A friend is considering starting a family. He's 46. A professional, decent job but I don't think he's wealthy. Don't ask me what he's done with his life all these while! He presently is thinking of settling with a 23 year old undergraduate who does not seem to mind the age difference. I am not sure how best to advise him. I think he should get an older lady. What does the house think?

getting an older lady is NOT the issue here, as his younger babe do not seem to care about the age gap, it is the timing that is the whole issue. if he aint rich, then that means he has been the same guy all his life, so why wanting to marry NOW and not 10/20 yrs ago? what suddenly changed in the mind of this man for him to believe that it is the right today to get married?

he might as well just get a gf and be done with it!

@MRbrownJAY- I think its a combination of disappointments from ladies he previously dated plus wanting to 'make' it before settling. Now he's torn between carrying on as he is vs 'settling down'. He's not rich but he's not poor either- if that makes sense. He's got a good job and in my opinion earns enough to raise a family. Its such a dilemma for him. I wonder if anyone knows of examples and how they got by. I probably will introduce him to nairaland as well.

Better late than never . ..

He could have gone with an older lady but its up to him.

ryom: @MRbrownJAY- I think its a combination of disappointments from ladies he previously dated plus wanting to 'make' it before settling. Now he's torn between carrying on as he is vs 'settling down'. He's not rich but he's not poor either- if that makes sense. He's got a good job and in my opinion earns enough to raise a family. Its such a dilemma for him. I wonder if anyone knows of examples and how they got by. I probably will introduce him to nairaland as well.

bro, answer the following questions, if you may:
- how is this r/ship any different than the poor ones he had in the past?
- how is this lady any different?
- does he truly love her or is she just here at the right time?
- is he really ready or just that he feels that he wont ever marry again, if he doesnt take the jump now?
- does he know the downside of marrying THAT late with someone THAT young?
- how long have they been dating?
- how long have they been living together?
- what is her current life status (studying, employed, unemployed but searching, educated etc)?
- what are the fun things they do together?
- what are the fun things they hope to do together in 10yrs/20yrs?
- what do they have in common?

yep, these are some of the question he MUST think about before marrying that gal.

ryom: A friend is considering starting a family. He's 46. A professional, decent job but I don't think he's wealthy. Don't ask me what he's done with his life all these while! He presently is thinking of settling with a 23 year old undergraduate who does not seem to mind the age difference. I am not sure how best to advise him. I think he should get an older lady. What does the house think?

Why do you think he should get an older lady? He has finally decided to settle down, he has met someone he loves and she loves him too. So what is the problem with the lady's age? Some 23 yr old ladies are more mature than some 35 year old ladies sef.

In my opinion, they look good to go! Happy married life in advance to them.

Hold on...

46 - 23 =

23




Wishing them LLNP

That man neva pass men'opause?

Well, just start the LATE PLANTING. Though the scourge of the sun will affect growth, God will nurture them and prevent them from withering.

Nashville:

Why do you think he should get an older lady? He has finally decided to settle down, he has met someone he loves and she loves him too. So what is the problem with the lady's age? Some 23 yr old ladies are more mature than some 35 year old ladies sef.

In my opinion, they look good to go! Happy married life in advance to them.

A woman I know is in her mid 50s (and looks like she's in her early 40s) Her husband is already senile. At a glance you'd think they are father and daughter!

I bet he married her at a very young age and people applauded him for marrying a 'young' wife. Today the wife is in her prime with a number of 'sugar boys' and the man is practically useless!

Anything higher than a 10-year age difference is bound to end with such a terrible outcome!

MRbrownJAY:

bro, answer the following questions, if you may:
- how is this r/ship any different than the poor ones he had in the past?
- how is this lady any different?
- does he truly love her or is she just here at the right time?
- is he really ready or just that he feels that he wont ever marry again, if he doesnt take the jump now?
- does he know the downside of marrying THAT late with someone THAT young?
- how long have they been dating?
- how long have they been living together?
- what is her current life status (studying, employed, unemployed but searching, educated etc)?
- what are the fun things they do together?
- what are the fun things they hope to do together in 10yrs/20yrs?
- what do they have in common?

yep, these are some of the question he MUST think about before marrying that gal.

[color=#006600][/color]


Well, the guy will have to answer all those by himself. I know the lady is in 300L. They dont live together. I think they met 2 years ago and it appears so far so good. I believe they love each other although as a married man myself, I know you need more than love for marriage to work. I dont know the details of the fun they have together but they do seem happy together far as I can see.

Ujujoan:

A woman I know is in her mid 50s (and looks like she's in her early 40s) Her husband is already senile. At a glance you'd think they are father and daughter!

I bet he married her at a very young age and people applauded him for marrying a 'young' wife. Today the wife is in her prime with a number of 'sugar boys' and the man is practically useless!

Anything higher than a 10-year age difference is bound to end with such a terrible outcome!

Sorry but there is no justification for a woman in her mid-fifties to have a sugar boy. Even if her husband were in his sixties, his d*ck may not be like it used to be; so she would still need sugar boys anyway.

I agree with you a large age difference is not ideal, but there is no one size fits all marriage. This 46 yr old man may enjoy another 40 years of good health - who knows? Who knows who will die or go senile first.

Besides it took him all these years to find a wife, he finally finds one and you are suggesting he should drop her because of age. His next relationship may be at age 60.

46? This na 'GOD'S TIME' man o!
The man don pass 'WOMENOPAUSE' na! Haba!!!
If the cry of pickin dem wake this kain man for night. . . e fit take gun kill dem o!
Those babies are gonna be 'shriveled' like his 'BLOKOS' for sure!
Imagine having a baby with GENETIC BALDNESS aka alopecia or being expelled from the VJJ at birth looking like one 'DEBE OJUKWU'!!!

Abeg . . .make im carry im 'VIA-GRA-GRA' pehnis comot jor!
Na dis kain man go wake woman up 12 hours after pre-intimacy. . . after the woman must have SUCKED AND SUCKED to wake the DEAD LAZARUS UP.
The woman must have been 'dried' up and would still ram the damn thing into her to prove that he is still a '2-second' man!

GOD'S TIME INDEED. . .IS THE BEST TIME INDEED!

Nashville:

Sorry but there is no justification for a woman in her mid-fifties to have a sugar boy. Even if her husband were in his sixties, his d*ck may not be like it used to be; so she would still need sugar boys anyway.

I agree with you a large age difference is not ideal, but there is no one size fits all marriage. This 46 yr old man may enjoy another 40 years of good health - who knows? Who knows who will die or go senile first.

Besides it took him all these years to find a wife, he finally finds one and you are suggesting he should drop her because of age. His next relationship may be at age 60.

LMAO . . .

I'm not justifying what she's doing, just saying some things can be avoided. 23 years gap is just tooo much. IT never ends well . .

Look what happened to Ojukwu and Bianca . . .

Nashville:

Sorry but there is no justification for a woman in her mid-fifties to have a sugar boy. Even if her husband were in his sixties, his d*ck may not be like it used to be; so she would still need sugar boys anyway.

I agree with you a large age difference is not ideal, but there is no one size fits all marriage. This 46 yr old man may enjoy another 40 years of good health - who knows? Who knows who will die or go senile first.

Besides it took him all these years to find a wife, he finally finds one and you are suggesting he should drop her because of age. His next relationship may be at age 60.

you can yab o, see yabbing

Ujujoan:

LMAO . . .

I'm not justifying what she's doing, just saying some things can be avoided. 23 years gap is just tooo much. IT never ends well . .

Look what happened to Ojukwu and Bianca . . .

Me I do not know what happened between Bianca and Ojukwu o. As far as I am concerned, they were happily married. And yes those children look just like Ikemba and not FFK!

Nashville:

Me I do not know what happened between Bianca and Ojukwu o. As far as I am concerned, they were happily married. And yes those children look just like Ikemba and not FFK!

Of course they were happily married . . . they loved each other like OP's friend and fiancee.

Except she spent the last 5 years (or more) tending to his deteriorating health. I don't even want to guess the last time they actually had sex or any kind of fun at all . . . before he died!

At a point when she should have been attending every Owambe with her husband by her side, she was hiding him away in foreign hospitals and caring for him till death. . The mad rush for her nko by vultures . . Everybody wanted a piece of her cos her hubby was practically useless. She had a husband and yet she was single. And at such a young age at that!

Their poor children probably taught their father was actually their grand father

No sir, I don't want to live like that . . .

Kanwulia: 46? This na 'GOD'S TIME' man o!
The man don pass 'WOMENOPAUSE' na! Haba!!!
If the cry of pickin dem wake this kain man for night. . . e fit take gun kill dem o!
Those babies are gonna be 'shriveled' like his 'BLOKOS' for sure!
Imagine having a baby with GENETIC BALDNESS aka alopecia or being expelled from the VJJ at birth looking like one 'DEBE OJUKWU'!!!

Abeg . . .make im carry im 'VIA-GRA-GRA' pehnis comot jor!
Na dis kain man go wake woman up 12 hours after pre-intimacy. . . after the woman must have SUCKED AND SUCKED to wake the DEAD LAZARUS UP.
The woman must have been 'dried' up and would still ram the damn thing into her to prove that he is still a '2-second' man!

GOD'S TIME INDEED. . .IS THE BEST TIME INDEED!

LMAO,

Very soon, the girl will start changing pampers, plus crying babies at the background.
23ys!

Ewo!

But OP, all these yrs, why d guy no sample one chikala just get baby before getting to his woman o pause.
Never too late, they can still make it. Father daughter relationship.

Ujujoan:

Of course they were happily married . . . they loved each other like OP's friend and fiancee.

Except she spent the last 5 years (or more) tending to his deteriorating health. I don't even want to guess the last time they actually had sex or any kind of fun at all . . . before he died!

At a point when she should have been attending every Owambe with her husband by her side, she was hiding him away in foreign hospitals and caring for him till death. . The mad rush for her nko by vultures . . Everybody wanted a piece of her cos her hubby was practically useless. She had a husband and yet she was single. And at such a young age at that!

Their poor children probably taught their father was actually their grand father

No sir, I don't want to live like that . . .

But in this case we are talking about the man and not the woman. The young lady in question is ok with the arrangement so why should the man's friend be against it.

Nashville:

But in this case we are talking about the man and not the woman. The young lady in question is ok with the arrangement so why should the man's friend be against it.

Of course she's okay with it now . . . she's 23 and all she wants is a ring on her finger!

10 years from now, younger men are going to ask her wat she's doing with such an old husband . . . will she still be ok with it then

I just think the man is not being realistic here . . . how does he expect the marriage to work with such huge age difference

It's not fair on the lady and not fair on him . . .

Ujujoan:

Of course she's okay with it now . . . she's 23 and all she wants is a ring on her finger!

10 years from now, younger men are going to ask her wat she's doing with such an old husband . . . will she still be ok with it then

I just think the man is not being realistic here . . . how does he expect the marriage to work with such huge age difference

It's not fair on the lady and not fair on him . . .

People will always talk about the person you married. Whether he is handsome, rich, nice etc. Na dem get their mouth. The important thing is that are you both in love and are you happy being with each other. No marriage is perfect so people will always talk about something.

And marrying a middle aged man is no excuse to cheat. If I were the poster, I will support my friend 100 percent.

[size=16pt] Nothing In Life is Ever Too Late. [/size]

Royal Roy: [size=16pt] Nothing In Life is Ever Too Late. [/size]

I hope you are taking note .

No, it's not too late for him.

ROTFLMAO. This is funni-ness

I dnt see d problem here, some ladies even prefer older men like 55 plus. Gud a thing is nt like d man is rich so d lady's decision is nt influenced by money.

Chillisauce:

I hope you are taking note .

who is taking note? RR or the op

@op, if they're both happy with their decision and they both promise to be committed to their relationship despite their age differences, then, nothing to be worried about. All they need from you guys is 1. Your prayers to be able to see them through their marital storms.
2. People minding ther business and not meddling in their marital affairs.
If these two are in places, then, they'll go far, even beyond their expectation.
It is well.

Not long ago,I saw a picture of Iwuanyanwu with one babe and it was said that they just got married.
Obasanjo,Atiku,many of them shriveld blokos gat married to fine damsel and the show goes on and on.........
If all these old men that viagra can no longer push blood to their down below can comfortably marry, is it now this new chasis tear rubber denzel that time is against?
In nigeria?

Abegi, let's free him.unless he don't have his doo, gals will be doing d chasing and he is left to do the picking only!


If u guys doubt me,let him come online and declare he wanna marry and he is so so and so age.
We all know what will happen.
Gals r not smiliiiing!

Hmmm. Lots of interesting comments here for and against. Since I'm sort of close to the lady as well, I was thinking of checking that she is really sure this was what she wanted. My friend is what you would describe as a perfect gentleman. He is not pushing for it though he feels if he doesn't get married now, then that's it, much to the chagrin of his family. He is just as concerned, doesn't want to be seen as taking any advantage of the lady. Like someone mentioned its difficult to say if the lady is just excited to be in a relationship or if she had really thought it through. When the guy is 65, the lady will just be 42. Ordinarily it's like she faces early widowhood, but only God holds life. Looking at them, they seem so in love. Well, life is never perfect.