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Should parents support teenage relationship for their kids? - Final - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Should parents support teenage relationship for their kids? - Final by Nobody: 2:46am On Dec 01, 2013
These two r very stubborn.
Tgal pls come to our rescue grin

Efe, I know but this Obinoscopy, ur own worse.

How will I even put head
And I'm just logging in.
Let me go and start from the beginning!

Abeg make una go sleep kiss
I dey beg o.
Will be back after reading tru.
Thumbs up, u two!

1 Like

Re: Should parents support teenage relationship for their kids? - Final by Nobody: 2:48am On Dec 01, 2013
shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked Una still dey here?
Re: Should parents support teenage relationship for their kids? - Final by Nobody: 2:52am On Dec 01, 2013
alutacontinua: shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked Una still dey here?
Aluta, I no dey o!
Was too tired yesterday after a trip and slept off.
As I wake up now I say make I put head, the thing dey even scare me to read!
Nobody wan bow.
I dey beg them to stop.
Re: Should parents support teenage relationship for their kids? - Final by Nobody: 2:55am On Dec 01, 2013
yellowpawpaw:
Aluta, I no dey o!
Was too tired yesterday after a trip and slept off.
As I wake up now I say make I put head, the thing dey even scare me to read!
Nobody wan bow.
I dey beg them to stop.

Lol.....
They should sha go to church tomorrow! grin grin
Cos Tgirl already left them till noon tomorrow! lipsrsealed undecided
Efe and Obino, e don do, abeg! I can bet some judges won't even read all that! sad
Re: Should parents support teenage relationship for their kids? - Final by SisiKill1: 3:28am On Dec 01, 2013
Lmao! You two are funny.
Re: Should parents support teenage relationship for their kids? - Final by dayokanu(m): 5:43am On Dec 01, 2013
Two elite debaters

Good points back and forth
Re: Should parents support teenage relationship for their kids? - Final by dayokanu(m): 5:46am On Dec 01, 2013
Both of these debaters stubborn well and they wont give up

If you lock them inside room make dem shaggg demselves na so them go kill each other because no one wants to give in
Re: Should parents support teenage relationship for their kids? - Final by Sagamite(m): 6:23am On Dec 01, 2013
Efemena_xy:
~ drinking of alcoholic beverages
~ smoking of tobacco cigarette
~ Indecency viewing
~ driving (I assume you mean irresponsibly?)
~ gambling
~ possession of firearms
~ voting (what's wrong with voting?)
~ relationship/dating and even marriage.

That's 12 negatives you've tagged on teenagers - don't you think that's a bit much or even worse, you've tarred them all with the same brush? If you in one breath claim that they are custodians of their parents, how then can a teenager be so deeply entrenched in such vices even whilst under their parents' supposed guidance? If anything, does this not tell you that a parent whose teenage child(ren) engage in such activities have failed woefully? And why do you think they'd have failed this much if not for the disengagement of the parent? I mean, if the parent is actively involved in the affairs (I mean day-to-day activities) of their teenagers, how then can the child fall so much along the wayside?

I am trying to read all through before I throw questions to both sides but I saw this and felt the urge to throw a question before I forget.

Anecdoctally, Don't you suspect the kids more likely to engage in such activities tend to be those with parents that are more inclined to be openly supportive of, or nonchalant about, teenage relationship? The free-spirited kind of parents.

That is what I see in society and I think very few would disagree with me.
Re: Should parents support teenage relationship for their kids? - Final by Sagamite(m): 6:26am On Dec 01, 2013
Obi, you talked about mental development and why it justifies a teenager waiting to have a relationship.

What about natural urges?

What about the societal pressures in the increasingly sexualised world we leave in?

Do you think those can be ignored?
Re: Should parents support teenage relationship for their kids? - Final by Sagamite(m): 6:32am On Dec 01, 2013
Efemena_xy:
Yes, relationships can be very emotional - not just for teenagers but for adults and even younger children, so do you not think - based on that, that parental involvement is needed more than ever? Do you not think that teenagers, like every other person deserve to have the listening (and understanding) ear of an adult? And in the absence of that, they turn to their peers (who incidentally know no better) for advice and end up getting the wrong advice?

Well, I grew up in a generation where most of the knowledge about relationship and sex was from peers and near-age older generation relatives/friends. Apart from the time when someone told me that you can take some bush leaves and seeds, chant some specific juju words on them, hit a girl on the butt with the hand used for the ritual and she would instantly follow you and open legs for you to chook, it appears to have done me and my generation no harm. And yes, I tried it, e no work o.

So what can be so wrong if kids learn from peers considering the numerous evidence of many of us learning from peers and the outcome is not bad?

I don't know any girl in my childhood that got pregnant.
Re: Should parents support teenage relationship for their kids? - Final by Sagamite(m): 6:44am On Dec 01, 2013
Obinoscopy: True, all these negatives occurred in the absence of proper parental guidance. This is because proper parental guidance would have entailed discouraging teenage relationships in its entirety

In the increasingly hard world we live in nowadays, how many parents have the time to be able to monitor their kids, especially teenagers, considering both parents might be working and working long hours?
Re: Should parents support teenage relationship for their kids? - Final by SisiKill1: 7:39am On Dec 01, 2013
I don't agree that parents have to be there 24/7 to be able to instill discipline.

I grew up with parents who, because of the nature if their work, traveled constantly and I tell ya no one could convince me it was impossible for them to be aware of my every move from thousands of miles away. We were told what was acceptable and what wasn't. ...no ifs, ands or buts about it.

They were the parent and we were the children. They told us what to do and we did it and I honestly can't remember ever thinking they were mean or strict or whatever else because they made it very clear they were the PARENT. My ma's favorite saying was (and still is) I am doing this because I love you.

In my opinion, I believe what is lacking these days is a firm understanding of what role parents are supposed to play in their children's lives. If the parent isn't clear on that....everything else goes to hell in a hand basket.

My parents were such that I never once forgot they were THE PARENT but it didn't stop me from "yarning" with them about how my day went.... who did what when. Sometimes sef it's from the gisting they find something I did wrong (talk about telling on yourself cheesy )

One doesn't have to be overly liberal to be a good parent neither do they have to be overly militant. A firm understand (for the parent) and clear definition (to the children) of what each party's (especially the parent's) role is will do the trick.

In Short - The parent is the parent not the child's friend. This does not mean the child can't have the parent as a friend. ....alls they gotta do is what the parent expects of them.

NB
With all the weird stories coming out about some nasty parents and their stupid expectations (like whoring their own children out) I feel I should put a clause that the word parent in the above refers to good, loving and normal parents. For children whose parents aren't good, loving and normal (I.e nasty parents who have no qualms leading their own children astray) please look them in the eye and say HELL NO!!
Re: Should parents support teenage relationship for their kids? - Final by EfemenaXY: 9:45am On Dec 01, 2013
Good Morning Sagamite,

Thanks for your questions. Pls find below my responses:

Sagamite:

I am trying to read all through before I throw questions to both sides but I saw this and felt the urge to throw a question before I forget.

Anecdoctally, Don't you suspect the kids more likely to engage in such activities tend to be those with parents that are more inclined to be openly supportive of, or nonchalant about, teenage relationship? The free-spirited kind of parents.

That is what I see in society and I think very few would disagree with me.

My understanding of good parenting is one where the parent(s) are actively involved in their child / teenagers' lives and show genuine concern for the well-being of their offspring. This is achievable by parents working towards having good parent-teen relationships which incidentally includes respect, understanding, trust, and concern. Additionally, teens are less likely to take risks if they have good relationships with their parents.

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/parents/parent-teen-relationships-37999.htm

Parents displaying the characteristics (bolded highlights) of your sentence, do not in anyway constitute good parenting. A caring parent will not be nonchalant or adopt a free-spirited approach to their teenage wards. If anything, such characteristics show that they really can't be bothered and couldn't careless about what their teens get up to. A classical example of such parents are those of Britain's bike-riding, baby-father / teenage mother, underachieving secondary school drop-out and idle, street-lounging drinkers and substance-abusing yobs.

These teenagers certainly do not come from households with supportive parents neither do they have good relationships with their parents hence the tendency to indulge in the vices listed by my co-debater.

Sagamite:

Well, I grew up in a generation where most of the knowledge about relationship and sex was from peers and near-age older generation relatives/friends. Apart from the time when someone told me that you can take some bush leaves and seeds, chant some specific words on them, hit a girl on the butt with the hand used for the ritual and she would instantly open legs for you to chook, it appears to have done me and my generation no harm. And yes, I tried it, e no work o.

So what can be so wrong if kids learn from peers considering the numerous evidence of many of us learning from peers and the outcome is not bad?

I don't know any girl in my childhood that got pregnant.

Interesting comment you have here. Now let's take a look at the highlighted bit: your knowledge about sex and relationships was obtained from peers, older generation family and friends - not solely from peers.

Unfortunately, many teens get all of their knowledge from peers in the absence of parental guidance. When in the company of peers, the pressure to fit in is huge on these teenagers and in order to do just that (fit in), they are prone to indulging in behaviours that may not be physically or emotionally healthy for them. Here are some interesting statistics about peer pressure:

~ The Adolescent Substance Abuse Knowledge Base reports that right around 30% if teens are offered drugs in middle school and high school.

~ According to the National Household Survey on Drug Use and Health from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 74.3% of high school students have tried alcohol.

~ 3.1 million teenagers smoke, according to the American Lung Association.

~ The Kaiser Foundation reports that about 50% of teenagers feel pressured with regard to sex in relationships.


The report goes on to acknowledge that there will always be a certain amount of peer pressure faced by teenagers, but this can be combated by their parents if they (the parents) adopt the following approach:

** Open lines of communication: It is vital that you be understanding and approachable. Teenagers are afraid to come to those who are judgmental or who will subject them to ridicule. Establish a practice of speaking with your child regularly, and listening. Sometimes, your child just needs to feel that you are listening.

** Have clear expectations: Start when your children are young to have clear expectations for their behavior. Talk to your kids and teens about different subjects of interest.

** Know their friends: Get to know your teen’s friends. You should also try to get to know your friends’ parents. Try to make your home an inviting place for your children to bring their friends, so that you can keep an eye on them. Be there for your teen to talk to, and discuss activities that their friends may be involved in, and their inappropriateness if necessary.

** Be involved: Show your teen that you care. Attend after school activities and sporting events. Listen to them talk about their lives. Show that you are interested in what they are doing. Take time to be together as a family. Teenagers who are involved with their families and have good support systems are less likely to succumb to peer pressure.

** Talk about the issues: Talk about what is going on with others your kids’ ages. Talk about issues including teen drug use, alcohol, sex and other items. Talk about issues ranging from what’s going on with academics and local politics to how to make better decisions. This can facilitate conversations and help you make clear your expectations.

** Pick your battles: Understand that some things are less important than others. Letting your teen wear all black or listen to the latest music is less of an issue in many cases. If your teen is not showing deviant behavior, and continues to do well in school, what he or she wears or listens to may not be worth an argument. Your teen will be more willing to listen to you when it really matters if you avoid nit-picking when it doesn’t.


http://www.familyfirstaid.org/issues/peer-pressure/

As can be seen, parental input cannot be underestimated and is by far the preferable choice for teaching teenagers, rather than completely leaving them to their own devices or worse still, to their peers who know no better - and this forms the essence of my argument here - parental involvement though support.
Re: Should parents support teenage relationship for their kids? - Final by Obinoscopy(m): 9:45am On Dec 01, 2013
Sagamite:

In the increasingly hard world we live in nowadays, how many parents have the time to be able to monitor their kids, especially teenagers, considering both parents might be working and working long hours?
Parents don't have to monitor their kids for 24 hours to be able to instil the necessary virtues and self-discipline in them. All they need is to tell their teenage kid the dangers of relationships and give them reasons why they should wait until they are of age before having a relationship. I believe effective mentorship, education, counselling and bonding is enough. Even parental monitoring, which is also important, should be less invasive so as respect the kids privacy
Re: Should parents support teenage relationship for their kids? - Final by Nobody: 9:46am On Dec 01, 2013
Re: Should parents support teenage relationship for their kids? - Final by Nobody: 11:13am On Dec 01, 2013
Sagamite:
Anecdoctally, Don't you suspect the kids more likely to engage in such activities tend to be those with parents that are more inclined to be openly supportive of, or nonchalant about, teenage relationship? The free-spirited kind of parents.
That is what I see in society and I think very few would disagree with me.
Pls debators and judges, do disregard me cos I think its not yet time to ask questions but I'm very interested in this post.

Sagamite, I completely disagree with u.
I'm not going to qoute any journal but give u instances from my life as a teen, volunteer counselor to teens and topics from nairaland
I hope u r conversant with what we call teen rebellion?
Most teen rebels r such bc they were stiffled of their freedom. Meet any teen pregnant gal for counseling. Her biggest fear is her parent. Tha fear has been instilled in her previously by the parents tru the various authoritative commands like,"don't do this or that or .........", so out of rebellion once its done, the teen would rather want to die or run away from house. Anywhere apart from being near her parents.

As a teeneger, ur hormones r raging, u may probably don't know what is happening to u. The secondary sexual character is fast manifesting and u r even afraid to tell ur parents u r constantly thinking of Jonny ur nebor.
How can u when its a taboo?

I grew up with a very liberal parent. In my side and religion, its strongly adviced against women wearing trouser or painting nails.
I can vividly remember the day my mum publicaly rebuked one woman for calling me ashewo bc I wore trouser. I was going somewhere with my mum and one of those holier than thou kind of woman said I dressed like ashewo.
Can u imagine that? Funny enuf but true, her second daughter gave birth to two boys between b4 age 21. And the fathers were teens too. The father to the first boy was so crushed and ridiculed he ran away from his aunty's place where he was living. Had it been they were educated and allowed to flow very well with d supervision of the parents, none of that would hv happened.

No guy, who ever want to do something with me will ever succeed outside my compound. My house is my santuary.Infact it was widely known in my place even as an adult that I can never go to a man's house, rather come to my house is our policy and it helped me a lot.
I will digress a little. I started having opposite sex pressure at a very tender age. Had it been I wasn't trained well, I don't think I would hv been alive. Maybe one quack dr would hv ended my life.Funny enuf some guys wanted to buy over my mum when they noticed I don't bart an eyelid. My mummy tutored me well.
She showed me her teen boyfriend one day. Mum married a virgin. So its not all about sex. I was very free with my mum that wen I decided to do that thing as an adult, I told her. Gat it? Even when I was under financial pressure at a point, I still choose not to follow that popular way bc of my home training.

As per nairaland, I strongly hope that u will take a break sometimes from where u normally frequent to romance section. That speaks for itself.

So pls don't say free minded parents tend to get it wrong. U teach and discipline while being liberal.
Abeg make una no vex.
This topic is very important.

CC, I c u!
Don't worry, I will do the needful kiss
Re: Should parents support teenage relationship for their kids? - Final by Tgirl4real(f): 12:12pm On Dec 01, 2013
Hello all,

The debate is still very much active. Kindly limit comments to questions ONLY. Personal opinion can come in later.

Thanks.


@ Debaters,

you have till 4pm to ask and answer all questions.


Regards.
Re: Should parents support teenage relationship for their kids? - Final by Nobody: 1:27pm On Dec 01, 2013
Efemena_xy:
Good evening judges, my co-debater, and viewers. Based on the above premises, I (Contestant 1) would be advocating the notion that parents should support teenage relationships for their kids for the following reasons:


Identity formation: Understandably, the teen years are a time of identity development and assertion, and dating can be an integral part of developing a healthy sense of self. Prior to the teenage years, most kids or pre-teens don't quite know how to date. However, through practice, they learn the give-and-take of relationships and test out various ways of relating to others. By the time they reach their teenage years, they would have understood the basics and should be much more grounded.

Improvement of social skills: As teens become more experienced and mature, they can reap many benefits from becoming involved in relationships and whilst doing this, they learn about different habits of the opposite sex, practice their communication and social skills, and become involved in new interests and hobbies.

Understanding cause and effect of choices made: Interestingly, through relationships they learn how their decisions affect others; they develop emotionally as they figure out who they are and what their values are. Equally important are their interpersonal skills such as such as the ability to negotiate and empathize, and learning to apologize and forgive, are enhanced as teens give and receive emotional support through their involvement.


Hi Efe.

In your essay, these were the only three reasons given why parents should support teenage relationships. However, all these skills can very easily be acquired outside dating/romantic relationships. Would you further explain why you feel they are so essential within the context of teenage dating as to override the many disadvantages like decreased academic performance, emotional turmoil, increased risk taking behaviors and risks of potential sexual intercourse at this age?

Second question. I note that the large bulk of your essay came from your first reference which is specifically about teenage dating. However, during the rebuttals, you put more emphasis on normal day to day relationships in classrooms, work, social activities between multiple people. Why is this so? I don't feel there would be a need to debate whether parents should allow their teenagers interact with their classmates as that is pretty straightforward and non controversial. Would you explain better why you focused so much on non dating/romantic relationships which is not the topic of discussion today?
Re: Should parents support teenage relationship for their kids? - Final by Nobody: 1:46pm On Dec 01, 2013
Obinoscopy: [color=blue]Once again, I am most honored to be given the opportunity to speak on a topic I so cherish: Teenage relationship. My esteemed Judges, illustrious coordinators, fellow contestants, informed audience, all other protocols duly observed, I remain my humble self, Obinoscopy (Contestant 2), and I am indeed honored and privileged to, yet again, make this epic presentation/debate. Teenage relationship, in the context of this debate, is a loving, romantic and/or sexual friendship between two people of opposite sex who are within the age range of 13 to 19 years. I had purposely included the term ‘opposite sex’ in my definition so as to limit my presentation to heterosexual relationship thereby precluding homosexual relationship. Homosexual relationship among teenagers is a very vast, sensitive and controversial topic that should be beyond the scope of this presentation. I would suggest that such topic needs to be presented separately and not merged with today’s topic of discuss. A teenager is said to be in a transitional phase from childhood into adulthood, he/she is not yet an adult and as such is still under the custody of his parent/guardian. A teenager, in his quest to becoming an adult before his time, seek to engage in adult activities such as drinking of alcoholic beverages, smoking of tobacco cigarette, pornography viewing, driving, gambling, possession of firearms, voting, relationship/dating and even marriage. He is oblivious of his unpreparedness for such adult activities, thus the need for his parent to guide him appropriately lest he falls. The parent should NEVER support him in his quest for such adult activities especially that which concerns the topic of discuss: Teenage relationship. Although I understand the need for emotional autonomy and identity formation among the teenagers, I believe they can wait till their eighteenth year before they could experiment with such idea of emotional autonomy and sexual identity via teenage relationship.


Hello Obinoscopy.

I would like to address the use of the word 'never' in your essay. It would appear that you are not accounting for the individuality of teenagers. If you consider 2 teenagers of opposing personalities. One is a responsible, A 17yr honor roll student, mature for her age, understands the negative consequences of bad decisions in dating and has resolved to avoid them at all cost and is completely free and open with you as a parent. Yet there is this niggling problem called attraction to the opposite sex which is a constant issue that comes up in teenagers. If she would like to date a responsible guy under your supervision, why would you think you should never support this.

On the flip side, if you have a rebellious type of teenager who goes against your rules and dates anyway, wouldn't you be doing more harm than good by trying to make him/her stop dating since you will never support it than by drawing closer to him/her and providing ongoing guidance? Yes, a teenager may be oblivious to the gravity of the dangers of some activities, but the adult is not and you could fill in a role of providing direction if need be versus shutting them out.
Re: Should parents support teenage relationship for their kids? - Final by Nobody: 1:50pm On Dec 01, 2013
Obinoscopy: You'll lose the bond with your kid the very moment you decide to let him or her be involved in a relationship. A renowned psychologist by name Furman in one of his presentations stated that a teenage kid is more likely to consider the advice of his partner than his parent. Same goes for his peers

Would you like to clarify/adjust this false statement? Even the words from the psychologist that you referenced does not support that extreme statement. A teenage kid being more likely to consider the advice of a partner over a parent does not mean the parent loses the bond immediately.
Re: Should parents support teenage relationship for their kids? - Final by Obinoscopy(m): 1:53pm On Dec 01, 2013
Now that aside, are you saying that parents of non-heterosexual teenagers should take a back-seat in their child's lives with regards to relationships simply because you choose to sideline them? Those teenagers do not require parental guidance?
I have given you my perspective as regards the role of parents of non-heterosexual teenagers concerning relationships. Now let me have yours. Picture this case scenario:

A boy of 14 years confides in mum that he has a wierd attraction towards a fellow guy of 14 years. He went ahead to tell you that this friend of his is inviting him for a holiday vacation in the States.

What would you recommend the parents of the guy to do?
Re: Should parents support teenage relationship for their kids? - Final by Nobody: 1:58pm On Dec 01, 2013
Efemena_xy:

I fail to see the purpose of that quotation of yours or the point you're making? 47.8% of U.S High School Students reported having sexual intercourse. Okay. So what about it?


Is it my understanding that you see nothing wrong with these numbers?
Re: Should parents support teenage relationship for their kids? - Final by Obinoscopy(m): 2:03pm On Dec 01, 2013
ileobatojo:

Would you like to clarify/adjust this false statement? Even the words from the psychologist that you referenced does not support that extreme statement. A teenage kid being more likely to consider the advice of a partner over a parent does not mean the parent loses the bond immediately.
I agree its in the extreme if you take the meaning of my statement literAlly. However the message I intended passing across is that the parent-teenage bond will fizzle out with time. The effect will not be immediate but it will eventually happen and the existing bond will disappear
Re: Should parents support teenage relationship for their kids? - Final by Nobody: 2:03pm On Dec 01, 2013
Obinoscopy: I have given you my perspective as regards the role of parents of non-heterosexual teenagers concerning relationships. Now let me have yours. Picture this case scenario:

A boy of 14 years confides in mum that he has a wierd attraction towards a fellow guy of 14 years. He went ahead to tell you that this friend of his is inviting him for a holiday vacation in the States.

What would you recommend the parents of the guy to do?

Are you responding to Efe? Because if you are, I believe you guys' time for rebuttals to each other is over. We are now in the stage of judges and audience questions. Please let us not disrupt the flow of things.

Please disregard if you were responding to someone else and not Efe.
Re: Should parents support teenage relationship for their kids? - Final by Nobody: 2:09pm On Dec 01, 2013
Obinoscopy: I agree its in the extreme if you take the meaning of my statement literAlly. However the message I intended passing across is that the parent-teenage bond will fizzle out with time. The effect will not be immediate but it will eventually happen and the existing bond will disappear

Erm no. It is not extreme because I am taking it literally. It is extreme because you deliberately presented it so. How can you claim that losing the bond the moment your teenager starts dating means the same as the bond will fizzle over time. That contradiction is clear as day. There is nothing like taking literally here. You made it very literal. A simple correction/adjustment of your original statement will do.
Re: Should parents support teenage relationship for their kids? - Final by Obinoscopy(m): 2:23pm On Dec 01, 2013
ileobatojo:

Hello Obinoscopy.

I would like to address the use of the word 'never' in your essay. It would appear that you are not accounting for the individuality of teenagers. If you consider 2 teenagers of opposing personalities. One is a responsible, A 17yr honor roll student, mature for her age, understands the negative consequences of bad decisions in dating and has resolved to avoid them at all cost and is completely free and open with you as a parent. Yet there is this niggling problem called attraction to the opposite sex which is a constant issue that comes up in teenagers. If she would like to date a responsible guy under your supervision, why would you think you should never support this.

On the flip side, if you have a rebellious type of teenager who goes against your rules and dates anyway, wouldn't you be doing more harm than good by trying to make him/her stop dating since you will never support it than by drawing closer to him/her and providing ongoing guidance? Yes, a teenager may be oblivious to the gravity of the dangers of some activities, but the adult is not and you could fill in a role of providing direction if need be versus shutting them out.
I will address your question in the first paragraph first before addressing that of the second paragragh

I did take into account the individualities and complexities of each teenager. I gave an age range of 18 years till 24 years. Its the parent/guardian responsibilty to know if their teenage kid is matured and responsible at the age of 18. If the kid is matured and responsible, I believe he/she can be allowed to go into a relationship. If not, the parent would still have to discourage such immature kid until the age of 24 or thereabout (unless the kid becomes transformed before such age). So in your first case scenario I'll let her go into a relationship with that guy once she's 18 years

Regarding your second case scenario, I believe the parent didn't play their role well for the guy to go into such relationship. But since he's in the relationship, it would be wrong to disown such kid. The parent to such kid should keep on advicing him, in a very soft manner, not to continue with such relationship. They could also invite people the kid revers to help them mentor and counsel their kid. But if he remains adamant, then the parent has no other option than to guide him through the murky waters of teenage relationship and pray he makes it through smiley.
Re: Should parents support teenage relationship for their kids? - Final by Obinoscopy(m): 2:42pm On Dec 01, 2013
ileobatojo:

Erm no. It is not extreme because I am taking it literally. It is extreme because you deliberately presented it so. How can you claim that losing the bond the moment your teenager starts dating means the same as the bond will fizzle over time. That contradiction is clear as day. There is nothing like taking literally here. You made it very literal. A simple correction/adjustment of your original statement will do.
Okay let's look at it this way:

If the parent-teenage bond was 55%
Peer-teenage bond was 45%
Partner-teenage bond was 0%

The very moment the teenage starts off a romantic relationship with a partner, the resulting bonding could be represented numerically as follows:

Parent-teenage bond becomes 25%
Peer-teenage bon becomes 35%
Partner-teenage bond becomes 40%

So you can observe the drop in the bonding in both the parent and peer bonding. The parent has obviously lost the leading role. Meaning the teenager will listen to his peers or partner more than his parent. With time the percent will ultimately fizzle out to 0%
Re: Should parents support teenage relationship for their kids? - Final by pickabeau1: 2:49pm On Dec 01, 2013
Oboy!
Re: Should parents support teenage relationship for their kids? - Final by Nobody: 2:53pm On Dec 01, 2013
Obinoscopy: Okay let's look at it this way:

If the parent-teenage bond was 55%
Peer-teenage bond was 45%
Partner-teenage bond was 0%

The very moment the teenage starts off a romantic relationship with a partner, the resulting bonding could be represented numerically as follows:

Parent-teenage bond becomes 25%
Peer-teenage bon becomes 35%
Partner-teenage bond becomes 40%

So you can observe the drop in the bonding in both the parent and peer bonding. The parent has obviously lost the leading role. Meaning the teenager will listen to his peers or partner more than his parent. With time the percent will ultimately fizzle out to 0%

Lol. cheesy

Okay.

But why is this fizzling of the bond only limited to teenage relationships? Why doesn't the bond between an adult and their parent ultimately fizzle out to zero after they get married for instance? grin
Re: Should parents support teenage relationship for their kids? - Final by Obinoscopy(m): 2:55pm On Dec 01, 2013
ileobatojo:

Are you responding to Efe? Because if you are, I believe you guys' time for rebuttals to each other is over. We are now in the stage of judges and audience questions. Please let us not disrupt the flow of things.

Please disregard if you were responding to someone else and not Efe.
Oh apologies. It was actually a question (not a rebuttal) addressed to Efe. I had thought the coodinator allowed the debaters to ask questions. I acted based on this post by the coodinator:

Tgirl4real: Hello all,

The debate is still very much active. Kindly limit comments to questions ONLY. Personal opinion can come in later.

Thanks.


@ Debaters,

you have till 4pm to ask and answer all questions.



Regards.
However since I've been clarified by you, I guess I'll have to withdraw the question. Apologies once again
Re: Should parents support teenage relationship for their kids? - Final by SisiKill1: 3:08pm On Dec 01, 2013
Obinoscopy: I have given you my perspective as regards the role of parents of non-heterosexual teenagers concerning relationships. Now let me have yours. Picture this case scenario:

A boy of 14 years confides in mum that he has a wierd attraction towards a fellow guy of 14 years. He went ahead to tell you that this friend of his is inviting him for a holiday vacation in the States.

What would you recommend the parents of the guy to do?

First of all, I believe the scenario you painted can apply to both hetro and homo sexual relationships. Secondly is it your contention that stopping the child from dating will automatically erase those feelings? If yes....how? If no....what has the parents' actions achieved? The latter part of my question can be expanded to this - How does your NO TO DATING stance deal with that feeling of attraction.

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