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Hi everyone, this is actually my first time posting on Nairaland because I felt I can get help, advices and guides from members here on relationship.

So, I'm so good with chatting girls up, make them laugh and so it is very easy for me to gain their trust, I can get close to ladies to such extent they share their personal issues with me. It doesn't take me weeks to get a girl screaming YES into my ears, not because I am handsome but because they see me as a cool guy and trustworthy.
But I have a problem and that is staying in the relationship. Within the span of 2 years, I have close to 8 relationships all ending within 1-2 months and this is because I find relationship boring. Once I get into relationship with the lady, it gets boring, I will lose my jovial part, will stop talking like I used to and get unnecessarily jealous. What can I do?... Ur advice and pls no insult abeg.

hmmm mm...well, you didn't tell us if you were the who cuts off the relationships or the other parties.
kindly give us some scenarios of at least two of d crashed relationships

My dear friend... Thank u for coming open on this, however, u didnt define the type of relationship you always go into. Are they sexual relationship or just platonic friendship? No matter which: the first thing you should do is to first of all have a “reason“ why you are going into a relationship. U have to define the purpose to help guide you. If you are going into it just for the fun of it then you are kind of creating a problem for yourself in future. The only way to stay in a relationship is to understand whom you really are. What or the purpose why you are here in this world. Note:- Let me say GOD gave u what it takes to heal wounded hearts but because you dont know that it is a special gift, you are abusing it, not your fault though. But if you can understand that you are created and giving gifts to help make people laugh & smile. Then you will not just go into any relationship for going sake. So my advice for u now is for you to stop falling to girls but lift them up with your special gift.

Hmmm

Adeniyi A.:
hmmm mm...well, you didn't tell us if you were the who cuts off the relationships or the other parties.
kindly give us some scenarios of at least two of d crashed relationships

Most times, I end the relationship cos it gets so boring to me. For example, my first gf... I ended the relationship cos I can feel the closeness we had when we are still friends. I knew I'm hurting her tho she didn't complain but finally had to let go... Till date, she still tell me I'm a cool nice guy, same thing for the 2nd, 3rd and fourth. My last relationship ended because she saw a msg where I stated that I'm not sure about her even though we are 2 months into d relationship.

Don't take this question the wrong way but how old are you? This behaviour IMHO stems from immaturity. You still feel like life is all about fun and excitement. You probably haven't come across the hard knocks of life yet that drain every form of mirth from your psyche and still you are expected to perform like a normal human being (the place where most suicidal tendencies tend to manifest). While you may be above twenty in age still emotional maturity is a whole different ball game. Don't worry I am speaking from experience. You will get to that stage where the truth dawns on you.

Lord_Reed: Don't take this question the wrong way but how old are you? This behaviour IMHO stems from immaturity. You still feel like life is all about fun and excitement. You probably haven't come across the hard knocks of life yet that drain every form of mirth from your psyche and still you are expected to perform like a normal human being (the place where most suicidal tendencies tend to manifest). While you may be above twenty in age still emotional maturity is a whole different ball game. Don't worry I am speaking from experience. You will get to that stage where the truth dawns on you.

What's do u think I shud do sir?

DOYEN003:
What's do u think I shud do sir?

I think you should leave off relationship until you are ready to try by all means to maintain a relationship till marriage, in other words until you have a focus. Right now you are not in the right frame of mind. It is allowed for the young to have fun (I don't mean going around breaking ladies hearts). Make friends with ladies and don't commit to a relationship. Enjoy the company of good friends both male and female. Observe what makes and breaks relationship so that when your own time comes you will be strong.

190-the-clown:
thats what happens when kids refuse going back to school

For ur mind..... Where u see kids for here.... This is a very sensitive issue, if u don't have reasonable contribution, don't bother commenting, read n walk away...

U will definitely outgrow it.
It happened to me too wen i was young and got this hot blood.

Even till now, its still not easy keeping one but bros...

i'm getting old, thinking of settling down so, it doesn't seem i had another choice but to settle down.


But if u want advice, i will tell u some of the things i did:

1. No two ladies are the same. So dnt compare
2. No lady is perfect. Choose a fault u can live with

3. U have a problem. Deal with it. Determine to work ur way with d one u chose.

And lastly,

4. Choose the best u can get....dnt just grab any one...choose carefully...

DOYEN003:

For ur mind..... Where u see kids for here.... This is a very sensitive issue, if u don't have reasonable contribution, don't bother commenting, read n walk away...

SLIDE waxie: U will definitely outgrow it.
It happened to me too wen i was young and got this hot blood.

Even till now, its still not easy keeping one but bros...

i'm getting old, thinking of settling down so, it doesn't seem i had another choice but to settle down.


But if u want advice, i will tell u some of the things i did:

1. No two ladies are the same. So dnt compare
2. No lady is perfect. Choose a fault u can live with

3. U have a problem. Deal with it. Determine to work ur way with d one u chose.

And lastly,

4. Choose the best u can get....dnt just grab any one...choose carefully...

Thanks so much...

DOYEN003:

Most times, I end the relationship cos it gets so boring to me. For example, my first gf... I ended the relationship cos I can feel the closeness we had when we are still friends. I knew I'm hurting her tho she didn't complain but finally had to let go... Till date, she still tell me I'm a cool nice guy, same thing for the 2nd, 3rd and fourth. My last relationship ended because she saw a msg where I stated that I'm not sure about her even though we are 2 months into d relationship.

I see a nice,cool ladies man that lacks sustainability. Rule 1= Before you venture into stuffs, ask yourself can I be able to sustain this in the long run? Rule 2= whatever effort you made to kickstart the relationship, it equally takes twice of such efforts to sustain it.
Tis okay to loose steam. When you find the relationship boring after you have doubled efforts then, apply Rule 3= reinvent the relationship add new direction,focus or this could be the ideal period to take it to new heights. Add spices. Be creative for how you handles a relationship says so much bout you.

A lady once asked me how I would keep on loving my girlfriend. I told her I had many reasons to fall in love with her over and over again. Her voice, her eyes, her smile (those were d physical attributes) and then, her sense of humour (or lack of it), her readiness to forgive, her kind of music (might be some weird genre), and so on. If u look close enough, u'd notice so many beautiful things about ur girlfriend that u easily overlook. Remind urself that u were not "blind" and unconscious when u started tripping for her. U know that u have ur disgusting sides too, and she has decided to overlook them . There will always be someone better than ur babe in everything and she will eventually meet someone way better than u too. But will u keep going after the next interesting chic u find? No. U will stick to her.

I'm so loving my Nairalanders.... Thanks so much for the responses, I'm begining to see my flaws....

Do you ecpect me to contribute

guy relax

iam getting tips to

one love

Guy dis d same thing am goin thru urs is little sef mine in a space of 1 semester ave dated about 6-9 girls n had open secret admires from 3 girls makin it about 12 n at d end it all just gets borin n i walk away

kajole: Do you ecpect me to contribute

guy relax

iam getting tips to

one love

Good to see you are also learning....

enomasly: Guy dis d same thing am goin thru urs is little sef mine in a space of 1 semester ave dated about 6-9 girls n had open secret admires from 3 girls makin it about 12 n at d end it all just gets borin n i walk away

Interesting getting to see I'm not the only one in dis ship..... I believe some of the advices will help you and make u a better man....

enomasly: Guy dis d same thing am goin thru urs is little sef mine in a space of 1 semester ave dated about 6-9 girls n had open secret admires from 3 girls makin it about 12 n at d end it all just gets borin n i walk away

seriously?,just in1 semester?.your cgpa must be dancing skelewu.

Players paradise..

I see...

It's simply greed!

This greed or idea usually arises when you are good looking, intelligent, funny and comfortable.

At this period of your life, it will never make sense to you to settle for only one girlfriend when even the finest girls on the block openly fight for your attention.

Like someone already said ; you will outgrow it when the time comes. Most times, it comes naturally.

I have the same problem as OP. . . I just get bored. Too easy, Too deep = Scary. I just walk away onto the next one and cycle the same routine.

@OP its not ur fault . . . I've come to realise that it takes two people to make it exciting. Most women relax when they think they've "got you". Meh. . . Don't be a bore.

Thanks everybody for your contributions.... I guess I know where to work on myself now....