There are some times it feels like life is just out to simply Bleep with us till we jump off a bridge or shoot someone’s grandfather. Annoyingly, these times are like every day. No, I’m not talking about your container drowning in the high seas or walking in on your wife giving it up to Bassey, your 17 year old house boy. I’m talking about things like…

1) The two pill situation: Okay, you just finished taking a meal. The prescription on the bottle of pills you’re about to take from says one pill after every meal. You open the bottle, tilt it towards your open palm and shake it a bit.

Two pills pop out.

You tilt in the opposite direction for one to return to the bottle.

Both of them fall back in.

You heave a sigh of frustration and return to your initial motion.

Thi time, four pills happily bounce out.

Steam is now emanating from your ears and you can feal your brain begin to pulsate as you reverse the motion.

Three pills return to the bottle.

You heave a sigh of relief.

The last pill falls to the floor and rolls behind the fridge.

You go to the window, open it wide and take a leap out.



2)The everlasting line of dust: Ah, it is morning and you’ve just finished saying your prayers. Next up is to begin house chores. You pick up your broom and set to work, sweeping the entire room. After you’re done, you take the dust pan and sweep the dirt on to it, then stand up to survey the beauty of your work.

Wait, there is still a small line of dust.

You bend and use your broom to sweep it up onto the dust pan.

Ah, there we ar….

No, there is still a line of dust right there.

You are now feeling very frustrated as you bend for what has to be the one billionth time to sweep it up.

The line of dust is right there, singing halleluya for all its worth.

You use your leg to spread the dust all around, muttering darkly about the folly of dust and the evil spirits that live in dirt.



3)The pit hole conundrum: You are standing in front of the mirror, telling yourself how wonderful you are and what a blessing God has made you to the eyes of all the females around. You are just about moving into giving yourself that speech about how perfect you are when you notice a small flaw.

The small forest under your armpits.

Moving swiftly, you grab a disposable shaving stick and set to work, with the help of a mirror, clearing the offending undergrowth. After ten minutes of effusive work, you rinse of and examine your progress. It is all gone…..except one tiny patch right at the center of the pits.

You lather up again, taking care to send the shaving stick as far down as it gets without carving your armpit up into meat for sale. You rinse off again.

The jungle still exists, like a small island in the clear area of your armpits.

You’re now close to the end of your tether and if you try this again and you still see that hair, you might blow your brains out.

You going for another return leg, this time twisting your arms and shoulders into painful positions just to make sure the shaving stick gets there.

You rinse off, now sure that the whole thing is gone.

Nope, it is right there, asking you “how market?”

You go out to buy bullets for a shotgun so you can put yourself out of the crushing misery.



4)The rolling stones: You’re walking home from work, exhausted and indulging in your favorite fantasy of how you would tie your bust to a pulp one day and beat the hell out of her. Suddenly, you’re feeling discomfort in your foot as you notice a tiny pebble has rolled into shoe. You squirm around a bit to allow the pebble roll down under foot, then continue walking.

You are now feeling a different kind of discomfort as each time you step on the ground, you re stepping on the pebble, which is rather painful. You twist your foot around again for it to roll to the front of the shoe where there is a bit more space. This time, it goes to nestle right at the tip of your big toe. So any minor movement you make, you find your toe poking a small but now somehow noticeably sharp pebble.

You take off your shoe and throw it at the nearest Mopol officer.


E don be.

http://zakuraweekly.com/four-simple-but-really-annoying-things-that-happen-to-you-almost-everyday/


Update: (At the behest of our dearest Demelza, i've decided to add this disclaimer: If any of these things does drive you to commit suicide..................i'm always available to inherit your property !)

Bwahahahahahahahaha Soooooooo right

Lol
Life can't be all rosy. All of these discomfort, make living far from boring. When you pay attention them,as often as possible, you become downright petty.

Lol
Life can't be all rosy. All of these discomfort, make living far from boring. When you pay attention to them,as often as possible, you become downright petty.

LOL!!!
This piece should come with a disclaimer, your little problems shouldnt drive you to suicide.
No. 1 is hella hilarious.

No1 is the most annoying! Then No4!
Nice one sebonza!

I've noticed that your topics don't make frontpage again! Did you quarrel with any super-mod?

homesteady: No1 is the most annoying! Then No4!
Nice one sebonza!

I've noticed that your topics don't make frontpage again! Did you quarrel with any super-mod?

Lolz!!! Mii mo o! Anyways, i've not really been posting of late as I just started a job. But i've settled in so i now know when I have time to return to writing and posting!

demelza: LOL!!!
This piece should come with a disclaimer, your little problems shouldnt drive you to suicide.
No. 1 is hella hilarious.

Fixed!!!

senbonzakura_kageyoshi:


3)The pit hole conundrum: You are standing in front of the mirror, telling yourself how wonderful you are and what a blessing God has made you to the eyes of all the females around. You are just about moving into giving yourself that speech about how perfect you are when you notice a small flaw.

The small forest under your armpits.

Moving swiftly, you grab a disposable shaving stick and set to work, with the help of a mirror, clearing the offending undergrowth. After ten minutes of effusive work, you rinse of and examine your progress. It is all gone…..except one tiny patch right at the center of the pits.

You lather up again, taking care to send the shaving stick as far down as it gets without carving your armpit up into meat for sale. You rinse off again.

The jungle still exists, like a small island in the clear area of your armpits.

You’re now close to the end of your tether and if you try this again and you still see that hair, you might blow your brains out.

You going for another return leg, this time twisting your arms and shoulders into painful positions just to make sure the shaving stick gets there.

You rinse off, now sure that the whole thing is gone.

Nope, it is right there, asking you “how market?”

Thank God for fleshy pits.

lol. reminds me of murphy's laws

senbonzakura_kageyoshi:

Fixed!!!

You are too kind

demelza: You are too kind

Ok, so i was typing a really long e-mail on my blackberry to send to an important person. . . Just when i'm about 80% done, the whole work deletes of its own accord. I cuss and whine in frustration and start again, this time making sure to press the delete button ever so lightly while keeping one eye on the battery power. Just as i finish typing it again and about to hit send. . .


























. . . 'battery too low for radio use.'

Hahaha Happens all d time. Thank you for d hilarious post

How come none of the listed annoying things has ever happened to me :-/

Never been there.

No 4 without the mopol part is me.
Funny thread

Vivly: How come none of the listed annoying things has ever happened to me :-/

Lolz, I can send you a bottle of tiny pills to try your luck!

Number 1 ALWAYS happens to me.So freakin' annoying!



Nice one Zakura.I always look forward to your writeups

@seb y did u omit the never-clean an.us? Ok. Step one, clean wt tissue. Step two, rinse wt clean water. Step three, touch the area wt ur finger. Step four, smell your finger. Repeat step one-four.

No 1...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrgh and dt one pill dt falls to the ground always disappears to parts unknown