Dear Nigerian Artiste,
It is Christmas season again, that
blessed season of giving,
getting…and attending shows
and concerts. I don’t need to
wish you a merry one because I
know that by now the state of
your bank accounts has told you
all you need to know about how
merry or not it will be.
This seems to be a season of
letters, yes I know, and even
more intriguing of leaked ones. I
assure you, this letter is different.
If it ever gets leaked, know I had
no hand in it. It could just be the
handiwork of my detractors and
political foes.
You are probably wondering
who I am and the reason I have
chosen to write you a letter
rather than tweet at you or send
you an email or a text. Wonder
no further, you and I know you
will never reply me. I am not a
celeb. I digress.
So, how many concerts have you
signed up for this period? Your
account manager at the bank
should by now be delirious and
you already checking out rides at
Coscharis. Bulletproof BMW 7
series maybe? That shouldn’t be
an issue now, aren’t you all
Princesses and Princes? No pun
intended here.
I have a question by the way.
How do you plan to make these
concerts rock? Like make them
totally unforgettable, make them
headline grabbing and stuff?
Have you been rehearsing with
your band?
Say what? You don’t know what
a band is?
So how do you plan to make it
worth the while of fans who pay
huge amounts for tickets and
who take the risk of coming to
crowded venues and willingly
inhale a toxic mixture of second
hand smoke, mouth and body
odour? And probably get fondled
by jagudas all in the name of
jumping up and down to the
sound coming from the
loudspeakers?
Oh? You plan to get a DJ to play
your CDs while you lip synch
along? Come on! You have to
agree that is unfair, unethical,
unprofessional, mediocre,
untenable, une….. ok let me stop.
It will do you a world of good if
you read this letter carefully and
take some of the advice and
criticisms that will flow from it
under advisement.
Your fans are getting smarter
and more demanding by the day.
A day will come when they will
rather listen to the radio or sit in
their cars or homes and just flip
through CDs, than come to your
concert. At least it is you
performing (we hope), and of
course cheaper, more convenient
and less stressful, than struggling
to get into VIP at Eko Hotel.
Laziness is the only reason I can
think of that will make you, a
professional artiste (I definitely
can’t refer to you with the more
particular title of Musician, you
cannot convince me you are one
yet) perform from CDs at a show.
Your counterparts abroad take
time out to have sessions with
bands (whether theirs or rented)
in preparation for concerts and
tours. They don’t rely on DJs. At
worst, DJs are a backup. This
actually applies to Hip-Hop
artistes too.
Instead of giving a show that will
make you go down in history
and be hailed a legend like
TuBaba or be referred to as good
concert material like Asha,
Omawunmi, and Waje, you will
rather stand inebriated in front
of hundreds (maybe thousands)
of fans and have the gumption to
turn back at a likely equally
stoned DJ, screaming at him or
her “DJ track 7…no! no! that is
track 6, I want track 7”. Not good
at all. You should aim for better
quality.
Imagine if in the middle of you
rambling through a track we all
have concluded you performed
in the studio while recording, the
DJ mistakenly pulls a cable and
the only gadgets left working are
the microphones and we
(including your dazed self) find
out that you weren’t uttering
anything all evening? That you
have instead been busy just
throwing in the occasional “yaw!
yaw! Put ye hends up!! Lagos are
you happy??!!!!” Dude come on!
How can Lagos be happy after
you have been found out to be
scamming them? Lesser things
have led to concert riots in other
places. This picture I painted
recently happened to one of
Nigeria’s top gospel artistes after
collecting 500,000 naira as
performance fees from an
hapless church. Is what you
collect really a performance fee
or merely an appearance fee. We
need to be clear on this point.

From The Office Of The President Of CD Buyers..

Just In Case

I was here

Dygeasy: Just In Case

una don madt finish o

I remember when R2bees performed on the grand finale of Project Fame S6........pure bvllsh1t!

Dygeasy: First to comment. Dancing alingo, skelewu and azonto

guy I catch you. @OP nice copy and paste article

akraym: guy I catch you. @OP nice copy and paste article

Why Evilz Nau?


I Offend You Before?