AXYZ:

Noble, thanks for the succinct analysis. May I request that you help on this:
I have a female friend who is seperated for almost two years but not legally divorced yet. She wants to initiate divorce proceedings. However, she happens to be pregnant already for a new lover who wants to marry her (even before the divorce). What can you advice she does?

Thanks

I will advice that she waits for another year (and refuse to contact her ex husband). Under Nigerian law, if a couple has been living apart for three or more years, the judge will have to grant the divorce. However, it must be clear that the three year seperation has been continuous and at no time did the couple come together during the period.

If she can, let her keep the pregnancy away from her ex. If not, the ex can institute a counter petition and ask for a divorce on the grounds of adultery (the pregnancy is proof that she "frolicked" with another man while her marriage till subsisted) and the judge will have to choose which of the grounds on which the divorce will be given.

However, the three-year rule is the best as there are settled cases that state that once a couple have lived separate and apart for a continuous period of three years, the divorce should be granted. If there are any children in the marriage, she and her ex wll have to agree on how the children will be taken care of.

pearlworth:

I will advice that she waits for another year (and refuse to contact her ex husband). Under Nigerian law, if a couple has been living apart for three or more years, the judge will have to grant the divorce. However, it must be clear that the three year seperation has been continuous and at no time did the couple come together during the period.

If she can, let her keep the pregnancy away from her ex. If not, the ex can institute a counter petition and ask for a divorce on the grounds of adultery (the pregnancy is proof that she "frolicked" with another man while her marriage till subsisted) and the judge will have to choose which of the grounds on which the divorce will be given.

However, the three-year rule is the best as there are settled cases that state that once a couple have lived separate and apart for a continuous period of three years, the divorce should be granted. If there are any children in the marriage, she and her ex wll have to agree on how the children will be taken care of.

[quote author=pearlworth]

Thanks Pearl. It's quite revealing! Right now, she intends to marry while she's latently pregnant. Would you advise she faces the consequential counter petition or she marries again - covertly(while the other is awaiting dissolution). The marriage was blessed with a 3year old boy.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

How many people sit down to discuss how to get married talk less of what will happen if the marriage crashes. 98% of Nigerian women are looking for husband and not a companion.

Pre-nuptial agreement, ha ha ha ha!

Now why would anyone wanna sign a prenup? Its like an omen wishing the marriage to crash in the future.

What happened to love and faith and vows?

People!

[quote author=AXYZ][/quote]

You're welcome AXYZ. Really, she is the one to decide. Is she ready to face the shame that will come with the petition? Documents filed at the courts are public documents and can be viewed by anyone! Is she ready to reveal her dirty laundry to the general public? Divorce proceedings are very messy!

I will also advice that she holds on till the divorce is over before she gets married again, particularly if her first marriage was done at the registry or a registered church. A subsequent marriage will be bigamy and that is an offence under the law. Besides that, the second marriage will be a nullity and can be a ground for divorce by her second husband.

Your friend has made the situation a little messy, I will advice that she does'nt make it any more complicated and wait another year.

I feel very sad when I hear of divorce cases that involve very young children . She should currently focus on making arrangements for the young child till the end of the one year waiting period. The courts are very particular about the welfare and maintenance of the child and the divorce proceeding may be delayed if this issue is not ironed out.

pearlworth:

You're welcome AXYZ. Really, she is the one to decide. Is she ready to face the shame that will come with the petition? Documents filed at the courts are public documents and can be viewed by anyone! Is she ready to reveal her dirty laundry to the general public? Divorce proceedings are very messy!

I will also advice that she holds on till the divorce is over before she gets married again, particularly if her first marriage was done at the registry or a registered church. A subsequent marriage will be bigamy and that is an offence under the law. Besides that, the second marriage will be a nullity and can be a ground for divorce by her second husband.

Your friend has made the situation a little messy, I will advice that she does'nt make it any more complicated and wait another year.

I feel very sad when I hear of divorce cases that involve very young children . She should currently focus on making arrangements for the young child till the end of the one year waiting period. The courts are very particular about the welfare and maintenance of the child and the divorce proceeding may be delayed if this issue is not ironed out.

The whole scene is dramatic! Lest I forget, thanks for the contributions. There are some issues on ground now.
1. I dont think she would want to 'KEEP' the pregnancy and birth for one more year
2. She would most likely want to make the pregnancy official via introduction and marriage
3. Having earlier told her estranged hubby of her intention to divorce, CANT court dissolve it mutually or based on ANY other ground (without their knowledge of the pregnancy?)
4. The whole thing was circumstancial. She is just 27 years and just needed to settle back ASAP now that she's still young.
5. The new hubby's family having x-rayed the whole issue has accepted her wholly
6. Definitely, you wont advice she 'removes' the baby, right?
7. What do you still suggest? She waits for another one year (with another baby?)
8. Seems pretty well the court will speedily grant the divorce (on adultery ground) if she can contain the accompanying shame OR what else would you advise, judging from the foregoing?

Thanks bro.

AXYZ:

The whole scene is dramatic! Lest I forget, thanks for the contributions. There are some issues on ground now.
1. I dont think she would want to 'KEEP' the pregnancy and birth for one more year
2. She would most likely want to make the pregnancy official via introduction and marriage
3. Having earlier told her estranged hubby of her intention to divorce, CANT court dissolve it mutually or based on ANY other ground (without their knowledge of the pregnancy?)
4. The whole thing was circumstancial. She is just 27 years and just needed to settle back ASAP now that she's still young.
5. The new hubby's family having x-rayed the whole issue has accepted her wholly
6. Definitely, you wont advice she 'removes' the baby, right?
7. What do you still suggest? She waits for another one year (with another baby?)
8. Seems pretty well the court will speedily grant the divorce (on adultery ground) if she can contain the accompanying shame OR what else would you advise, judging from the foregoing?

Thanks bro.

You're very welcome AXYZ. It is a pleasure to be of help. Regarding your questions, see my answers below:

Q3. In Nigeria, you cannot divorce by agreement. You must prove your case independently. There are other grounds for divorce, e.g abandonment, separation for two years (the petitioner must prove that the spouse is either very cruel, has health problems or has huge character problems e.g drunkenness etc), however for all this grounds, you must furnish adequate proof and it involves exposing a lot of skeletons in cupboards and dirty laundry which is very messy! (I have handled some divorce cases and they're really terrible).

Q6. God forbid!! she shouldn't remove the baby! Please! There are many people who pray to God every second for a baby. It is a precious gift from God. Rather, I will advice that she has the baby, raises the baby, after the third year, get her divorce and marry her new husband. The baby can be her little bride/ring bearer sef. Its a lot tidy that way.

Q7. I still thinks she should wait, However I know of someone who was in a similar situation and rather than wait, he just did a low-key introduction and out his wife in the house, they now have two children and there was no drama. I'm not saying this is the right thing, I'm just saying that some others have also tried what she has done.

Q8. From my experience, Nigerian Courts and Speedy Decisions are mutually exclusive! Even in cases where the divorce is uncontested, it still takes 1-2 years. Im only suggesting the three-year rule because it helps to avoid washing dirty laundry in public. If you ever sit in a family court, you will be shocked to her what couples engage in and how willing they are to spill it out once divorce proceedings commence.

I should mention that I am not a bro... I'm female , but you are most welcome!!!!

pearlworth:

You're very welcome AXYZ. It is a pleasure to be of help. Regarding your questions, see my answers below:

Q3. In Nigeria, you cannot divorce by agreement. You must prove your case independently. There are other grounds for divorce, e.g abandonment, separation for two years (the petitioner must prove that the spouse is either very cruel, has health problems or has huge character problems e.g drunkenness etc), however for all this grounds, you must furnish adequate proof and it involves exposing a lot of skeletons in cupboards and dirty laundry which is very messy! (I have handled some divorce cases and they're really terrible).

Q6. God forbid!! she shouldn't remove the baby! Please! There are many people who pray to God every second for a baby. It is a precious gift from God. Rather, I will advice that she has the baby, raises the baby, after the third year, get her divorce and marry her new husband. The baby can be her little bride/ring bearer sef. Its a lot tidy that way.

Q7. I still thinks she should wait, However I know of someone who was in a similar situation and rather than wait, he just did a low-key introduction and out his wife in the house, they now have two children and there was no drama. I'm not saying this is the right thing, I'm just saying that some others have also tried what she has done.

Q8. From my experience, Nigerian Courts and Speedy Decisions are mutually exclusive! Even in cases where the divorce is uncontested, it still takes 1-2 years. Im only suggesting the three-year rule because it helps to avoid washing dirty laundry in public. If you ever sit in a family court, you will be shocked to her what couples engage in and how willing they are to spill it out once divorce proceedings commence.

I should mention that I am not a bro... I'm female , but you are most welcome!!!!

What else can I say other than...... THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I need not ask anything further. As God would have it, it was like a private discussion. You were there... You have just given some invaluable advice. May God continue to prosper and increase you in all your endeavours. Thanks for your time. Thank you Barrister.

AXYZ:
What else can I say other than...... THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I need not ask anything further. As God would have it, it was like a private discussion. You were there... You have just given some invaluable advice. May God continue to prosper and increase you in all your endeavours. Thanks for your time. Thank you Barrister.

You're very welcome!!!!! I'm glad I could help.

All the best

ENDTIMES: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

How many people sit down to discuss how to get married talk less of what will happen if the marriage crashes. 98% of Nigerian women are looking for husband and not a companion.

Pre-nuptial agreement, ha ha ha ha!

I quite agree.Unfortunately

pearlworth:

You're very welcome!!!!! I'm glad I could help.

All the best

While thanking you for yesterday's, I think it's apt i revert.
2. I conveyed to her your advice as regards 'Q7'. She's adamant she wouldnt want the baby to be born outside marriage and that she wouldnt mind to face the resultant mess arising from the plea for divorce.
3. The issue now is that speedy divorce is not guaranteed as you'd professionally advised even after facing the mess.
4. Thank you "De Law"!

AXYZ:

While thanking you for yesterday's, I think it's apt i revert.
2. I conveyed to her your advice as regards 'Q7'. She's adamant she wouldnt want the baby to be born outside marriage and that she wouldnt mind to face the resultant mess arising from the plea for divorce.
3. The issue now is that speedy divorce is not guaranteed as you'd professionally advised even after facing the mess.
4. Thank you "De Law"!

Hello AXYZ. Once again, its a pleasure to be of help. Thanks too for your comment on my blog.

She shouldn't forget that it is not only the shame, she will be committing an offence of bigamy. If for any wierd reason,she is prosecuted, can she handle being away from her husband or child? She should also consider this carefully.

Apologies if I sound rash, but I can't comprehend it, if she knew she did not want a child out of wedlock, why did she engage in activities that can result in pregnancy?


She should know, that whatever marriage she does now, unless the first marriage wasn't a 'court marriage', is a nullity and technically, that child will be as good as born out of wedlock.

As an aside, I percieve that something is wrong. Why is she so desperate to get married? Why is she in a hurry? She needs to take a deep breath and ask herself these questions, before she jumps into another marriage hurriedly and start looking for another way out.

pearlworth:


Hello AXYZ. Once again, its a pleasure to be of help. Thanks too for your comment on my blog.

She shouldn't forget that it is not only the shame, she will be committing an offence of bigamy. If for any wierd reason,she is prosecuted, can she handle being away from her husband or child? She should also consider this carefully.

Apologies if I sound rash, but I can't comprehend it, if she knew she did not want a child out of wedlock, why did she engage in activities that can result in pregnancy?


She should know, that whatever marriage she does now, unless the first marriage wasn't a 'court marriage', is a nullity and technically, that child will be as good as born out of wedlock.

As an aside, I percieve that something is wrong. Why is she so desperate to get married? Why is she in a hurry? She needs to take a deep breath and ask herself these questions, before she jumps into another marriage hurriedly and start looking for another way out.

She sure understands bigamy and the risks involved. She's only thinking of how to nullify the first marriage legally and AGAINST ALL ODDS to pave way for the new one. Thanks

pearlworth:
Hello AXYZ. Once again, its a pleasure to be of help. Thanks too for your comment on my blog.
She shouldn't forget that it is not only the shame, she will be committing an offence of bigamy. If for any wierd reason,she is prosecuted, can she handle being away from her husband or child? She should also consider this carefully.
Apologies if I sound rash, but I can't comprehend it, if she knew she did not want a child out of wedlock, why did she engage in activities that can result in pregnancy?
She should know, that whatever marriage she does now, unless the first marriage wasn't a 'court marriage', is a nullity and technically, that child will be as good as born out of wedlock.
As an aside, I percieve that something is wrong. Why is she so desperate to get married? Why is she in a hurry? She needs to take a deep breath and ask herself these questions, before she jumps into another marriage hurriedly and start looking for another way out.

Hello Pearlworth,
Just reading tru dis blog and came across this discuss. I have a similar case and i'll need your advise. Thanks

productiveme:


Hello Pearlworth,
Just reading tru dis blog and came across this discuss. I have a similar case and i'll need your advise. Thanks

Hi,

Please send an email to pearlworthconsultants@gmail.com and let's take it from there.

Look forward to hearing from you

AXYZ:


Noble, thanks for the succinct analysis. May I request that you help on this:
I have a female friend who is seperated for almost two years but not legally divorced yet. She wants to initiate divorce proceedings. However, she happens to be pregnant already for a new lover who wants to marry her (even before the divorce). What can you advice she does?

Thanks

Wow since 2013 No comment
The Child Is Now 6
Lozz i hope she has given up just as this thread is dead now