassed for myself too. I didn't realize how much I had changed!

The second experience was at tantalizers where I asked for a plate of rice and a side of doughnut. The girl serving looked strangely at me "what?" I almost repeated my self, "a side of, " and then realized that I was not in America. At that moment I found my Naija self and just asked for "rice and one doughnut, "

What were some of your funny experiences on returning home to Naija after so long? Did you try to wait for the traffic light to cross the road? Look for a dustbin to throw you trash in along the roadside? or try to get on a public bus but had lost your rushing skills?

Lets share

mine is alot but i shall be back 2 say some because am off 2 a meeting now, there is a thread like diz already though

@alarinjo, i can totally relate to the heat aspect. this one happened sometime in 2003. i went home sometime in february which is in the core of the winter. As i stepped out of the plane in nigeria, the type of heat that i felt literally felt like a sting. it covered my entire face like a seed weed. honestly at that point, i felt like sneaking back into the plane and returning to the states.

Eastcoast, in fact, it is not just the heat, but the heat coupled with no NEPA. And of course no NEPA means endless mosquitoes. For several days I couldnt sleep. After a while though I adjusted. Overall I enjoyed my trip to Naija. I am eager to go back again soon

Damn, hotstepper, ure a cute babe! So are u really a hotstepper? Eastcoast, thats a nice painting. If its anything close to the way u really look, then, u only go to prove that naija girls are da bomb!

When do you plan on going back man, i inted on going maybe next year, but i might wait untill 2008 after the dust settles from the effects of the election
I can't wait to go back man, Unfortunately when i went i got sick from malaria and the first month was de hardest,
But after climatizing i loved it, infact during the end of it i did not want to leave man !

@Josboy, Exactly the same way I felt. Although I didnt come down with malaria because I was beefing up my system with anti-malaria meds.  When I will go back again? Hmm it all depends on money o. If Ican save enough I am thinking of this Christmas. But I agree with you, I don't want to be there during the elections or even shortly after it. I know things are going to be bloody. If I can't make it this christmas, I'll prolly go toward the end of 2007, what all did you do in Naija? Did you have any funny re-assimilation experiences?

The language. I remember when i went i would be correcting people grammitcally and shit
but after a while my pigin was even greater then some of theirs, i miss Naija 4 rilla

Haha! So true, dont know about Canada, but in America u tend to get caught up in the habit of rolling ur r's can sound silly when conversing with other Naija's!

very much so, even here in Ca, rrrrrrrrrrrroooollll the rim to win, hehe i remember when my grandfather came and he tried to say that,
It was a Tim hortons, ad commercial I almost died

Hahaha, I can imagine. Sometimes I just drop the r's altogether, and tell my American friends to live with the British pronounciation. But most of the time, it is just contagious

@alarinjo, 10x for the compliment

to the topic, when i went in 2004 xmas, i was totally lost with wat is going on as in not being able 2 speak or understand broken english, they sold me completely.

Another one was that when i speak (not dat ma accent is westernized oooo), ppl immediately turn back and ask me if am a Nigerian and cuz of ma looks made it worst cuz even here in Canda both Nigerians sef hardly believe am a Nigerian, In lagos, I was known as the white gurl and at enugu as a yellow gurl

When they speak english and i reply in igbo thinking they did start speaking igbo as well but no way and their english is so hilarious cuz itz like they r forcing it with alot of dem tryna form

Abeg, they r many dat a tired of typing, lol

Sounds hilarious. You never answered the question as to whether u are really a hotstepper,

ahhaha, don't know how 2 dance, da worst u will eva meet. I was given da name by senior gurls in ma skool as they said i gat long straight legs and alwayz feeling but 4 dancing, datz wat i don't know how 2 do and don't as well

maybe we did say itz a slang and diff. meaning

well at least u got the hot legs, thats the most important part

notanymore, lagos mostiquo did some work dere and being very light skinned,u can den imagine, its all good,

by da way, i was 2 come 2 ur end last weekend but had sum engagements so ma brodas left without me

That sucks. You should go see ur dermatologist to help u get rid of the mosquito scars. What part of the states where u going to visit?

Pittsburgh

interesting, make sure u come next time.

Hmmm, since i came, i havent gone back. But i doubt if anything will change. I can still speak my hausa, yoruba, and pidgin.

Well when i travel back to naija, i'll see if anything'll change.

i am sees that alarinjo and hot steppers are scoped themselves, wats do naija ave to does with her names, back to the topic, i ave no gone away from naija, but i knows if i leave, my english would be gooder, and i can blasted it for them sin my village

@HA i can guarantee that when you get home, you would be in complete shock at how much you have changed. starting from you pronounciation not even accent, to the way you construct your sentences. and by the time people finish treating you like a queen from heaven, it will enter your head and you will be adding more and more to your americana.

@ Moladun, dont you worry about your Englshes. Insfacts, the thickers your accents, the sexiers peeps will find yous.

Got on a bus danfo between Allen and Maryland Lagos the crew turned out to be armed robbers took me and other passangers to Ojuelegba. took £500 I had from me and kindly hailed a cab for me and paid for it to take me home, the nicest armed robbers you'll ever meet! sweet people. True story.

My Uncle who has a German passport was to travel to Nigeria on short notice,due to the sudden death of his Father

He went to the Nigerian Embassy in Berlin but couldnt get a Visa for Nigeria,cuz the waiting list was too long
He decided to travel home without the Visa in order to attend the funeral

When he got to MMIA , the immigration officer asked where he was from and he replied that he was from 9ja
this got the man(officer) mad, he told him u cant be a Nigerian cuz u carry a German Passport and u MUST have
a Visa to enter Naija, so my Unc pleads with this im 9ja Bros and the next thing the Man says is that

"Look here u dis Germanii if u dont take ur time I will Deport u back 2 Germany"

This Cracked up my Uncle!

anyway as per 9ja 4 shizzle dem settle the Deportation Wahala in Camera!

@ Shagari

Sad story! I guess in Nigeria, the most important thing is to get out alive, glad you did! You know what they say about Nigerians being able to smell someone who is visiting from from abroad from a mile, from my experiences, I am inclined to believe it. Has that experience affected you in anyway though in terms of future trips to Naija? Having experienced what you did, do you plan to visit again in the future?

@Gunner

I would say your uncle was quite daring, but again, he probably went home knowing full well that in Naija, anything can happen. The thought of being "deported" to Germany is so hilarious. I would have prolly responded: "with all pleasure!"

No, been back since, just didn't get on a bus!

I hear u! When I was in Nigeria last summer, it was drop all the way! Well, except once. My white colleague who visited Naija with me wanted to experience what it was like to jump danfo. After the typical Lagos struggle he ended up on the bus without any bruises, but before I could get on, the bus zoomed off! It took a lot of shouting and chaos to make the bus stop again before I could get on. I guess I had lost my rushing skills! LOL.

If you have been out of Nigeria for a long time and come back to Nigeria, you would realise that the whole country looks either like a slum or a village. No offence but its the truth.

If you have been out of Nigeria for a long time and come back to Nigeria, you would realise that the whole country looks either like a slum or a village. No offence but its the truth.

My exact thoughts when I landed in Naija for the first time after three years of being away. Lagos is ONE BIG SLUM, hmmm, I am not sure the same is true for Abuja.

alarinjo you are funny how you go chop rice with donut on the side

@Zebudaya

Hehehe, you really got me laughing at myself there.

No be my fault my broda, na condition make crayfish back bend. You'd be surprised the things you will get used to eating when you have to live here in the US for a long time. When you don look up and down for correct iyan with egusi soup and goat meat no find am, you go dey begin chop rice without soup sef!