Disclaimer: No part of this story should be reproduced in any way whatsoever without My permission.

Wey d story na.... But wait ooo, chai am d first 2 comment. I broke d record 4 d first tyme, ride on bro

valdes00: Wey d story na

I tire ooo

This is John Champion and Jim beglin... Yes this is the world cup final between Nigeria and Netherlands. Its 88 min with Netherlands leading 2 goals to one 1...

And its a corner to the Netherlands, great clearance from omeruo; Samuel with the ball ...its him against 6 defenders, what can he do... He's beaten 3 players, the defense is left with 3 defenders...

Woah!! He beats heitinga, beays strootman and Vlaar is the last defender to beat... Yes Samuel has beaten them...
Yeee!!! ...its him against the goalie!! GOAL!!! Samuel equalizes!!

With less than a minute more. Its a free kick to Nigeria...and its Samuel to take it ...

Yes I can do it... This is my time... Netherland papa... Suddenly I felt Someone Slapping my back...

KPA!!! KPA!!! KPA!!!

''Brother Samuel daddy said you should come for devotion o'' Paul my Younger brother said.

'Oooh wich kin nonsense b dis now ...when I wan make history'

'Woh tell daddy say I dey come jhor'...

...........To be continued

After devotion, I rushed my breakfast and headed for my friend's house...

'Hey Nonso aw fr na'...I said

'Ah dey o Frog!!'...Nonso said

'how far your client na?'

'the fool no wan reply me o, I taya' ...He said

He also rushed his breakfast, and we headed for the cafe...

YES!!! YES!!! YES!!! Mugu don fall o!!!

'Why you dey shout like pesin wey wan c'um na?'

'Guy ma clinet don pay o'

I couldn't believe my ears... Nonso showed me his email...
'Ol boy una go gimme my share o' ... The cafe attendant said.

The look he received from Me and Nonso was enough to make him pee in his pants...

We were gisting about how and when we were going to cash the money out when we felt someone tapping us from our back.

I immediately turned and slapped the person without knowing who it was. It seem the Devil is always there to put sand into my Spag ...

The Man while holding his cheek in amazement showed me his ID card... Tears nearly escaped my eyes, but ikotun boys don't cry.

It reads: EMEKA AKUNAKA
IKOTUN POLICE STATION
AREA 'Q'

I look at Nonso, He looked back at me... One thing was sure...WE WERE BUSTED..well with Davido's Gobe playing in the background...

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Please your comments are welcome ...nd ur constructive criticism are also welcomed...

ITS MY FIRST STORY THOUGH

Following, bumper to bumper

I hardly comment on stories, i prefer to be a ghost reader bt am breakin my rules 4 u pls dnt disappoint me

..........................................................
When I was experiencing this scenario...I knew all what uduak and flow did were learners when compared to this..

I looked at Nonso his shorts were already wet, and so was his face. I wanted to laugh but I swallowed it...

OYA!! Na una dey do YahooYahoo abi?? Ur own don finish today!!

My Pentium 6 brain started working, they don't call me psalmurai for notin., but no idea cameup, well I guess they call me psalmurai for notin ...

I told the officer; Oga officer, na so we meet am o...we just buy Time sef.....

Before I could finish what I was saying...

TQUAI!!! A SuperHot Slap landed on my cheek..
The signals were too strong for ma brain to overlook. It crashed and restarted straightup.

I Passed out..........
..............................................................................
KPLUSH!!
I felt water on my face. I bolted up and looked around, the smell of conc. Dry urine welcomed me (I think say na woman piss cos na woman piss dey smell pass...:/ or so I thought)

The first being I saw was as ugly as OB'J if not uglier... a well built homie with scars all over his face... I Started crying thinking I was in hell (but faya no burn me na nd ma cloth dey wet)...
Oh yeah! I was with Hades and minion, and that's pre-hell!! I saw a slim guy that's fanning him, and a huge man in the far corner... Also in the far corner I saw Nonso still crying

Then it dawned on me that I was in the police cell.

Before I could walk up to him the 'huge guy in the far corner' grabbed me, tried stripping me naked, but a kick to his d'ic'k made him leave me alone...grabbing his Manhood and cursing through his teeths but I cared less..

I rushed to Nonso..
'Guy wetin hapun na, why you dey cry like dagrin mama?' Trying to joke a lil...
He kept on crying...
I tried Persuading him to stop crying , but to no avail.
I was growing frustrated and wanted to leave him alone..
Just then I heard ..

'Gu...Guy..Guy....

'ehen ehen tellme what happened' I said.

'Guy....' then he started another fresh round of tears..

I looked at other inmates then back at him..

'Guy wetin dey do you na Tellme wetin do u'..I said out of anger...

'SAM....THEY BUST MY Y'NAS'H'.... He cried like someone died...

I started laughing uncontrollably, rolling on the floor, pointing at him...

'Later you go dey claim hardman'

He looked at me with anger in his eyes, don't ask me how I saw his eyes since cells are always dark..I just sensed it..

Suddenly the 'Huge guy in the far corner' grabbed me. Relieved me of my shorts and underwears before I could say 'MyNameIsGEJandIGetSence' my fresh as's was starring at him..
He brought out his tool wanted to use it on me...

Tears flowed freely down my eyes, the last thing I'm expecting rightnow is a miracle.

Just then... I heard a strong Familiar voice saying...

'LEAVE HIM ALONE'

.................................................................................

I dey come beans dey fire...!!

Abeg comment la... even if na jst fullstop '.' Just comment....

Its the fuel to more updates

2 much bro.

ok suspense filled. waitinig for more. seems the story has direction at this point.
great job anyway.

God save u.lol.

Humor at this point in time is Welcomed. Lovely work dear.

As u be my paddy i say make i branch here. Just put the link in my Preachers son thread, pple go follow you plenty.

Ehen this story make sense die, but please avoid abbreviations to make the readers understand more, no be only nigerians dey NL person from UK don send me PM. Oya leggo there.

I dey follow u with okada speed.

****following******

This is a good one!following.........

I'm here. This is hilarious,nice work

Thanks for the support the support...



TYPING...

.................................................................................
'LEAVE HIM ALONE' I heard..

I was freed immediately, I looked around to see who my savior was, just then I saw junior, I was suprised to see junior, actually I really wasn't suprised..

Junir was my partner in crime in secoundary school, He's known around town for his unique talent which was.......

STEALING.

Junior steals anything that can be called 'Matter'..( For those that don't know the definition of matter you can always ask google )... He steals better than Aunty oduah (Na joke o, make SSS no find me come house o).. He once stole his own eraser thinking it was for someone else.

'Psalmurai afa wetin u dey find come my side now'?

'Na wa yu o.. So yu don turn cell to your house?' I said laughing

I told him how we got ourselves in the cell. I also inquired how he got in here..well I was sure he got in here for stealing, And he confirmed it. Actually he tried stealing someone's car tire. How stupid does that sound? Stealing someone's car tire by the road side.

I introduced junior to Nonso, and they got along real quick, this was my secound day in the cell. And any of our parents were yet to come looking for us.

We were freed a week later when the no one came for us, and they were the ones loosing cos they fed us twice a day, I really enjoyed the cell, free food (bread nd beans *my favorite*) lots of sleep and bullying newcomers was really fun..(maybe yall should try it sometime)

.................................................................................

We were back on the streets, thanks to FG and ASUU. Got back home to face my super strict dad..

My Pentium 6 brain got to work.. Came up with the perfect lie.. Atlast they don't call me Psalmurai for nothing.

I don't know how my dad got to know I was freed, as I got home I met him in the front of our house with all the types of wires that exist.. Ranging from copper wires to lead wires, from red to violet, even Rainbow wire sef dey..

'I Don die' I admitted to myself

Sam where have you been?? He asked
Actually he didn't do the asking, a stroke of his favorite 10mm did the talking..

I was about to serve him my hot, sure, purely calculated lie when we saw a peugeot 504 stop outside our gate.

We didn't need T.B Joshua to tell us to flee..
................................................................................

continue guy...ur story is interesting

https://www.nairaland.com/1562992/how-stop-andriod-hugging-data sava data on ya andy

come where u? beta come finish wetin u start o

........................................................................
We flew into the house faster than that superhero Flash.

Before we could close our door...a pistol was already pointed to my face..
'How this people take fast like this na?' I thought..
They were really fast, the flew out of the car and into our house in less than 3 seconds..
If I'm Flash then these guys were supermen..

Ehen I forgot to describe to house for you guys..
Well I'm from a family of four 3 boys , 2 girls.I'm the 2nd boy nd 4th child.We stay in a really cool duplex with 2 beautiful cars. I'm from a semi rich home, but I don't know why I chose to follow the streets. Well I love adventure and the streets gave me lots and lots of it...

I tried turning around to see who the culprit was,
I saw that they were 6 in number, dressed in all blacks... They all looked like some AYE brethren... An idea was produced by my trademark Pentium 6 brain..

'Abrakaya'... I said.

'Rugged you'... The guy pointing a shiny pistol at me replied.

Rugged axeman... I told them

Ahhh!! Na our brother be this now... The guy I suspected to be their Point 1 said.

I smiled.. Me wey be Jew, bloody rat.. I jus sabi O.T small ..well that's by the way.

All this while my dad's pant wasn't wet , it was loaded with 'Matter' ...I stole a glance at him and smiled, well the floor was flooded thanks to my younger bro. He was the only one at home with my dad so... Dazall

They loosen up a little..sat down and I went into the house and brought some food for them, they ate, we chatted and laughed a little...

Nobody needed to tell my dad to run inside,
At this point I'm sure my dad was happy to have me as his son... Cos my dad hardly uses the bank he's got his cash loaded in his wardrobe.

We settled them and they left... Atleast it's better than them taking everything.
The requested.... No they ordered I returned back with them to the temple..

I knew I was going to get screwed if I followed them,...I narrated everything that happened for the past week and pleaded with them a little that I've got a lot to clear with my dad.

The point1 swallowed my format nd it was forced to make a promise to come looking for them or else they'll storm my house again. Well I had no choice did I?
.................................................................................

Back at the cafe,

Me and Nonso tried tracking his control...

'chai! Awon the owner ti ja owo yen sha(those bad guys have cashed out the money!!)'... I lamented.

We were sober, out mood was ruined.

Suddenly the cafe went silent again,

I sensed something terrible was about to happen..

.................................................................................

I dey come(Idc) make I check my mail maybe this client go gree T/T........

So loving dis #leggo

*Dancing Galala*

*Runs to ikotun market... With no clothes on

I'm gonna give thanksgiving for my k'ush joint tommorow

MY SPEECH
........................................................................
They always say its impossible until its done, I'm a man of many talents and I never thought writing was one of them, I rap, sing, dance, draw, model
Amongst others.

This is my first shot at writing, I've really never written before but I guess there's some foundation to build an empire on.

I wanna thank my Fans (I'm not sure I've got any yet tho), I wanna thank oga flow+ oga rock +oga mazi (my mentors them) for putting me through indirectly and unconsciously..God will put you through too..

I wanna thank MTN, even though they bleepup most times, they didn't bleepup this time... I wanna thank my Pentium 6 brain for being ahead of its peers..God'll upgrade you to the next level
I wanna say a big thank you to the mods, I see you... God'll see you too..

Well I smell beans nd bread around the corner make I branch that togo woman wey dey abogunloko side run chao my recipe...

I LOVE NAIRALAND!! PEACE!!

Click like

Ewa...

Abeg comment now...

Criticize and correct me where I've gone wrong..

I need criticism...

Thnx



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You dey try my guy.. Easy on d political jokes o.. B4 you see yourself for real prison..