Indeed

virago:

We are not rare and we abound everywhere.

yellowpawpaw: Baby mama, let's not c it that way. Most pple living in duplex today started like that.
Lots of us folks here r not born with silver spoon.
If he and d wife hv good management and saving skills and earnestly want to better their lifes, its just a matter of time for them to start climbing.
He even has a job of up to 50k.
Naija is a messed up country. But man must marry naw.

No homo feelings, I love you.

alutacontinua:

I don't blame them!
You guys only come here to cite the ones that ended well...stories also abound of women that got dumped for another woman after going through all the sacrifice!

aluta, you are right. Not all end well. But a lady waiting for a billionaire MAY wait forever. @chillsauce, i no bd woman na! Na many of them. Unu na-eti umu nwoke na nsogbu too much.

LOL!!!!

skyfall: @OP

While I agree that you may actually marry and survive on your salary until things (hopefully) get better, Nairaland is not where to find the kind of wife you need. Your salary is not enough to buy a mobile phone or human hair for the kind of girls that are mostly here. The other type of women here are those desperados (who are probably much older than you) and will marry virtually any available man. You obviously don't want that.

Only a woman who knows you well can understand your situation and agree to marry you. I know it's hard to find a good woman but talk to friends, responsible women that you know, your church members etc. Someone will definitely introduce you to a lady someday. But you also have to be patient. Don't set any deadline - you risk marrying the wrong person that way. 31 is not too old at all. Try and develop yourself while waiting; maybe learn a skill. Not all of us will get good salary jobs. I wish you the best.

joyidarauko: Must be a graduate , you u think is everyone that went to school, u can see ome of the good girls but are not graduate but are educating and can speak good command of English so just pray to God for a child of God not saying Graduate , or can't u marry her and send her to school, just be prayerful I wish u best

the op stated the kind of woman he is looking for,do u have a problem with that?



P.s ******na by force to speak english?***RIP ENGLISH!!!edit ur post now!!!!!before english teachers go come start to dey derail this thread.

kuly, shizzle were really entertaining...

of course sweetlemon with her business tips TO BE LIKE DANGOTE... epic!

sucess001:


Just so u knw...adenuga married his wife whilst still driving a taxi in the united states...

Like seriously are you for real

A taxi driver in the US is about 50 times ahead of a 60-70k a month earner here!!!

Now let's go back to Adenuga, after his wife finished suffering with him while he was a taxi driver, how did he pay her back? By marrying other women and having various baby mamas here and there? I know MANY cases like that my dear!

You see why I say marrying a broke guy is most times not worth it??

[b][/b]

Zer0:

Do not be deceived. It costs money to rent a house, provide decent meals at least twice daily, pay good fees for good schools for your children and other miscelleanous expenses. Trust me 60k won't do that.

My gross earning per annun is over 2.5 million. I live in Abj and my rent is 1m per annum. Then havd 4 siblings who are dependent on me add other expenses then you may hav an idea. Would you advice i get married?. The answer will be surely No if you have consience.

Everything shouldn't be about what is expected of you to do whdn you reach a certain age in life, it's about managing your situation to get the best off it.


Every man should be Guided by purpose. I wouldn't advice a man to take a wife he can't take care of, or bear children he can't guarantee necessities of life and decent education.

[i][/i]. What is dis one saying

baby_123: You are the one looking for wife. Post your picture here and carry placard that says " I am stop4 and i am looking for a wife in 2014. Baby123 says i should prove my existence". Gbam. Otherwise, who knows, you can be typing from heaven.

.....or from the other side.

Mr Bravo: I am a graduate of computer science since 2007, I earn less than 30k a month and I'm married to the most beautiful woman on earth. If you can't affect lives positively with 30k, then you can't with 30million naira. The kids here will one day grow up to realize that money is not everything. I'm so happy with my life!

Nope, kids will grow up and see that no proper foundation was laid for them. They were brought into this world by their parents to help them in their struggle even though they had nothing to do with.

Willie willie

toprealman:
.....or from the other side.

Thats what makes nl lively ni
some people come here to while away time, and catch fun others came here to fight

pickabeau1: kuly, shizzle were really entertaining...

of course sweetlemon with her business tips TO BE LIKE DANGOTE... epic!

Sweetlemon:

Like seriously are you for real

A taxi driver in the US is about 50 times ahead of a 60-70k a month earner here!!!

Now let's go back to Adenuga, after his wife finished suffering with him while he was a taxi driver, how did he pay her back? By marrying other women and having various baby mamas here and there? I know MANY cases like that my dear!

You see why I say marrying a broke guy is most times not worth it??

But i tot you just advised the menfolk to have drive like adenuga...you contradicting yourself.


and i wanna advise you...am not saying this out of any ill will but for your real sake...marryinga ready made guy is dangerous...


trust me...

True..
Every(wo)man to h(er)issef

kulyie: Thats what makes nl lively ni
some people come here to while away time, and catch fun others came here to fight

Gbam...thats all

pickabeau1: True..
Every(wo)man to h(er)issef

Why are Naija youths obsessed with marriage but not obsessed with planing the future of their kids? For every story that ends with " started from the bottom, now we are here story" there are millions that are far far worse from where they started. Have u ever wondered why all these kids are roaming the street come from? why they are beggars? Why they are not in school? Why they are hawking? Why they are naked? I have seen a lot of knuckleheads from primary school days,who were up to no good, never obeyed simple instructions; never did their assignments and homework. They tried their hands on a couple of things and failed, then folks will ask them go and get married.. It's going to be very difficult for their kids to make it.. Mind you that a kid that goes to a run down school is going write the same aptitude test with a kid that goes queen's college.. My point is why settle for less when you could have more.. Children are not supposed to help their parents in their struggle, they are supposed to be taken care of. Everyone is not supposed to be like adenuga or Dangote but we owe it to ur kids to provide them with a better future than we had.

Best wishes in your wife search mister.
Meanwhile, Whoever said marrying a ready made guy is dangerous? Hello??!!!! It's the safest move to make. I mean, why would anyone want to subject themselves to poverty? I'm sure loads of peeps have an idea how devastating poverty can be! Listen up guys, it's much easier for any woman to respect a man who takes good care of her than a man who reminds her of how difficult life is. Wise up people!

chaircover: Kulyie he earns 60-70k a month
He is a graduate
He knows what he wants in life
He is still young

He lives in a country where you can hit big money/get a job/contract in minutes . . . . yet he is still condemned

Sounds like a 419, ritualist, wife beater, kidnapper but who drives a Benz has a better chance of getting married in Nigeria these days. . . . ..

he is not condemned!!!!!!!!!! this statement is in bad taste and instead should be condemned!!!!!!!

sucess001:


But i tot you just advised the menfolk to have drive like adenuga...you contradicting yourself.


and i wanna advise you...am not saying this out of any ill will but for your real sake...marryinga ready made guy is dangerous...


trust me...

Please what native language do you speak? maybe you will understand better when I explain it to you in your language that I don't mean the man must be ready made!!!!!!!!
HE JUST NEEDS TO BE ABLE TO PROVIDE THE BASIC NEEDS FOR A SMALL FAMILY OF TWO!

What's so hard to comprehend there? Kilode gan kpa kpa? habatically!

My calling Adenuga and Dangote is for guys to see them as an example of men who have gotten to where there are through having firm and solid goals, priorities, and ambitions!

alutacontinua:

I don't blame them!
You guys only come here to cite the ones that ended well...stories also abound of women that got dumped for another woman after going through all the sacrifice!

In fact there are more stories of the ones who didn't end well than the ones who ended well (Adenuga's first marriage for instance). Even the ones who ended well have painful stories to tell about how they suffered along the line! When they tell you about how their husbands took out their frustrations on them ehn.........

adconline: Why are Naija youths obsessed with marriage but not obsessed with planing the future of their kids? For every story that ends with " started from the bottom, now we are here story" there are millions that are far far worse from where they started. Have u ever wondered why all these kids are roaming the street come from? why they are beggars? Why they are not in school? Why they are hawking? Why they are naked? I have seen a lot of knuckleheads from primary school days,who were up to no good, never obeyed simple instructions; never did their assignments and homework. They tried their hands on a couple of things and failed, then folks will ask them go and get married.. It's going to be very difficult for their kids to make it.. Mind you that a kid that goes to a run down school is going write the same aptitude test with a kid that goes queen's college.. My point is why settle for less when you could have more.. Children are not supposed to help their parents in their struggle, they are supposed to be taken care of. Everyone is not supposed to be like adenuga or Dangote but we owe it to ur kids to provide them with a better future than we had.

Thank you jare!

Definitely not all of us can be Dangotes but we can enrich our lives to the fullest if we work hard enough. You don't have to be rich before you marry. Just be comfortable enough to cater well for a small family and you are good to go.

How can somebody think N100k is enough to cater well for a small family in this time and age in Nigeria. Have you checked the price of ordinary garri in the market Do you know how much a 2 bedroom flat in a low cost area in a city costs for rent?? School fees nko? Do you really want your kids to go to public schools at this time when the quality of education is at it's lowest ebb Even N300k from both husband and wife is bad enough (but it's manageable if your wife can manage money)

Geez y'all should get real abeg!

what ambition and goals did dangote and co have aside having connected kin and military connections

It does not take so much to reap from being the country's sole importer of grains and foodstuffs

Or providing defense contracts to the military or being a proxy to a fellow who mismanaged 12.4bn gulf war oil windfall

Its easy to spout names here on faceless forums...

It is statements being made here that cause people to live beyond their means and over extend themselves to try and impress some chic rather than for people to live within their means

Baby mama:

You make 60k a month probably living in a "face me I shoot you " and you wan marry?
Chai
Women don suffer
Do you know how much SMA gold costs
Diaper Nko?

What wrong with face me i face you apartment? (The man caught is coat according to his sizes) is that problem?
Tell me how women suffer in these case if its true love?
On SMA gold? What wrong with Nigerian White Ogi and eko babaa (yellowish one).
On Dapper Nko? You don't need White Dapper as its harmful to environment, please buy white cotton clothes one yard and cut them to six piece as nappies. wash and use not harmful to environment.
Carry on sm4 nothing do you and good luck in search of your wifey...

Baby mama:

You make 60k a month probably living in a "face me I shoot you " and you wan marry?
Chai
Women don suffer
Do you know how much SMA gold costs
Diaper Nko?

You sound like a very nasty Gold-digger.

I have read some comments here and I believe we're not being realistic.

It seems majority of Nairalanders earn above 300k per month. We have male graduates that make about half of what the OP makes and they are living happily with their spouses. The Key is live within your means. If you cant affford a duplex, rent a 3bedroom if u cant afford d@ get a 2bedroom, selfcontain or face me I slap u.
If you cant afford luxuries dont indulge your self. Differentiate between needs and wants.

I believe the term middle class should even be split into 3. The upper middle class, the mid-middle class and the Lower middle class.
A lot of Nigerians fall under the Lower middle class, like some 1 said If u cant afford SMA gold give d baby breast milk and ogi nooow. If you cant afford greensprings lekki for your kids, there are cheaper private schools noow. I am beginning to think d@ the only people in Nigeria are those d@ are extremely comfortable and we know it's not so. What of the average graduate that earns just 50k will he not marry. The key is living within your means.
For those talking about laying good foundation for your kids start by having the number of children you can train. If you can afford just 2, give them the best within your means.

@ OP find a girl if you like her abeg go ahead and you guys should live within your means.Simple

Sweetlemon:

Thank you jare!

Definitely not all of us can be Dangotes but we can enrich our lives to the fullest if we work hard enough. You don't have to be rich before you marry. Just be comfortable enough to cater well for a small family and you are good to go.

How can somebody think N100k is enough to cater well for a small family in this time and age in Nigeria. Have you checked the price of ordinary garri in the market Do you know how much a 2 bedroom flat in a low cost area in a city costs for rent?? Even N300k from both husband and wife is bad enough (but it's manageable if your wife can manage money)

Geez y'all should get real abeg!

I think you've made your point well enough. Now, unless you're a witch from hell who's bent on driving honest people to depression, I suggest you stfu.

Hazellkitty: Best wishes in your wife search mister.
Meanwhile, Whoever said marrying a ready made guy is dangerous? Hello??!!!! It's the safest move to make. I mean, why would anyone want to subject themselves to poverty? I'm sure loads of peeps have an idea how devastating poverty can be! Listen up guys, it's much easier for any woman to respect a man who takes good care of her than a man who reminds her of how difficult life is. Wise up people!

BoboYekini: I think you've made your point well enough. Now, unless you're a witch from hell who's bent on driving honest people to depression, I suggest you stfu.

It's only a lazy person that will be driven to depression simply because I'm encouraging him to have and pursue their dreams and focus. When it's not as if I'm insulting anybody here.

And I suggest YOU stfu or better still don't come back to the thread if you don't like being motivated to be the best you can be. I'm very sure somebody has learnt one or two things from my posts. So pls park well.....

all what people need is on God hand just try to know what you are doing and prayerfull, all people that are commentn are just saying what they upto

I guess I spent so much time on this thread cos I know where I'm coming from.
I grew up lacking a lot of basic needs in life. You don't want to know the hell my mum passed through in my dad's hands during that period. My dad who later became somebody showed my mum gratitute by having affairs here and there. Let me end my family story there.

Personally, I also went through hell with my broke boyfriends.

I have seen and been adviced by other women NEVER to marry a man who has no ambitions to succeed. I have seen women who married poor men who remained poor. I have also seen other women who got junior wives as appreciation gifts after struggling with their husbands.

So please OP pardon me I beg you.

As for ladies seeing this. Men are naturally selfish my dears. Whether he's rich, comfortable or poor, he won't really appreciate you unless and except he loves you. If you like carry a cross for him, take a bullet for him, drink garri with salt with him, if he doesn't truly love you, you are OYO when he meets another woman who makes him tick.

Cheers!

Sweetlemon, we feel your pain. But that's where it ends. You rightly mentioned 'love'. That's the magic word and the difference between your experiences and ours.
I'm not big on romance(no thanks to una naija babes), but I get Bob Marley here:
"...we'll share the shelter of my single bed,
we'll share the same roof, while Jah provide our bread
Is this love, is this love that I'm feeling'

BoboYekini: Sweetlemon, we feel your pain. But that's where it ends. You rightly mentioned 'love'. That's the magic word and the difference between your experiences and ours.
I'm not big on romance(no thanks to una naija babes), but I get Bob Marley here:
"...we'll share the shelter of my single bed,
we'll share the same roof, while Jah provide our bread
Is this love, is this love that I'm feeling'

Now we are communicating!

Love!

Love is NOT something that you can set time on. As in you can't say, "I'm going to fall in love in 2013 or 2014 or 2020".
It can happen ANYTIME. It comes naturally.
As long as you are old enough to feel that emotion, it can come anytime, anywhere.
Why not just wait for your time? If OP insists he must marry next year, then high chances abound that it won't be true love. He will only be marrying because he found someone that is ready to marry him.

Now while the OP is waiting for his love to come naturally, why not try what he can do to add more value to his life along the way?