Obsession is a negative

Its not. Its a cry for help

My thread has gone awol.
Lawd have mercy!

Its nt a gud to tin oh,Obsession ke!

OCTAVO: Hmmmmmmm

no be ur line

kofsy: Anybody could have said the statement "he's obsessed with me"... that doesn't mean the guy is a potential abuser or lacks control of his emotions. Such feeling is usually present at the beginning of every relationship; where you call each other every hour and send uncountable text messages to each other.

I just feel it is cool and we should not start judging just yet. Their relationship is still at the honeymoon/butterflies stage which can be mistaken for obsession. let's not deny the poor lady the love that she deserves. Many of us have said those words too.

Best comment ever

yellowpawpaw:
My next kweshion is this;

How do u know that u r in a relationship with somebody who is obsessed with u?
How can u make ur escape?

First assess him/her to know how to handle him /her and in case he/she becomes violent involve d police. pray also.

It's a sign of insecurity

New relationships can appear to be "obsessive"...ask her for CLARIFICATION before you destroy a healthy relationship o!

Obsession is not love. It is actually the opposite of what love connotes and stands for. To love someone is to let the person thrive and be themselves in an open and honest relationship. A good love says 'I love you and want your happiness; I will do whatever is good to you while leaving the choice to choose and love me back to you'. If you reciprocate my love - good. If you don't it just simply means you don't appreciate my true love and as such you are not who I am looking for. God is the first to show us such Love and His remains the Model of true Love.

I am no expert but from the little I know of, obsession in a relationship is a form one's deepest insecurities take in order to give them a false or somewhat unique sense of being "madly in love" with another person. It is mostly constructed to be negative by psychologists or general belief so one would initially believe that it is something negative and should not be encouraged for a healthy relationship.

I cannot say if to agree with this or not because apart from relationships, there are other types of obsessive behavior attached to things or ideas and not just humans. For instance you can be obsessed with the idea of being successful at your job or education. Has that ever been viewed as negative? I don't think so. In other words, one can argue if its really wrong to be obsessive.

In relation to your question talking about relationships, I think its important to point out in order to make clear the difference between obsession and infatuation. Obsession mostly involves ideas while the latter involves something more physical such as attraction although to me the two can well be mistaken for each other or can be used interchangeably. Either ways, the combination of the two can prove fatal to relationships.

Humans are not objects and no one wants to be treated like one. At first it may seem like a good thing but I doubt it ever is to be constantly fawned over by an obsessive boyfriend or girlfriend whichever the case may be. A mild obsession could never hurt if it is well controlled. It infact could build a partners confidence in the strength of their relationship. Infact, I have met girls who desire or are simply attracted to obsessive men although I cannot really say so the same holds true for men. In many cases, people are obsessed with the idea of a perfect relationship and not exactly with the person involved in that relationship. They are obsessed with the backlash and fear of a failed relationship, being alone, not measuring up, etc and it is this unhealthy fear of various insecurities that eventually gets translated into an obsession of some sort.

My point is, if in many cases, or from your own judgement a certain type of obsession you may have noticed coming from you or your partner is traced to fear or some issue of insecurity, then you should know that it is not a good thing. Insecurity is never a good thing in a relationship and since this may lead to obsession, then obsession itself is not a good thing. This is my logic. I hope it makes sense.

However, when it comes to Human behavior, its like we constantly adapt to purposely defy all manners of what is constructed to be logic.

Ergo, I may be wrong tomorrow.

Lol.

Good luck.

It is very wrong to be obsessed with someone.

Tinkin 1st.....

Nope! It is a sign of danger for both the obsessed and the object of the obsession. What obsessed people do is more damaging to the object of their fixation than they do good because they will take any step (including those detrimental) to secure the object of their obsession.

Run o!

It depends

Some people don't know the difference.

Obsession might lead to death of one or both partners or a serious psychological disorder!I was in a relationship like dat before I had to run for my life....He is still stalking me till dis present moment for more than a year!pls run from any obsessive partner!

No

Obsession comes as a result of 2much luv.

Obsession is not love and is a very dangerous issue in relationship. Obsession can lead to possessiveness which is a serious issue as each partner is at risk at anytime. When either gets obsessed, that person becomes possessive and when any form of suspicion sets up, either can take their lives. Op, if you are into one, runoooooooooo because love is not blind these days as those days when love was blind are gone.

Idrismusty97: You posted this because of this thread.
https://www.nairaland.com/1558990/need-wife-get-married-2014
Na wa o.You people are now using frontpage to fight like journalist fighting in newspaper.

lol

Caprison: I Need an advice ma fellow Nairalanders... Am currently in Dubai but ma Girlfriend is in Nigeria...yea i dnt fail to send her money for her needs...jst now,she called and was demanding some amount of money...saying she needs it TO BUY SEXY GOWN FOR CHRISTMAS FLEXING....n then i hang up the phone to ask,was the state of Nigerian girl's on Sexy gown cus i have left Nigeria for dubai for over 1yr nw. ...and that actual word SEXY GOWN jst got me insecured....

eyaaa,see my guy dey abroad,dey hussle and his fiancee dey parade with SEXY GOWN...bros eeh,no vex,but make i tell u,from wearing d SEXY GOWN,she's gonna definitely have SEX with some dudes without the GOWN

Maybe ...

Obsession is a demonic trait that only destroys.

ifyalways: Tufiakwa to obsessive love. Not for me,I believe its very unhealthy. Love is a free bird-let it fly and if its yours,it will surely fly back to you.

Like plants,lovers needs some air,some space for the love to flourish. Once there's suffocation,the plant will choke ,wither then die.

Well spoken

its neva a sign of love

Thank God for this thread......

I av a story to tell n a question wich i need u guys to help provide d ansa cos it will go a long way....

My Hostel mate got connected wit a girl some few days back for wot begin like normal tin na turn out to b wot my guy wud b talkin abt dis girl u know day dreaming abt her...... Na so o.... Dis my guy come get some litu change begin spend heavily on d girl.... Note eh:- dis na guy wey me n he dey drag garri to drink for hostel.... E win 1960bet n somehow sha d moni dey come na so btw d space of 3 days dis my guy don spend abt 30k na small moni sha but d moni later touch e hearth after e realise say d girl just dey play am yesterday.... *tears* Girls can b wicked... Am not making dis up...

So my question goes thus:-

dis is a clear case of my guy aving obsesion 4 d lady... What can e do to repair d already sinking short lived relationship??...

As i dey yarn wit una eh dis na serious ''MATTER'' my guy ''Hearth'' break no b small o.. I just dey pity am..

Ur ansas are highly appreciated.. I kneel down beg no insult me eh God bless U

Obsession occurs when the other Partner stops or isnt returning his or her love in a supposed relationship or even when there is no relationship! Obsession is actually a sign of rejection! For most people, to pull themselves out of this situation the only option they have is to look for ways to hurt the said-Partners.

A woman obsessed with you will cut off your dick if you cheat on her.

yellowpawpaw: Efe, no be me o abeg!

I received a message this morning from an old friend way back in uni.
Said she has met her ideal man, blablabla and he is so in lv with her, infact I think he is obsessed with me was the last sentence.
I don't even know whether to tell her congrats or not. Yet to reply and I intnd calling her but I'm not comfy with that so I'm asking if its sign of lv.

May just be a matter of the wrong choice of word she used to describe a man who she thinks is crazily in love with her
That is my conclusion
If this is just what it was,a text message,I think you should be happy for her
You are reading too much meaning into the text
Tell her congrats,that is what I would do
If it was a sick obsession,she would tell you the man is a psycho

If she were my friend and i were this concerned ,I would call her, and be genuinely happy for her and give her the opportunity to talk about this man and the things he does.i wouldn't right off the bat condemn this man based on the word " obsessed" from her text.
People in love will talk and tell you everything
From that conversation or the second one,you will have a pretty good idea if there is anything untoward about it.

You can even say something like this in a conversation

" Nne,hmm,I got your text o,so you and the bobo are really getting along,I am happy for you o.You said the man is obsessed with you,in what way biko" ?
Gist me abeg.

Then sit back and watch her talk