Your papa!!! I cursed at my friend Demola.
E no go better for you, he cursed back
Motor go jam u, i added
Na ur papa motor go jam, he replied.
I go tell Uncle tomorrow, i threatened.
My name is Johnson but my friends call me Alabi Yellow cos of my complexion nd am d second born but d only son in a family of three. I have a sis who is six years younger than me and a sister who is four years older than me. Dad is a police officer (not dose ones wey dey collect #20 from motorist o nd even if he does, who care) and mum worked in one of the state hospital as a nurse.
I attended Jesa international nursery and primary school sabo here in Abeokuta(nt sure weather the school still dey exist sef). Am one of the most brilliant student and the most troublesome. I was lucky to be the class captain which i used to my advantage.
Demola has been my best friend since childhood, we grew up in the same neighbourhood but he was the complete opposite of me. He's black nd a little above average nd he like getting into trouble but i intimidate him wit my position in school.
We had closed for the day when Demola suggested dat we should go and pluck mangoes. I was a bit sceptical about it cos the compound we are going is a haven for dogs. But when he persisted, i agreed and followed him. We got to d house, Demola opened the gate gently cos the gate was not locked.
Oya nw, lets do wetin we wan do' he said. I followed him to one tree that is full of mangoes. I licked my lips in anticipation of what i am goin to enjoy. In a jiffy, Demola climbed the tree and started throwing down mangoes.

E don do o, i shouted at him
Hw many mangoes do we dere? He asked.
Seven, i replied
You b mumu o, seven mangoes na im we pluck nd u dey shout say e don do,he replied.
Ok, no wahala continue, i dey ur back, i said.
Demola laughed at me and said 'you wey no sabi beat Joshua dey talk say he dey my back'. I looked at him scornfully 'na sand enter my eyes dat day, if nt...........I had nt completed my statement when i heard the voice behind me.
I said who are you? The voice thundered. I stood dere lyk a lifeless statue, it was nt evn the man i am scared of but d hungry lookin dog he held coupled with the fact that he held a four mouth koboko. Evn though the man looked like Big show.
Are u deaf, i said what do you want, who are you, who sent you here? The man asked so many questions that i wondered which to answer first.
Abeg sir, no vex sir. I finally found my voice
Shut up your mouth and answer me! He barked.
Na dis my friend wey comot for school uncle say make i come find. I replied.
Its a lie o! Demola shouted from the top of the tree. Only if he had known, he would have kept quiet cos the man did not see him but he willingly gave himself out.
So you are even two? The man asked.
No, we are four, eyes dey pain you? I muttered cos dem no born my mama well make i say it loud.
Without wasting time, the man dashed us four four each(nt mangoes o)and asked us never to come back again. I was already crying a river before the man finished his speech.

Comments and critics are highly appreciated

Demola is a guy that will never cry, no matter how hard u beat him. He once bragged that he bathed with frog infested water hence his thick skin.
He was seriously laughing at me calling me a coward. I feel like banging his head against a wall, nut i knw better than to try such with him cos he will beat me red and blue coupled with the colour of my skin. The day Demola gave Tobi the most notorious fighter in our class the beating of his life was the day my respect shot up for him.
Tobi sat down on Demola's sit which was beside me. I had wanted to tell him to stand up but my small brain reminded me of the beating i will receive. So, when Demola asked Tobi to stand up from his seat, i was like dis guy they craze.
U dey craze, shey na me u dey talk to? Tobi asked
Na u dey craze. Demola replied
I was thinkin of the kind of beating Demola will receive when a thunderous slap cut short my meditating.
Gbosaaaa!!! Tobi slapped Demola
Gbaaaaa!!! Demola replied him
E no go better for u Tobi said and threw a punch at Demola
E no go better for you too Demola replied with a much stronger punch.
A fight started between the two with Demola having the upper hand.

Demola was already raining blows on Tobi when i stepped in to hold Demola. Tobi saw it as a chance to return one of the heavyweight blow Demola has dashed him. Tobi closed his eyes nd muster all his courage to throw a mindblowing punch. Demola saw the blow coming and quickly weaved it but it was too late. The punch came straight to my throat, i closed my eyes in disbelief and swallowed hard but my voice refused to speak out. I gave out a sharp cry like someone whose genitals is on fire.
Yeeh!!! U don kill my friend. Demola shouted
What is happening here? Uncle asked

With my experience so far with Demola, i resolved to treat his fwck up. We got home separately though we live in the same nieghbourhood.
Eku ile ma(gud day ma) i greeted my mom.
Kaa bo(welcome) mom answered
Why is your face so red? She asked
Uncle beat us for failing his question. I replied
I dare not tell her i was beaten because of mangoes or else she go add to my suffering(typical yoruba mom) cos she has always warned me about it.
I went inside and meet my elder sis watching tv. I went inside without even saying hello
You cannot greet abi? She yelled
Come and carry my head make i greet you nw, shebi u no give me yorghurt yesterday. I fired back
She hissed, i went inside took of my cloth and went staright to the kitchen. The trurh is that i am not a food freak,but when i am hungry, i can be dangerous. So na even amala you prepared and you dey shout say make i greet you. I shouted at my sister.
Just make sure you wash those plates when you finished eating, she said.
I finished eating, washed the plates and enter my room to do my homework. Cos dats the routine in our house and you dare not go out without doing your assignment. I finished my assignment and was thinking of what to do when i remembered i promised to treat Demola's fwck up.
I smiled at myself and sat down to plan my strategy. I arranged my books and left for Demola's place.
Kilode to fabo yen laro yii(why didn't u washed those plates dis moring) his father asked? Now, the only person i knew Demola feared was his father. I smiled at myself when i heard his father's voice cos his father hardly stays at home. I knew very soon Demola will be pleading for mercy from his father considering what i have planned for him.

E ka san sir(gud afternoon sir) I greeted his father.
Bawo ni omo dada(hw far gud pikin) he answered.
Am fine sir. I replied.
I sat down and saw Demola cuddled up in a corner lookin at me with one kind eye lyk dat. His father came to sit down holding a Tell magazine.
Shey u don do ur assignment? I asked Demola. Of course i knew he will never do it but i purposely asked just to implicate him.
Yes, he answered.
Ok, just make sure you do am, make e no b lyk the one dem dey give us wey you no dey do.
So Demola has not been doing his assignment? His father asked
Yes, i replied before Demola got the chance to answer. Dats why uncle dey beat him for school everyday, i added.
Demola!!! His father shouted. Go and bring your school bag.
I was already laughing at this stage cos dis my friend has only two exercise as his notes and his father here is telling him to go and bring his school bag.
Demola went inside and brought out some notes which i knew does not belongs to him.
Oya show me the exercise book you are using for your homework. His father commanded
Demola brought out a almost faded exercise book and showed it to his father.
Koi!!! A knock landed on his head. Is this the exercise book i bought for you at the beginning of this term? His father asked.
Yes si....sir. Demola stammered.
Oya show me your homework. His father commanded.

By thist time, i was laughing my head of. Demola could not see any assignment to present to his father.
So you have been wasting my money all this while? His father asked. You, pointing at me, go and get me a cane. I qtickly ran out before he changed his mind and call me back.
I went inside the bush nt far from his house and i saw one guava tree. I cut a branch from it and happily returned to meet his dad. I got to Demola house to see him kneeling down and raising up his two hands. I gave his father the stick and waited to see my friend begging for mercy.
Oya come here his father commanded.
Daddy please o, i no go do am again, he begged.

Nice story bro. Kip it up

Since one oloriburuku hacker don hack him papa life make i just kuku continue the story

Mind your abbreviations, brother.
You don't abbreviate a story.

You should also take note of spacing, paragraphs and punctuations..

Also, I think conversations should be quoted.

Seriously, did you guys reply Demola's Dad in pidgin or you just put it that way?

...those are the little things I noticed. We're all learning brother!!
good story..

johnwizey: Since one oloriburuku hacker don hack him papa life make i just kuku continue the story

are you really from Sabo in Abeokuta?
I attended Precious Gift nursery and primary school there..
I don't know of that Jesa school though.

PrinceAdepoju: are you really from Sabo in Abeokuta?
I attended Precious Gift nursery and primary school there..
I don't know of that Jesa school though.

I knw dat Precious gift school. Is it still existing?

johnwizey: I knw dat Precious gift school. Is it still existing?

yea, sure.
They now have a Secondary school there..