Every child would love to enjoy
access to both parents anytime they
want. We do know of the important
role parents play in our lives. As
parents ourselves, we are being
shown every day the importance of
our presence in our children’s lives.
This is however not the case with
some children out there. I had a chat
with Siphesihle, a young girl of 20,
who unfortunately does not have
access to her father because she is
the secret love child . Her father is
married and had an extramarital
affair with her mother and she was
the product of that affair. We have
read of high profile men with secret
love children; think of Arnold
Schwarzenegger , Jesse Jackson
and many others and the hurt that
goes with this. In the past we spoke
to women who are taking care of
mistress’s children now we’ll hear
how a child born out of such a
relationship feels.
The secret love child. How do you
feel about that label?
I am a 20-year-old woman and I lead
a normal life like any other person my
age; I have big dreams about the
future and believe that I am normal. I
would not want to associate myself
with such a label but then for the
purposes of this interview I will touch
on how I was conceived which
touches on the label.
So how did you get to know about
being a secret love child?
Growing up I used to see my father
from time to time but soon realized
that our meetings with him were
short. My mother and I met with him
in secluded areas but since I was
young I did not make anything out of
it I was happy with the gifts he
brought me but the meetings
stopped. When I got older I started
asking questions; I wanted to see
more of him and my mother
explained to me that I could not.
What did she tell you about him?
She told me that my father had his
own family and I was not allowed to
go to his house. This of course made
me ask more questions and one day
she called me into a room and
explained what had happened
between her and my father. I also
noticed that my father had been
married long before I was born and
when I did the maths and took what
my mother told me it all made sense
even though I was devastated. I was
conceived while my father was
married.
How do you feel about this
situation?
I am not proud of what my mother
did and I am not happy with the
secrecy around me because I now
realize that my existence might break
a family. My father supports me
financially but that is as far as it
goes. I have not had him being
present at my birthdays, graduation
and other important milestones. I
know that the father/daughter
relationship is more than likely never
to happen because of the situation
around me. It is unfair to me but
what can I do?
Are you angry at your mother or
father?
Maybe not angry as I used to be
because I made peace with the
situation but they could have done
better where their choices are
concerned. My mother did her best in
raising me and I appreciate that but
her moment of fun with my father
has deprived me of a father. It hurts
that I have a father I cannot fully
access, his existence in my life is
through money. I would like to sit
down with him and get to know him
better have him hug me and tell me
that he loves me. His other kids get
to spend time with him, celebrate
Father’s Day with him but I cannot. I
hope that once day I can be
introduced to my siblings but I am
not sure whether they will welcome
me. It’s an uncertain situation that I
am in and one that will hurt many
people. A heavy burden to carry at
times but then again like I said the
best is to make peace with the
situation.
How are you coping?
There are days where I wish things
were different. I appreciate that my
mother explained the whole situation
to me truthfully. At least I know what
happened and right now I can only
hope that one day my existence will
be known and will not live under the
shadow of secrecy.
What advice can you give to
parents,especially those involved
in affairs?
Be responsible, know that one day
your actions may come back to haunt
your children . Think and act
wisely.

m.news24.com/Teen_13-18/development_behaviour/A-child-of-an-affair-speaks-20131101

jeffizy: Should a secret love child have to
live a life of guilt?

No she doesn't, its not her fault.

Who is really to blame?

The erring man or the woman who went ahead to tango with a married man?

Questions and more Questions!!!

It ALL THE FAULT OF THE MAN!
As usual!!!
They can NEVER KEEP THEIR BLOKOSES BETWEEN THEIR LEGS!
Thank awa gods. . . nor be deadly disease dem born!

What a legacy. . . the combination of 2 horrrny TOADS!
A SELFISH MARRIED MAN and a VERRRRRRRRY STOOPID SINGLE-DESPERADO WOMAN too IDIOTIC TO GET PREGNANT!

Why is the man living a lie? AND WHY ARE THE MOTHER AND DAUGHTER AIDING AND ABETTING THAT LIE!

I will do no such thing. . .I WOULD HAVE HAUNTED HIS NIGGERIZED AZZZE DOWN TO HIS DOOR STEP AND TOLD HIS WHOLE FAMILY!

What do I have to lose? Nothing!

Useless DONORS! TA!

Kanwulia: It ALL THE FAULT OF THE MAN!
As usual!!!
They can NEVER KEEP THEIR BLOKOSES BETWEEN THEIR LEGS!
Thank awa gods. . . nor be deadly disease dem born!

What a legacy. . . the combination of 2 horrrny TOADS!
A SELFISH MARRIED MAN and a VERRRRRRRRY STOOPID SINGLE-DESPERADO WOMAN too IDIOTIC TO GET PREGNANT!

Why is the man living a lie? AND WHY ARE THE MOTHER AND DAUGHTER AIDING AND ABETTING THAT LIE!

I will do no such thing. . .I WOULD HAVE HAUNTED HIS NIGGERIZED AZZZE DOWN TO HIS DOOR STEP AND TOLD HIS WHOLE FAMILY!

What do I have to lose? Nothing!

Useless DONORS! TA!

true.you nailed it perfectly