Hello Nairalanders,good day to u all and how u doing??I'm very new here and I welcome myself...Pls I really need ur help..iv bin in a relationship for 3years now(I met him wen we wr still in sch)he is my first and only boyfriend who I v never cheated on.I was always there for him back in school,I shared the little I received with him and I prayed for him.I was so faithful to him and very proud and he was appreciative but the problem he had was he's a jealous typ so he was suspecting me always..wen we finished school,we went to our seperate homes,he is based in abj while I'm based in lagos.distance seperated us so wen we had issues,we try to settle thru the phone but its not enuf cos it keeps coming..wev broken up many tyms due to this distance thin I know cos of the issues wev bin having..iv only gone to see him once durin my service year,I rounded up June but since then,we havnt seen and he really wants us to b seein eachother ever since school..There was a tym he told me he was gettin tired I an indirect way but I coded n I understood with him.he has told me he wants to visit me in lagos before but I told him not to come cos my family won't let it at all..to cut the story short,recently,I told him It seems I will get a job in Abj very soon,so will b comin around but I don't know whr to stay so he suggested I stay in his house but few seconds later wen I said I can't cos his mum won't let a lady stay,he changed his mind saying he can't even allow a lady like me stay in his house bla bla bla etc..(Guess he was pretendin or so).a week later,he told me he doesn't love me anymore I should look for a man who does but I asked him if it is distance causin this whole thin but he denied it..but the issue here is,he once asked me to help get a job for him in my dad's organisation and I'm tryin to get him another but I just realised he is working somewhr..wonder y he wants me to help get in my dad's place..sometyms I feel distance is makin him so confused or so..dats y he is sayin all these junks to me..I told him I was comin to Abj but he told me I shouldn't try to get a job in Abj because of him o...so pls Nairalanders,I really want to know,do u think he still really loves me or distance should b blamed or something??.I m still in contact with him sha to give him any information..pls help.I forgot to say he is a very emotional person who gets hurt easily.but face to face communication is always needed to solve problems but there is none cos of distance Thanks.I'm sorry I didn't add dis,I say he is confused n distance is causin this cos there were tyms he said he loves me den he said he doesn't but wen I visited him,he was happy to see me so we trashed some issues but I didn't stay long with him cos I needed to face my work(report back) but I reaallly knew dat he felt it deep down inside dat he wish I won't leave so he won't v to miss me badly again but he didn't show it all he said was he was happy very happy I came.wish I m based there or he is based here.this won't v happened..I know there is a chance.

Distance is a big problem. I'm in a similar situation buh I'd love to hear Nairalnders Views too.

Welcome.
I don't think it's the distance.

distance relationships don't exist, if he's gone, he gone for good.

dayleke: Welcome.
I don't think it's the distance.

pls wat do u think??.I heard from a friend of his dat he normally brings up my name anytym they r discussing(dat was late last year.

dayleke: Welcome.
I don't think it's the distance.

pls wat do u think??.I heard from a friend of his dat he normally brings up my name anytym they r discussing(dat was late last year.he once told me he cnt marry who he cnt see

This guy is tired of you. Accept it and move on!
Distance has its own problems but not the 'i don't love you anymore' kind of problems!

alutacontinua: This guy is tired of you. Accept it and move on!
Distance has its own problems but not the 'i don't love you anymore' kind of problems!

I feel he still loves me.he just said so cos of d situation.but y does he want to work wit my dad then?

Sweetest lady: I feel he still loves me.he just said so cos of d situation.but y does he want to work wit my dad then?

U're still in denial stage.
When u're ready for advice, COME BACK, I'LL BE RIGHT HERE!

You seem consistent but the guy doesn't. Don't take a relationship that a guy doesn't put his heart into seriously. If you do, be prepared for a heartbreak sooner or later.

My dear, stop trying to see something where there's nothing. This guy has told you he doesn't love you anymore and you are saying he does. Do you want him to get mean with you before you get the message? I know break-ups are hard, but its always best to accept it and move on. But before then I think you guys need to see and thrash things out.

Sweetest lady: I feel he still loves me.he just said so cos of d situation.but y does he want to work wit my dad then?

long distance relationship is one ting!
'l dont luv you' is anoda!

When sombody begins to ask for favours in a relation,brings issues.most expecialy avoiding u and has said 'i dont luv u'.he is out to clean shop!
Move on wit ur life!
Try not to assume he luvs anymore he said he doesnt.
Move on!

Distance !!! Make your partner suspect every move you take.

Well I think he is confused and mostly distance make the weaker to be confused more, its certain you want the relationship more than him or he has a focus in the relationship but it seems is not archievable for him now.

Get yourself a place to sleep in abuja then go for a visit, there are many amusement park where you can scod eachother and settle the problem. What matter most is be sure he really love you.

* to me its very hyper bad to be in a relationship within the country and you won't see for 3 months talkless of six months *

NB: love grows gradually and it dies gradually also

I feel ur pain OP. These relationships are especially hard and I know where you're coming from. Nevertheless, your guy seems to have gotten out of this picture: he is off you. As much as you've still got feelings for him & want the relationship to work, do not waste your time.
He might still feel smtg for you but he doesn't seem to want you and you can't force him even if you two work in the same place. I'd advice you to just lay off him and take care of you cuz there's prbly someone much more deserving of you at the door right now, a man who'd cherish and love you.

pasqal09: distance relationships don't exist, if he's gone, he gone for good.

Make God sugar your milk bros. You've just vomit my mind.

wazobia_for_u: Distance !!! Make your partner suspect every move you take.

Well I think he is confused and mostly distance make the weaker to be confused more, its certain you want the relationship more than him or he has a focus in the relationship but it seems is not archievable for him now.

Get yourself a place to sleep in abuja then go for a visit, there are many amusement park where you can scod eachother and settle the problem. What matter most is be sure he really love you.

* to me its very hyper bad to be in a relationship within the country and you won't see for 3 months talkless of six months *

NB: love grows gradually and it dies gradually also

..sure.thank u so much dat is what I will do..he is really confused..he even got angry cos I didn't get anything for him on his birthday,recently accordin to him 'that he can see and keep with him'.he has been suspectin me cos he knows I'm beautiful n every man wants to have me and he isn't there to confirm if I'm cheatin or not. His friend told me he really likes meI am ready to take the bold step to meet him and iron things out with me so he can reeally know me better so there won't b issues of heart break anymore..He is indirectly lookin for a way to b seein me by askin me to help him get a position in my dad's organisation.. Thanks a lot to this imprtant Ad.

Madam you just gave us the handwriting on the wall. Best advice from a certified mad man, walk away from him and be heartwarming cause if he does (which i think he is now but hasn't gathered the mind to tell you) you'll be heartbroken. So choose wisely.

yesboss20: I feel ur pain OP. These relationships are especially hard and I know where you're coming from. Nevertheless, your guy seems to have gotten out of this picture: he is off you. As much as you've still got feelings for him & want the relationship to work, do not waste your time.
He might still feel smtg for you but he doesn't seem to want you and you can't force him even if you two work in the same place. I'd advice you to just lay off him and take care of you cuz there's prbly someone much more deserving of you at the door right now, a man who'd cherish and love you.

thanks Love

Godmother: My dear, stop trying to see something where there's nothing. This guy has told you he doesn't love you anymore and you are saying he does. Do you want him to get mean with you before you get the message? I know break-ups are hard, but its always best to accept it and move on. But before then I think you guys need to see and thrash things out.

I know wen we do trash things out,it will b ok between us..I will try and see him atleast make him know I m not even cheAtin on him because he is not secure.he hurts himself a lot..

His not straight, most probably he has concluded a long time ago that the relationship wil end nowhere and he has decided to move on though his wondering if he cld gain some favour from you still. Hence, hiz trying to be here and there.
Who knows maybe when you guyz see and he getz a reminder of just how beautiful you are, insecurities wil set in again and he would want to reconsider sticking with you but that will b just so he doesn't lose to another man

Well that kind of man is no good to you. If distance chips in once again, hez gona bolt yet again. So nope, move on and 4get about your relationship with him but you can still help him get a job if you can

Sweetest lady: I know wen we do trash things out,it will b ok between us..I will try and see him atleast make him know I m not even cheAtin on him because he is not secure.he hurts himself a lot..

young lady!u are not his wife and he is nt ur dad!u are nt under any obligatn to hurt urself to please him.u av over and u ar over commiting resources in a relationship where a guy cannt and does nt want to trust u and has TOLD U HE DOESNT LUV U.
MOVE ON!
Dont hurt urself!

ivyy: His not straight, most probably he has concluded a long time ago that the relationship wil end nowhere and he has decided to move on though his wondering if he cld gain some favour from you still. Hence, hiz trying to be here and there.
Who knows maybe when you guyz see and he getz a reminder of just how beautiful you are, insecurities wil set in again and he would want to reconsider sticking with you but that will b just so he doesn't lose to another man

Well that kind of man is no good to you. If distance chips in once again, hez gona bolt yet again. So nope, move on and 4get about your relationship with him but you can still help him get a job if you can

thanks a million bulk

Gbajabiamila1: Distance is a big problem. I'm in a similar situation buh I'd love to hear Nairalnders Views too.

ok..

baralatie:
young lady!u are not his wife and he is nt ur dad!u are nt under any obligatn to hurt urself to please him.u av over and u ar over commiting resources in a relationship where a guy cannt and does nt want to trust u and has TOLD U HE DOESNT LUV U.
MOVE ON!
Dont hurt urself!

.wen we meet to iron issues,I will know d verdict...I sure do know dat the perfect relationships don't always come so easy,if he is for me,destiny will make him come back to stay,never to leave. Iv done a lot for him,shown him the true love men seek.

Sweetest lady: pls wat do u think??.I heard from a friend of his dat he normally brings up my name anytym they r discussing(dat was late last year.

u need to be strong.

1. Its not the distance in any way. Distance dnt stop anybody.

2. He is just riddled with 'ego' issues. i knw his type. He will go dead if u leave him..

3. Dnt go to abuja because of him..go because u wanted to. Arrange for where to stay and tell him u av arrived. If he asked u not to come to him, stay, if he comes, welcome him.

4. He is playing on ur emotion. He knws u really like him and wldnt stand loosing him. The diff btw both of u is: he was able to conceal his, u are not.
And trying to conceal one's feeling in a relationship ain't a good option. When it back fires, u are an example of wot cld happen....

Lastly: don't get him a job in ur dad's place. Let him work and strive wherever he can for the time being.

U need to be a strong lady.
If he says 'bye', say 'ok'...and dnt flinch....

Am in a short distance relationship(meaning we are both based in lagos but live very far apart) but even with that we hvnt seen for like 2months now reason because the last time I visited we almost had sex. You see I think the guy is confused cos some times I act funny too but my love is very patient with me and when she reassures me of her love for me, I begin to wonder what made me say what I said earlier . So just be patient and also pray. There is a possibility he is scared of the unseen danger. Am a guy and I know what guys discuss about women and for the fact that you parents are okay and based in lagos could add more fear here by making him say things at random without deep thought

The Lord is your strength.

You don't gerrit. Do you? This guy is over you, he probably has gotten another babe right here in abj.. He's acting like he still wants you because of the favour you might offer him, from what I can gather from your story, it seems you parents are quite well to do.. That's what's keeping is/has been keeping him with you. If you are as beautiful as you claim then give him distance even when you relocate to abj, if he really loves you he will look for you else move on! Well, I am a specialist in "moving on" and I reside in abj I will be willing to help you o..

kokoA: You don't gerrit. Do you? This guy is over you, he probably has gotten another babe right here in abj.. He's acting like he still wants you because of the favour you might offer him, from what I can gather from your story, it seems you parents are quite well to do.. That's what's keeping is/has been keeping him with you. If you are as beautiful as you claim then give him distance even when you relocate to abj, if he really loves you he will look for you else move on! Well, I am a specialist in "moving on" and I reside in abj I will be willing to help you o..

kokoA: You don't gerrit. Do you? This guy is over you, he probably has gotten another babe right here in abj.. He's acting like he still wants you because of the favour you might offer him, from what I can gather from your story, it seems you parents are quite well to do.. That's what's keeping is/has been keeping him with you. If you are as beautiful as you claim then give him distance even when you relocate to abj, if he really loves you he will look for you else move on! Well, I am a specialist in "moving on" and I reside in abj I will be willing to help you o..

Yes distance is a big problem for him.The reason he is confuse is because of he is emotional.So the best way for him to keep his sanity was to deny the relationship ever exist.Such men who are emotional cannot stand or have long distance relationship.Also you made things worst by never being there for him.So you need to ask yourself are you ready and willing to be there for him.Secondly you both need to define where the relationship is heading to.Your decision to relocate to abj should be based on merit and not on your relationship.

Please it is not advisable for you to live under his parents Shelter when he has not paid your pride price.There is nothing wrong in you helping him secure a good job but it shouldnt be because you want him to get married to you.


On a final note you need to ask yourself what you really want out of the relationship and be ready to commit to it.Secondly you both need to sit down and ask yourself where the relationship is heading?This can only happen if you make yourself available.

Sweetest lady: .wen we meet to iron issues,I will know d verdict...I sure do know dat the perfect relationships don't always come so easy,if he is for me,destiny will make him come back to stay,never to leave. Iv done a lot for him,shown him the true love men seek.

remember no one luv u pas God.no mata u outcome of ur meeting.
And ask God To Take charge.

SLIDE waxie: u need to be strong.

1. Its not the distance in any way. Distance dnt stop anybody.

2. He is just riddled with 'ego' issues. i knw his type. He will go dead if u leave him..

3. Dnt go to abuja because of him..go because u wanted to. Arrange for where to stay and tell him u av arrived. If he asked u not to come to him, stay, if he comes, welcome him.

4. He is playing on ur emotion. He knws u really like him and wldnt stand loosing him. The diff btw both of u is: he was able to conceal his, u are not.
And trying to conceal one's feeling in a relationship ain't a good option. When it back fires, u are an example of wot cld happen....

Lastly: don't get him a job in ur dad's place. Let him work and strive wherever he can for the time being.

U need to be a strong lady.
If he says 'bye', say 'ok'...and dnt flinch....

thanks much..