Should Sex Really Wait Until Marriage. A Case For Both Sides. - Romance - Nairaland
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Ladies, Would You Date A Guy Who Won't Have Sex Until Marriage? / Famous People Who Waited Until Marriage To Lose Their Virginity / Why Sex Should Wait Until Marriage (2) (3) (4)
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| Should Sex Really Wait Until Marriage. A Case For Both Sides. by Matthewbriggs(m): 12:29pm On Dec 22, 2013 |
Season greetings Everyone, from the sideline I watched two threads take different stances in regard to a very important issue regarding premarital sex. Guyz Don't Ever Marry A Girl That You Have Not Had Sex With >> https://www.nairaland.com/1561369/guyz-dont-ever-marry-girl Why Sex Should Wait Until Marriage >> https://www.nairaland.com/1564306/why-sex-should-wait-until Moreover visiting the two thread. l personally felt they were a little biased, leaning and appealing to either male chauvinism or religions sentiments . To some extent I was pissed off. Hence I opened this thread to share my views. Before i proceed, I would like to state that i know for a fact that this topic has really been ovefloged. What I want to achieve via this thread is make a bold for case for both ends of the argument. As I try to give you a balanced overview of my thought of both sides, I will also borrow inspiration from both arguments. picking things I find interesting . This is in my bid to help you make well informed decisions. I'll start with. Why Sex Should Wait Until Marriage 1. The power of abstinence:- Sex is so sweet!!!, beautiful and divine, those who have tasted it, can testify to this fact. As beautiful and enjoyable as it is. it is also messy, dangerous and can ruin you'r life forever. It is plagued with challenges such as sexually transmitted disease, Unwanted pregnancy, and sexual dysfunction etc. In fact every year 370 million people get infected with an STD and sad thing is that majority, don't know they're infected. Meaning, that beautiful chick wey carry back and front, or that handsome dude with six packs may be a walking cauldron of several Viruses and death grenching bacteria. Over the years many protective and preventive methods and tools have been invented ranging from condoms, pills, sticking to one partner etc. But there is no method more powerful than " Abstinence" Keeping a vow of Abstinence because of your desire to wait for marriage, helps you unleash the "power of Abstinence" 2. Sex is more safer in marriage:- Refusing to have sex before marriage protects you from having your future destroyed and marred by an STD, sidetracked by an unwanted pregnancy and having your sexual health and organs depreciate in value over time due to constant use and it also protects you from contingencies like a damaged womb that can be caused by abortion, low sperm count and some fertility problems etc. Fathering or mothering a child out of wedlock is not funny at all, reason been that in 70% of the case, you may not be prepared financially and emotionally to handle such a responsibility, given the way marriage works the reverse will be in most times the case. Also in a marriage there is higher chances that your partner would have No or very few sexual partners thereby protecting your sexual health. 3. Stability and balance:- Sex is a powerful tool/ exercise and it is not just a physical thing, it has emotional implications. Studies have shown that couples bond more after sex. Having sex outside the confines of marriage exposes you to more physiological problems that you might not bargain for. Problems like sex addiction, emotional imbalance caused by feeling of guilt and worthlessness (in most/Some cases). According to WebMD.com many sexually active people admit that they have felt used post-sex and felt bad about themselves for giving in to the sexual temptation. The Heritage Foundation reports that, when compared with their virginal counterparts, sexually active people were less likely to report feelings of happiness and more likely to exhibit signs of depression. In an even more startling study, the same source found that sexually active girls were three times more likely to attempt suicide than virgins and sexually active boys were eight times more likely to try to take their lives than non-sexually active people. (http://motherhood.modernmom.com/emotional-effects-sex-teenagers-2486.html) 4. Strength of character & the veil of purity:- As humans irrespective of our background, religious upbringing and taste, majority of us respect and honor people with a strong sense of character and some iota of purity. Keeping yourself till marriage in most cases makes your wife or husband value your person, your resolve and your strength of character. It passes across the message that you have self-control, because he or she knows how difficult it is to keep one's virginity especially in such a messed up society we live in . Saving it for that special night for that special someone, sendd such a strong message. A message of love that went through fire but never gave in, of patience... strong enough to hold the storm, of innocence, of purity and of privilege. 30 Likes |
| Re: Should Sex Really Wait Until Marriage. A Case For Both Sides. by Matthewbriggs(m): 12:44pm On Dec 22, 2013 |
Why you shouldn't wait for Sex Until Marriage 1. Understanding and Compatibility:- Sex is beautiful, is sweet and fun but for it to be enjoyed by both partners their's need for both of them to understand each other, their sexaul needs, their preferences, style and rhythm. There is need for both of them to be compatibility and understanding if they a sexually in tune with each other. Sex before marriage can help you get answers for the above before signing the dotted lines, because there is nothing as bad and dangerous as couples discovering they are not sexually in sync with each other due to either a intimate problem, intimate preference/style or the absence of very strong intimate chemistry. 2. Fun and excitement:- Sex is fun and refreshing in fact, it is a great stress killer. It can help spice up a relationship taking it to heights hitherto unknown. It is know that most people are focused on building their careers before marriage in these instance they are prone to stress. Sex can help in this regard as a stress reliever... keeping you more refreshed. 3. Bonding and commitment :- Studies have shown that people bond more after a intimate activity. Sex is one out of many tools that facilitates bonding and commitment. It one out of several methods that passes a message across to that special someone. A message of love, of commitment and your desire to bond with him or her to become one. 4. Health and fitness:- Regular sex can help keep you fit and strong ... it is a fun way of burning calories so. The following are surprisingly 11 benefit of sex. > Helps Keep Your Immune System Humming > Boosts Your Libido > Improves Women's Bladder Control > Lowers Your Blood Pressure > Counts as Exercise >Lowers Heart Attack Risk > Lessens Pain (Before you reach for an aspirin, try for an heavenly feeling) > May Make Prostate Cancer Less Likely > Improves Sleep Source (link (http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/sex-and-health?page=1) The question is why wait till one gets married to start enjoying this very important benefits. 11 Likes |
| Re: Should Sex Really Wait Until Marriage. A Case For Both Sides. by Matthewbriggs(m): 12:45pm On Dec 22, 2013 |
Thanks for that taking your time to read the above arguments. Moreover I would love to correct and pass some messages across. >> Been a virgins never means a person can and will not become good in bed with practice when the right time comes. >> Non Virgins are not sluts or people who lack self control. Some of them will infact go to heaven, paradise or whatever name you call it. >> Been a virgin doesn't guarantee a happy marriage, so does been a non- virgin >> Sex is not for kids... it is for people who have reached some level of physical, financial and emotional maturity. >> Sex will not make someone love you the more... it might instead make you love the person the more so be careful who you have it with, so your feeling don't get played with. >> Sex is beautiful and also messy. At all cost protect yourself. >> Never be pressured into having sex with any one unless you are ready and willing to have it. >> Virginity or Non Virginity is not tied to your success in life. >> Stay true to your opinion about sex and hold on to your belief system toward this issue. But never shove it down or judge people for who they are or what they chose to believe. >> Never fail to enjoy sex when you are ready to engage in it, what ever comes in the way of this enjoyment fix it as soon a possible Moreover be you a supporter of sex before or after marriage, what matters to me and I believe, should matter to you. Is having the best sex ever in the world with that one person who makes your world stand still in the confines of a commited relationship. #Mathew Briggs the fire ... wishes you the best sex life ever. 27 Likes |
| Re: Should Sex Really Wait Until Marriage. A Case For Both Sides. by Kezifils(m): 1:23pm On Dec 22, 2013 |
Will read and comment when it makes front page 1 Like |
| Re: Should Sex Really Wait Until Marriage. A Case For Both Sides. by Luckygurl(f): 1:59pm On Dec 22, 2013 |
That was a very nice evalaution from an unbiased perspective. Life is all about personal choices moreso we're in a free world and everyone is entitled to his/her opinion and way of life. In my humble opinion, sex should wait till after marriage. Amongst the physical reasons of waiting is the absence of fear of, -contracting veneral diseases, -having unwanted pregnancy. The emotional reasons to wait includes protection from pitfalls associated with premarital sex such as -guilt, -misleading feelings about sex and love, -hardships of breaking up e.t.c. Amongst spiritual reasons to wait, U have - protection from sin against the body. - provision of blessings of patience. -provision of the blessing of trust. Just exactly the way the OP outlined them above. I'd round up with this quote from a fellow nairalander though I can't remeber the exact way it was put: "Do not get yourself into a permanent deal with someone who's just temporal" 9 Likes |
| Re: Should Sex Really Wait Until Marriage. A Case For Both Sides. by Snoggy(m): 2:48pm On Dec 22, 2013 |
Nawa oh! We wey don dey phuck since primary school nkor?  How can someone reclaim his/her virginity? 2 Likes |
| Re: Should Sex Really Wait Until Marriage. A Case For Both Sides. by Matthewbriggs(m): 3:32pm On Dec 22, 2013 |
@luckygurl i share your religious sentiments as well. @snoggy I smh for you...lol |
| Re: Should Sex Really Wait Until Marriage. A Case For Both Sides. by borntobegr8t(m): 3:43pm On Dec 22, 2013 |
Unbiased analysis indeed culling articles from internet websites/blogspots that does not reflect the prevailing nigerian society is unacceptable. Thank God life doesnt give us a choice,it gives us choices. "ON TESTING BEFORE MARRIAGE I STAND "  3 Likes |
| Re: Should Sex Really Wait Until Marriage. A Case For Both Sides. by Matthewbriggs(m): 4:01pm On Dec 22, 2013 |
born_to_be_gr8t: Unbiased analysis indeed Sorry to burst your bubble their was no culling of articles involed... the links were to help throw more life and provide refrence for a point. secondly it complely reflects what's prevailing in nigerian society, because i wrote it, with my immediate enviroment at heart. If you want to state otherwise... Do so with valid points. Finally no one is contesting or cares about your stand. The most important thing is striving to be great at whatever you chose to do or "stand for"... just as your monicker suggest. 3 Likes |
| Re: Should Sex Really Wait Until Marriage. A Case For Both Sides. by Nobody: 4:19pm On Dec 22, 2013 |
This is an over-flogged topic on NL lately, but I don't mind taking some time to comment because, THE TRUTH CANNOT BE OVER-EMPHASIZED. Sex MUST wait till after marriage. Don't ask me why! You either take the truth or leave it. Neither is anyone forcing you to take it! There are countless reasons why sex should wait. Inappropriate sex is one of the biggest and deepest reasons why Nigeria and the world at large is an unsafe place to be now. People try to allow it so they are not criticized for other wrong doings. One thing is sure: Whether you bend, break, bury or bypass the truth, YOU CAN'T KILL IT. Even if you succeed at killing it, IT WILL RESURRECT. 15 Likes |
| Re: Should Sex Really Wait Until Marriage. A Case For Both Sides. by pearl360(f): 4:25pm On Dec 22, 2013 |
I strongly believe that Sex should wait until after marriage. Looking at what the poster has written, the effects of sex before marriage far outweighs its benefits. God is aware of this, that is why He made it to be enjoyed IN marriage and not outside it. 5 Likes |
| Re: Should Sex Really Wait Until Marriage. A Case For Both Sides. by Matthewbriggs(m): 4:43pm On Dec 22, 2013 |
pearl360: I strongly believe that Sex should wait until after marriage. @bolded very smart observation  1 Like |
| Re: Should Sex Really Wait Until Marriage. A Case For Both Sides. by Nobody: 4:56pm On Dec 22, 2013 |
Matthew briggs: as much as I understand you both, i must insist that there's NO BENEFIT in sin. 3 Likes |
| Re: Should Sex Really Wait Until Marriage. A Case For Both Sides. by Matthewbriggs(m): 5:08pm On Dec 22, 2013 |
leatherman: I share your religious sentiments as well... but what happens to those who don't. |
| Re: Should Sex Really Wait Until Marriage. A Case For Both Sides. by Nobody: 5:10pm On Dec 22, 2013 |
Matthew briggs: As much as I would have loved them to, if they don't, I can only watch and pray.  1 Like |
| Re: Should Sex Really Wait Until Marriage. A Case For Both Sides. by ireneidiva(f): 5:19pm On Dec 22, 2013 |
Over-flogged topic. 1 Like |
| Re: Should Sex Really Wait Until Marriage. A Case For Both Sides. by Ngokafor(f): 6:16pm On Dec 22, 2013 |
Hmmm @op nice and balanced analysis there...to be honest,I believe sex outside marriage should be discouraged especially amongst teenagers most of whom are ignorant of the risks involved. ...young females should be extra cautious because apart from the religious aspect, diseases,pregnancy and the accompanied abortion/child-out-of-wedlock involved,there's this strong emotional attachment most females have for a guy/man they sleep with,reasons why some cant break out of bad relationships or feel so bitter and 'used' when dumped..thereby giving undeserving males so much power over them.. ..am guilty of this sex before marriage as well *shame-faced*.,i really tried to hold out but my boo was such a sweet caring and ermm wait for it..generous guy!..lol!,his being attractive (which i fought so hard to resist) didnt help matters either ..but in all these,my fate was sealed(so to speak) the day the deed was done,i just couldnt resist him anymore and knew i was in trouble .I was glad that his kind of work at that time entailed him being away from me at least two weeks in a month so that 'seeing finish' will not set in.. luckily for me,the feeling was/is mutual on his part and we are getting married soon.I actually shed tears of joy and relief the day he proposed,leaving him asking with a slightly worried look on his face if that was a yes!... ...sadly,many females have been left feeling used and bitter after a failed relationship filled with bedmatics that should be between married couples,with perhaps one or two abortions and STDs in the mix...Men/guys may not understand the emotional attachment that comes with sex for females,but it's there and is real.. ...therefore to be on the safe side,females in particular should delay sleeping with a guy they are not married to for as long as possible cos it's almost a no-win situation for us..i know am the wrong person to preach this but the truth needs to be told... 53 Likes |
| Re: Should Sex Really Wait Until Marriage. A Case For Both Sides. by Matthewbriggs(m): 6:22pm On Dec 22, 2013 |
Ngokafor: @Bolded very insightful and true.  1 Like |
| Re: Should Sex Really Wait Until Marriage. A Case For Both Sides. by Matthewbriggs(m): 6:29pm On Dec 22, 2013 |
ireneidiva: Over-flogged topic. leatherman: This is an over-flogged topic on NL lately, but I don't mind taking some time to comment because, THE TRUTH CANNOT BE OVER-EMPHASIZED. @irenediva I quite agree with you and the bolded in leatherman's comment |
| Re: Should Sex Really Wait Until Marriage. A Case For Both Sides. by Matthewbriggs(m): 6:45pm On Dec 22, 2013 |
leatherman: Beautiful |
| Re: Should Sex Really Wait Until Marriage. A Case For Both Sides. by Nobody: 6:59pm On Dec 22, 2013 |
Excellent posts, Matthew. leatherman:+1. Immediate gratification, perhaps. But this's no benefit at all, considering the future implications of the action. 2 Likes |
| Re: Should Sex Really Wait Until Marriage. A Case For Both Sides. by Matthewbriggs(m): 8:18am On Dec 23, 2013 |
^^Thanks Yield |
| Re: Should Sex Really Wait Until Marriage. A Case For Both Sides. by Nobody: 9:40am On Dec 23, 2013 |
Hmmmm |
| Re: Should Sex Really Wait Until Marriage. A Case For Both Sides. by Nobody: 1:33pm On Dec 23, 2013 |
martha: Hmmmm Are those words strumming some notes in you? |
| Re: Should Sex Really Wait Until Marriage. A Case For Both Sides. by Nobody: 1:34pm On Dec 23, 2013 |
Matthew briggs: Thank you bro.... I like your signature too  1 Like |
| Re: Should Sex Really Wait Until Marriage. A Case For Both Sides. by dayoungmoney1: 1:49pm On Dec 23, 2013 |
words on the marble... |
| Re: Should Sex Really Wait Until Marriage. A Case For Both Sides. by crystalballs: 4:10pm On Dec 23, 2013 |
i shall never buy NO TESTING. Team Tested Ok. 4 Likes |
| Re: Should Sex Really Wait Until Marriage. A Case For Both Sides. by Nobody: 4:10pm On Dec 23, 2013 |
It must wait because the temptation to taste another person private part is going to be soooooo irresistible! |
| Re: Should Sex Really Wait Until Marriage. A Case For Both Sides. by tayork(m): 4:14pm On Dec 23, 2013 |
my brother,i dont follow all those ones...one thing i know is that the bible is against sex before marriage xo do not have it if you obey God 2 Likes |
| Re: Should Sex Really Wait Until Marriage. A Case For Both Sides. by ichommy(m): 4:14pm On Dec 23, 2013 |
Thinking |
| Re: Should Sex Really Wait Until Marriage. A Case For Both Sides. by Nobody: 4:16pm On Dec 23, 2013 |
Ngokafor: Hmmm @op nice and balanced analysis there...to be honest,I believe sex outside marriage should be discouraged especially amongst teenagers most of whom are ignorant of the risks involved.Can you guys kindly contribute 1,000 Likes for this wonderful Lady ??Please!..... 1000 Likes pleaseeeeeeeeee! Don't scroll down without clicking the likes button pleaseeeeeeeeee! 29 Likes |
| Re: Should Sex Really Wait Until Marriage. A Case For Both Sides. by john6006: 4:18pm On Dec 23, 2013 |
The answer to this question is, complicated because you have the negative and positive view. |
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