I have some issues will like u look into it.

I even opened a thread , though with another moniker,because of this but the advices i got left me more confused.

We stay in different states. I hv gone to see her just once but then we have been speaking on phone almost every time . We do the lovey dovey thing on phone. she said she likes everything about me, that I always make her smile n happy but said I shud wait that she is not yet ready to start a relationship with me.

I told her if she promise that she wont start dating any other guy weneva she is ready that am ready to wait. She couldn't give explicit answer. I asked her wen is she going to be ready to start a relationship she said she doesnt know. That the whole relationship thing is choking n wud want us to be best friends for now. My dilemma here is that I can say yes she likes me n I love this babe to pieces- maybe that is why i hv not been able to let go with all those attitudes. I really want a serious girl in my life. My work doesnt really give me time n I want if I shud be traveling all the way again to see her atleast there has to be something in there for me.

B4 i forget, av pressed her for a relationship like 2times and each time I come out with not yet ready. We started since May. She told me yestersday dat we are like 4 guyz that want to start dating her.

What do u make of these. N what should I do.

HisRib:

Hi There,

I sympathize with you dear. I understand everything you're going through and sincerely get why you're feeling this way, but you need to get over this girl.

I don't want to sound too harsh, but as a professional, I need to tell you what you need to hear and not what you want to hear.

This lady never loved you. She may have liked you for a period of time, but certainly didn't love you. And the fact that she moved on to someone else so quickly proves it.

You sound like a great guy. And believe me, there are hundreds of women waiting to be with a guy like you. You don't need to be crying over this girl. She is not worth it all dear.

My advice to you is, go on a few dates with other women. Don't jump into a serious relationship yet because you're still vulnerable and a woman would be able to sense it, and if she's a bad girl like your previous girlfriend, she will take advantage of you. I don't want you heartbroken again.

Just go on a few fun dates. Spend a lot of time with your friends, family or co-workers. This is not a good time for you to spend a lot of time alone. When you are alone, you'll be forced to think about her.

Get occupied with a hobby. Don't give yourself much free time. This will make the process of forgetting her easier.

As I mentioned before, you deserve better. There is a woman out there who will love you the way you deserve to be loved.

Be strong and know that I'm always here if you need encouragement.

X0X0

pls i need encouragement, wats ur number, lets do dinner

Barryp: Ask & get answers! Helo frnd. Pls I nid ur advise on ds isue that has caused me sleepless nights. I hav bin dating this young girl for 2 yrs now. In Sept this yr, she said we shld get married nxt yr or atmost in 2015. I told her I wont be redy and we parted. She came bak last wik apologizin and we startd all over again. The prblm nw is dat ystday she called that shes confused. She said she'd acepted a proposal wen we seperated bt came bak 2 me havin realisd my ril lov 4 her. Nw she said she dosnt want 2 hurt eithr of us dat shes confused. Wat shld I do plz? Is it posibl 2 lov a guy she met 2 moths ago dat much, or has she bin seein her all d while we're 2geda?

Hi There,

Interesting story.

Well, a few scenarios come to mind: 1) She's playing mind games to get you to propose quickly, 2) She has been cheating all along, 3) It is very possible that she met this guy 2 months ago and because she's so desperat for marrige, she accepted his proposal without really knowing him, or 4) She's trying to trick/trap you into marrying her sooner.

Based on what you've told me, it's quite obvious this woman is desperately in search for marriage and will run into the arms of any man who proposes marriage. But her issue is, she actually loves you. Yes, she wants to be with you, but because you won't give her what she wants, she's looking elsewhere.

My question to you is, do you have plans to marry this girl? If you are serious about marrying her, sit her down and have a conversation with her. Get her to understand you will give her what she wants & much more, but she needs to be patient. Women want assurance. When we reach a certain age, we like to know we are not wasting our times in doomed relationships.

If you know in your heart you don't plan on marrying this woman, do the right thing and let her go. Let her go be with a person who will give her what she wants.

But, if you are serious about her, have the conversation with her. If she's still confused, do something that will convince her that you both will eventuall tie the knot. You can give her a symbolic gift or letter.

Have the conversation as soon as possible and let me know how it goes.

Tip: 1) Always maintain control during the conversation. 2) Sound sincere and genuine.

Good luck!

ruthy28: Hello pls I need ur advice my story is a bit long so bear with me.
I dated this guy for abt 2yrs everyting was fine btwn us we were even talkin abt marriage, den all of a sudden he said he couldn't marry me cause of d church I attend so he broke up with me and we had talked about it n I told him when/if we get married I will attend his church. Nw he says he still loves me and want us to get bck together and I still love him so I would love for us to make up but what I dnt knw is shld I ask him abt his plans for us or me b4 I go back in or shld I just go in with blind faith. And does my askin abt his plan for us/ me mk me sound desperate?? Pls advice me am confused dnt knw what to do. Thanks in advance

Hi There,

Let me tell you something dear: don't ever let any man trick you into believing asking about the plans he has for your relationship makes you sound desperate. You have every right to know his intentions.

Before you make up with this guy, make sure you know his intentions for you. Make sure they are clear.

I wouldn't speak against going into this with blind faith. I believe God can work wonders for the both of you, but you both need to be on the same page emotionally.

I say once you have that talk with him and all things are cleared out, give the relationship another try.

Please keep in touch. Let me know how the conversation went.

oshyno: I have some issues will like u look into it.

I even opened a thread , though with another moniker,because of this but the advices i got left me more confused.

We stay in different states. I hv gone to see her just once but then we have been speaking on phone almost every time . We do the lovey dovey thing on phone. she said she likes everything about me, that I always make her smile n happy but said I shud wait that she is not yet ready to start a relationship with me.

I told her if she promise that she wont start dating any other guy weneva she is ready that am ready to wait. She couldn't give explicit answer. I asked her wen is she going to be ready to start a relationship she said she doesnt know. That the whole relationship thing is choking n wud want us to be best friends for now. My dilemma here is that I can say yes she likes me n I love this babe to pieces- maybe that is why i hv not been able to let go with all those attitudes. I really want a serious girl in my life. My work doesnt really give me time n I want if I shud be traveling all the way again to see her atleast there has to be something in there for me.

B4 i forget, av pressed her for a relationship like 2times and each time I come out with not yet ready. We started since May. She told me yestersday dat we are like 4 guyz that want to start dating her.

What do u make of these. N what should I do.

Okay. I have to be very honest with you. This woman is playing the field. She's most likely rotating lots of men. I get the impression she loves male attention and I'm not sure this is the kind of woman you want to have as a serious girlfriend.

But here's my advice to you, frankly tell her how you feel. Tell her you are not interested in friendship, you are looking for a relationship. She told you there are many men wanting to date her, right? Well you tell her, there are many woman in line to date you as well and if she doesn't want to be with you, you are going to move on with your life.

I'm under the impression this chick loves attention, so try to ignore her. Go 3 days without contacting her and please do not go see her. Be a little cold towards her. Don't giver her too much access to you. This girl has you wrapped around her fingers, you need to regain control of the situation.

Honestly speaking, I'm not getting a good feeling about this woman. I really want you to be open to meeting other people because this woman doesn't sound serious.

I hope this helped!

HisRib:

Hi There,

Interesting story.

Well, a few scenarios come to mind: 1) She's playing mind games to get you to propose quickly, 2) She has been cheating all along, 3) It is very possible that she met this guy 2 months ago and because she's so desperat for marrige, she accepted his proposal without really knowing him, or 4) She's trying to trick/trap you into marrying her sooner.

Based on what you've told me, it's quite obvious this woman is desperately in search for marriage and will run into the arms of any man who proposes marriage. But her issue is, she actually loves you. Yes, she wants to be with you, but because you won't give her what she wants, she's looking elsewhere.

My question to you is, do you have plans to marry this girl? If you are serious about marrying her, sit her down and have a conversation with her. Get her to understand you will give her what she wants & much more, but she needs to be patient. Women want assurance. When we reach a certain age, we like to know we are not wasting our times in doomed relationships.

If you know in your heart you don't plan on marrying this woman, do the right thing and let her go. Let her go be with a person who will give her what she wants.

But, if you are serious about her, have the conversation with her. If she's still confused, do something that will convince her that you both will eventuall tie the knot. You can give her a symbolic gift or letter.

Have the conversation as soon as possible and let me know how it goes.

Tip: 1) Always maintain control during the conversation. 2) Sound sincere and genuine.

Good luck!

Tnx alot. To answer some of ur questns, yes I really want to marry her. Shes jst 23 yrs and its a distanc relatnshp since I started my youth service. And wat 'symbolic gift' can I get her?. I'll av the conversatn wit her as advised and I'll update u.

Barryp: Tnx alot. To answer some of ur questns, yes I really want to marry her. Shes jst 23 yrs and its a distanc relatnshp since I started my youth service. And wat 'symbolic gift' can I get her?. I'll av the conversatn wit her as advised and I'll update u.

You're welcome dear. Have the conversation with her. As for the symbolic gift, you can maybe get her a nice little promise ring, necklace, earrings.

You can write her a beautiful letter. Another thing you can do is, get to know her family. Show interest in her family and bring her around your family, if you can. This will calm her nerves.

HisRib:

Okay. I have to be very honest with you. This woman is playing the field. She's most likely rotating lots of men. I get the impression she loves male attention and I'm not sure this is the kind of woman you want to have as a serious girlfriend.

But here's my advice to you, frankly tell her how you feel. Tell her you are not interested in friendship, you are looking for a relationship. She told you there are many men wanting to date her, right? Well you tell her, there are many woman in line to date you as well and if she doesn't want to be with you, you are going to move on with your life.

I'm under the impression this chick loves attention, so try to ignore her. Go 3 days without contacting her and please do not go see her. Be a little cold towards her. Don't giver her too much access to you. This girl has you wrapped around her fingers, you need to regain control of the situation.

Honestly speaking, I'm not getting a good feeling about this woman. I really want you to be open to meeting other people because this woman doesn't sound serious.

I hope this helped!

Sure it does.Thanks alot.

HisRib:

Hi There,

Let me tell you something dear: don't ever let any man trick you into believing asking about the plans he has for your relationship makes you sound desperate. You have every right to know his intentions.

Before you make up with this guy, make sure you know his intentions for you. Make sure they are clear.

I wouldn't speak against going into this with blind faith. I believe God can work wonders for the both of you, but you both need to be on the same page emotionally.

I say once you have that talk with him and all things are cleared out, give the relationship another try.

Please keep in touch. Let me know how the conversation went.

Tnks a lot dear I will do just as you have said and will let u knw the outcome

ruthy28: Tnks a lot dear I will do just as you have said and will let u knw the outcome

You're welcome! Have a great weekend!

HisRib:

You're welcome dear. Have the conversation with her. As for the symbolic gift, you can maybe get her a nice little promise ring, necklace, earrings.

You can write her a beautiful letter. Another thing you can do is, get to know her family. Show interest in her family and bring her around your family, if you can. This will calm her nerves.

Tnx pple 4 ur advice. Well, I jst spoke with her 2 ask her several questns. She insisted dat she loves me deeply. Also, 4rm her responses, its obvious dat d only cord btw her and my rival is MARRIAGE. Aside that, she said she dosnt love him as loves me. Another advantage d guy has over me is d fact dat both of them are in d same state while am far away. Hopefuly by xmas, I shall see her face 2 face.

Barryp: Tnx pple 4 ur advice. Well, I jst spoke with her 2 ask her several questns. She insisted dat she loves me deeply. Also, 4rm her responses, its obvious dat d only cord btw her and my rival is MARRIAGE. Aside that, she said she dosnt love him as loves me. Another advantage d guy has over me is d fact dat both of them are in d same state while am far away. Hopefuly by xmas, I shall see her face 2 face.

I'm glad you have your answers.

Good luck to the both of you.

HisRib: Do you have unanswered questions about your relationship?

I'm a certified relationship expert. I give men/ women advice.

If you need help/guidance/advice with regards to your romantic life, I'm here to help.

Ask & get answers!

Hmmm OP, lemme see ur certificate 1st for verificatn. .

HisRib:

I'm glad you have your answers.

Good luck to the both of you.

Tnx dear. You'v been of tremendous help

hey!..I have this problem of easily losing interest...I will ask a gal today and pray she doesn't say yes..if she eventually says yes..I won't put my best into d relationship..pls m I ok..and how do I stop it pls!....still got more problems though will ask later

Your really good. I like this thread might have a qs later xx

zube01: hey!..I have this problem of easily losing interest...I will ask a gal today and pray she doesn't say yes..if she eventually says yes..I won't put my best into d relationship..pls m I ok..and how do I stop it pls!....still got more problems though will ask later

Hi There,

Sounds like you have real problems.

Why do you ask a girl out and pray she doesn't say yes? What causes you to do that?

Do you prefer when a woman plays hard to get?

I need more info in order to issue proper help/advice.

What a lovely thread!

Thumbs up to the OP. You are doing a great job ma'am.
but this thread should have hit the front page na!

ichidodo: Thank GOD i met this thread on time.Some years back i had a crush on this Girl,made it known to her but for some inexplicable reasons i made myself very scarce around her so as not to get any feedback whether positive or negative though we move around in the same social circle.Fast forward today we now move in different social circles.I still have feelings for her and i know that my actions in the past must have stirred some emotions in her.Recently we started chatting online mostly mundane stuff.Do you suggest i level with her? Won't it ruin things and make her uncomfortable thus she doesn't want to have anything to do with me? How do i catch her interest?. Thanx

Hey There,

Sounds like you really like this girl. I think you should take your time with her. You can invite her out to a date, but don't make it seem like it's a romantic date. Just something friendly.

Get close to her and allow yourself to really get to know her. Keep talking to her in a friendly way. One day, ask her about her love life and hear what she has to say.

I advise that you take it slow with her. Slowly reveal your feelings to her. You can do so by being sweet, giving compliments and taking her out once in a while. Let her see that you are a great guy.

iebanehita: What a lovely thread!

Thumbs up to the OP. You are doing a great job ma'am.
but this thread should have hit the front page na!

Thanks a lot. I'm so glad I get to help people for a living. It has always been my dream.

And I thinks it's better off not going on front page because there will be too many requests and I won't be able to handle or keep up.

.

freakybaby: Nice thread...I have a question...Pls I met a guy and 2day makes it a month we met..we've had 2 dates,phone conversations n chat....bt he hasn't asked me out yet,d 3rd date was @ night,he invited me for his frend's bday,and afte d bday,we ki.ssed n ca.ressed in d car n also went 2 his place n had intimacy..immediately after all dat,d next day I felt bad and agry wit myself @ wat happened 2 d extent dat I wanted lil space..our conversation hasn't been strong after dat incident..he wasn't a constant caller or texter likewise me..and we haven't spoken 4 a week now..is there anyway I can let him know dat wat happend was a mistake dat I didn't mean it...and wat do u think is his plan??..he doesn't look 2 me like some1 dat has a gf...if I want 2 seee him,I knw I can seee him cos he'll be home(weekends only,he works)..pls wat do u think he's up to..I promised myself I won't call him or chat him up again..pls advice?? Does he think he has won??

Hi Dear,

I have to be very honest with you. The fact that he hasn't called you or tried to contact you in one week is not a good sign.

Another thing is, before sleeping together you two never had any one-on-one time. Phone conversations and chat do not count as dates. Him inviting you to his friend's birthday could be considered a date, but it wasn't a one-on-one date.

I get the impression he got what he wanted and has completely lost interest because he never had real feelings for you. But, you know what? I may be wrong.

The only way to find out is to call him and have the talk with him. Tell him exactly how you feel about the situation and ask him how he feels about it as well.

If he wants to keep seeing you, you can continue. If he sounds unsure, my dear as much as it will hurt, just move on.

In life we all make mistakes, but the great thing is, we get to learn lessons from our mistakes.

I have had many female clients who come to me with the same issue and I always advise them not to sleep with a man until he has made you his girl.

If you choose to sleep with him before that, at least make sure you've been around this person long enough and are quite confident about his feelings for you.

Love is complicated. Each love story is different, but it's always great to follow certain principles in order to avoid being heartbroken or used.

Call him and have the talk with him and let me know the outcome.

.

freakybaby: Thank u for ur advice, I really appreciate..But my problem is,I dnt want 2 call him and start asking all dat cos it will seem as if I'm desperate abt d relationship and I really luv him and he might think I'm crazy abt me,u knw hw some guys reason..I feel bad and also regret my action..I dnt have d mind 2 call him and start asking all dat dats why I also decided 2 stay on my own..I jst wish I have a way of telln him wat happened was a mistake..well,dats bygone!...u said he has lost interest dats why he hasn't contacted me all dis while and I'll prefer 2 leave him like dat..so wat do u think??

His behavior indicates he has lost interest. A guy who likes a girl will make some time for her no matter how busy he is. I mean, is he SO busy that he doesn't have 5 seconds to send you a quick text message?

You can choose not to contact him and put this whole thing behind you. That is totally fine. But, if you're looking for some type of closure, you can call/text him and express your sentiments without sounding desperate.

You can text/bbm him and say, I wanted to talk to you about what happened the other night. I normally don't do that, but because I really liked you, I gave in. But based on your actions it's clear you don't feel the same way about me. I've learned my lesson & I'm moving on with my life. It was nice knowing you.

You can say something along those lines.

Keep me posted! X0x0

mohaolajide: Hello there,
I have this ex i can't just get over and seriously i don't know why am finding it so hard,i know she's dating someone now but the feelings are still there,she was the first girl i truly fell in love with but she didn't feel the same.we had dated for 7 months before our break up and honestly it was torture all through she was into it for like two months and after that she just become incredibly cold and nasty.i would always show her i cared for her but it meant nothing to her,she always made me feel there were better guys out there will do better than i did.to be honest i know she loved me at some point but it all of a sudden just disappeared.. what do i do cos i rily love her

Hi, HisRib, my story is exactly the same as this, i'v tried every possible means to forget abt her (lyk blocking evry means of communication, deleting her pics on my fone) but its not yielding anytin, i cant stop d memories frm coming back. She broke my heart when i least expected, she was my bestfriend and i gave up everytin for her only to dump me. Pls is there anytin i can do to just kill off the memories. The more i hate her, the more i want her. I'm confused, pls help me

snadguy007:
Hi, HisRib, my story is exactly the same as this, i'v tried every possible means to forget abt her (lyk blocking evry means of communication, deleting her pics on my fone) but its not yielding anytin, i cant stop d memories frm coming back. She broke my heart when i least expected, she was my bestfriend and i gave up everytin for her only to dump me. Pls is there anytin i can do to just kill off the memories. The more i hate her, the more i want her. I'm confused, pls help me

Hi There,

Getting over someone you really loved can be difficult. The first thing you need to do is forgive her. You're not doing this for her, you are doing this for yourself. You have every right to be angry or hate her, but you need to let the anger and hatred go.

Don't spend too much time alone. This is a good time to hang out with family and friends. If you spend too much time alone, you will give yourself lots of time to think about her. Stay occupied.

Go on a few dates. If you have any female friends, go on friendly dates. Have a good time.

Pick up a hobby and keep yourself busy.

PLEASE do not call, text or go see her. Remove her from your life completely. Remind yourself that you are a good man and will find the right woman soon. Don't accept self-pity and don't bring yourself down.

Focus on being the best man you can be. And the day she will run into, she will regret letting you go.

HisRib:

Hi There,

Getting over someone you really loved can be difficult. The first thing you need to do is forgive her. You're not doing this for her, you are doing this for yourself. You have every right to be angry or hate her, but you need to let the anger and hatred go.

Don't spend too much time alone. This is a good time to hang out with family and friends. If you spend too much time alone, you will give yourself lots of time to think about her. Stay occupied.

Go on a few dates. If you have any female friends, go on friendly dates. Have a good time.

Pick up a hobby and keep yourself busy.

PLEASE do not call, text or go see her. Remove her from your life completely. Remind yourself that you are a good man and will find the right woman soon. Don't accept self-pity and don't bring yourself down.

Focus on being the best man you can be. And the day she will run into, she will regret letting you go.

Thanks ma'am. The last thing i want to do is to call her (eventhough i'v been tempted to do so several times). I'v tried and will still try and forgive her cos i know she is not feeling the pains i'm feeling here....so i need to start making myself happy again. I guess it was a lesson worth learning.
Thanks very much ma'am. Have a blissful day ahead

deltateam: Okay my turn!
I was walking behind this girl when all of a sudden,she turned around and gazed at me for about 10 seconds and smiled before looking ahead.I won't lie she is my kind of girl physically and I feel sad and angry at myself for not attempting to make conversation.
I have lost quite a lot of chances like this.What is wrong with me?
I care a lot of what people will say to my detriment.I feel they will look at me as a womanizer and I pretend like I don't care about a girl while dying inside.

Sister please help me overcome this complex.Another problem is I don't have a job and so don't have money to give a girl a nice treat in terms of fast food joint etc at the moment.

Your advice will save a soul.

u didn't answer dis question, op u r nt just gud in wat u r trying 2 do, i appriciate ur effort but u dnt hav d skills

fubbyy: u didn't answer dis question, op u r nt just gud in wat u r trying 2 do, i appriciate ur effort but u dnt hav d skills

You are not my first nor will you be my last client. I'm giving you a service I normally charge for free.

As I told you earlier, if you want the confidence required to approach women, focus on bettering yourself. Find employment and this will help in the self esteem department.

Take Care.

@Op.. Nice work. Keep it up! Now my question.. I've been a very close friend with this girl, we talk about anything you can think of and she really relies on my advice on lots of issues. Fast forward to six months ago, I formally asked her out and she took about a month to "think about it". Finally she agreed and the "love" thing started strongly, continued for about a month then all of a sudden we started drifting apart for no reason.. We don't talk like we used to before we began dating officially, we don't share the things we used to anymore, texting and calling is almost nonexistent now. I don't even know if we are still dating. The funny thing here is that we never fought, its just happening.. We tried to figure out what the issues could be and we discovered that there was no issue.. Why are we more like strangers now in a relationship when we used to be best of friends before?

kokoA: @Op.. Nice work. Keep it up! Now my question.. I've been a very close friend with this girl, we talk about anything you can think of and she really relies on my advice on lots of issues. Fast forward to six months ago, I formally asked her out and she took about a month to "think about it". Finally she agreed and the "love" thing started strongly, continued for about a month then all of a sudden we started drifting apart for no reason.. We don't talk like we used to before we began dating officially, we don't share the things we used to anymore, texting and calling is almost nonexistent now. I don't even know if we are still dating. The funny thing here is that we never fought, its just happening.. We tried to figure out what the issues could be and we discovered that there was no issue.. Why are we more like strangers now in a relationship when we used to be best of friends before?

Hi There,

I have seen many situations such as yours. This actually happens quite often.

This is what happened: You guys were great friends. You had a wonderful friendship, but once you started dating you stopped seeing her as a friend, started seeing her only like a girlfriend and that's what caused the drift.

You need to keep the friendship going because that is the core of your relationship. That's what created your bond. You still need to view each other as friends who can talk about anything and hang around each other at any time.

Start doing the activities you used to do when you were just friends and you'll notice the spark in the relationship will return. For example, if you guys used to stay up talking about your favorite movies/shows when you were just friends, go back to doing that. Just because you're dating doesn't mean you should stop oing the activities you used to do when you were friends.

I always tell my clients the luckiest people are the ones married/dating a person they can call a friend.

But, another thing is, you both could be bored with the relationship or maybe you aren't making any effort to keep the spark alive. Do you plan romantic date nights? Do you still dress well for each other? What do you do to keep things exciting?

Relationships don't just work by themselves. You both need to put in the work required to make it work. Take time to see each other more often, give each other compliments, do sweet things for each other, send each othe cute photos throughout the day and much more. Relationships don't just become successful just because you "love" each other. It takes work and effort from both parties to make it work.

Why don't you plan a romantic evening. Dress up, look your best and invite her out. Have a great time and see if the spark is still there 'cause at the end of the day, it could simply be that you guys are not meant to be together.

I'm even more concerned about her behavior because a woman never gets tired of hearing from her man. In a healthy relationship, a woman gets excited every time her man calls/text her. We get butterflies in our stomach as if it was the very first time. But of course it all depends on our moods and stuff, but I'm sure you get the drift.

My advice to you is to plan something cute/romantic for the both of you to do. If there are no fireworks/sparks at all, the best thing to do would be to move on because this means the relationship is dead.

Good Luck!